Several unsettling minutes passed as silence filled the room. When Collin’s heavy breathing broke the stillness between them, she hesitantly looked up at him. Disappointment was written over his face now, his jaw was clenched and his lips thinned. He knelt in front of her, locking his gaze with hers once again.
“Tell me, please. Why have you blamed me all this time?”
Her heart twisted in agony. “Because I thought you were the one who sent Lord Kentwood. You had sent me the note to meet you at the cottage, but you weren’t there.” She inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly. “That’s why I was so upset. I blamed you for my miserable marriage, and yet...” She swallowed hard. “I now realize that it was all my fault for trying to trap you. I shouldn’t have done it, and I apologize. But I was afraid you’d leave and I’d never get to see you again.”
Gradually, his face relaxed and he cupped her face. “I didn’t write that note. When my cousin told me that he’d soon be marrying the baron’s daughter, it was as though my whole life crumbled before me. Kentwood tried to tell me that you were the one who’d lured him to the cottage, but it took me a few weeks to realize that you wouldn’t have done that. I knew you were falling in love with me.”
She sniffed back another sob. “All this time I’d thought you wrote the letter and sent him to ruin me.” She shook her head. “I feel like such a fool now. I, too, should have realized you would never have done that.”
A muscle in his jaw jumped. “If my cousin was alive right now... I’d kill him.”
His comment was so unexpected, that she laughed. The tightness in her chest relaxed. “Oh, believe me, I would have gotten to him first.” She expelled a deep breath. “I hate to admit that when I’d heard he’d drowned, I was very relieved. My life would have been so much worse if he had lived.”
Collin’s shoulders didn’t appear to be as stiff as they were a few moments ago. But he soon dropped his hand and stood. She quickly gained strength in her legs and rose.
“I hope you don’t mind, but I need to go lie down. I have so much on my mind right now that it’s hurting my head.”
Frowning, she nodded. “I expect that going from nothing on your mind to everything on your mind would be rather taxing.”
“Indeed, it is.”
She watched him turn and leave the room. Part of her wanted to run after him and help him up the stairs, but then she realized he might be upset with her right now. After all, she’d just confessed to wanting to trap him into marriage. What man in his right mind would not be upset? And... would he ever forgive her?
She finished drying her eyes before leaving the music room. She, too, had a lot to think about. For a year she’d been holding a grudge, only to discover it was all a misunderstanding. Suddenly, he had become the innocent in all of this, and she was the villain. How could she live with herself now?
TWELVE
The afternoon for Collin was going better than this morning. Doctor Hadley had paid Collin a visit and checked on his wound, reporting it was healing nicely. He was relieved to hear Collin’s report that his memory had fully returned. Unfortunately, it was his heart that needed repairing now.
No longer wanting to lie in bed, Collin sat on a heavily cushioned chair near the fireplace. As he stared at the small flames burning on the charcoaled log in the hearth, his mind repeated his conversation with Addie. He still didn’t know if he was more upset over his friend’s actions on that fateful day a year ago, or if it was because Addie had admitted to her plan of entrapment.
He moved his gaze to the book on his lap. In the hour that he’d been sitting here, he’d only read five paragraphs, but he couldn’t remember what he’d read. However, he needed time to think. He’d thought about finding Addie and asking her more about what happened that time at the cottage, but he feared he’d not like her answers.
The knock on the door jerked him out of his thoughts. “Who is it?” he asked, peering in that direction.
“Mrs. Pettingill, my lord. I’ve brought you some tea.”
“Come in.” He returned his gaze to the fire.
The housekeeper entered and carried the tea service on a tray and placed it on the small table next to him. She poured him a cup and handed it to him.
“Thank you,” he said.
“I must say, my lord, you are looking so much better this afternoon. I’m happy that the doctor removed that bandage around your head.”
“Yes. I’m happy, as well.”
She glanced at the hearth. “Would you like me to toss in another log?”
“Yes, that would be good, thank you.”
She moved to the hearth and placed another log on the fire before straightening. “Will you be needing anything else, my lord?”
“No, Mrs. Pettingill.”
As the housekeeper walked out of his room, Collin heard another voice in the hallway. He glanced toward the open door just as the butler stepped inside. Immediately, Collin recognized him as the driver Kentwood had hired when they were in Bath a year ago.
“My lord.” Simon bowed slightly. “I hope you’ll forgive my interruption.”
Collin nodded and motioned him inside. “It’s good to see you again, Simon. However, I’m surprised you work here.”
The man smiled wide. “I’m good friends with Lady Kentwood. I had worked for her family when she was younger, and she has appointed me her butler. Lately, I’ve made it my business to protect her. She’s had a hard life.”
“Yes, I understand, and I commend you for being such a loyal friend.”
Simon squared his shoulders and lifted his chin. “I wanted to introduce myself to you and see if there is anything you need. Pettingill tells me that you will be making this estate your home.”
Home? Pray, how could he stay here knowing that this was where Addie wanted to set up residence? He couldn’t displace her. This land and estate was now his. She was at his mercy until other provisions could be made, which he suspected she knew. Or...
