“I want to taste you.”
I came back to myself with a start. “No. Not now. Shower.”
“I want to taste you in the shower.”
“Mmm… I think I want that, too.”
I stepped away and into the stream of hot water. Faith stepped in after me and grabbed my hair, tugging me down to kiss her.
Her other hand slipped around my cock. Lubricated by the soap and water, she stroked from my balls up to the tip and back again, carefully running her fingers over the sensitive head as she did so. I moaned and thrust my hips forward.
When she released me, I felt a sense of loss. I wanted–needed–her to keep touching me. Stepping under the water, I rinsed off before I switched places with Faith so she was under the stream.
I squirted soap onto my hand and worked it into a lather before setting to work cleaning her. I took extra time cleaning her breasts because, after all, I needed to make sure they were squeaky clean. I lathered up her arms and stomach, then gently between her legs and down.
“My turn to wash you,” she said, her voice husky as I stood back up.
I handed her the bottle, and she quickly poured some out, lathering up my chest, down to my stomach, and onto my hips and legs.
“Oh dear… will you look at that?”
“Hmm?”
“I see something else that still needs attention, too.”
Good. “Is that so?”
Then her hands were kneading my balls, rolling and squeezing them between her fingers. I smacked my hand against the wall, allowing it to support my weight. “Shit! Faith…” I rasped.
“Shh… I’ve got you.” Her lips closed with feathery-softness over the tip of my cock. I leaned my head back onto the hard tiled wall, completely lost. Her hand fisted the base as she rolled her lips over her teeth, sheathing them. Slowly, painstakingly, she took more and more of me into her mouth. Her tongue swirled around my dick, stroking me, teasing me. I yelled out a garbled groan as I felt myself press against the back of her throat. She answered me with a moan of her own, the vibrations shooting from the sensitive skin, all throughout my entire body.
A moan escaped my lips as she started to pick up speed. Her hand squeezed the base as she sucked me deep into her mouth, faster and faster. She was so beautiful, there on her knees, my cock in her mouth. I wanted to watch her work me into a frenzy, but my eyes squeezed shut on their own volition, only to fly open again as her other hand cupped my balls, applying pressure to the spot just beneath them.
“Shit! Oh my God, Faith! Stop… stop now, or I’m gonna come!” I gasped. I hadn’t planned to come in her mouth, but the feeling hit me too fast and I was powerless to stop it. My words only seemed to spur her on, though, and instead of stopping, she sucked me even harder. Her tongue skated along the vein underneath. I looked down to see her eyes closed but crinkled as if she really enjoyed this, her head bobbing up and down.
Then she hummed again and my entire body tingled in that split second before my climax overtook me, emptying my balls and pent-up desire into the back of her throat. I leaned heavily on the wall, gasping for breath. Faith swallowed every drop, her tongue coming up and squeezing my dick into the roof of her mouth with each gulp.
“Christ, Faith. I love you.”
She stood and caressed my face with her hand, cupping my cheek. “Do you really mean that? You said it last night, too. We’ve only been together less than twelve hours.”
I hesitated, trying to wrap my mind around my own feelings. “Hmm. That may be, but I’ve missed you since the first time I laid eyes on you. I think I’d miss you even if we’d never met.”
“That’s… such a romantic thing to say.”
“It’s true, too.” I smiled at her.
“How can it be?” She turned off the shower and stepped out, tracking water across the bathroom as she hunted for the towels. I hurried after her and grabbed one, holding it out for her. “All this is just… just new. We’re like a drug to each other and we can’t wait for our next hit. How can you say that it’s love?”
“Because I’ve never felt like this.” I grabbed her hand and held it to my chest. “Not with anyone else, not ever. Come on, Faith. You feel it, too. You feel it when we touch, when we kiss, when we fuck. You feel our connection even when we aren’t touching at all, just like I do. Admit it. This isn’t a drug, it’s the real thing. You know, you once said that maybe I’d been waiting for the right person all along. I think you were right. I had been waiting for you all that time.”
