by Ann Major
“But we don’t have that luxury,” she whispered. “We live in a fishbowl with the whole world judging us. What will that kind of life do to Daniel? What will he think of you and me?”
“You’re right. I should have addressed the issue sooner. We need to take steps to protect him immediately.”
“What do you mean?”
“We have to tell him the truth…about who I am.”
“What?”
“We’ve got to tell him I’m his real father. Tonight. Now.”
“No! I told you. He’s all mixed up about Robert. He’s not ready.”
“Would you prefer that he hear lies and half-truths from the kids at school? Do you want him to feel all mixed up like you’re feeling? No, you were right the first time. Telling him the truth is the only way we can protect him.”
Twelve
“That was one bite! Do I have to eat more?” Daniel glared at the spinach soufflé that was still on his plate as he set his fork down.
“No,” said both his parents in low, icy voices.
Their cool glances met for a mere half second. Quickly, Caitlyn looked away, her eyes seeking the safety of Daniel.
“Can I leave, then?” he asked her. “Please. I want to play with my castle and dragons.”
“Before dessert?” Caitlyn replied. “It’s chocolate mousse.”
“Okay. I’ll stay.”
Daniel stared at each of them and then at the crystal chandelier above the gleaming dining room table. Luke and Caitlyn continued to eat their soufflés, which had become tasteless in the suffocating silence.
“Why do we have such a big table?” Daniel asked.
Why couldn’t he just sit quietly for once? Caitlyn thought, and then realized it was hardly Daniel’s fault that she felt so tense and out of sorts.
“For dinner parties,” Luke replied.
“But it’s always just us,” Daniel answered.
“We’ll have parties in the future,” Luke said. “Who’ll come?”
“Our friends.”
“Do you have any kid friends who could bring more toys?”
“Some of my business associates have children.”
“What are their names?”
“Daniel!” Caitlyn snapped.
“What?” Daniel asked. “What’s wrong with asking questions?”
“Nothing,” she whispered, chastened. “Mommy doesn’t feel well, that’s all.”
Daniel sighed. Lapsing into a silence that was almost as glum as hers, he stared up at the ceiling again. For the next few minutes there were only the sounds of glasses being lifted and set down, of silverware clinking against china. Her nerves strained to the max, Caitlyn set down her fork.
“You’re doing it again!” Daniel said.
“What?” Both adults eyed him guiltily as he glanced from one to the other.
“Not talking to each other. Not looking at each other. Y’all will only talk to me. How come? Are you mad at each other again?”
“No, we have a secret we’re going to tell you after dinner, and it’s making us nervous,” Luke said.
Caitlyn looked up at him, aghast.
“I don’t know about your mother,” Luke said, reaching across the table and wrapping her clenched hand in his, “but it’s sure making me edgy and none too talkative.”
Caitlyn tried to yank her hand free, but Luke folded his hand over hers and held on tight.
“A secret! I can’t wait! Tell me now!”
“And skip dessert?” Caitlyn said, still struggling to free her hand.
“Mom, can’t you tell me now and then we’ll have dessert after the secret?”
“We can do anything we want to,” Luke said, smiling at Caitlyn. Letting her go, he stood up.
Taking the boy’s hand, who clung to him happily, he led Daniel onto the balcony. Caitlyn followed them, nervously wrapping a cashmere pashmina around herself when she began to shiver in the damp, chill air.
Sitting down, Luke drew Daniel into his arms.
“Did you know that the minute I met you, I knew you were special?” Luke began.
Daniel’s big, white smile flashed as he curled more snugly into Luke’s arms.
“And you are special, much more special than I realized.” He smoothed Daniel’s hair behind his ear. “You know I told you that your mother and I are old friends, that we knew each other before she married your father.”
“Yes,” Daniel murmured.
“Well, the truth is, we were more than friends. We fell in love. You are our son.”
Daniel sat up straighter, looking from one to the other. “For real?”