Collin could marry her.
Suddenly, he was hit with a feeling he hadn’t expected. A familiar feeling that he’d experienced the night of the masked ball when he’d realized he was falling in love with Addie. Confusion filled him, especially when he’d just been stewing over the fact that she had wanted to trap him into marriage a year ago.
Closing his eyes, he rubbed his forehead. What am I thinking? And yet, his thoughts were clearer more now than they’d been since before losing his memory.
One year ago when Lloyd had told him about the marriage, Collin thought he’d die from the pain piercing through his heart. He’d traveled around the world after that, hoping to get her out of his mind and heart. It hadn’t happened. He’d even tried to fall in love again, but none of the women were Addie. He’d only wanted one woman – the one he couldn’t have. But now... what if he could have her?
“My lord?” Simon asked.
Collin looked at the butler, trying to remember what the man had asked him. “Um, yes. I’ll be staying here during my recovery. Once I’m fully healed, I don’t know what I’ll do.”
The man’s expression hardened and his eyes turned dark. In fact, the servant appeared very upset. Then again, Simon was friends with Addie’s family, so perhaps he was thinking he was protecting her from men like Collin. But the servant had no clue what misery Collin had suffered as well during this past year.
“Is that all, Simon? Or do you have more questions for me?”
“No, my lord. I... I just wanted you to know I’m here if you need me.”
“Thank you. I’ll remember that.”
The butler spun around toward the door, but he stood still with his hands flexed by his sides. His torso moved with the deepness of his breaths. In seconds, he squared his shoulders and turned back to face Collin.
“Forgive me, my lord.” He took a step closer. “But you must understand how much I care about Lady Kentwood and her family. I know how miserable she was when the wrong man showed up at the cottage and she
was forced to marry Lord Kentwood. I also know that one year ago when I worked for you and Lord Kentwood, that you were a womanizer.” Simon paused briefly. “I do not want to see her hurt again. Do you understand me?”
Narrowing his gaze on the servant, Collin slowly stood. He’d never had a servant talk to him in such a way, and he wasn’t going to allow this one to do it, whether he was Addie’s friend or not.
“Are you threatening me?” Collin asked.
The man lifted his chin slightly higher. “Once again, forgive me, my lord, but if you plan on hurting her again, then this is indeed a threat.”
Collin folded his arms across his chest and moved closer to the butler who stood his ground. “I don’t plan on hurting her. If you must know, I also care about Lady Kentwood.” He arched an eyebrow. “As I’m sure you well remember since you were the one who caught us together in the thicket of trees the night of her aunt’s masked ball.”
“I do remember, my lord, however, she does not feel that way about you any longer. I beg you, please leave her to live her life without the painful memory of you leaving her to wed your best friend.”
“Whether you want – or need – to know this, Simon, I also had painful memories this past year, so I understand Lady Kentwood completely. Not only did my so-call friend compromise Adeline, but Lloyd also tricked me. He was the one who’d sent the note, not I.”
“But... Lord Kentwood gave the note to me, stating that you wanted me to take it to her.”
“And we can add lying to the list of sins my cousin committed when he was alive. However, that’s all in the past. I’m telling you, I didn’t send it.”
“Either way, you broke her heart. You should leave this place and never see her again. That’s the only way she can be happy.”
“I think differently. In fact, I believe that the only way either of us will be able to put our painful memories to rest is for us to follow our hearts. She was falling in love with me back then just as I was coming to love her.”
“She will never have you,” Simon snapped. “Not now.”
Irritation rose inside of Collin, and although he felt like punching the insolent man in the face, the throbbing pain in his head told him to let the matter rest. Simon was only trying to defend Addie, which was what Collin would do if roles were reversed. So... did that mean Simon was in love with her, too?
The realization made him hitch a breath. Of course, the other man was in love with her. She was a sweet woman with the kindest heart, or at least she had been. Collin knew he’d be able to bring out her good traits once again if given a chance.
He rubbed his forehead. “Simon, I do understand how you feel, but rest assured, I don’t want to hurt her anymore. I want to repair the damage between us the best way I know how.”
Simon grumbled underneath his breath, spun back around, and rushed out of the door. Immediately, the man’s departure seemed very familiar. The color of his brown hair, and especially the bald spot on the back of his head. The dark blue of the butler’s uniform also seemed very memorable.
A memory flashed in Collin’s mind. He was hiding behind a tree as he watched Addie exit her carriage after he’d followed her when she came uninvited to his brother’s wedding. Someone hit him on the head with a thick tree branch. Before losing consciousness, he’d looked behind him and seen a man running away – a man who had a bald spot on the back of his head.
Collin growled and hurried after the butler. Anger fueled his every step whether his head was throbbing or not. He’d get to the bottom of this. Clearly, the servant was not happy that Collin was here, or that he was the new lord of this estate.
Stopping at the top of the stairs, he listened intently. Where had that man gone? Addie! Oh, course. The man would go straightway to the lady of the house and try to make her side with him instead of Collin.
