He shook his head. “You don’t want—”
“Just once,” she interrupted. “Just tonight. I know we aren’t right for each other anymore, but I think we deserve one night together. For what we used to have. For what we missed. Tomorrow you can be Cash the gunslinger again.” Her eyes filled with tears that didn’t fall. “But tonight I want my Danny back,” she whispered hoarsely. “One night is not too much to ask for, is it?”
He didn’t think he could be her Danny again, didn’t think he could even pretend.
But when she laid her mouth over his, he wanted nothing more than to try to give her everything she wanted.
* * *
Cash unbuttoned her blouse, taking his time, lingering over every button as if it were somehow important. He kept his eyes on the task, and trailed his fingers over the flesh beneath her blouse after every successful unfastening. The touch of those fingers, in an almost innocent way, made her heart beat too fast.
What had she been thinking, to ask him to make love to her? It was unlike her to be so bold.
But she wanted more of the kissing, and she wanted to feel his body against hers. She didn’t understand why she wanted this so much, but she did. Knowing that he had come home for her, that he had seen her on her wedding day, softened her heart for him. She tried to imagine what it had been like for him to come home and find her married, and she couldn’t.
And like it or not, she did love him. She loved the boy he had been and the man he had become. She loved him because he was the father of her child and because no matter how hard he tried not to care, he couldn’t quite pull it off.
His hands found and released the buttons at the side of her skirt, and the plain garment dropped to the floor and pooled at her feet.
He would lay her on the bed now. Lift her petticoat and pull down her drawers and push inside her. It had been so long since a man had touched her. Cash thought it had been nine years, since Joseph’s death, but in truth it had been longer than that. In the last year of his life, Joseph hadn’t bothered to come to her bed.
She didn’t expect pain like she’d experienced the first time, but it had been more than ten years since a man had touched her. That alone was enough to make her question her decision to ask Cash to make love to her.
It didn’t matter. She wanted the kissing first; that was what she craved so much she hurt. She took Cash’s face in her hands and laid her mouth over his, parting her lips, flicking her tongue into his mouth and reveling in the unexpected sensation of heat pooling deep inside her.
While she kissed Cash he kissed her back and deftly untied the ribbons of her chemise. Her heart kicked once as he peeled the loosened fabric away from her breasts. No one had ever seen her completely bare, and it wasn’t necessary that she discard all her clothes, not for what they were going to do.
She trembled as he loosened the tapes of her petticoat and it fell to the floor. Apparently he planned to completely undress her. Completely. She wasn’t sure it was such a good idea. She was a mother, a grown woman. Cash was sure to see all her imperfections.
Soon she wore nothing but the chemise. When Cash took the linen in his hands and bunched it in his fist, intending to lift the undergarment over her head, she placed her hands over his.
“Is it really necessary that I take off... everything?”
Already his eyes were heavily lidded, dark with desire. “Necessary? No.” He did not try to pull the material out of her hands. “Desired?” he whispered. “Yes.” He laid his mouth on her shoulder and sucked lightly at her flesh. “Trust me, Nadine. Just for tonight.”
After a moment’s hesitation, she dropped her hands and Cash pulled the chemise over her head. With a flick of his wrist, he tossed it to the floor.
A moment ago she had been worried, but Cash didn’t look at her as if he saw any imperfections. He cupped one breast with a tender hand, and placed his other hand on her hip, where it rested, warm and possessive.
“ You are so beautiful,” he whispered. “So beautiful, it hurts to look at you.”
She closed her eyes as he flicked his thumb over her nipple. Heavens, the sensation shot right through her. When he dipped his head and took that nipple in his mouth, she sucked in her breath and grabbed his head, surprised, and shocked, and... delighted. Good heavens, she felt the tug of his mouth all through her body.
He lifted her from the floor and carried her to the bed, where he deposited her gently. Nadine took a deep breath and held it, waiting anxiously for what would come next. Oh, she hoped he would hold her afterward, like he had more than fourteen years ago. He might not whisper that he loved her, he might not whisper promises he would not be able to keep, but she did want him to cradle her in his arms.
“You can douse the light,” she whispered.
He smiled down at her. “And miss the sight of you lying there, naked and open? No.” He drifted down to join her on the bed, still fully clothed.
Nadine closed her eyes. She had said she could trust him, just for tonight. And she would. No matter what, she would trust him completely.
His mouth covered hers and he kissed her deep. So deep she felt like he reached inside her with that kiss.
She slipped her hands beneath his jacket and pushed it off, her movements slow, as if she moved through molasses. Her fingers found and unfastened the buttons of his ruffled shirt, thinking it only fair that she get to see him if he was going to look at her so hungrily.
When the shirt was unfastened, he assisted her in her efforts, pulling the garment over his head and tossing it aside, then laying atop her with his chest pressing against hers. Oh, it was such a warm, tender feeling, intimate and heartbreakingly wonderful, to have him so close.
She could lie like this all night, Cash kissing her, his body against hers.
