by Stasia Black
“Bel. Oh Jesus. Bel. I can’t— It’s so fucking good. I’m gonna—”
His movements got frantic. He yanked out and then jammed back in her ass. Over and over, just reaming her out and God, oh God, it was so dirty and so goddamned hot. She fucked herself with her fingers and rubbed her clit with her thumb.
“Fuck! Isobel!” He grabbed both her hips and shoved himself so far inside her, her eyes popped open wide. And she shoved her fingers in and out and ground at her clit until— until—
“Ohhhhhhhhhh—” She screamed, fingers digging into the seat as Hunter’s cum pumped into her ass and she rode out her own orgasm.
He slumped over her, breathing so hard it was like he’d just run a marathon. They were both sweaty and she was being mashed into the seat, but she barely cared.
“Shit, sorry Bel. Am I crushing you?” Hunter withdrew. He rustled behind her but she barely had the energy to look over her shoulder.
She felt limp and sated and for once, like everything was right in the world. It was such an unfamiliar, wonderful feeling, and she didn’t want it to end.
But a few seconds later, Hunter was helping her tug her pants back up her legs. It was awkward and she had to twist and stretch her legs at odd angles before she finally managed to get herself back in order. She avoided Hunter’s eyes. Because what now? After that insanely intense sex? Were they supposed to just—
“Hey.” Hunter’s voice was confident as he pulled her over to the passenger side and up onto his lap. He put his hand underneath her chin. “I meant it. No more games or misunderstandings or whatever the fuck’s been keeping us apart. You’re mine now.”
Isobel gripped his hand so tight she hoped it left a bruise. He wasn’t the only one who could leave marks. “And you’re mine.”
She didn’t know what all that meant. What kind of commitment he was claiming, if any at all. Maybe he just meant she was his in this moment. Right here, right now, they owned each other completely. That was true enough. As for the future…
But thinking of the future only brought up the past. Would Hunter be holding her so snugly if he knew what kind of person she really was?
Fear lodged in her throat. How long before she failed him just like she did everybody? No more running, he’d said. But it was what she did best.
Not this time, she whispered internally. Not this time.
But as Hunter kissed her shoulder blades reverently as he slipped out of her ass, she wondered if she’d ever be capable of staying and being the woman he thought she was. She knew better. She’d fall apart again and he’d see her for the weakling she really was. She could hardly bear the thought of it.
“We should get going,” she said, slipping off his lap.
Hunter grumbled something that sounded like assent but the next second he was pulling her back and kissing her breathless. He kissed all other thoughts out of her head.
When he kissed her like that, for just a moment, he made her believe that anything was possible.
Chapter 20
ISOBEL
“Well look who actually came home for once,” Mel teased Isobel over breakfast several weeks later. Isobel’s cheeks went pink.
It was true, she had been spending more nights at Hunter’s cabin than at home lately. But ever since they’d reconnected—as in really reconnected—in the truck that afternoon, well, they couldn’t get enough of each other.
It was work all morning in the clinic, then out to farm calls in the afternoon. Hunter was finally taking a hands-on role in her internship and she was learning more than she would have ever thought possible back in her stuffy Cornell classes. There was nothing like up close and personal experience with the animals.
Hunter was patient as he helped her learn the difference between how a heifer’s ovaries felt when she was ovulating and ready to breed and when she wasn’t at peak cycle. They’d been called out for more calvings than she could count since it was the season for it—they didn’t always end happily, but she learned more and grew more confident with each one. While there was nothing to be done about stillborn calves sometimes, they hadn’t lost a mother cow yet.
Isobel had always known that working with horses made her feel good, but she hadn’t expected the bone-deep satisfaction of saving an animal’s life that people depended on for their livelihood. They were both saving an animal and helping people. It brought an insane rush of adrenaline each time. If she were doomed to be an addict, she might as well channel her impulses toward healthy obsessions.