“For real,” Luke said. “I am your real father. But I didn’t know it until I saw you that day in the road.”
“Why didn’t you tell him about me, Mom?”
“Don’t blame your mother. I went away. She didn’t know where I was. She married Mr. Wakefield, and you were told he was your father.”
“But why? Why did you leave her and not tell her where you were going?”
“It’s not that simple, but that’s a story for another day.”
“So that’s why our eyes are just alike,” Daniel said in a low, awed tone. “Everybody says so. And our hair’s even the same color. But I’m not as tall as you.”
“Yet. You’re only five, so you’ll probably grow.”
“Really? So, I’ll grow big and tall…just like you?”
“Maybe even taller. But only if you keep eating your spinach soufflé.”
“Yuck.”
“When I found out about you, I thought we should become a family. Your mother agreed. So here we are.”
“And that’s the secret?”
“That’s it.”
“Now can I eat my chocolate mousse?”
“You’ve been very patient. I believe you’ve earned it.”
“Will chocolate mousse make me grow tall?”
“Not nearly so tall as spinach soufflé,” Luke said, chuckling as he rumpled Daniel’s hair.
“That’s not fair!”
When Daniel sprinted ahead of them to the kitchen, Luke looked at Caitlyn, whose chest felt unbearably tight. So many things in life weren’t fair, she thought.
“Well, I thought that went rather well,” he said, sounding pleased.
“I suppose.” Her voice was barely audible, and she couldn’t meet his eyes.
“So, why the long face?” he whispered, concern in his low tone.
“I’m cold. Let’s go in.”
“Right. Let’s not talk about all the elephants in the room.”
She frowned. Why did she feel like her life was spinning out of control? Why couldn’t she stop thinking about the beautiful house Luke had visited with Teresa?
Why couldn’t she believe Luke when he said he wanted to make their marriage work? Why was it easier to believe the vicious taunts of strangers?
“Surprise!”
Caitlyn, who’d been expecting another intimate dinner party on Hassan’s plump sofas, gasped. Rather than something sparkly, for a party, she wore the simple off-the-shoulder black sheath that had been her wedding dress with a string of pearls.
When the huge throng of well-wishers in black ties and evening gowns advanced, she froze in the doorway until Luke gently nudged her forward.
A man at the back of the crowd tapped his champagne glass. “Congratulations are in order!”
“A toast! Hassan! A toast to your son, the bridegroom, and his bride.”
When dozens of people lifted their champagne glasses, Caitlyn swayed dizzily against Luke.
Hassan rushed forward, took her hand to steady her and said something in flowing Arabic that Caitlyn could only suppose was a toast. When he finished, he drained his glass and threw it at the marble fireplace, smashing it into gleaming shards that caught the light from the lamps and shot golden rays of fire. Everybody else drank to the toast and broke their glasses, too.
More crystal flutes were brought on silver trays, and
soon the glittering crowd surrounded them, clamoring to be introduced to Raffi’s bride.
“So glad to meet you,” each said in turn, pressing her hand until her fingers hurt. Thankfully, most of their conversation was directed toward Luke, whom they knew.
“So surprised when we heard Raffi got married.”
“Wonderful of Hassan to throw this party so we could meet you, love.”
“We thought he’d never—”
“So many different women. And all of them so beautiful,” one man said into her ear. “But you are the fairest of all.”
“I’m sure,” Caitlyn whispered, wishing with all her heart that she was.
“Still, you’ll need to keep an eye on him, young lady,” the man’s wife warned.
Finally, after she’d been introduced to everyone—lords, ladies, film people, businessmen and their wives—Luke left her with Hassan, saying he’d bring her a plate of food. But a bony, birdlike woman with a teased puff of red hair pounced on Hassan immediately, saying she had something very important she simply had to tell him.
“Just for a bit, my dear. I won’t keep him long.”
“Gossip, no doubt, knowing Marie.” Hassan winked.
