A smile stole across his face. “I know. I don’t think that. I mean, yeah, I was kind of blown away by what you said, but I know you aren’t weird.” He swallowed hard and looked past her. “I’m sorry, Daphne. You were, like, the nicest person to me when I moved here, and then I treated you like a jerk.”
Daphne’s vision clouded. This was exactly what she’d wanted to hear from him. It almost felt unreal.
“I just … I was new and I wanted to be part of an in crowd. I never have been before. And here were guys like Walt and Todd wanting to hang with me. And here were girls like Lynette—” He broke off, eyeing her guiltily. “Anyway … I was stupid. I did stuff I don’t normally do.”
“Stuff like what?” she asked. She couldn’t help it. She had to know. For over a week she’d been tormenting herself, wondering how she could have been so wrong about him.
“Like messing around with Lynette,” Luke said to his shoes. “I don’t even like her. I mean, she’s cute and all, but she just came on to me and I didn’t know what to do. It was weird, but flattering. And I felt like it would be … I don’t know … impolite to turn her down.”
Something gripped Daphne on the inside, in the space between her heart and stomach. She instinctively raised the plastic shopping basket to her chest and cradled it in her arms.
“And you weren’t coming, or so I thought. And I wasn’t even sure if we were friends or … something more.” He closed his mouth and sighed heavily through his nose.
“But then I did show up,” she said. “And you went with me. Upstairs. After you’d already—”
“I know,” he said quickly, to cut her off. Even though she wasn’t going to say it aloud anyway. “I know,” he said again, more softly. “Like I said, I was stupid. I was just doing what I thought I was supposed to do. I was trying to act like them.”
“What do you mean ‘them’? You are them. You stood there with them, making fun of me!” Daphne’s voice cracked, just slightly, but she held on to her anger and managed to keep herself steady. No matter what, she was not going to cry.
Luke’s shoulders hunched guiltily. “I know. I just … chickened out. I was all mixed up because of what you said, and then there they were making fun of you. If I’d stood up to them they would have totally written me off.…” He paused as a lady came down the aisle, picked up a can of French-fried onions, and made her way around the corner. “Anyway, I’m sorry. Really. I’m all mixed up. It’s like I want to be part of that crowd and I don’t want to. It can be really fun, but sometimes … sometimes I don’t feel like I’m really one of them. Like I’m just too different.”
Daphne peered at him, measuring his expression and replaying his last few sentences in her mind. How strange that he should say all that—things she herself had felt for years. It was as if all this time she’d been looking at him from the bottom of a swimming pool, beholding him through the distorting effects of water. Only now she’d suddenly resurfaced. And she realized he wasn’t a perfect soul mate sent down from heaven to complete her. Nor was he an evil poser playboy. He was a real person, just like her. And maybe just as lost on the inside.
“You still hang out with them, though, right?” she asked. But of course he did. After all, that was what she’d done all through school—until recently. It was the safer choice. Once you’d been pulled into the orbit of the power group, it took too much effort to break out of it.
Luke nodded. “Yeah, I guess. But I don’t feel great about it. It’s not like any of them are my real friends. Or girlfriends.”
Again Daphne felt a clawing sensation in her midsection. What did he mean by that? Surely he’d realized that Lynette was done with him immediately after the party was over—if not sooner.
“Are you taking anyone to prom?” she asked. She couldn’t help herself. She was just too curious.
Luke’s features slackened. “You know,” he said, “that’s a great idea. We should go together. That would show the gang that we’re better than them.”
“Huh?” It took Daphne a moment to realize he’d misunderstood her. He’d assumed she was asking him to prom.
But of course he would. After all, she’d already professed her undying love to him.
“That would totally show those guys!” he went on, his eyes shining brighter than the nearby Gatorade sign. “If we show up arm in arm, all smiles, it would be like saying we don’t care what they say about us. Like all the stuff at the party never even happened.”
