Then he had held her trembling hand in his firm grip as he slipped on the ring they had purchased online. It was a simple stainless steel band, and then she had slipped a matching one on his finger. Later, after they were officially man and wife, Alex had lifted her hand to his lips and kissed the band and promised her that someday he would buy her a ring made of gold with diamonds.
Rebecca thought of the ring, tucked away in the top drawer of her dresser. She hadn’t looked at it in a long time, but she knew exactly where it was and how it felt on her finger.
After Rebecca had told Maureen about her plans to file for divorce, her friend asked, “Did you think it was God’s will for you to marry Alex all those years ago?”
Rebecca thought over Maureen’s question, not sure how to respond. Had she prayed to ask God if it was His will that she marry Alex? She didn’t recall asking if it was God’s will, but she certainly remembered praying hard that it would all work out. That they’d be able to get married in secret. That he’d come back one day and they would tell their families. That eventually they would have a home together. She had prayed for her happily ever after.
“I don’t think I knew how to pray regarding God’s will when I was eighteen,” she murmured.
“But you’re sure now that it’s God’s will that you divorce Alex?” Maureen was certainly not pulling any punches with her questions. “Have you prayed to see which way God would have you go with this? I know you have your reasons for having waited and not filing for divorce sooner, but I think you owe it to yourself—and to Alex—to really make sure divorce is the right option here.”
“I don’t understand how it could possibly be the right option to stay married.” Rebecca rubbed a hand across her forehead, frustration growing with her friend. “We are two completely different people than we were fifteen years ago. It would be like being married to a stranger. Surely, God wouldn’t expect that of us.”
Maureen chuckled. “I think you’ve lost your focus here. I’m not saying that God is expecting that of you. What I am saying, however, is that He certainly could. There are so many examples in the Bible of God expecting people to do difficult things. I mean we’re celebrating Christmas, right? The best example of God expecting something difficult of someone is the story of Mary. So is God expecting you to stay married to Alex? I have no idea. But could He expect that of you? Oh yes, I think He could.”
Rebecca leaned her head back against the chair. What was she supposed to do now? How was she supposed to approach this? Having just relived her past with Alex through sharing her memories with Maureen, Rebecca felt raw, her emotions so near the surface. “How will I even know what His will is in this situation?”
“Well, for starters, I think we need to pray about it. And then I think you need to be open and prepared for what might happen. You have the time and the ability to stay there and see what God might want for you, Alex, and Jordan.”
“I’m not sure I want to stay here.” Rebecca swallowed hard. “After all, this isn’t where my best friend is.”
She heard Maureen give a weak laugh. “I know, and that’s what makes it hard for me to encourage you to consider staying there. But we’ll work it out.”
There was silence between them for a little bit. It was a comfortable silence of friends who knew each other well. It was hard to consider doing what Maureen had suggested. It would mean giving up her whole life in Chicago because she knew there would be no way for Alex to relocate since his business was firmly established in the Twin Cities.
“Let me pray for you,” Maureen said softly.
Rebecca let the tears she’d been blinking back finally fall as she listened to her friend pray. She was scared. Scared to love the man who had hurt her so much. She didn’t want to give him access to her heart again. And that, more than anything, filled her with apprehension about seeking God’s will. What if He really did want her to become vulnerable to Alex again?
When Maureen finished praying, Rebecca thanked her. “I could really, really use a hug from you right now.”
“I could use one too. If you do end up living there, we will make sure to have regular chats and regular visits for both the boys and us. You will still be my best friend ever.”
“Yeah. We are BFFs.”
They laughed together and then changed the subject to what was going on in Maureen’s life. When they finally hung up, Rebecca felt more at peace. She stood up and walked to the laptop. Without even sitting down, she clicked to close the reply window that she had opened. This was a decision she needed to pray about some more.
Rebecca decided that while she was praying about what to do, she would give Alex the opportunity to get to know her and Jordan better, as he had requested. Which was why on Tuesday afternoon, they found themselves at the BlackThorpe compound preparing to shoot at targets.
“Am I really going to be able to shoot?” Jordan asked as they watched Alex take some guns out of a locked cabinet.
“Yes. I thought about it and decided that in a controlled environment like this, it would be okay for you to learn how to safely handle a gun.”
Alex approached them with the weapons and ear protectors then directed them to a table nearby. She had anticipated that they would just walk in, get some guns, and shoot at targets. But Alex took the time to explain each part of the gun to them and then showed them how to load and unload the weapon. She noticed that Alex took particular care to show Jordan how to safely handle the weapon he’d chosen for him. As she stood there watching them, their heads bent together over the gun, Rebecca knew that coming here to the range had been the right decision.
When she’d suggested to Alex that they would like to go shooting, he had initially offered to have one of his men teach them. She sensed that he felt that was what she wanted, and he had seemed surprised when she had asked if he could be the one to take them instead. And now that Jordan was willingly interacting with Alex, Rebecca knew that this was an important time for the two of them.
It wasn’t much longer before Alex took them through a set of doors that led to the shooting range. There were a couple of people already there, but he found them side-by-side spots so that he could help them both. She waited patiently while he worked with Jordan, both of them watching as their son shot at the target for the first time.