She launched herself at me. I caught her, picking her up and throwing her over my shoulder. I slapped her ass and she squealed, slapping mine in retribution to lesser effect. I chuckled and carried her into my bedroom and deposited her on the bed.
“I think I owe you an orgasm or six.” I laughed when her eyes got big and round. “Don’t worry. You’re in good hands.”
Chapter Thirteen
We lay together, sated, her head on my chest and her shoulder tucked under my arm. Faith’s fingers traced designs in my chest hair and tickled my skin. I caught her hand in mine and kissed it, content.
“I’m going to need to leave soon. I need to see Jacob, preferably before my show tonight.”
I winced. This is what she chose to say to me right after we’d had mind-blowing sex? “Why?”
“I have to tell him it’s over.”
“Tell him over the phone.”
Faith sat up and leaned over me, glaring. “I will not tell him over the phone. We’ve been together for a year. He deserves for me to tell him in person.”
“He just told you yesterday that he loved you. He won’t take it well. I don’t want you alone with him for that. I’ll go with you.”
“You’ll… what?” She gawked. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re you, and he’s him. And both of you will end up in the hospital.”
I stroked her face. “I can take care of myself, Faith.”
“But I really don’t want there to be a fight over this. I’ll take care of it.”
I didn’t like it. I would much rather do anything other than allow Faith to be alone with that guy. It irked me that there was nothing I could do to stop her. Certainly not this early on. I climbed out of bed and stalked into my closet to get dressed.
“Are you pouting?” Faith asked.
“Maybe.”
“That’s adorable. Come back and lay down with me.”
“Thought you were leaving.”
“I said soon, not now.”
“Are you hungry? We haven’t eaten all day, and we’ve been burning a lot of calories.” I pulled on a clean pair of boxers, followed by jeans and a tight black t-shirt.
“Yes, I am. Come here, please.” I could almost feel her visually undressing me once more. I padded, barefoot, back to her.
She wrapped her arms around me, her cheek pressed into my hip. “Don’t worry about Jacob, okay? I just need to do this, then it’ll be over.”
I sighed. “Did you tell him you loved him back last night?”
She released me and turned away, but not before I saw the shame etched on her delicate features. Shame… and guilt.
Did she love him? Was I doing her a disservice by chasing her? Was she just afraid of hurting my feelings? I grabbed socks from my dresser and tugged them on.
She still wasn’t looking at me. Not a good sign. I slipped into my running shoes, kissed her on the top of her head, and headed downstairs to find food.
I glanced at the time. Nearly two. I shook my head. The look she’d had on her face cut me deeply. What was I going to do? Should I let her go?
Even as the thought crossed my mind, I knew I was crazy. How could I ever let her go now?
It was bad enough when Lily left me. We weren’t a good match. Our entire “relationship” had been all about sex. Still, I’d let her in, and I was sure that was why I’d had anxiety attacks when any other woman looked at me. I d
idn’t want to get hurt again. I mean, I was no shrink, but I was still damned sure that had something to do with it.
Faith was different. Sex with her was incredible and intimate, for sure, but our relationship was about far more. Her smile brightened my moods. I wanted to hear her sing, to take her to restaurants and movies. I wanted to date her, to wake up next to her and sleep with her by my side. I wanted her to be mine in every way, but even more than that, I wanted to be hers. I wanted to show her the world. How could that be wrong when everything about her just felt right?
Everything except this: she was truly the woman of my dreams, but she didn’t feel the same way about me. She had confessed her love for Jacob when she couldn’t utter those words to me. That’s what hurt. Was it unfair that I felt this way? Hell, yeah… but that didn’t change anything. We’d only come to know each other these last five weeks, only been together for a day… but I’d wanted her for more than a year–ever since the first time we’d met. She’d sounded so happy on the phone last night… and I’d taken that away from her.