Never happened …
Daphne liked the sound of that. Maybe he was right. Maybe it could be a total do-over—a way to get her old carefree life back, a way to purge all the leftover hurt and embarrassment. She already had plans with Mule, but he would understand. In fact, he’d probably be relieved. The only reason he’d asked her was because he felt sorry for her.
Daphne gazed up at Luke’s smiling face. Her heart seemed to be teetering precariously, like a tipped vase. She had loved him so much, but then he’d hurt her so damn much. Now he wanted to get together. He’d even said he was sorry! Everything was working itself out, like a happy ending.
She was getting her fairy tale after all.
The phone rang and Gabby woke with a start, gasping and sweating.
She was lying on her mom’s bed, her open math book roofed heavily across her chest. Daylight streamed through the windows. She couldn’t remember when she’d gone from studying to sleeping, but she did remember the dream she had. In it, she had somehow shrunk to two or three inches tall. She was standing on the dining room table, waving her arms to get Mule’s attention, but he was too busy with Daphne to notice. The last thing she remembered was Mule carelessly tossing his calculus text onto the tabletop—the heavy blue-black cover crashing down on her head.…
Again the phone rang. Gabby sat up and rubbed her eyes, trying to remove all traces of the nightmare. Then she grabbed the extension off the nightstand. “Hello?” she said, yawning slightly.
“Gabby, honey? Is that you?”
“Hi, Mom.” Just hearing her mother’s voice made Gabby’s eyes water. Or maybe it was a residual effect of the dream. Whatever the reason, she suddenly wanted to be caught up in one of her mom’s tight hugs.
“How are things going?”
“Okay.”
“Did you hand in the scholarship application?”
“Yes. First thing Monday.”
“Good! And how’s Daphne?”
Gabby paused. “She’s fine.”
“You say that like you aren’t so sure. Is something wrong?” she asked, sounding worried. “The last couple of times I talked to her she sounded very distracted and sleepy. And now you do. Are you guys staying up really late?”
“No. It’s just … you know. She drives me crazy sometimes. Lately we’ve been kind of avoiding each other. But we’re dealing.”
“Can I talk to her?”
“She’s out. She’s busy running errands for prom.”
“Oh, that.” Her mom chuckled. “Please make sure she focuses on other things, too, will you? Like school and chores?”
“I’ll try.”
“So are you going?”
“Where to?”
“Prom!”
“No way,” Gabby said, laughing sharply. “What a waste of time and money. Besides, who would I go with? All the guys around here are lying lunkheads.”
“Don’t say that. What about Mule?”
Gabby swallowed. “Mule especially.”
“Did something happen between you two?”
Again a watery haze covered Gabby’s eyes. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Sweetheart …”
The soft lilt in her mother’s voice increased the tears to a steady trickle. Mom hadn’t used that gentle inflection with her in years. Part of Gabby wished her mom could be right there, holding her and rocking her and smoothing her hair with her hands, the way she used to. But another part of her was angry—angry at her mom for bringing up the latest in a who
le string of subjects she couldn’t bear to think about, and angry at herself for transforming into a weepy toddler who wanted her mommy.
“You were right all along,” Gabby managed to say as her throat constricted with emotion. “Guys suck! They all end up betraying you in some way.”
For a long moment, Gabby couldn’t hear anything, and she wondered if she’d somehow lost the phone connection. Then her mother let out a long breath that ended in a small moan. “Oh, dear, I’ve really been unfair, haven’t I?” she said. “I should never have said those things.”
“What are you talking about? You’ve told me the truth. You warned me about men, and you were right.”
“No. I wasn’t,” her mom said. “I was angry and scared. I needed a buddy and I used you. But that was a mistake.”
“What do you mean?” Gabby rose to her feet, her calculus textbook crashing to the floor with a huge thud. “It sounds like you’re saying it was wrong to be my friend.”
