Right on cue, Mia heard a bump in the hallway. She looked at the door, then wide-eyed back at the Angel, who nodded brightly with a grin.
“See, Mia, you can do it! You already have!”
And so once again, Mia focused, focused on what it was like in the hallway. Dark, everyone was in bed, there would be no lights on. Chilly. But if she stood on the runner, her feet wouldn’t be too cold. The cat would likely be lurking out there, she’d have to be sure not to stand on him or trip over him.
She felt him brush against her leg and purr, and heard the Angel’s muffled voice through the door.
“…don’t let me down now! It is possible!…” She turned and once again the Angel was standing beside her, beaming with delight. She nodded, and put a finger to her lips, gesturing towards Mia’s parents’ door, behind which they slept, blissfully unaware of the truly bizarre things happening down the hallway. The Angel gestured towards Mia’s closed bedroom door, and Mia moved to open it, tripping over the cat and bumping into the table as she did so.
She gasped as she realized that was the bump that she had heard whilst standing in her room, and once again turned to her companion with wide eyes.
The Angel laughed softly and nodded, and gestured once again for Mia to open the door. She did so, walking back into her room in a daze, half-expecting to see herself staring back open-mouthed.
“You made it true, you know - tripping over the cat” laughed the Angel. You believed you might trip over him in the hallway, and so you did. So you did” She laughed again.
“How did you know that?” asked Mia, her head cocked to one side as she looked at this stranger beside her “Can you read minds?”
“No, silly girl. I told you. Things like mind-reading and time travel are the inventions of the human mind, a way of explaining the unexplainable they see around them. It is simply another Truth. Humans lie - it is a fault of theirs. They put their faith in beliefs instead of in Truths, and it’s important that we, as angels, can distinguish between a belief, a Truth and an out-and-out lie.”
“But why?”
Looking at the young girl before her, so curious, so full of questions, so ignorant in so many ways, the Angel wondered how it could be possible that this child was the one they had all waited so long for. Surely, if the Truths were correct, and she had to believe that they were, then she should know something. There should be some hint of recognition, of familiarity with the stories she was telling her. But the wide-eyed curiosity and the girl’s stubborn belief that this was all just part of a dream, told her that this girl knew nothing of what or who or why she was. She wondered how long she had been thinking, had the pause been too great? An understanding of the human perception of time was difficult for an Angel to comprehend. Time meant nothing to them. Only Truths mattered, and in Truths, time was irrelevant.
“Because, Mia, we rely on them to do much of our bidding in this world. Angels cannot be seen to have direct influence over human lives. And there are certain things that we must trust the humans with. Things we must know have been done.”
“Things you can’t do yourselves? I thought Angels could do anything.”
“Yes, in certain Truths that is the case. Nothing is truly beyond our capabilities, so long as there are Truths to back us up. But one important Truth exists, Mia, a universal and unbreakable Truth - Angels cannot know the true thoughts and intentions of other angels. Angels can conceal, Angels can lie…and Angels can betray.”
“Like my mother” Mia said quietly.
“Yes, Mia, like your mother. Had we known what was going through her mind, what she planned to do….well, rest assured, we would have stopped her. Your life would have been very different than this one, Mia. But what is done is done, I suppose…” She sighed, and looked again at the child, who know looked down at the floor, her face wearing an expression the Angel knew as ‘sadness’.
“Why did she want me dead? I don’t understand. Why spend so long and try so hard to have a baby, then just…well. Why?”
“She turned, Mia. It’s not your fault, she just…turned. For years we tried, all different ones of our race, trying and trying to unlock the animals’ secret of creating life. In our Truth, it is only our Father who can do that, and as I explained, we just…are one day. But humans are very clever creatures. From a very brief entanglement, you can create the ingredients to build a complete new person. Even by accident. Do you see how that mystifies us, Mia? Two people, under the influence of drink or drugs or just pure lust can, very quickly indeed, so I’ve heard, perform a simple act that creates a life without even meaning to. We needed this secret. We needed someone on our side who was not a human, but who could not betray us. We needed you, Mia. You are the Angelchild we have all waited a very very long time for. A long time, even by an Angel’s concept of time - an immeasurable amount of time in human terms.
You were not the first child created, Mia. But you were the first to live.
CHAPTER FIVE
We tried for so long with pairings deemed appropriate. We didn't understand how these things worked. That humans, unlike animals, do not mate based on strong genes and a good chance of surviving. We tried so many different pairings, but none of the children survived. Some of the mothers didn’t survive.” She stopped for a moment, remembering her lost Sisters. “It was the first time we realized something could stop us from Being, besides our Father’s will. It wasn’t meant to be. And then your mother came to me, and told me she wanted to try. Having seen what had happened to the others, still she wanted to try. Something about the way she came to me told me to let them try. After all, what harm could it do? We were fighting a losing battle. It seemed our Father wanted to keep Creation for Himself.
