“Is everybody all right?” he snapped.
Eden smiled. It was an exhausted smile, but an Eden grin all the same. “Yes, everyone’s fine.”
“God, this place is quiet,” Cash said, running a hand through his hair. “Doesn’t seem natural.”
“I know what you mean,” Sullivan said. Eden sat on the couch and Sullivan lowered himself to sit beside her. “It was such a long day, we farmed all the kids but Alex out for the night.”
Eden laid her head on Sullivan’s shoulder, and Alex managed to cuddle with both parents. “Fiona is spending the night with Georgie, and the boys, including JD, are all staying with Nate and Jo and baby Angelo. Millie is sleeping over with Carrie, so everyone’s happy.”
Cash leaned against the front desk. Most of the day he’d paced the hallway unarmed, but before he’d come downstairs he’d strapped on his guns. He never went far without them. Sheriff Sullivan was unarmed at the moment, he noticed.
There had been a time when Sinclair Sullivan had been a loner, an outcast even more so than Cash. Half Comanche, half Irish, he hadn’t fit in anywhere, except with the other five of the men who had fought together in the war and then banded together again to become what some called the Rock Creek Six.
Eden had changed that, and now Sullivan was a family man. A sheriff. He seemed... content. Cash shook his head. Hadn’t he warned Sullivan, years earlier, to steer clear of Eden Rourke? Good thing he had ignored that advice. God, they looked so perfect, husband and wife and child. Something he would never know. Something he had missed.
Eden lifted sleepy eyes to him, head on Sullivan’s shoulder, baby rubbing his nose against her shoulder. “Is she here because of you?” she whispered.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Cash said coolly.
“Nadine,” Eden said with a knowing smile, not at all fooled. “Is she here because of you?”
Cash fidgeted. “Yes,” he finally answered. “I suppose she is.”
“Then, thank you. I never could’ve done what she did today. The babies, Hannah’s difficulties...” Eden shuddered, and Sullivan tightened his arm around her. “We could have lost them all. Nadine saved four lives today, and if she hadn’t been here...” Tears sprang to Eden’s blue eyes.
“Make her stay,” Sullivan, a man of few words, said. “We need her here.”
Of course they needed Nadine here. And Nadine needed them; he saw that too clearly. But if she stayed, he would have to go and not come back. Not ever.
“I’ll try.”
Sullivan smiled widely. “Eden’s pregnant again.”
Cash lifted his eyebrows. “Really?”
“We haven’t told anyone yet,” Eden confided in a low voice. “It took me so long to get pregnant with Alex after Fiona was born, I wondered if I’d ever have another baby.”
“Are you happy?”
Her smile told it all. “Of course.”
Of course.
Sullivan’s face sobered. “I want Nadine here when Eden delivers.”
Like Jed, Sullivan worried for his wife. That’s all a family was, Cash thought sullenly. More people to worry about. Heartache waiting to happen. He didn’t need that. Hell, no one needed that kind of obligation. That kind of incessant dread.
But it was too late for him. Marriage or no marriage, Nadine and JD were his. He would worry about them until the day he died; he just wouldn’t be around to watch life happen to them. He wouldn’t know when they were sick, or hurt, or sad. Would it hurt less that way? Or would it hurt all the goddamned time?
“Cash?” His head popped up when Nadine spoke his name. She stood on the stairway, so exhausted she looked like she needed someone to hold her up. Him, he thought glumly, she needed him to hold her up. “Come to bed.”
She asked right in front of Sullivan and Eden. After what she’d been through today, she was probably delirious. So much for discretion.
“I don’t know what you’re—”
“I’m too tired to pretend right now,” she whispered. “I just need to sleep. I won’t sleep at all if you’re not there.”
Hell, Eden and Sullivan knew, Jed knew. Every one of the handful of men Cash called friend—and their nosy wives—knew that Nadine Ellington had no sense at all where men were concerned. If she did, she never would have taken up with him.
Giving in, he pushed away from the front counter and walked to the stairway. “Good night,” he called softly, his eyes on Nadine.
