by Cat Carmine
“Sure. But they weren’t also sneaking up to the twenty-first floor together after.”
Fuck. “You saw that, did you?”
“I see all, Rori. You should know that.” She grins. “I want to know everything. I won’t make you recount all the details with him sitting right across from us, but trust me, as soon as I get back from Hawaii, we’re having a very long catch-up session.”
“Fine,” I say, sighing and laughing at the same time. There’s no point arguing with Celia — I know she’ll get it out of me eventually. “Now tell me what you guys have planned for Hawaii. I want to hear all about it.”
Celia’s face breaks into a grin and she launches into a long list of sight-seeing activities and spa treatments they have lined up for their time on the islands. I lose myself in her excited chatter and try to put my feelings for Wes far, far from my mind. Which isn’t exactly easy, given that he’s sitting right across from me and keeps flashing me devastatingly gorgeous grins every time he catches my eye.
We’ve finished eating and are finishing up our third round of coffees when there’s a commotion near the entrance of the restaurant. Trent and Luke, Jace’s brothers, stumble in wearing rumpled shirts and looking even more hungover than I feel. They make their way over to our table while Jace laughs.
“The princesses are finally up,” he jokes.
“Stop shouting,” Trent says, rubbing his eyes. We all laugh, which only makes him wince.
“You guys hit the scotch hard,” Jace chuckles.
“Oh yeah. We hit it real hard.” Luke runs his hand through his hair, which somehow seems to fall back in a way that looks perfectly disheveled. How the hell do guys do that?
“We’re going to grab some food to hopefully soak up some of the leftover alcohol in our stomachs,” Trent adds. “Can you ask the waitress to bring another pot of coffee if she comes over?”
“Make it two,” Luke groans.
As soon as they make their way over to the omelette station, Wes catches my eye.
“We should think about heading out soon,” he says.
“Oh,” I say, surprised. His mouth is in a firm line and there’s something serious in his expression that wasn’t there before. “Is everything okay?”
“Fine,” he says brusquely. “I just have a lot of work to get done today. I’d like to get back to the city before it gets too late.”
“Oh, okay. Sure.” I exchange a glance with Celia and she shrugs. I have no idea what’s going on with him either.
“We’re heading out soon anyway, and everyone else is already starting to roll out” she says, smoothing things over. “If you guys have to head back, that’s no problem at all.”
“Okay,” I say reluctantly. “Give me a hug, then.”
I say my goodbyes, and Wes shakes everyone’s hand. He’s polite and gracious but he keeps looking around the room nervously. I’m still wondering what the hell has gotten into him.
Five minutes later, we’re making our way to the door. Wes’s hand is on my lower back, and even though his touch feels gentle, I can’t shake the feeling that he’s trying to usher me out of there as fast as possible.
We step out of the restaurant and into the lobby. Wes lets out what almost sounds like a sigh of relief, when we hear someone running up behind us.
“Rori, Wes, hold up.” We turn around and find Trent standing there, still holding his empty plate from the buffet line. “Are you guys taking off already?”
“Yeah. Wes has to get back to the city. For work.”
Wes shifts his weight from one foot to the other. I can sense the tension that comes over him. I’m more confused than ever. Does he not like Trent? I hadn’t even seen them talking together last night, so I don’t see how he could have an opinion either way. And the guy is happily married, so it can’t be jealousy. Not that Wes has ever seemed the jealous type, anyway.
“Right, yeah, I’m sure you’re a busy man,” Trent says, scrubbing his face. “I should probably be getting some work done today too, but fuck it, it’s my brother’s wedding weekend, right?”
Wes smiles, but it’s strained. Trent seems oblivious. I look back and forth between them, completely flummoxed.
“Well, it was nice meeting you,” Wes says. His hand is back on my lower back and I can feel the no-longer-so-gentle prod as he pushes me towards the elevator bank.