He quickened his step and raced down the stairs. Floating through the air was her magical, heavenly voice. He followed the sound and it led him to the dining room. She stood talking to one of the kitchen maids. He stopped, not wanting to interrupt. When Addie looked his way, she paused in sentence. After a few silent moments, she turned to the maid and motioned her hand for the girl to leave. The maid curtsied and left.
“Forgive me,” he began. “I didn’t mean to interrupt, but I do have something very important to tell you – something that I just remembered.”
Slowly, she moved toward him, clasping her hands to her waist. “What have you remembered?”
He glanced up and down the hallway. “Where is your butler?”
“Simon?”
“Yes.”
She shrugged and stopped in front of Collin. “I don’t know. Why do you ask?”
He moved closer and lowered his voice. “He was the one who whacked me over the head with the branch.”
She gasped. “Impossible!”
He took her hand, led her into the parlor, and closed the door. “Tell me, who on the estate wears a dark blue suit for his uniform and has a bald spot on the back of his head?”
Color left her face. “Simon is the only one.”
“Right after I was hit in the head and before I blacked out, I saw a man hurrying away from me with the description I just gave you.”
She shook her head. “But why would he do that? It’s not like he didn’t know who you were. And he would have told me that he ensnared an intruder on my lands.”
“I’m certain he knew I was not an intruder. I suspect he doesn’t want me around because he’s in love with you.”
She stared at him in stunned silence, but then seconds later, she chuckled. “Don’t be ridiculous. Simon is not in love with me. I’m sure he loves me, but only as a little sister.”
“If he loves you like family, why is he being so obsessive over you? I understand completely about loyal servants, but Simon has gone beyond what a servant would do for his employer.”
Sadness covered her face. “I still don’t believe he’s in love with me,” she said softly. “I’ve been a widow for a year, and not once has he shown more affection than necessary. One would think that if Simon loved me in that manner, he would have made some kind of overture.”
Sighing, Collin ran his hand across his hair, gently touching the spot on his head that was still tender. “Maybe he was following the rules of mourning.” He shrugged. “I cannot say, but I spoke to him up in my room not too long ago, and I received the distinct impression that he had strong feelings for you.”
Tears slowly filled her eyes and she turned and walked toward the window. She parted the curtains.
Collin’s chest clenched. She appeared so sad even now. Wouldn’t this kind of information make her upset? And yet...
He sucked in a quick breath. Had he misunderstood her this whole time? Could she possibly be in love with Simon, instead?
A pain like none other pierced through Collin’s chest, making it difficult to breathe. The tightness in his throat made it strenuous to even swallow. He prayed he wasn’t right. But deep down in his heart, he knew the love they had once shared was gone.
THIRTEEN
Simon loves me?
Adeline’s mind cleared and she recalled all the kindness Simon had shown her over the years, especially since she’d taken him on as her butler. It seemed impossible, and yet... perhaps Collin was correct. Why hadn’t she wondered about the special gleam in Simon’s eyes when he spoke with her? Or the gentle way he’d touch her arm or hand while he was comforting her?
And yet, none of that explained why he would purposely hit Collin in the head so hard. A blow like that could have killed Collin. Never in her life had she known Simon to have a mean bone in his body. Yet, he did. What had changed the man she’d loved like an older brother? And could she get him to admit that he had been the one to strike Collin with the branch? Yet, it was Simon’s excuse that made her more worried. Was he the terrible man Collin feared him to be?
Through the reflection on the window’s glass, she noticed Collin walking
closer to her. She still didn’t know if he still hated her for wanting to trap him into marriage or not. But she couldn’t bear seeing the look of rejection in those eyes she had once become lost in.
“Forgive me,” he said in a low voice. “I have realized I’m out of place for saying this, but... do you perhaps share Simon’s feelings?”
Gasping, she spun toward him. His face was filled with grief as he stared at her. “Share Simon’s feelings? Do you honestly believe that, Collin?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know what to believe anymore. Many things have changed between us in one year, so who is to say you haven’t fallen in love with Simon?”
She stepped toward him. “Has this past year changed your life?”
“Indeed. Not only did your life get ruined, but mine as well. For the first time in my life, I fell in love with a woman, only to have her marry my best friend. I’d been so in love with you, Addie, that I would have done anything to win your heart.”
She stared at him in silence as hope swelled in her chest. “You already had my heart, Collin. That’s what made everything so awful when my father forced me to marry your friend. And that’s why on my wedding day, I prayed you would come stop me from entering into a loveless marriage.”
A sparkle lit his hazel eyes and he moved closer, taking her hands in his. “Oh, Addie, my sweet. Why were we forced to live without each other this past year, we’ll never know. But I want to move forward with our lives and make things better. I want...”
During his pause, her heartbeat raced. She didn’t dare add words to finish his sentence, but she hoped they’d be the words she’d waited so long to hear. “You want...” she encouraged.
He lifted her hands to his mouth and kissed her knuckles. “My dearest Addie, you would make me a very happy man if you agree—”
Suddenly, the door flew open and smacked against the wall. Both Adeline and Collin jumped. Simon stood at the open doorway holding a pistol, pointing it at Collin.
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