“ ‘Night,” Eden said sleepily. “Pancakes for breakfast.”
“Great,” Cash said as he placed his arm around Nadine and they took the last few steps together.
Chapter 12
Nadine rolled over and snuggled more securely in Cash’s arms. Goodness, it felt good here, warm and right. She opened one eye, surprised to see that the room was flooded with sunlight. It was surely mid-morning. She never slept this long!
She lifted her head to find Cash watching her with a soft smile on his face. “You’ve been awake awhile,” she whispered.
“Yes, I have.”
“Why didn’t you get up and go down for Eden’s pancakes?”
“I’d rather watch you.”
They’d dropped into bed exhausted last night. She’d surely fallen asleep the moment her head hit the pillow. With Cash beside her, she slept so well.
His expression grew serious, his eyes dark. “You amaze me,” he whispered.
“How?”
“In more ways than I expected,” he admitted. “You saved four lives yesterday. Everyone else was in a panic, and you knew what to do. Because of you those babies and Hannah are alive today.” He placed a brief kiss on her forehead. “No, you saved five lives. Jed wouldn’t be worth a nickel without Hannah.”
“I kinda sensed that,” she whispered, snuggling tighter against Cash’s chest.
His hands rocked at her back, and he sighed long and low. “You should stay,” he said softly.
Nadine closed her eyes and smiled widely. Oh, she had so hoped for this. She hadn’t expected that he would come around so soon, but she could only be glad. “I would love to stay here.”
“The town needs you,” he said.
Nadine lifted her head. Her unbound hair fell over Cash’s chest, and he grabbed a strand to finger. “What about you?” she said softly. “Do you need me?”
Brave, he pinned his eyes to hers. “Daniel Cash doesn’t need anyone, and if he did, he would never admit it.”
She didn’t believe him, and still the words stung.
“Nadine,” he said, his tone turning serious. “You’re a doctor. You know how to prevent a pregnancy, right?”
“Of course. There are several ways....”
“Have you been practicing any of those... ways?”
“No.”
He fell onto his back and stared at the ceiling. “Sometimes it takes a while for a woman to get pregnant, I know, but since you ended up carrying JD after our first time, I’m a little worried that all I have to do is breathe on you.”
Nadine rolled over and draped herself across his chest. “Breathing has nothing to do with it, I assure you,” she teased. “Maybe I should give you a lesson on how babies are made.”
His hand settled possessively in her hair. His heart beat steadily beneath her ear. “What if you are pregnant?” he asked, no note of teasing in his voice.
“You could always make an honest woman of me.”
“No,” he said softly. “I can’t.”
Nadine lifted her head and stared down at Cash. “Why not?”
“I can’t ever marry.”
“Are you already married?”
“No.”
“Did you enter the priesthood while I wasn’t looking?”
He almost smiled. “Not hardly.”
“Then why can you never get married?”
A lazy finger rocked down her cheek, and he shifted his gaze so he no longer looked her in the eye. “If I loved a woman enough to marry her, she’d be marked the moment sh
e took my name. If I... had a child, that child would live in constant danger, just because he was cursed with my name.” His finger drifted down to her neck. “And that’s why you’re going to stay here in Rock Creek.” His eyes snapped back up to hers, and all hint of warmth was gone. “And I’m not.”
* * *
Cash walked into the dim saloon and found Evan polishing the long bar. The man lifted his head, gave him a knowing grin, and nodded once before silently returning to his chore.
There had been moments, days, sometimes weeks when he’d loved this saloon. It was the only place he’d ever called home, and even though he came and went and sometimes stayed away for months at a time, this plain, dim, rustic saloon was the closest thing to home he’d known in a very long time. Everything he’d thought he needed could be found in this simple place. A game of cards, a soft bed, a steady supply of whiskey.
Taking a seat at his usual table, Cash propped his feet on the table and stared at Evan. “You’re fired.”
“What?” Evan placed his meaty hands on the bar and leaned forward. “I didn’t say anything. I didn’t say a word to nobody....”