“It was.” Her mom’s voice broke. “Oh, sweetheart, I hate discussing this over the phone, but I’m worried about you. I’m worried that I’ve made you bitter. I messed up.”
“No! You didn’t do anything wrong. It was Dad. He’s the one who screwed things up. And he still is! I hate to tell you this, but he’s got a girlfriend, Mom. They’re living together.”
“Yes, I know. They’re pretty serious.”
“You … knew?” Gabby was now pacing the room, clutching the top of her head with her free hand. “How? How did you know?”
“He told me. Why do you think I’ve been such a mess? Why do you think the ice cream kept disappearing in the middle of the night? But it’s okay now. I’m dealing with it. And I feel so much better about myself now. Stronger. Men aren’t the problem, Gabby. You have to forgive them. You have to forgive your dad.”
“No! I don’t have to! How can you say that after what he did to you?”
“Do you think that would have been fair, your dad sticking around when he only halfway loved me? When I only halfway loved him?”
“Frankly, yes!” Gabby yelled, pumping her free arm in the air. “Yes, he should have stayed here. With us.”
“He deserves better. I deserve better. I don’t want that for you, sweetheart. I don’t want you to find someone who only halfway loves you.”
“Who says I need to find anyone?”
“We all need people. We need friends, family … but one day I want you to have someone special, too.”
Gabby dropped onto the edge of the bed. “What’s going on with you?” she mumbled. “Why are you talking like Daphne?”
“I’m talking like Daphne?” She chuckled slightly. “Oh, I don’t know. These past couple of weeks have made me understand some things better. It’s like I’ve reintroduced myself to myself. Does that even make sense?”
“No,” Gabby said.
Her mom laughed again, and Gabby refrained from slamming the phone against the floor until it burst into its component parts. “Look, I’ll be back soon. We can talk about this more then. In the meantime … please don’t be so hard on people—especially yourself. You can’t dwell on the past, Gabriella. I realize that more than ever now. You have to look forward. Live your life.”
Gabby didn’t say anything.
“See you in a few days, okay?” her mom said.
A few days. She could hold on. She owed it to her mom. “Okay,” Gabby mumbled, drying her cheeks with the back of her hand. “Bye.”
“Bye, sweetie.”
Gabby hung up the phone and flopped back against the mattress. Nothing made sense anymore. No one was acting the way they were supposed to.
Somehow her life had become the world’s hardest calculus problem. It made her feel small and lost and very much alone, like the two-inch-high Gabby in the dream … just waiting to get mashed.
“Gabby! Gabby, guess what?” Daphne ran into the house and set her grocery bags on the dining room table. The place looked empty, but she knew her sister had to be around somewhere. The car was outside.
She looked at the closed door of her mom’s bedroom, a big slab of oak with a fresh white paint job. It was so silent and immobile it seemed to be snubbing her. Of course it wasn’t, but the sister behind it could be.
Daphne crossed the room and rapped on it a few times. “Gab? Can I come in? I have some good news.”
She thought she heard a moan but she couldn’t be sure. “Just wait,” came Gabby’s muffled voice. “I’m busy.”
“Okay, okay.” Fine. Let Crabby be crabby. She had to call Mule anyway. Daphne pulled out her cell phone and selected his number.
“Hey, you,” he said, answering on the second ring. “Just in time. Listen to this.” She heard him set down the phone, followed by a distant jangle of guitar chords. “It’s the Beatles’ ‘Nowhere Man,’ ” he said when he got back on. “Or it will be, eventually.”
“That’s really great. So you’ll never guess what happened to me today!” She knew she was changing the subject too fast, but she couldn’t help it. She was too excited.
“What?”
“I ran into Luke at the store.”
“Really? Are you okay?”
She laughed. “I’m fine. Great, in fact. He actually said he was sorry for what he did to me.”
“That’s … Wow.”
“I know, right? And then—and this is even crazier—he asked me to prom!”
“You’re kidding me.”