His excitement at having hit the paper showed as he spun around to high-five them both. “That was so cool.”
“Take a few deep breaths to calm yourself before you shoot again,” Alex told him. “Just keep it steady and you’ll hit the target.”
Rebecca watched as Jordan did as his father had told him. Taking his time paid off when he finally hit the shoulder of the figure on the target. Instead of turning around to high-five them, Jordan remained focused on the target and shot again. She and Alex both watched until he had emptied the clip on the gun. His aim had improved with each shot.
“You’re a natural at this,” Alex said when Jordan turned from the target. “You just needed to settle yourself and focus and you hit that target every time.”
“Can I shoot some more?” Jordan asked.
Alex nodded and together they reloaded the gun for him. With Jordan focused on the target once again, Alex turned toward her. “And now it’s your turn.”
Rebecca had no real desire to learn to shoot. She was there more for Jordan than for herself, but she nodded and turned toward the target at the end of her spot.
“I chose a lighter weapon for you. Hopefully, you’ll be able to manage it.”
She felt Alex move in behind her and nerves fluttered in her stomach at his nearness. She lifted the weapon, preparing to shoot, but his hand touched her shoulder.
“Let me help you line that up a little bit,” Alex said as his hand moved down her arm to where she gripped the gun.
He was so close that she could see the stubble on his cheeks when she glanced up at him. And the scent of his cologne surrounded her. His fingers were warm and steady as he adjusted her grip on
the gun.
How on earth was she supposed to focus on the target with Alex standing so close? She hadn’t anticipated having this type of reaction to him, but seeing him patiently work with Jordan had moved something in her. Even though he no doubt had plenty of work to do at his office, he had willingly dropped it all to spend time with them. And he didn’t seem to be in any hurry to finish this and get back to work. She appreciated his patience.
“Okay. Give it a try,” Alex said as he stepped back from her.
Rebecca took a moment to try to calm herself down. Several deep breaths later she focused and then fired. She looked in dismay at the target to see that, unlike Jordan, she hadn’t even hit the paper, never mind the figure that was printed on it.
With a huff of frustration, she lowered the gun and looked over at Alex. “What did I do wrong?”
Alex stepped to her side again. “You didn’t do anything wrong. Sometimes it takes a bit to get used to pulling the trigger and not pulling the gun at the same time.”
Rebecca turned back towards the target and lifted her gun. Once again, Alex’s hands were on hers adjusting her grip and lining it up with her shoulders. “That was your first shot so you didn’t know what to expect. This time, you have a better idea of what’s coming, so focus, aim, and pull the trigger.”
Hoping Alex was right, Rebecca tried to let go of the frustration of totally missing the target the first time. She took a couple of breaths, focused in on the target at the end of the range, pulled the trigger and…missed the target for the second time. She glared at the gun as she lowered her arms.
“I think there’s something wrong with this gun,” she said as she turned to face Alex. Jordan had now joined him, and the two of them looked at her with raised eyebrows. She held the gun out, muzzle to the floor and said, “You try and shoot with it.”
Alex hesitated a moment but then reached out and took the gun from her. She stepped back to stand by Jordan so Alex had room to shoot. He took his position exactly where she had, lifted his arms and fired the gun. Rebecca was so enamored with his smooth, quick motions as he shot at the target that it took her a moment to realize that the bullet had gone right through the heart of the figure on the paper.
“Well, Mom, I do believe that this is what they would call user error,” Jordan said with a smirk on his face.
Rebecca gave him a light smack on his shoulder. “Okay, so maybe shooting isn’t really my thing.”
“Don’t you write about shooting in those cozy mysteries of yours?” Alex asked.
“Sure. But clearly my characters have better aim than I do.” Rebecca crossed her arms. “I guess I do better at writing about shooting than actually shooting itself.”
Alex handed the gun back to her. “Sometimes it just takes a little more practice. Not everybody gets it on the first go around. It took Adrianne a little while to get the hang of it.”
“What about Melanie?” Jordan asked.
With a smile, Alex said, “You don’t want to mess with Melanie. That girl knows her weapons and took to shooting like a duck to water. She’s actually a better shot than a lot of the guys around here. But like I said, not everybody takes to it like she does.”
“Well, I’ll finish off this clip,” Rebecca said. “But I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that I don’t really think shooting is something I’ll be doing very much of.”
Alex didn’t say anything as he helped her get into position again. Out of the remaining shots, she managed to hit the paper of the target twice but nowhere near the figure.
When she was done, she handed the gun back to Alex and then told them that she would wait for them in the area where they’d first come in. The large glass wall would allow her to continue to observe them. She left as much for Jordan’s sake as for her own. This would give Alex a chance to interact with Jordan one on one. And it would get her away from having to humiliate herself any longer.
~*~*~
Alex stood a few feet behind Jordan, watching as the teen shot round after round at the target. A swell of pride filled Alex at how well Jordan was doing. It seemed to come naturally to him, and Alex was glad that this was something they had in common. For the first time in a week, he felt a bit of hope for his relationship with Jordan.