“Likewise. Like I said, I’m definitely going to be in touch.”
“Sure.” Wes starts walking faster.
“Hey, Rori — put in a good word for me with your boyfriend, okay?”
I stop. Never mind the fact that he just referred to Wes as my boyfriend — why does he need me to put in a good word?
“About what?” I say, smiling. Still oblivious.
“The Elmwood Gables development project. They haven’t filled the flagship retail spot and I want it. So do whatever you have to do to butter him up for me. And I do mean whatever,” he adds with a wink.
“Sure.” My mind is turning a hundred miles an hour, and this time when Wes prods me, I follow him along wordlessly to the elevators.
The Elmwood Gables development project? Elmwood Gables is city land. It’s where the community center is, where Maria lives.
We ride the elevator in silence. My mind is still churning. Next to me, Wes is a live wire. I can practically feel him vibrating.
The elevator doors slide open on the twenty-first floor. Neither of us moves.
Thirty-Two
“Wes.” I start to say something else but my throat seems to close around the words. I swallow over the lump that’s forming there and force myself to speak. “What was Trent talking about? What Elmwood Gables development project?”
Wes doesn’t answer. He doesn’t look at me either. The elevator doors slowly slide closed again. The car jerks lightly and then starts to go back down.
“Wes.” I force myself to face him now. My heart is ricocheting against my ribcage, but I try to breathe through it. Maybe there’s an explanation for this. Wes has his hands in all kinds of projects. Maybe Trent was mistaken. Breathe. “Please, just tell me. What was Trent talking about?”
He shakes his head. His shoulders are slumped, almost as if he’s already resigned himself to something. That doesn’t exactly fill me with confidence.
“It’s just a project we’ve been considering.” He’s staring straight ahead now, at the mirrored wall in front of us.
“What does that mean, considering? What exactly are you planning to do at Elmwood Gables?”
Wes breathes slowly, his nostrils flaring. His jaw ticks. He meets my eye, finally, but only in the mirror.
“It’s a development project. Condos, retail space. It’s something we’ve been working on for awhile. It’s not official yet, though. The proposal hasn’t even been submitted.”
“But why would you even consider a project like that? It’s community housing. You’re just going to tear it down?”
“We’re not going to tear the whole thing down. Just … parts of it.”
“Which parts?”
He doesn’t answer. I put my hands on my hips.
“Which parts, Wes?”
“The community center,” he admits. “The garden. The park. A couple of the older buildings. The city wants to offload any of the land they don’t consider essential.”
My heart aches, and my hands fall away from my hips. I picture that beautiful garden, paved over and replaced with yet another glass tower. What a fucking depressing cliche.
“How could you do that?” I expect my voice to be filled with fury but all I can hear is an overwhelming sadness.
We reach the lobby floor and the elevator doors slide open but once again, neither Wes nor I move. There’s a group of people waiting to get on and even though I glare at them, they pile on anyway.
Wes and I stand in awkward silence while the car trundles up through the floors of the hotel, stopping every minute to let someone else off. Everyone seems to take their sweet time
, and it feels like forever before Wes and I are alone again.
“I’m sorry, Rori. I should have told you.”
He sounds apologetic, but my stomach is still twisting at the news. That beautiful space is so perfect. I can’t believe that Wes would tear it down like it was nothing. Every time I think he’s changed, something new comes along and knocks me back down.
“Did you know the community center is one of my clients?” I desperately want him to look me in the eye this time. I want him to know that those anonymous people who live at Elmwood aren’t the only ones he’s going to hurt.
I get my wish. Wes whips his head around to face me.
“What? What do you mean they’re your client?”
Once again the elevator glides open on the twenty-first floor, and once again, Wes and I don’t budge. Our eyes are locked in battle that I don’t even understand. In a minute the elevator doors slide closed again.
“What do you mean they’re your client?” Wes repeats, as if I hadn’t heard the question.