“No! Well, it was a little more complicated than that, but he said he wanted to take me. Isn’t that wild?” Daphne twirled past the coffee table, letting her long hair fan out. “It’s like … magic or something. Now we can go back to where we were before this whole mess. It’ll almost be like nothing ever happened!”
There came a pause. “Wait a minute … you didn’t actually say yes, did you? Because that would be stupid.”
“What?” Daphne stopped whirling. “Don’t call me stupid.”
“I’m sorry but, how can you trust that guy?”
“He knows what he did was wrong and I forgive him. Because I love him.”
“You don’t love him. You just want him to love you.”
Daphne frowned down at the carpet, shaking her head over and over. She couldn’t believe this was happening. Why was Mule treating her like this? “Look, it was really nice of you to offer to help me out. Really. But you don’t need to worry about me anymore. Everything’s better now.”
“Is that what you think? That I just felt sorry for you?” Mule’s voice was angry-sounding—not exactly yelling, but sharp. “And what about you? Did you just think of me as some sort of guidance counselor? A long-lost brother?”
Daphne wasn’t sure what to say. Apparently she’d done something wrong, but she wasn’t sure what.
This was so unfair. All she’d wanted to do was spread her joy and thank Mule for being so nice. He should be happy for her. He should be proud of her for working things out, just like he’d been proud of her for going to school and doing well on the geometry quiz.
Forget it. Obviously Mule wasn’t as supportive as she’d thought he was. He might be smart about math, but not about love. And she was not going to let him ruin this amazing thing that happened.
“I’ve got to go,” she mumbled. “Bye.”
She hung up the phone and tossed it onto the couch just as Gabby emerged from the bedroom.
“What was that all about?” she asked. “Who were you just talking to?”
“Mule,” Daphne replied, dropping into the armchair.
Gabby raised her eyebrows. “What did he do?”
“He’s treating me like a baby, just like you and everyone else. I told him I was going to prom with Luke after all and he told me I was stupid.”
“You’re … what?” Gabby’s eyes grew wide. “You’re going to prom with Luke? Since when?”
“Since this afternoon.” Daphne grinned and bounced on the seat cushions. “Can you believe it? He said he was sorry and he wa
nts to be with me!”
“Oh, my god.”
“I know! I almost can’t believe it myself. It’s so … dreamlike.”
“You are such a spoiled, stupid brat!”
Daphne gaped at her sister. “Screw you!” she yelled, jumping to her feet. “Screw Mule! Screw everybody!” She pivoted around in one last, hair-lifting twirl and ran to her room, slamming the door behind her.
What was going on? Why was everyone dumping on her good mood? It was as if it were against the law to be happy around here. As if an evil sorceress had cursed the entire Rivera household, dooming them to everlasting misery.
Well, not Daphne. She didn’t care if the whole town, the whole world even, came and yelled at her. Her mom might have turned to stone and her dad might have been ensnared by a siren from San Antonio and her sister might be a wicked witch-in-training, but Daphne would escape. Somehow she would break the spell.
Gabby threw the Jetta into park and raced up the walkway to Mule’s house. Crossing the porch, she could see him through the window sitting on the couch, bent over the guitar he’d scored off of Craigslist last summer.
She knocked three times and then let herself in—just as she usually did.
“I heard what Daphne did to you,” she said.
Mule shrugged. “Yeah, well … whatcha gonna do?” he said in his lousy mobster voice. He looked down at his unplugged Stratocaster and plucked out a random series of notes.
Gabby stood in front of him, shaking her head. “I can’t believe you even asked her in the first place. I knew it was a bad idea the minute I heard it.”
“And why was it such a bad idea?”
“Aw, come on! It’s Daffy. I would have thought you had enough sense to see through her cutesy-poo charm. The girl is spoiled and selfish and stoned on her own daydreams.”
Mule held up his hand. “You know … you can stop. That’s enough from you.”
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