Angels don’t love the way humans do. We have a kind of love, I suppose, between us. But we don’t have love for a mate, because we have no need for mates. Your parents, Mia, were highly unusual. They had always had a kind of bond, above the usual level of concern for the group. From the first moment they met, they shared a special interest in one another’s concerns. And since we were trying to achieve something highly unusual, we thought it was worth them having a try.”
“But…if you don’t…mate then…how….” Mia blushed, and the question stuck in her throat.
“How did they have sexual intercourse?” The Angel asked in her straightforward manner, clearly not embarrassed by the question at all. “It was simple, really - they did it the same way any two humans do, and I know you’re wondering why they had the necessary anatomy to make a child - we simply created a Truth.
We made it so that they had all the parts they needed to make a human child, that they were capable of conceiving a human child. And for some reason, this time over all the others, it worked”.
“You created a Truth? I thought the truth was just…well…true”.
“Mia, you forget - my world is very different than yours. Think of it like this: you tell someone you are having a party for your birthday, although it isn’t actually your birthday. But that person believes it is. They tell others, and those others then ‘know’ it is your birthday. By the time the party comes around, it is your birthday party, see?”
“That sounds very much like a lie to me.”
“No. You didn’t actually say it was your birthday. Just that you were celebrating your birthday. It became true when the people showed up with birthday gifts and greetings, and everyone wished you a happy birthday.” She winked and smiled, but her face fell when she saw that Mia still didn’t understand.
“It is hard to grasp, the way we can change what you would consider reality. We are not constrained by reality. There is no such thing to us. And nevertheless, that is how you were born, Mia. You were born from the Truth that your parents could conceive a child and that your mother could give birth to that same child. Dreadful business, childbirth. Messy. Noisy. Not pleasant at all, really.”
Mia smiled. “And how would you know what childbirth is like?” she challenged playf
ully.
“Well I was there when you were born, Mia.”
There was no hint of a lie or a joke in the stranger’s eyes, yet Mia had been there, seen the people in the room. This stranger was not one of them.
“My name, is Leonara” offered the stranger gently.
Reflexively, Mia’s hand flew to her chest, and she clutched at the place the burning had started, when the woman touched the baby. She backed away from the stranger, whose hand was now outstretched beseechingly, and whose eyes were sad.
“What did you do to me?” gasped Mia.
“Mia, please, don’t be afraid of me. I never wanted to hurt you. I had to test you. I had to know what you were, if you were healthy. It was the only way.”
“Did you know it would hurt me?”
“No.” replied the stranger firmly.
But Mia thought back to the cold, indifferent expression on the face of the woman in the room. She had known it would cause the baby agony, Mia was sure of it.
“I mean the baby, did you know it would hurt the baby?”
Sighing, Leonara nodded.
“It was not the first time I had done it. I was the one to test all the children, those who lived through the birth. It was not something I enjoyed, Mia, hearing those screams. But pain is another thing we know little of. Children cry. Babies scream. It was not until you fell to the ground tonight and cried out that I realized that pain is something that causes greater suffering to humans than we had thought. I am sorry Mia - I truly meant you no harm.”
Still clutching her chest, Mia looked into the beseeching eyes, and that spark of familiarity rose again in her stomach. She nodded tightly, but did not come any closer, and continued to clutch her chest.
“So tell me then, why she betrayed me. Wasn’t that the point of this?” Mia asked curtly.
“Yes, it was. She turned. The Whispers must have gotten to her.” Leonara said simply. But seeing that once again, Mia didn’t understand a term that was as familiar as breathing air to the Angels caused her a pang of doubt. And doubt is something an Angel cannot afford to have. She quickly suppressed it, and went on. “A Whisper is one of them. A spy, essentially, whose whole purpose is to convince us to switch sides. To betray our secrets to them, and to join them in their crusade to dominate everything. One must have finally gotten to your mother, something about the pregnancy made her weaker, more susceptible to influence. We don’t blame you Mia, it was her weakness, not yours.
Because we could not know her thoughts, it was too late by the time we found out. She told only your father, of her plan. She trusted him - and her trust was well-placed. He did not reveal her betrayal. Not until we asked him directly. There is much importance in the Truth - and he didn’t want his only child murdered.
By the time we arrived at the church where she was to leave you, you had already been found. We assumed you were dead, it wasn’t until many years later we learned we were wrong, and that you were alive and being raised by humans.”
“But she left me at a church - she meant for me to be found.”