He’d been surprised when Rebecca called to ask about going to the shooting range with him. After their last discussion regarding guns, Alex had figured that it was a closed subject. So when she called, he’d been more than willing to clear his afternoon to spend it with them. And he wasn’t just glad to be spending the time with Jordan, he’d been grateful to be able to spend it with Rebecca as well.
More than anything, he hoped that this time spent together would be a turning point for all of them. Alex didn’t expect miracles. He certainly didn’t expect Rebecca to suddenly decide to move to the Twin Cities after spending just a little bit of time with him, but at least, it was a step in the right direction. But still he was trying his best to be prepared for whatever God may have planned for him. With or without Rebecca and Jordan.
He glanced through the glass to see where Rebecca had gone. She sat at a table, her ear protection in front of her, watching them. When their gazes met, she gave him a small smile then looked past him to where Jordan stood. He turned back just as Jordan finished another clip. It didn’t take him long to reload and soon he was shooting again. He was doing a much better job of hitting the figure on the target and seemed to actually be aiming for certain parts of the body outline.
Alex wondered if perhaps Jordan might be interested in working with the company when he got older. Though the company was large, he still thought of it as a family-run operation. Although not related by blood, he and Marcus were as close as brothers could be.
“How much longer can I shoot?” Jordan asked after he’d finished another clip.
“You can shoot until your mother says we need to leave. You’re doing a great job with hitting the target.” Alex pressed the button to bring the target sheet toward them. “Why don’t we set up a new one for you? Are you trying to aim for specific spots?”
Jordan nodded. “Yeah. I thought it might be good to help my aim instead of just randomly shooting at the target.”
After the target was back in place, Alex stepped back. “There you go. See what you can do with this one. I’m going to go talk to your mom so if you need me just tap on the glass. And remember what we talked about for safety and using the weapon.”
“I remember. I’ll be careful.”
Alex waited for him to get the first couple shots off then he turned and headed for the exit. Once back in the other room, Alex pulled off his ear protection and walked to the table where Rebecca sat. She looked up and gave him another small smile, but he could see the wariness in her eyes as she watched him sit down. At some point, they would need to discuss their marriage. But for now, he would be content to have discussions centered around Jordan.
“He’s doing really well,” Alex said as he set his ear protection on the table next to hers. “Thank you for agreeing to let him do this. I know you aren’t exactly keen on it.”
“I wasn’t,” Rebecca agreed. “But when I realized it was more than just handing him a weapon and showing him where to shoot, I felt a lot better about it.”
“We take gun safety very seriously around here.” Alex shifted, his leg bumping hers under the table. “We encourage our employees to learn how to shoot as well as take self-defense classes. Given the work we do, it’s important that people know how to take care of themselves. Of course, some require more training for their jobs than others.”
“What exactly do you do at BlackThorpe?” Rebecca asked.
As Alex laid out what all the company was involved with, he could see that Rebecca’s interest wasn’t faked. She asked knowledgeable questions, so he knew her interest was genuine. For some reason, that pleased him. He liked that she was interested in something that was important to him. In a way, BlackThorpe was like his child, and just
like he wanted to get to know about Jordan, she seemed to want to get to know about his company.
“So Justin was in charge of this center?” Rebecca’s glance went quickly to Jordan and then back to Alex.
Alex nodded. “He still is in charge, but of course, right now it’s in a greatly reduced role. The other guys working under him have done a great job of stepping up during this time.”
Rebecca regarded him for a moment, her eyes intent. “Do you think Alana is still alive?”
Alex’s gaze dropped as his fingers ran along the smooth edges of the ear protection in front of him. He sighed then looked back up at Rebecca. “The length of time that she’s been missing doesn’t bode well under normal circumstances. But because we are almost one hundred percent certain that she was taken by her ex-husband, I have hope. I know that sounds strange, especially since her husband was abusive to her, but I’ve just been praying that the man would be bombarded by happy memories they shared. I understand that it’s entirely possible that Alana won’t come home to Justin, but for now, it feels right to hope.”
Rebecca nodded. “I can’t imagine what they’re both going through. I mean, I’ve worried about Connor a few times over the years when he’s dropped out of communication.” She hesitated, her gaze dipped away briefly. “But I think it would be different with someone you love like that in danger.”
“Yes. I think it would be very different.” Alex sat for a moment, searching for another safe topic, but before he could say anything further, Rebecca spoke.
“Do you think there might be other things that Jordan would enjoy doing with you?” Rebecca asked. “For what it’s worth, I don’t think he’s totally rejected the idea of having a relationship with you.”
Hope surged through Alex, stronger than what he’d felt earlier. “I don’t want to push him.”
“He might need a little enticement, more than a push.” Rebecca’s lips curved up into a small smile as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “That’s what I’ve learned as his parent. Sometimes he needs a push, but I think in this situation he needs enticement. And by that, I don’t mean buying him expensive toys or the latest electronic gadget. I mean finding the things he enjoys doing and offering to do them with him.”
Proof of Life: A Christian Romance (BlackThorpe Security Book 4) Page 15