He moved his mouth to her breasts again, kissing one and then the other, taking a nipple deep into his mouth while he caressed another still damp from his attentions. She had never felt anything like this, had never expected that such a sensation was possible. She felt Cash everywhere. Touching her, above her, inside her in ribbons of raw pleasure that made her quiver to her bones.
And she ached. An unexpected throbbing between her thighs beat in time with her heart.
Cash’s palm slipped over her ribs, down to her hip, and between her legs. He spread her thighs and ran that palm up from her knees to caress the tender skin of her inner thigh. A new tremble shimmered through her body, making her shake.
When he touched her intimately she sucked in her breath and twitched before settling easily into his embrace. He stroked her, and she felt herself grow wet. He caressed her in rhythm with the movement of his mouth against her breast, and she let her thighs fall farther apart.
She had not expected it, but she wanted him inside her. Now. He was what she ached for, he was the reason for the increasingly insistent throb that made everything else in the world unimportant. She was losing control, she, who had never lost control before.
Cash lowered his head, kissing her stomach, her belly button, the sensitive skin beneath. He placed himself between her thighs and laid his mouth on her.
“What... what on earth...”
“Shhhh,” he said, taking his mouth from her, flicking his tongue over her in a way she had not imagined possible. “Relax.”
Relax? Was he insane? Nadine gripped the sheet as Cash made love to her with his mouth. He was relentless, and she found herself rocking against him, shuddering deep, losing herself a little more with every flutter of his tongue. It felt... wonderful and torturous at the same time. A powerful need forced a low moan from her throat, and a moment later she cried out loud as an intense pleasure washed through her, like a flash of lightning on a stormy summer night.
When the lightning faded, she melted into the bed. Shuddering still, but with boneless satisfaction this time.
Cash left the bed slowly, and she reached out to touch his arm. She didn’t want him to go. She wanted him there beside her.
“I never... felt anything like that before,” she said breathlessly.
He smiled down at her, and for an instant he was Danny again.
“Don’t go,” she whispered.
“I’m not going anywhere.” He unfastened his trousers and kicked off his boots. “Hell, darling, we’re not finished. We’ve just gotten started.”
* * *
Cash crawled into the bed, raking his body along Nadine’s as he aligned himself above her. Never in his life had he experienced anything as tender as this. Never in his life had he felt like he was a real part of another person. Not just with his body, but with something so deep he couldn’t give it a name.
Nadine wrapped her arms around him, and he buried his head against her neck, trailing soft kisses there. She smelled so good, all heat and woman.
All heat and all woman. She had a shape any woman would kill for, with rounded breasts and hips and a tiny waist to accentuate those attributes. Everything about her, from her soft, husky voice to the way she lifted her hand, was feminine in a way that might call to a man.
If tonight was all they had, he wanted it to be special. He wanted to stay up all night, loving her. He wanted to watch her come apart beneath him by lamplight, and moonlight, and morning’s sun.
He rested between her spread legs, ready to bury himself inside her, and yet he hesitated. He kissed her deep and cupped her breasts, fine breasts creamy pale with delicate blue veins just beneath the sensitive flesh. He kissed the veins, the pebbled nipple, the valley between her breasts.
Her hips rocked, bringing her wet entrance closer to his erection, as if she couldn’t wait to have him inside her. Her breath caught in her throat, a soft quiver shot through her, and he felt it. Her eyes drifted closed, and the sound that broke from her throat was enough to make any man lose control.
But Cash didn’t lose control. Not ever.
Her head tilted back, her hair spilled across the pillow. “I never knew I could feel like this,” she whispered. “I never knew I could... want this way.”
He guided himself to her, pushed inside, and she arched against him. He pushed deep and she gasped, throwing back her head and wrapping her legs around his.
“Open your eyes,” he demanded softly.
She complied, laying hungry, heavy-lidded eyes on his face, licking her lips as he stroked her long and slow and deep. He sheathed himself inside her, got so lost in the sensations of loving her that he forgot who he was. Where he was. When he was.
He moved faster, filling her with every thrust. When she closed her eyes again he didn’t demand that she open them. He watched her face, savored the wonder there as her desire grew.
“Oh, Danny,” she whispered.
He didn’t correct her.
Her hips rocked against him and she cried out, emitting a husky sound that spoke of sex and surrender. Her inner muscles contracted around him, and Nadine, his beautiful, magnificent Nadine, shuddered and held on tight as the waves of her release cracked through her. His own completion came on the soft ebb of her own. He buried himself deep as with a powerful, shattering surge he emptied himself inside her.
They lay there for a while, trembling together, surprised by the power of their encounter. Unable to breathe properly.
Cash rose up to look down at Nadine, and she gave him a tender, easy smile. “Oh, my,” she said softly.
Nadine might have been another man’s wife, but she was the mother of his child and she was his woman.
For tonight.
* * *
The room was completely dark when she opened her eyes, but she suffered not a single second of disorientation. Her breasts pressed against Danny’s back, her bare leg was caught between his.
With a tender hand she touched the scar low on his side, the ugliest of all his scars. And he had a few. A puckered flaw marred the perfection of his thigh, a long, thin mark on his back had been barely visible by lamplight. Other smaller scars marked his body here and there. They were all reminders that he’d lived a hard life.