Cash reached into the deep pocket of his jacket and withdrew a wad of cash. He tossed it, money clip and all, toward the bar, where it landed directly before Evan. “A little something to see you over until you find another job.” The wad of money was more than enough to see Evan through the year. “I hear Henry Loring is looking for a new cook. That’s what you did before you came here, right?”
Evan nodded his head and scooped up the wad of cash.
“You never liked living in town, anyway,” Cash said.
“You leaving again?” Evan stuffed the money in his trouser pocket, pushing it deep in case Cash changed his mind.
“For good this time.” Cash glanced around the room.
“When are you closing up?”
“Now.”
Nadine had convinced him to stay until the Fourth of July celebration. Since they had both been naked, he’d been easy to... convince. But once that day had passed, he was gone. There would be no more giving in, no endless line of “Stay until JD’s birthday.”
“Stay until Christmas.”
“Stay until spring.” He could so easily get caught up in something so simple and treacherous. A week here, a month or two there. Until it became “Stay until the baby’s born.”
No, once the Fourth of July passed, he’d ride out of Rock Creek for the last time. He’d have to go far this time, so in a moment of weakness he wouldn’t be tempted to ride into Rock Creek in the dead of night and sneak into Nadine’s room just to look at her.
He’d have two weeks to talk JD out of his ambition. Two weeks to make love to Nadine like there was no tomorrow. Two weeks to convince her that he didn’t love her and never had.
Two weeks to say good-bye.
* * *
“This room is empty at the moment,” Eden said brightly, throwing open the door of an unoccupied room on the third floor. “We can clean it up and bring in whatever you need, until you find a permanent place to practice.”
Nadine surveyed the room with skeptical eyes. It was too small, and even those who were truly ill would have to climb two flights of stairs. But it would do. And if she had a patient who was too ill to make the climb, she’d go to them. That’s how she’d operated in Marianna. From a small room in her house, traveling on horseback to visit most of her patients.
“I wish I had all my books and equipment,” she said. “ JD and I came here with no more than we could carry, since we traveled on horseback.”
She’d had no idea she might stay, that she might find the man she’d always loved in the gunslinger Daniel Cash, and they’d end up together again. “All I brought with me was my medical bag and the few supplies I always carry in it.”
“You can wire home and ask them to pack up and ship all your things. That way you won’t have to take the time to ride back and see to it yourself.” Eden glanced around the dusty room, her eyes wide and deceptively innocent. “Unless, of course, there’s someone there you need to see. A special friend, perhaps, or a beau.”
“No,” Nadine said softly. “There’s no one in Marianna I need to see. My friends will understand.”
“You mean there’s no—”
“I mean I love Cash,” she said, placing her steady eyes on Eden. “Is that what you’re trying to find out?”
Eden blushed prettily. “Daniel doesn’t exactly need anyone to look out for him, and if he thought I’d even suggested such a thing, he’d be furious with me. But I swear, sometimes that man needs a keeper more than any one of my children.”
Nadine smiled. “I know what you mean.”
“The fact that he actually asked you to stay gives me hope. I so want him to be happy.”
Nadine stared at Eden. She was a beautiful woman, sweet and kind, and obviously madly in love with her husband. But there was something between Eden and Cash that made Nadine feel a surge of jealousy. That something Eden and Cash had was not love, she knew, and it was nothing sexual. But they shared a friendship that was dear and true and real, the kind of friendship that lasts forever.
“He lets you call him Daniel,” she said softly.
“He saved my life and I made him soup,” Eden said simply. The explanation obviously made some sense to her, but it made none to Nadine.
“I can’t cook,” she said simply. “The last time I made soup, JD said it tasted like I’d boiled an old shoe and added a few vegetables.”
“You have your own talents,” Eden said with a smile. “And they are much more marvelous than the ability to make a tasty soup. Why are you worried? I’m sure Daniel adores you. I have never seen him look at a woman the way he looks at you. Besides, he asked you to stay, didn’t he?”