“Yes, she meant you to be found - found by the Whispers, who would have killed you, had a human not gotten to you first. She had to leave you somewhere where if, as turned out to be the case, a human came across you, it would not be so unusual to find a child abandoned. She left you somewhere safe with a note explaining herself, as countless desperate mothers do every day. She could not afford a search and so many questions associated with a baby found in an unusual location. I understand that churches are generally considered a ‘safe’ place for one to abandon their baby. They are usually found, and taken care of. The church was also on a busy road, where a woman walking alone would not be seen to be so unusual. No-one would remember seeing a woman walking down that road in the rain, no-one would remember seeing the Whisper sent to retrieve you. Everyone was hurrying to get out of the weather.”
So, even the one apparent act of mercy her birth mother had performed for her had turned out to be self-serving. To make it easy for them to find her. To kill her. Her adoptive parents had always been honest with her. She had known from the get go that she was adopted. Not biologically their child, but loved all the same. She had known she was found by the church. Her adoptive mother had always told her that leaving her there was an act of love. Leaving her somewhere she would be found and taken care of, sent to a loving family, because the mother who gave birth to her could not, for whatever reason, keep the child she clearly loved.
But it was all lies. A new burning sensation spread through Mia’s chest. One of anger, of hatred. She had never felt hatred before, and it shocked her to feel it now. Her parents had always raised her to be a loving, understanding and forgiving person. But how could she understand and forgive this? That her mother wanted her dead, and especially after they had tried so long to create a child like her? Breaking from her rage filled thoughts, before they consumed her, she looked at the woman before her, Leonara - the name rang through her mind, a familiarity to it beyond simply meeting her tonight. A deep recognition of the name on some level Mia could not yet fully access.
“So why then, did I have to die? If she wanted to switch sides, to betray us all, then why not leave it at that? Why did she want me dead?” she spat, hurt burning through her entire body, competing with anger to be the overwhelming emotion.
“They did not want you to live, Mia. They know that you can destroy them. They convinced your mother that you would do just that - destroy them all. And that that would be a terrible thing. And that it would, for their cause. They could not allow you to live, Mia. They, the misguided ones and the Whispers, they believe what they are doing is right Mia. They believe they can rule this world in a better way than we can, or the humans can. We, at first, did not seek to rule. But if that is what it is going to take to keep them from ruling, then we will do it. And unfortunately, as is the way with humans, power can only be won with battles - it is rarely handed over lightly.”
Mia considered this, and all that Leonara had told her. From what the Angel had told her, it seemed she was to be this weapon. One who was part-human, one who could not lie, who could not conceal her thoughts from them. In essence, a puppet, sent to do their bidding.
“So then,” she spoke the words aloud, although she knew there was no need to, the Angel had already heard them all “I am to be your puppet. I'm to go about fighting battles on your command. I am merely a tool of your war, with no choice or say in the matter.” She spoke bitterly now - this was her life, she was not just some casual tool to be used at their will.
That she had been born to be a tool, that her mother had decided the tool was no longer what she wanted had made the casual decision to destroy her, hurt, and the hurt led to anger and the anger to an incredible sense of power.
“No, Mia - that is not all true. It would not have been a decision made lightly. And of course you have a choice. You can say no to me here and now. You can send me away and I promise you I will never return unless I am called. But if you think I am the only one who knows you are alive now, then you are mistaken. If you think others will not come for you, then you are wrong. And if you think they are not, at this very moment, considering their next move on how to finish the job they failed fifteen years ago, then you are a fool. You must come with me, Mia, if you want to survive. And yes, there is a price for my protection. Whatever humans may think of Angels, we are not here solely to babysit them and keep the bad things away. We have our own jobs, our own lives, our own purpose. By taking you with me, I will be putting myself and those who fight with me at a great risk. They will come for you, and they will come fast and hard and with great force. So yes, I will ask of you that you play your part.”
It seemed to Mia that she was stuck between the proverbial rock and hard place. On the one hand, she could sit here and wait for them to come. On the other, she could go with this stranger and become a weapon, a fighter. Neither of those options seemed particularly appealing. Had it really only been a
few hours since she was at school, then home with her mother fussing over her getting ill? How does one get from that place to this one, in a heartbeat? It was all too much, and she was tired. She suddenly realized how tired she was, and yawned widely.
“You need to sleep?” asked Leonara.
“You don’t?” asked Mia quizzically, by way of a reply, as she finally let go of her chest to fluff her pillows. The Angel shook her head, and Mia sighed “look, I don’t mean to be rude but…I am human so…”
“Part-human. Really less than half” Leonara corrected.
“Fine. Well, the less-than-half of me that is human, needs sleep. I’m exhausted. I need to sleep. Could you come back tomorrow or something…?” it occurred to Mia then that since this was a dream - she had to keep reminding herself of that - this may well be the last time she saw the stranger. Tomorrow night, she may well be back at the tower with her mother. The thought of seeing that woman’s face again grated on Mia, she didn’t want to see her ever again. Not after what she had done. She was forgetting again, that none of this was any more real than her “visits” to the tower in her dreams.
Awakening (Children of Angels) Page 3