I rifled through my fridge, putting together the ingredients to make French bread pizza. This would work. Hopefully Faith liked pizza. Didn’t most people? I heard her making her way down the stairs and knew she’d be joining me in a moment.
Arms wrapped around my waist, and her soft body pressed against my back. I laughed as she teasingly thrust her hips into my ass. I turned around. “I think you lack the proper equipment for that.”
“I think you wouldn’t be pleased if I had the proper equipment.”
“You’re right about that. Do you like pizza?”
“Who doesn’t?”
“Good point.” I popped them in the oven.
“I had no idea you were so domestic.”
I chuckled. “Domestic? Not really. I’m just used to living alone. I have a cleaning lady who comes in once every other week to do all the shit I don’t want to do, but other than that I just straighten as I go. As for cooking, I’ve learned how to make a few meals. I’m not really that picky about food.”
“This is greasier than I would have expected from an athlete.”
“I eat what I want, well… within reason. I tend to avoid most of the processed junk, but other than that, I burn it off so fast I have to eat high calorie foods.”
“Interesting.”
I reached out and traced her bottom lip with my thumb, then pulled her into my arms. I rested my cheek on the top of her head. “Did you call him yet?”
“Who?”
“Right answer.”
“Oh. Him. No. I guess I should so I can make sure he can meet me.”
“You sure I can’t talk you into just doing it over the phone?”
“Would you like it if someone did that to you?”
I winced. “Lily broke up with me in person. Ripped my heart out and stomped on it. Then she did worse to me over the phone… but I already told you all that. To be honest, yes, I would have rather she’d just done it all over the phone. I’d rather not have given her the satisfaction of letting her see how much she’d hurt me.”
Faith paled. “I hadn’t thought about that.”
“Just don’t do it via text,” I joked. “Faith, listen…”
“Yes?”
“Are you sure this is what you want?”
She looked confused as she gazed up at me. “This? You mean us?”
I didn’t answer, just continued to watch her.
“Why would you think this isn’t what I want?”
“Do you love him?”
“No!”
“But you said you did.”
“I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t want to hurt him!”
“Maybe you didn’t want to hurt him, but you sure seemed pretty excited about it last night.”
“I …”
I turned away and grabbed a hot pad to remove the pizzas from the oven. The delicious smell filled the room and my stomach grumbled. I’d skipped breakfast because we had overslept, and now I thought I might die of starvation.
“Xander!” Faith snarled my name, her exasperation obvious.
“Yes?”
“I get what this is about, you know.”
“Come and eat.”
“This isn’t over.”
The corners of my mouth turned up in a sad smile I knew full well didn’t reach my eyes. I slid the French bread pizzas onto plates and handed her one. “Beer?”
“Water, please. I don’t like beer.”
I grabbed the drinks and followed her to the table in an alcove off my kitchen.
“Xander, this is because I didn’t say it back, isn’t it?”
“Since you mention it, you said it to him even though you supposedly didn’t mean it, but you can’t say it to me. That’s all.” Jesus Christ! Was that out loud? Even I was blown away by how lame that sounded. “Also …”
“Xander…”
“Hear me out, Faith. I need to know that you’re here because you want to be. Like I said, you sounded so happy on the phone last night. Now you’re telling me that you don’t love him, but you were happy last night. I worry that I took that from you.”
“Look at me.”
I blew on my pizza to cool it, then took a bite.
“Please, Xander. Look at me.”
I did as she asked, our gazes locking. My pulse sped and my breath hitched. This was the effect she had on me. I couldn’t take it. It had to stop. I’d tell her now that I couldn’t do this, before I got any more attached.
