“Come on, lets try it again.” Leonara spoke in a soothing tone, like one might use when speaking to a small child.
“Fine,” replied Mia coldly. The hardness of her tone shocked her, she had not meant it to sound so angry. She took a breath and made a concentrated effort to sound more pleasant “lets try this again, shall we?”
“Now, as you’ve probably guessed, I’m going to go away again. But I’m not going to tell you when, and I don’t want you to peek this time. You should be able to feel that I’m gone. Even humans, when they’re attuned to their surroundings, know when they’re not alone, or when they’re being watched. You should feel it when I leave, or when you sense around for a sign of me, that there’s no-one else there. You’ll think about me while you do it, but as you’re thinking about me, I want you to shield your thoughts.
I know it sounds strange, but imagine there is a wall of steel and bricks, keeping those thoughts to yourself. I don’t want to hear my name from your mind, or feel your pull. I won’t be far away, but out of shouting distance to a human. The only way you could call me back is with your mind, and I don’t want to hear a peep from it.”
“Okay.” Mia replied, taking a deep breath, and focusing on making her mind blank, and thinking of only a blank canvas, to keep anything from popping into her head. A blank canvas. An image of a strange sunrise fading into nothingness popped into her mind, and she quickly pushed it away, focusing instead on pure black nothingness, like the night sky in the dream place. She was doing it again - thinking about something and not nothing. She breathed deeply, and imagined her head was full of nothing, not like the sky in the dream place, not like anything at all - just nothing.
She sat like that for a minute or two, and became increasingly tempted to take a peek. But Leonara had told her not to, and she did need to learn how to master these Angel skills of hers. For at least the hundredth time since she had first met Leonara, she felt completely ridiculous. Sitting cross-legged on a bed in a hotel room, with her eyes closed, trying to sense whether there was an Angel in the room with her or not.
“No good” came Leonara’s voice, and Mia jumped and opened her eyes as the silence was broken, and she was disturbed from her thoughts.
“But I didn’t even start yet” protested Mia.
“Well, clearly you did,” replied Leonara, matter of factly “or else I wouldn’t be here right now. Don’t worry - it’ll take a while to get it,” she softened “you must have been absent-mindedly thinking about me. I picked up on what would have been a weaker signal, because I was waiting for it, probably.”
Mia nodded, and sighed loudly. This was already harder than she had expected it to be. A month ago, if someone had told her she had Angel magic, she would have thought it would make her life so much better, so much easier. As it was, all it had done was take her away from her life, and leave her trying to learn impossible things in a hotel room God only knows where.
“Okay, lets go again. Brick and steel. Quiet thoughts.” She managed a small forced smile at Leonara, who smiled back with a much warmer and more genuine one.
Again, Mia closed her eyes, focused on her breathing, and kept her mind clear. She felt her mind drifting towards whether Leonara was still there or not, and caught herself, realizing quickly this was where it had gone wrong last time.
Now she focused on building a safety net in her mind, through which her thoughts could not escape. In her mind, she saw a physical wall being built, around a fine steel mesh, between layers of bricks. For what seemed like a long time, she built that wall in her mind, unsure of whether this was exactly what Leonara had in mind. Each time she felt her thoughts straying towards Leonara, she pulled them back in quickly and focused on the wall. Eventually, the wall was high and strong. She felt a little silly, and wondered if it was safe to test out whether Leonara was still there or not.
In her mind, she examined the wall for cracks and weak points. She tried to figure out whether it was tall enough to keep her thoughts contained. Well there was only one way to find out. Keeping part of her mind on the brick wall, she sent another part to focus on the room she was in. She listened carefully for any hint that she was not alone. The slightest movement, or the sound of the quietest breath. She heard nothing. She was not sure what Leonara had meant when she said she would feel her go. She didn't think Leonara was there, but couldn’t be certain.
And at that moment, the brick wall in her mind crumbled with such an intensity that she felt a physical pain. A migraine, out of nowhere, descended upon her. She opened her eyes, then instantly closed them again and her hands flew up to cover them, as the brightness in the room seemed to burn her eyes, making her already pounding head a hundred times worse. And then there were hands on her, cool hands, and a voice, a soothing voice but even so far too loud. And then there was only the darkness - again.
This time when she awoke, the room was dimly lit by the daylight shining through the thin curtains of the hotel room. Her head was still pounding, and the aching throughout her body had intensified again. She sat up shakily, even the dim light in the room hurting her eyes. Her mouth was dry, and she turned to the table beside the bed, grateful to find a fresh glass of water and the bottle of paracetamol waiting for her. She swallowed 2 pills, and half of the glass of water gratefully, then flopped back down onto the pillow. Aware, this time, that she was calling her, she allowed her thoughts to drift to Leonara, and what had happened before she had blacked out.
And then, of course, Leonara was there.
“Ah, you’re awake” she said softly.
“Sadly, yes” quipped Mia in response, and she covered her eyes with her hands again
“I think, before we try shielding again, I should teach you another very important skill, delicate one. And we’d better hope it’s one you’re good at” she joked.