“Just that.” I cross my arms over my chest. “They hired me to help them promote the garden, to get more people using it. It’s a gem, Wes. Have you ever seen it?”
He shakes his head.
“Of course not.” I throw my hands up. “Why would you even care? It’s just about the money, right? Who cares if people need those spaces?”
“I do care, Rori,” he insists. “This all started long before you came into the picture. I had no idea you would end up being involved.”
“It’s not just me, though.” I’m so frustrated that angry tears are starting to prick my eyes. I can’t believe that Wes is so dense, so … heartless. “These are real people, Wes. At least one of your own employees lives there. Maria. Remember her? She volunteers at the community center too. You saw how she talked about it in that video …”
I trail off. Wes’s eyes flick up to meet mine, and understanding dawns.
“You knew.” My heart feels like it’s dropping as fast as the elevator. It hits rock bottom at the same moment we arrive back in the lobby and the elevator doors ping cheerfully open again. Another wave of people swarm on. I stab the button for the twenty-first floor, for the third time.
Now I’m so angry I can barely look at Wes as we slowly climb back up through the floors. I know this is a business decision for him. I know that this is what he does for a living. And I love that he’s ambitious and successful. But the Wes I used to know would never have even considered demolishing community resources like this. The Wes I knew cared about people.
The fact that he had let Kyla and I go on with our presentation, watching that video and knowing that in a few months Maria’s life would be completely upended — the thought fills my stomach with acid. Was he just laughing at us the whole time? I blink back the tears that threaten to fall. I can’t believe I was starting to trust him again.
“That’s why you didn’t like our presentation,” I hiss, once we’re alone in the elevator again. “Not because it was off-brand for GoldLake, but because you knew it would be bad PR to feature Maria in a video when you were about to rip up her home.”
“I told you we aren’t ripping up anyone’s homes,” he snaps. “But yes, you’re right. That’s why I couldn’t let you use that video. Even though it was really, really good. Seriously, Rori.”
“Oh, don’t try to kiss my ass now. I can’t believe you did this, Wes. I feel like you’ve been lying to me this entire time.”
My legs are shaking now and when the elevator opens up on our floor again, I storm out. Wes follows behind me. He seems to be moving slowly, as if he’s trudging through quicksand, but I have enough angry energy for both of us. I can’t look at his face though. If I do, I’m going to cry.
We make our way silently to the room. I try to slam the door behind us, but the stupid soft-close function means it just clicks softly into place. How unsatisfying.
“Rori, I’m so sorry,” Wes says. He scrubs his hands over his face. “Honestly. This whole things feels like it’s turned into a shit show. You were never supposed to get hurt by any of this. I had no idea you’d end up so personally involved with this place. We needed someone to help us get the hiring program off the ground, someone who could help us make it look like it was legit …”
“Like it was legit?” I whip around to face him again. My heart hammers out an anxious rhythm. “It’s not legit?”
“No, that came out wrong,” he says hastily. “It’s legit.”
“So why did you need me, exactly?” I ask the question out loud, but it’s more for me than for Wes. I’m pacing back and forth in the room now, even though there isn’t a ton of space. I push past Wes, trying to think through what he’s telling me.
Or not telling me, as the case may be.
“You needed the program to look legit,” I mutter to myself.
“It is legit,” he repeats.
“I’m not talking to you.” I bite the knuckle of my thumb. My brain is working on overdrive, but I feel like there’s still a thread I’m missing.
“Why’d you hire me?” I turn to face Wes now. He sits down on the bed, resting his hands on his knees. It’s the question I’ve been wondering since Wes reappeared in my life a few weeks ago. Celia was convinced that he was really back because of his feelings for me, and I realize that at some point along the way, I let myself start to believe her. That Wes sought me out for me. Because there was something unfinished between us.
“We needed you,” he says now. “To help us promote the hiring program.”