“You just let us know if that boy isn’t treating you right,” Mel’s husband Xavier said gruffly. Several of the other guys at the table chimed in, agreeing with him.
Isobel smiled at Xavier. “Hunter’s great.”
Xavier just grunted. “He better be.”
It had taken Isobel a little while to get used to Xavier’s scarred face. He was such a big man, and then with his face—it was hard not to be intimidated. But then she saw how clearly his wife and sons adored him and after a few weeks she barely noticed the scarring anymore. His older son especially seemed to idolize him. Even though Reece was officially manny to both boys, Dean spent half his day out shadowing Xavier, imitating whatever his father was doing.
Currently, Dean was sitting across the table from Isobel, crammed in between his brother and his father. “Daddy, Daddy.” He grabbed at his father’s giant forearm while Xavier lifted a biscuit to his mouth. “Can we go now? Look, I finished my spinach.” He held up his empty plate for his father’s inspection. “You said I could ride with you if I ate it. Can we go?”
“Me come too!” said Brent, turning and standing up on his chair, holding the back of it for balance.
“Whoa, buddy,” Reece said, snatching Brent up and setting him back on his bottom. The little boy jumped right back up again like a jack in the box. “I wanna go with Daddy and Dean!”
Dean rolled his eyes.
It was such an exasperated expression to see on a six-year-old that Isobel had to choke back a laugh.
“Tell you what, bud,” Xavier stood up, wiping his mouth with his napkin as he went, “later today when I finish up my work, you and me will go around and pet the horses together. Just you and me. Deal?”
“I wanna go now!” the little boy shrieked.
“Whoa, Brent,” Reece said, “that’s not how we talk to—”
But Xavier already had Brent up in his arms, his face only inches away from the little boy. “Do you want to have special time with Daddy later or not?”
The little boy’s lip trembled, his face uncertain. “I wanna go now.”
Xavier arched a warning eyebrow. “Do I need to count?”
The little boy’s eyes widened and he shook his head. “No, daddy. I be good.”
Xavier smiled and his whole face warmed. “You’re always my good boy. Daddy loves you.” He rubbed noses with his son, then tossed him up in the air and caught him again. Brent shrieked and giggled.
“Xav, don’t,” Mel said when he went to toss him again. “All his breakfast will come back up.”
“One more time?” Both father and son looked pleadingly at Mel. She waved a hand and rolled her eyes. “Don’t come crying to me if you end up with pancake all over you.”
Up Brent went into the air again. Then Xavier kissed him on the top of his head and patted his behind before sitting him back down in his chair.
Isobel took a last bite of her eggs and bagel before moving her chair back when Liam came and grabbed the seat beside her that Jeremiah had just vacated.
“So, birthday girl, what kind of cake do you want Nicholas to bake for dinner tonight?”
“Oh that’s right,” Mel said, raising a hand to her head, “I almost forgot. Happy birthday, Isobel.”
Isobel waved a hand. “Oh. It’s nothing.”
“It’s not nothing,” Reece said, wiping Brent’s face with a napkin. “Your birthday should be the most special day of the year.”
“Which is why you’ve got
ta tell us your favorite cake and liquor so we can have both on hand for dinner.”
“That’s so sweet, guys.” Isobel put a hand on Liam’s arm. “But Hunter’s actually taking me out on a date tonight.”
“Well of course he is. He’d be a brute not to wine and dine his girlfriend on her big day.”
Liam’s words made her freeze. Girlfriend? Yeah, she guessed she sort of was. Not that she and Hunter had sat down and made it official or anything.
Everything was just so wonderful… which was terrifying. It was like she was floating in some dream bubble and any second it would pop. Then she’d come crashing back down to reality. And it would be ten times more crushing to bear because she’d glimpsed what crazy happy could feel like.
“So we celebrate tomorrow,” Liam continued. “Still need to know what kind of cake. Your American desserts are disgustingly sweet, but when in Rome,” he shrugged and grinned. “I’m trying to develop my sweet tooth. So what’ll it be?”