“Faith, I–”
“No. Let me talk. Xander, when I interviewed you I was insanely attracted to you. I think you knew that. You made a joke of it. Remember? I couldn’t concentrate. It was all I could do to not contact you again for a follow-up interview, just for the chance to see you again. When I emailed you the article I’d written, I hoped you’d suggest seeing me… but you didn’t. I learned to accept it. You were out of my reach.” She smiled wistfully. “I was just an awkward twenty-year-old, a college student crushing on the famous athlete way out of her league. I met Jacob and he was nice to me. I settled, realizing my dreams were out of the realm of possibility. Then I ran into you again at the League. I wanted so badly for you to kiss me that night, but you left. I followed you around, spent as much time as I could with you, content to be at least friends. One day I’d be able to tell my grandkids I was once friends with Orlando’s most famous gymnast. When I called you last night, I could hear your pain and I knew I was making a huge mistake. I had to come here, and it was the best decision I could have made.”
I reached out and took her hand, unable to bear the distance between us any longer. She looked at our entwined fingers and smiled.
“Xander, my mind tells me we haven’t known each other long enough, but my soul feels like it’s found its other half. I can’t stand that you don’t realize how I feel. I said I’d drop Jacob for a chance with you because you are what I want. I want you to know that I’m saying this because it’s what I feel. I’m not just throwing around meaningless words to humor you or sooth your ego. I love you, Xander. It’s crazy and irrational, but I do.”
My breath caught in my throat. For a moment I was frozen. Then I reached out and stroked her cheek with my thumb. “Faith, you’ve made me so happy.”
“I’m happy, too. Will you meet me tonight after my show? Oh wait… you have cards tonight. Never mind.” She puckered for a kiss which I happily gave her.
“Nothing could keep me away from you tonight.”
“No. You should go. Don’t worry about me.”
“I’ll let you in on a secret. Those guys are great, but they don’t hold a candle to you. Plus, my chances of sex are much higher hanging out with you.” I smirked.
Her eyebrow arched in challenge. “So you’re saying you only love me for my body?” She jabbed me in the chest with her index finger.
“Actually…” I caressed her cheek, letting my hand drift up to her temple. “I love your mind. It was your
spirit that touched me that first night.” My hand lowered, down her neck and onto her chest. “I love this, too. Your heart. Your passion. I loved hearing you sing and hope to do that again, and soon. I love your courage, that you came here in the middle of the night just because you felt I needed you. I did need you, Faith. In every way. Also,” I grinned, “your body is a nice fringe benefit.”
My stomach growled loudly, killing the moment. “Come on. Let’s eat. Then I’ll have you for dessert.”
“I still need to call Jacob.”
I nodded. “Okay. After we eat. Then I’ll console you.” I shoved a huge bite in my mouth.
“You have a one-track mind!”
“Right now I do, yep. Eating.”
Faith laughed and dug into her own food.
After the last bite had been eaten, Faith pulled out her phone and checked the time. With a huge sigh, she tapped the screen and placed the call. I collected our dishes and stepped into the kitchen to rinse them. I was still close enough to see and hear her, but far enough to appear respectful and, with the water running, give the appearance of not eavesdropping.
“Um… hi, Jacob. It’s Faith. Listen, I need to talk to you. Give me a call when you get this message, okay? Bye.”
“He didn’t answer.” Faith was at my side in a moment. She pointed to the dirty dishes. “I can do that.”
“I’ve got it. I was just staying busy so I didn’t hover during your phone call.” I shut off the water. “What time do you need to go so you can get ready for your show?”
“We have warm-ups and go over any notes at five. I need to go home and change and get my stuff before that, though. I’d say I have about an hour. What did you have in mind?”
“Oh, I have a few ideas. First, though, I have to ask you a question.” I assumed a completely serious expression.
“What’s that?”
“Will you go out on a date with me?”
Faith burst into laughter and smacked me in the chest. “You scared me! You looked so serious.”
“I am serious.”
“Yes, goofy, I will go out on a date with you.”
“How’s tomorrow?”
Deeper In You (The Phoenix Series Book 2) Page 9