“I know, but why me?” I want to scream the words at him, but I force my voice to stay level. “You have your own in-house marketing team. You work with global PR firms. I work in a start-up over a laundromat. So why me, Wes? Why, after all this time, did you come looking for me?”
Wes looks broken, but he doesn’t look away this time.
“I’m so sorry, Rori. We hired you — initially — because you work with non-profits and it would look better for us if we had an authentic firm vouching for us. No one’s going to believe our own marketing on something like this, but we thought if we had a company like Marigold promoting the initiative, it wouldn’t look like it was just a PR move.”
And there it is. The thread I’m missing.
“The entire hiring initiative was a PR move, wasn’t it?”
Wes doesn’t answer. He doesn’t have to. The thoughts are clicking into place, and it’s like matching up the colors on a Rubik’s Cube. Except way less satisfying and more soul-shattering.
“It’s all been a lie,” I say weakly. My legs are so wobbly now that I have to sit down on the bed, but I choose the opposite corner from Wes. The whole width of the bed stretches out between us. “You’ve been using me this whole time. You needed some good PR and I was the perfect patsy. Just a little do-gooder you could manipulate into helping you look like a good guy. And I fell for it all. God, I even fell for that bullshit about your mother.”
“It hasn’t all been a lie,” Wes says quietly. “You have to believe that, Rori. The stuff about my mother was all true. And the way I felt for you — the way I feel for you — that’s not a lie either.” He reaches his hand out across the bed, but he’s too far to reach me and I refuse to reach my own hand out towards him.
“I can’t even look at you right now.” I fold my arms and turn towards the window. The sun is streaming in, bright and cheerful, oblivious to the fact that inside this hotel room, my heart is breaking all over again.
“Rori, you have to talk to me. ”
“We have nothing to talk about it.”
“I don’t agree. I’m not leaving here until we talk about this.”
“Fine. Don’t leave. I will.” I stand up and start shoving clothes into my suitcase, not even really paying attention to what I’m grabbing. I can text Emma, I think, or Blake, or my parents. I have to be anywhere but here right now.
Wes crosses the room towards me. He grabs my wrist suddenly. I’m dangli
ng a bra and I let it fall from my fingers.
“Let me go.”
“Not until you listen to me.”
“I have no interest in hearing anything you have to say.”
“Then maybe you’ll listen to this.”
He slides his hands through my hair and then his lips are on mine. For a second I forget myself. I forget everything that just happened in the last twenty minutes, forget the way my world feels like it’s crumbled down around me. That’s always what it’s like when Wes kisses me. It stops time. It erases places. It bends the fabric of reality.
I let myself go. Just for a minute. The sweet relief of oblivion. Wes’s lips on mine, his hands roughly knotting through my hair. The crush of my breasts against his chest.
Then I pull away. I pick up the bra off the floor and shove it into the suitcase, turning away from him.
“Rori,” he says again, but I’m already roughly zipping up the suitcase and shoving open the door.
Wes follows me down the hallway. He follows me into the elevator too, even though I try to jam the close button before he can sneak in. I turn away from him while we’re in there, although the mirrored walls mean I see him no matter which way I face. I focus on the display panel over the door as it ticks down the floors.
“Rori, please. You can’t imagine how terrible I feel about this. I honestly never meant for you to get hurt. I didn’t know that we’d get involved, that any of this would happen. I didn’t know that my feelings for you would be … I didn’t know that I’d fall in love with you.”
I suck in a breath but still refuse to meet his eyes, even in the reflective glass. He reaches out and puts his hand gently, hesitantly on my shoulder. In a moment of weakness, I tilt my head, resting my chin against his fingers. We stay like that for a minute.
“Rori,” he says again, but at that moment, the elevator doors sweep open. I take a deep breath and rush out into the crowded lobby, dragging my suitcase behind me.
I have no idea where I’m going or what I’m doing now that I’m down here. I can feel Wes following me, so I force my feet to keep moving.