Caitlyn said she didn’t mind in the least and was stranded alone on the edge of the party. For a second or two she felt conspicuous and uneasy, but she wasn’t alone for long.
Arm in arm, both of them smiling at each other and then at her, Nico and Regina strolled over. Then Luke appeared with plates of sushi.
Immediately, Caitlyn relaxed. If Regina could transform herself into a princess and manage a difficult royal mother-in-law, there was hope for Caitlin, too.
“Where’s Daniel tonight?” Regina asked.
“We have a new nanny.”
Several pleasant moments of conversation about Glory’s mischievous antics and the details of their meeting with the new teacher ensued. Caitlyn was laughing when the front door opened and a flash of shimmering white drew her attention to a lovely blonde.
A hush fell over the crowd. Beside her, Luke stiffened as if he’d been struck a blow.
“Oh, no,” Regina whispered, touching Nico’s arm. “It’s Teresa. What’s she doing here?”
The wild-eyed girl stared at Luke and then at Caitlyn for a moment that seemed to stretch endlessly. For that lifetime, it was as if they were the only three people in the room.
The girl was radiantly beautiful, but her lavender eyes held poignant desolation. Caitlyn felt both jealousy and sorrow as the girl took one faltering step toward Luke before losing her nerve. Perhaps she remembered that she hadn’t been invited. She flushed. Then with a little cry, she turned and fled.
“Excuse me,” Luke whispered before rushing to Teresa’s side and ushering her back out the door, which closed behind them.
“Poor thing,” a woman standing nearby said to her companion. “Everybody knows she’s the one he really loves.”
Pain stabbed Caitlyn like an ice pick to her heart. For a moment, she found it difficult to breathe.
“Why would you say that when he married Caitlyn?”
“Because I always thought they made a gorgeous couple. Teresa is so refined. She comes from such wonderful people. He bought the house he intended for her.”
Caitlyn’s confidence drained away.
“You can’t believe everything you read.”
“Well, what could a horse trainer from Texas and a man like our Luke possibly have in common? And her dreadful accent.” The woman laughed. “Did you speak to her?”
Caitlyn lifted her head and tried to pretend she hadn’t heard.
“You mustn’t worry what other people think. Or about Teresa showing up uninvited to attract Luke’s attention,” Regina said gently. “Sometimes it’s difficult for the young and beautiful to accept the ending of a relationship they’ve set their hearts on. She was so sure of him.”
Because he’d made her feel secure in his love?
Caitlyn nodded mutely. She understood Teresa’s pain too well. At nineteen she’d felt sure of his love, too. Then he’d left without saying goodbye.
In less than five minutes, the door opened again, and Luke strode back inside—alone. He was pale and tense, but he caught Caitlyn’s eye and went immediately to her side.
“Sorry about that,” he whispered tightly against her ear. When he touched her arm, she stepped away from him.
“It’s okay,” she said. But she didn’t feel okay. She felt unsure.
Even though she tried to avoid his touch, he tucked her hand into his and brought it to his lips. “I think she’s on the road to accepting our marriage.”
Caitlyn bit her lips. What about Luke? What did he feel? Even though he stayed at her side for most of the evening and acted the part of a very devoted bridegroom, the party celebrating their marriage had been spoiled. At least for Caitlyn, who kept seeing the beautiful, brokenhearted Teresa searching a sea of faces only to find Caitlyn at Luke’s side. Caitlyn kept seeing Luke running after Teresa. He’d put his hand on the girl’s spine as he’d ushered her outside. The girl obviously adored him and was so exquisitely beautiful.
Later, when Luke left her to talk to Hassan, Caitlyn overheard snatches of furtively whispered conversations that tore her heart into more pieces.
“I hear he married her in Vegas. You can be sure his wedding to Teresa would have been a grand affair.”
Luke said the press coverage didn’t matter, but these people were his friends. It was obvious that they believed Teresa was the right bride for Luke. They knew him, didn’t they?