Mia shifted her fingers to glare at Leonara through the gap in between them
“I tried,” she said stonily “and all I got for my trying was a tonne of bricks on my head.”
“I know,” soothed Leonara “I was joking. Too soon, huh?” She winked as Mia scowled. “Alright, you need to be upright for this,” she said, unceremoniously yanking Mia upright by her arm.
Mia groaned as her body obeyed the surprisingly strong Angel’s will over her own, which was telling her body to flop back down and sleep.
“I’m going to teach you something invaluable, Mia. Something humans would kill to know - how to heal yourself, from any injury. Almost any injury,” she corrected “the kind that you can’t be healed from…well, we just have to hope you never come up against those.”
She directed Mia to once again sit upright and cross legged on the bed, but this time to observe as Leonara demonstrated her healing ability. The Angel pulled a blade from one of the folds of her dress, and Mia’s eyes opened wide.
“Don’t worry Mia, I confiscated this earlier today - I am not in the habit of carrying a weapon. Angels have no need of weapons like these.”
She used the knife to cut her palm, and Mia watched in fascination as blood pooled on Leonara’s pale palm.
“Now, Mia, listen carefully. First, I focus my attention not on the area that is causing me a problem,” she held her hand up, as if it were necessary to emphasize that this was the ‘problem’ area “but rather, I focus on a vibrant and healthy part of my body.” She held up the other, unmarked palm. “Now, I’m going to draw energy from here” she raised the healthy palm again “and send it to here” she raised the cut palm, and Mia watched a drop of blood fall from it and onto the floor.
Leonara closed her eyes and a look of calm came over her face. She sat with her two palms facing upwards, and for a moment, nothing seemed to be happening. After a few moments of watching Leonara’s serene face and waiting for her to speak again, Mia returned her gaze to the up-facing palms. Mia’s eyes were playing tricks on her. The healthy palm seemed to be whiter than it was before, and looked as though someone was shining a light on it, so brigh
t was the skin there. Mia decided it was simply a trick of the eye, as she looked from the healthy palm to the cut one, where the blood was now making it almost impossible to see the skin beneath. It must have been that the skin on the unhurt palm just looked paler next to the gore of the injured one.
But as she watched, the brightness seemed to spread up Leonara’s arm, and began to spread across her chest. Mia blinked and shook her head, thinking it was simply that her eyes had gone strange because she had been staring for so long. But when she looked again, the fabric of Leonara’s dress across her chest seemed to glow gently with the luminescence from the skin beneath. Sure enough, the brightness worked its way slowly down her other arm, towards the injured palm. It glowed very brightly for a moment, and then the brightness disappeared altogether, and Leonara opened her eyes with a smile. She gave Mia a knowing wink, then stood up and walked to the bathroom, still holding her bloody palm upwards.
When she emerged a moment later, she was carrying a towel in her hand and without taking her gaze away from Mia’s face, she used the soft white hand towel to wipe away the blood from her palm with a smile. She held it up, facing Mia, who saw a completely undamaged palm, not a scar nor even a scratch showed the point where Leonara had cut herself. The only clue that anything had been wrong to begin with was the pinkish stains on her hand, and the blood on the towel.
“Now you try” she beamed, tossing the towel through the open bathroom door, where it landed on the floor with a barely audible thump. “You’ll have to go bit by bit, it’s a long process, and pretty power-draining. But it’s a pretty good place to start. If trying other stuff is going to keep wearing you out, and you’re still not over being Read, then you really need to know how to make yourself better. Close your eyes, and focus on my voice.” Her quiet authority once again compelled Mia to obey without question and she nodded, closing her eyes.
“Find, inside yourself, one part of your body that feels alive. I know all of you is alive, but focus, one part of you, at least, is not hurting right now. Is not tired, doesn’t want to give up and go to sleep, doesn’t ache. It’s just alive. And you need to find it.”
Mia did as she was told, and began considering each part of her body in turn, starting from her toes. There was a dull ache there, which continued all the way up her legs, through her hips, through her stomach and her lungs and her arms, her neck ached, and her head pounded ceaselessly.
“There’s nothing,” she said dully “it all hurts. Everything, all over.”
“Try harder - unless you are at the point of death, there is always a part of you that is vitally alive.”
She let out a huff of breath, then drew in a fresh one and held it whilst she focused again. This time, she decided to start from the top of her body and work her way down, focusing on each detail, rather than simply doing a sweep of the area.
Starting with her head, she considered her skin, her hair, her brain, eyes, nose, mouth, ears…all of them had pain in one form or another. When she thought about her head in general, it felt even worse, as though someone were poking at it. Hastily, she moved her attention further down, trying to visualize each of the vertebrae in her neck, each one of which she was convinced ached individually. With a stifled sigh, she moved onto her chest. As she considered each of her clavicles, then her ribs, she became aware somehow, of something stronger than them. Almost as though there was a light like the one that had healed Leonara, somewhere near to her ribs. Excitedly, she tried to figure out where the strength was coming from.