Her heart broke for the man who lay beside her, but she didn’t know if her soul cried for the Danny she had loved or the Cash he had become. Did it really matter? No one should be hurt and scarred this way. She wanted to go back, change things, heal these wounds before they ever hurt him.
But that was impossible, so she closed her eyes and thought of the here and now. She thought of the dilemma that had brought her here, and the man she had found.
She still could not believe what had happened to her tonight, the way this man had made her feel. His hands, his mouth, his body joined to hers and the incredible pleasure that followed. Just thinking about it made her ready again, made her ache for him.
Her arm encircled his waist, and she rested the flat of her hand low on his belly. Her fingers rocked as she laid her lips against his spine.
“Danny?” she whispered. “Are you awake?”
He rolled to face her and took her in his arms.
* * *
Morning light lit the room, and that meant he needed to go. Last night had been great, but it had been only one night. That had been her offer. One night to make up for everything they’d missed.
But one night was not nearly enough to make up for what they’d missed. If he’d had any doubts about that, spending the night loving Nadine had wiped them away.
Sufficient or not, one night was all they had.
He looked at her and got hard again. He touched her, and knew it was too soon to leave. She opened her eyes and smiled at him, and he surrendered.
He made love to her, slow and easy. He took his time, because he did not want this to end. Heaven help him, he could stay inside her forever; he could stay in this bed for the rest of his life and never miss anything outside this room.
Nadine made love with artless abandon, surprised by the pleasure they gave each other. Hungry for more. There was nothing so arousing as the expression on her face as he touched her. Nothing so erotic as the way she touched him with curious fingers.
They climaxed together, and Nadine cried out hoarsely. She clasped him tight, held him close, and when he lowered his head to rest it on her shoulder, she placed her hand in his hair and sighed deeply.
“I love you, Danny,” she whispered. “I never stopped loving you.”
He closed his eyes and wished with all his heart that she hadn’t said that. Nadine couldn’t possibly love him. She couldn’t expect that they had anything beyond this room.
He kissed her neck and raised his mouth to her ear. “Cash,” he reminded her. After all, the night was over.
Chapter 9
“It’s all right, Jed,” Hannah said in a soothing voice. “You go downstairs and have a big lunch, visit with Eden and the kids, and I’ll be just fine.” She gave her large and very worried husband a big smile from the bed where she sat with her back against the headboard.
Nadine watched the big man back toward the open door, uneasy about leaving his wife for even a few minutes. “Call if you need anything,” he said as he stepped into the hallway.
“I will,” Hannah promised.
Nadine closed the door and breathed a sigh of relief. Jed Rourke hovering over her while she examined her patient was a little unnerving.
“How are you feeling?” she asked with a soft smile.
“I’m tired of staying in bed,” Hannah confessed without any real frustration, “but of course I’m willing to do anything for my baby.”
“Or babies,” Nadine corrected Hannah with a lift of her eyebrows.
Hannah sighed as she moved carefully and slowly into a horizontal position. “Do you really think it’s possible I’m having twins?” She sounded a little distressed by the prospect.
Nadine laid her hands over Hannah’s huge stomach, closing her eyes as she gently explored. “Very possible.”
“I have been so looking forward to being a mother,” Hannah said, “to holding a child that Jed and I created. I didn’t even know how much I w
anted a baby until I found out I was going to have one, and then... I was ecstatic and so was Jed. But two! How will I manage with two babies?”
“I have a feeling you’ll manage just fine.”
The babies would be small, if there were indeed two of them. Twins always were. She could only hope they would not be too small.
The first time Danny... Cash, she corrected herself caustically, since he insisted... had made love to her, they’d created JD. What if last night had left her carrying his child again? If it happened, it happened. She wouldn’t be sorry, no matter how scandalous it would be. She had survived scandal before.
She ached in ways she had never ached before but didn’t mind the reminder of the times he’d been inside her. It had been more wonderful than she’d imagined possible. More exciting and pleasurable and important than anything she could have imagined. She’d never known lying with a man could be like that, powerful and beautiful.
One night, they’d said. Would Cash still be satisfied with that single night now that he knew what they were like together? She hoped not. She could not imagine seeing Cash and not touching him, wanting Cash and not having him. Oh, this craving was so unlike her!
“Is everything all right?” Hannah asked.
Nadine gave the woman a wide smile. “You’re healthy and you’re strong. I’m confident that you’re going to do very well.”
“I hope so. Jed is just beside himself. He’s so worried that... something will happen. He hasn’t actually told me he’s concerned about the delivery, but I know him too well. He can’t hide anything from me.”
Nadine couldn’t deny that childbirth was dangerous, that every woman who bore a child put her life at risk. But most deliveries were uneventful, and even those that weren’t usually worked out fine.
“I’m so grateful that you’ll be here when I deliver,” Hannah confided in a low voice. “Eden and Mary are quite capable, but... if something goes wrong, it will be nice to have a doctor present.”
“Nothing will go wrong,” Nadine assured her patient.
Cash (The Rock Creek Six Book 6) Page 10