Isobel shook her head at everyone around the table staring at her expectantly. “Well, I actually don’t like cake either. When I was little, my mom used to always bake me an apple pie on my birthday. It sort of became tradition.”
“That’s sweet,” Reece said, hiking the little boy onto his hip. Only Reece could pull off such a maternal move and not seem a bit effeminate.
“Apple pie it is,” Nicholas said. “Do you like crumble or pastry topping?”
“Crumble, if you know how. But really, you don’t have to go through the trouble if you—”
“Consider it done.”
Isobel couldn’t help smiling as she walked out the door. The longer she stayed here, the longer everyone started to feel like the family she’d never had.
A thought which had the smile falling from her face. Because again, when was the other shoe going to drop?
God, did she have to be such a fatalist all the time? Maybe some people actually got to have a happily ever after?
Chapter 21
HUNTER
Hunter finished his pork chops and then just sat watching Isobel as she took dainty bites of her burger. He kept waiting for it to get old—watching her, finding out new little quirks of hers, waiting to find some habit that annoyed the hell out of him. Hunter hadn’t done a ton of dating before Janine because well, he just hadn’t found that many women that he wanted to spend time with.
Either they were interested in things he found mind-numbingly boring or they wanted more of his attention than he had to give. Or they wanted to change him. Or their voices were too shrill. Or they wanted to call him daddy in bed—
Yeah. He hadn’t been big on the whole dating thing. But Isobel was just— Jesus, even when they were fighting he was still enthralled by her. And lately since they hadn’t been fighting, he’d been able to find out even more about the way her intelligent mind worked. They talked for hours in the car between farm calls, and—
“What?” Isobel’s eyes widened. “Do I have something on my face?” She immediately brought her napkin up and swiped around her mouth.
“No,” Hunter laughed. “You’re gorgeous as ever. The most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my life, actually.”
She frowned and looked down at the tablecloth. She hadn’t talked much throughout dinner. Actually she’d gone quiet about halfway through doing the rounds of farm calls this afternoon. Hunter hadn’t pressed it because he knew there were days he didn’t feel like talking much and he hated it when people constantly pestered him to know what he was thinking. Sometimes he just wanted to drive and let his mind wander.
But now he wondered if there wasn’t more to it. Isobel looked upset.
“I wish you wouldn’t say things like that.” She set her burger down on her plate and pushed it away from her. Was she not hungry? He knew firsthand the burger tasted amazing. She’d offered him a bite earlier.
“Say things like what?”
She glanced up at him and then back down at her plate. “Never mind.” She waved a hand but he could tell by the way her brow was furrowed that she was upset about something.
“Bel, talk to me. What’s going on?”
Her jaw flexed and she grabbed her napkin, scrunching it into a ball between her fingers. He thought he was going to have to spend the next ten minutes pulling it out of her but she finally started talking. “Guys usually have a type when it comes to women, right?”
Um. What? Where was she going with this? Hunter slowly shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess?”
Apparently that was the wrong answer. She nodded, looking like she was about to start crying even as she stood up and yanked her purse over her shoulder. “I’m tired. I’m gonna turn in early and—”
Hunter jumped to his feet and moved to stop her. “Bel. It’s your birthday. We haven’t even—”
But she was already hurrying to the door. And goddammit, all eyes in the diner were on them. Jesus. The diner was Gossip Central. Not the place to be having this conversation. Or argument. Or whatever the hell was going on.
Then again, Isobel was almost out the door. Swearing, Hunter fumbled for his wallet and threw a few twenties on the table, then rushed after her.
Outside on the sidewalk in front of the diner, he finally grasped her arm and spun her so she was forced to look at him. Only to find tears running down her cheeks. “Bel—”
She jerked out of his grasp. “I saw the framed wedding picture you keep in your glove compartment earlier when I was looking for hand sanitizer.” Her eyes were both devastated and accusing as they flashed up at him. “You keep a picture of her in your truck? I guess you’re not as over her as you pretend to be.”