Nadine stared at the mattress on the bed in the room that would become her office for a while. “Yes,” she whispered. “But he also told me that he’s leaving. I convinced him to stay until the Fourth of July celebration you and the other ladies have been talking about, but once that’s done... he’s leaving.”
She shifted her head to see that Eden’s smile was gone. A doctor for a friend was a lousy trade, Nadine knew that. But Eden didn’t look angry, she looked determined.
“We’ll see about that,” she said softly.
* * *
Cash sat on the green sofa in the lobby of the Paradise Hotel, a fabulous dinner sitting well on his stomach, a dread he tried to ignore making his heart heavy. Teddy and JD came through, headed for the stairs, their heads together as they conspired, no doubt about women and buried treasure. JD saw Cash sitting there, smiled, and waved without slowing his step. God, he looked so much like a child.
When JD’s and Teddy’s lowered voices had faded completely, Cash forced himself to his feet. He’d be back later, but he wouldn’t climb the stairs now. When the place was quiet, when JD was asleep, then it would be safe to return. Who was he kidding? These nights with Nadine were anything but safe.
Before he reached the doorway, Reese filled it. When he saw Cash, he came to a stop there, blocking the exit. Why did he have the feeling Reese had come here looking for him?
“I saw that your place is shut down,” Reese said casually. A tad too casually for Cash’s liking.
“You’re still an observant man, I see,” Cash answered.
“Going somewhere?”
Cash shook his head. “Eventually.”
“I thought you loved that place.”
“I used to. Now it bores me.”
“What are you going to do with yourself?” Reese finally stepped inside. “Are you any good at carpentry?”
“Good God, no,” Cash said, horrified.
“That’s too bad. The school needs some work. I just thought that maybe...”
Cash closed the distance between himself and his former captain. “If you’re trying to save me from myself,” he said caustically, “you’re going to have to get in line.”
The
expression on Reese’s face changed, subtly and tellingly. Schoolteacher or not, he was not a man to be trifled with. “You can’t live like this forever.”
“Why not?” Cash gave the man a wide smile. “I like living the way I do. No apron strings, no roots, no boundaries.”
“You can’t possibly—”
“We can’t all be schoolmarms,” Cash interrupted.
Reese didn’t take the bait; he remained calm. “If you need anything, you know where I am.”
“Thank you,” Cash said, brushing past. “But I have everything I need.” It was an empty lie and they both knew it, but Reese remained silent as Cash turned toward his dark, shut-down saloon.
* * *
Nadine looked content, lying on her back in the bed they shared, staring at the ceiling with a smile on her face. “You have no idea what a relief it is to have JD sleeping above my head,” she whispered.
“You didn’t trust me to keep him safe at the saloon?”
“It’s not that I didn’t trust you, it’s just...” She couldn’t find the right words, so her delicate hand gestured helplessly.
“He’s not a child, Nadine,” Cash said, his hands behind his head as he stared at the same ceiling. “You’re going to have to stop treating him like one.”
She rolled onto her side and laid her eyes on him. “He’s all I have. He’s been all I have for so long that I can’t clearly recall living any other way.”
“He is going to grow up.”
Nadine laid her head on his chest, nuzzled her soft cheek against his chest. “When he quits sneaking around trying to find buried treasure,” she whispered with a smile, “I might start to worry about him growing up.”
Cash laid his hand in her hair. He liked this, their time lying in the dark and talking, almost as much as he liked the sex. He’d never done this with any other woman, laid awake and just talked for hours. “He did like the idea of bunking with Teddy well enough,” he said. “They probably hatched all kinds of plans before they went to sleep.”
The saloon was closed, though he and JD had done a little work in the building that afternoon. There was still more work to be done before he left. His own room above the saloon was empty, and as far as most people knew, he slept there still. The room JD had been sleeping in most nights was perfectly serviceable. But he hadn’t liked the idea of leaving JD there all alone. Eden’s suggestion that JD move above stairs with the other children had been the perfect solution. It certainly made Nadine happy.
Cash (The Rock Creek Six Book 6) Page 15