She began to focus on the power, that was what it felt like, raw untapped power. She moved towards her right arm, and felt the power dim. That helped, it was obviously closer to the left. She realized then what she had missed the last time she had done a sweep of her chest.
“My heart” she said, out loud.
“Nothing else?” Leonara asked, sounding doubtful.
“No” replied Mia, her eyes still shut, afraid she would lose that warmth she felt radiating from her heart, if she opened her eyes and let her concentration lapse. “There is nothing else. There’s only my heart.” And here, all along I’d thought my heart was broken since leaving home, she mused.
There was no reply, just silence in the room, and Mia felt her concentration slipping as she wondered why Leonara had not given her further instructions.
“Leonara?” she called, squeezing her eyes shut and struggling to retain her focus. She could feel her concentration slipping away, and with it, the warmth radiating from her heart seemed to be slipping away too. Not that she was getting colder, or that her heart was fading - just that she was less able to pick up on the power that was always there, undetected. It was as though everything was returning to normal “Leonara!” she called, louder, more urgently.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
“Alright, don’t panic,” came Leonara’s soft reply, after a brief silence.
“I’m just thinking that maybe we shouldn’t do this right now. We should let you heal naturally for a while, so that there’s somewhere else to work from - another part of your body, besides your heart. I think it might be too dangerous, to try with your heart. If you take too much power from there…”
She trailed off the sentence, but Mia didn’t really need her to finish it. It didn’t take a genius to figure it out what would happen if she drained all of the power from her heart.
“No,” she replied, with a conviction and confidence in her voice that surprised even her “we do this now. If something happens, and I need to heal, then they won’t wait until I’m feeling better, will they?”
“No,” replied Leonara slowly and carefully “but Mia…this…I won’t be able to fix this. If you die now…it’s all over. For all of us.”
The last tiny thread of concentration almost completely slipped away at that point, but frantically, Mia clutched at it in her mind, and managed to retain her focus on her heart.
“Tell me what to do, Leonara. I can do this. I can do this.” She spoke with such determination that Leonara felt herself swaying in her conviction. “Just tell me what I have to do.” Mia turned her attention back to finding that warmth, that light spot in her chest, and just barely kept a listen out for Leonara’s instructions.
Leonara took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. This was not at all what she had in mind, not for their first session. The girl couldn't even stop herself from practically screaming out to her with her mind with each passing thought of which she was a part. Would she be able to control this? Leonara was not convinced. The girl, however, seemed thoroughly convinced. And since it was the girl who had to do it, then the Angel supposed she ought to leave it up to the girl’s Truths to determine the outcome. She took another deep breath, and focused on ensuring her voice was as calm and confident as the girls own.
“Alright, do you have it, clear in your vision? The vision in your mind, that is? Your power source? Your heart? Do you see it?”
Mia nodded slowly, and yes, she could see it very clearly in her mind. It burned so brightly she could have sworn it was hurting her eyes, but that made no sense, as she wasn’t even using her eyes to look at it.
“Good. Now, tell me what it looks like.” Leonara spoke in soothing tones, trying not to sound like she was challenging the girl. She had to be sure that it was not the girl's imagination, and that she had actually found a power source. If she only thought she had, and attempted to draw power from her heart, without the proper control that can only come from seeing what you are doing, the results would inevitably be bad, and most likely fatal.
“It’s bright, and hot,” replied Mia simply “it’s hard to see the actual outline of my heart, it’s so bright, but if I look hard I can see it’s there, amongst all this brilliant white light. And the heat…I can’t believe I didn’t feel the heat before. I don’t usually feel it. It’s so strange to know it must always be there. I feel it now though. Burning hot. Warming right through me.”
The answer satisfied Leonara, who was all too fami
liar with how power was envisioned in an Angel’s body .
“You don’t usually feel it, because it is usually dormant within you. You only see and feel it now because you are looking for it. Waking it up, calling it, because you need it. When you are well, Mia, your whole body will be filled with power, power that you can call on whenever you need it.”
Mia processed this information, and was in awe of it. That this burning light would fill her entire body was incredible beyond belief. She had found it amazing and unbelievable enough to find just this, in her heart, where it had always been without her knowing. Now, hearing that her entire body would be filled with white light, she could scarcely imagine how incredible a feeling that must be. How…unstoppable she would be. And suddenly, any fears that she had disappeared, in that one instant. She had a new Truth. She was an Angel.
“Are you ready, Mia?” asked Leonara softly.
“I am.” She replied in a much milder tone than the Angel was used to hearing from her.
“Okay, now before you begin, you need to decide where to heal. Where do you want to heal first?”
“My head” replied Mia, without hesitation. Even now, when she was practically lost in a trance-like state, the pounding ache in her head was there, on the fringes of her consciousness, and she knew that once she stopped her focus exercise, the full migraine would return.
Awakening (Children of Angels) Page 10