Hunter felt like she’d punched him in the chest. He couldn’t help taking a step back from her.
She just started nodding rapidly. “That’s what I thought. And I’m not exactly your type, am I? I’m not skinny or blonde or—” She broke off and shook her head. “Just forget it.”
Hunter heaved out a deep breath and ran a hand into his hair. Christ. How did he even begin to untangle all this?
“Jesus, Bel, it’s not about being blonde or— I mean, if I think about it I guess you and Janine do have some things in common.” Speaking Janine’s name hadn’t hurt as much as he expected it to.
And suddenly he wanted to tell Isobel about her. As much for Isobel’s sake as his own. He took a step closer to her, speaking quietly as he reached for her hand. She let him take it. “Janine was strong. And stubborn.” He felt the familiar twinge in his chest every time he thought about her. “She was a good woman. Passionate. Rebellious.” He smiled sadly.
“Do you still love her?”
Hunter let his eyes drift, thinking about the small blonde firecracker he had married. They’d made so many mistakes, but he liked to think the love had been genuine. He nodded. “I hope some part of me will always love her.”
Isobel yanked her hand out of his and she backed up several steps. More tears shone in her eyes. Seeing her like that made Hunter’s chest ache.
“Isobel, wait.” Hunter started to follow her but she held up a hand.
“If you love your ex so much, maybe you should go find her and be having dinner with her.”
Then, before he could grab her hand again, she turned and hurried down the sidewalk.
“Isobel. Isobel!” he called as she strode down the sidewalk, not looking back.
He jogged and caught up with her just as she reached her car that was parked on the street in front of the diner. “Isobel, stop. Shit. I didn’t realize you thought—” He grabbed her shoulders and forced her to turn around when she didn’t move.
Her mouth was pinched and she refused to look up at him.
Fuck. There was nothing to do but come out with it. “Janine died a little over a year ago.”
If he thought saying her name was hard it was nothing to uttering that sentence. He felt like he’d been punched in the stomach as soon as he got it out. He dropped Isobel’s shoulders and put a hand against h
er car to steady himself.
“What? Oh my God, Hunter. The night we met, you just said she left, so I assumed…” she trailed off and Hunter ran a hand through his hair.
“Yeah. I haven’t been so great at being able to talk about it. Or deal with it. At all. I even kept on paying her cell phone bill so I could call and hear her voice. It’s only just recently that I’ve been able to…” Hunter paused as a middle-aged woman walked past with a big dog on a leash. The sun had just set and while there weren’t a lot of people around, there were still some.
“Want to take a walk?” He held out his hand to her.
She nodded and took it. As soon as he felt her small hand in his, he felt calmer. Like maybe he could tell the story after all. For the first time since giving his statement to the police that night.
“She hated living in a small town. Almost from the first day we moved in.” He explained a little about how things had gotten worse and worse toward the end.
“It was one of those nights after we’d, well,” he looked away, “been intimate. But then right afterwards, she left to go sleep on the couch. I got pissed. I followed her and we started fighting.”
Hunter remembered every detail of that night. Janine had been wearing his ratty old Purdue shirt to sleep in. She was beautiful but he hadn’t been able to see it. He was so tired of the rut they’d fallen into.
“What do you want from me?” he’d demanded.
She accused him of not loving her.
“Not love you?” he scoffed. “You think I’d put up with all this bullshit if I didn’t love you?”
Her eyes flashed with fury and she got right up in his face. “You don’t even know me! If you knew me at all, you’d know I could never be happy out here in the bu-fuck middle of nowhere, living with all these uncultured hicks. I want to talk to someone who’s read this week’s New Yorker. I want to go to the theater. I want to go to poetry readings and wine tastings and then I want to put on a skimpy sequin dress and go clubbing and then in the morning I want to go eat a bagel and lox at Benny’s on the corner of Broadway and Bleecker.”