Luke tried to talk to her on the way home, but she turned away and kept her face pressed against the glass of the limousine. When they had undressed and were in bed, he tried to pull her close, but she shook him off, saying she had a headache.
“That’s the oldest excuse in the book,” he teased, running the pad of his thumb down her spine and causing her to shiver.
“Please—just leave me alone,” she whispered even as she began to ache for him.
The thumb followed the same tingling path back up to her neck. “Are you upset because of Teresa?”
“No,” she lied.
“Do you want to talk?”
“No! I don’t want to talk! I want to go to sleep. I’m tired. I’m not in the mood.”
“Maybe I could persuade you to be in the mood,” he said huskily. “I’m very good at that, you know.”
His hand slid against her spine again, and she felt a familiar frisson of electricity.
“I said no,” she whispered desperately.
She knew she was being unreasonable, but she couldn’t stop herself. She wanted him to hold her and reassure her. She wanted him to make wild, passionate love to her, and yet…and yet she kept remembering Teresa, so she pushed him away.
Yes, she was jealous of the beautiful young girl who had loved and lost him. He’d once said Teresa was perfect, and those other women concurred. Such a woman would be better suited to the role of a billionaire’s wife than she, who was homesick for her ranch and horses, who sometimes felt she would never fit in here.
Her mind raced in circles, repeating a constant refrain. She had Luke. Hadn’t he said he wanted to make their marriage work? That meant he was trying to forget Teresa. She should be happy. But she wasn’t. She wanted to possess his soul as he possessed hers.
He kissed her hair. “All right, then.”
When he finally rolled over onto his side, she lay on hers. Crossing her arms over her breasts, she felt stiff and cold and proud and utterly miserable as she stared up at the ceiling.
He was soon asleep. She lay awake for hours, listening to his even breaths in the dark, loving the sound of them, loving him, knowing that she had to summon the courage to give him his life back.
Sometimes a woman, even a smart woman, could be her own worst enemy. Caitlyn hadn’t slept well after she’d finally dozed off. She knew she shouldn’t go looking for trouble so soon after waking. She should think her
plan through. But riddled by her insecurities, she was in such an awful mood, she couldn’t help herself.
She despised herself for craving him, hated the circumstances that had brought them back together. If only she could fit into his world as well as that lovely girl with the desolate lavender eyes.
Logically, Caitlyn knew that Luke was a grown man who had made his own choices. Fitting into his world would take time. Building a solid marriage required work and patience. But after last night, she wasn’t feeling logical or patient.
When she stormed into the dining room, she found him sitting alone at the end of his long dining room table. He was reading his newspaper, eating eggs, mushrooms and bacon. He looked so tall and darkly handsome in black slacks, a white shirt and tie—so adorable.
Her heart lurched. She hated to interrupt him when he was enjoying a rare moment of solitude, but she couldn’t stop herself. “Luke.”
He looked up. Did she only imagine that his eyes were shadowed with pain before he smiled pleasantly and tried to pretend nothing had gone wrong last night?
“Good morning,” he said. “Feeling better, I hope?”
“This isn’t working,” she said, lashing into him with the fury of an unruly child. “You know it as well as I do, only I won’t pretend any longer.”
An edge of steel crept into his voice. “If you’re still upset about last night—”
“I’m not. I’m talking about us. Our marriage. Living together. I don’t belong here. In London. With you. I can’t do this. I belong in Texas.”
His mouth thinned. “Look, I understand it hasn’t been easy. First, you had all your ranch problems. Then I show up and propose. You give up the only lifestyle you’ve ever known. Adjusting to life over here took me months, years. All we’ve had is two damn weeks while I’ve been up to my ears in business crises and paparazzi.”
“You need a wife more like Teresa. You said she was perfect for you.”
“Well, she isn’t. I’m very sorry about that embarrassing episode last night, but Teresa and I are finished. She understands that now. I think she had to see us together to get closure. You will never have to meet her again. Nor will I. Unless by accident. She’s young. She will fall in love with someone else, marry and be very happy.”