by L. P. Dover
“Before I tell you what happened, I need you to know that I’m not going to make excuses. I was stupid and there was a time when I sunk to a new low. The story was kept out of the papers because I spent a lot of money keeping it secret.”
Bottle after bottle, I watched Cooper take them into the bathroom and flush its contents, his face a stony mask of regret. “Cooper, just tell me,” I begged. “I don’t like seeing you like this.”
Angrily, he grabbed a few more bottles and dumped them. “The doctor my mom referred to was a woman I was fucking, Kate. She lost her medical license because of what we did.”
“What did you do?” I asked nervously.
Swallowing hard, he flushed another bottle of pills and came to kneel before me, his voice pained and raw. “The deal was that if I slept with her she’d give me a bottle of pills. It was payment for what I did for her.”
Eyes wide, I gasped and glanced at all the bottles, then up to him. “Holy shit,” I cried.
“Yes, I know, you don’t have to say it,” he said, cutting me off before I could say anything else. “It’s disgusting and I’m sure you’re wondering why the hell I did it?”
Grabbing a few more bottles, he held them in his hand—his chest heaving up and down in anger—and it was like everything within him finally snapped. His arm reared back and he threw them against the wall, hard, scattering pills everywhere. I yelped, jumping back in surprise. Turning his back on me, he faced the window and fisted his hands in his hair.
“All I wanted was the pills, Kate. At that time in my life everything was a fucking disaster. The girl I thought I’d spend the rest of my life with left me for someone else, and then not long after that I got injured. You saw what my parents are like, so you know they weren’t supportive. All they cared about was when I’d get better to get back on the field. When Oakland didn’t want me anymore, that was the last straw. The pain meds helped me cope with it all.”
“Who was your doctor?” I asked. “How did you even get that set up to exchange pills for sex?”
Releasing a heavy sigh, Cooper sat on the edge of the bed and kept his back to me. “I’m not going anywhere, Cooper,” I promised. “Just answer the questions.” When he didn’t say anything, I got up and stood in front of him, tilting up his head with a hand to his cheek.
His blue gaze penetrated mine … so sad and distraught. “Are you sure I haven’t scared you off yet?”
“Not yet,” I answered wholeheartedly. “It takes a lot more than that to scare me off.”
He scoffed, “Well, sit tight because I’m not done yet. My doctor had been my regular physician for years. She was a friend of my parents, and I knew a lot about her personal life. I knew she had problems with her husband, so one day when I was getting low on pills I decided to seduce her. I didn’t want to, but I knew she’d give in. Over time I used my advantage with her to ask for the pills. Her husband eventually found out and turned her in, along with filing for a divorce as well. So needless to say, she lost her license and her husband all in one day. When he threatened to go to the press, I paid him off … and her along with him.”
Lowering his gaze, he took my hands and kissed them gently. “That’s what happened, Kate. As of tonight, I’m not taking any more of these pills. I don’t care what kind of withdrawals I go through. I just want this part of my life over.”
“You know what will happen if you do that. It’s not going to be easy, Cooper,” I replied, trying to reason with him. “It’s not a smart thing to do.”
“I don’t care, Kate. It needs to stop … now.”
There were still tons of bottles on his bed, so I took a deep breath and picked one up, taking it to the bathroom. “What are you doing?” he asked.
Dumping the pills into the toilet, I threw away the bottle and grabbed another one. “I’m helping you, Cooper, because that’s what I want to do. I’m not going anywhere. If this is what you really want to do, then you’re going to need as much support as you can. I’m not going to leave you.”
Cooper jumped to his feet and wrapped his strong arms tightly around my body. “You have no idea how much this means to me, Kate. I don’t understand why you’re even doing it. You deserve someone so much better.”
Leaning up on my tiptoes, I closed my eyes and kissed him gently on the lips. “I deserve you, Cooper. I thought it would be quite obvious why I’m helping you. You should already know why.”
“Yes … but one day I want to hear you say it.”
The next morning was brutal.
I knew something was wrong when I woke up drenched in not my sweat, but Cooper’s. He lay there shivering, but his skin was warm to the touch. He had already gone through some symptoms last week with reducing his medication, but it was nowhere near what he was experiencing now. I had no idea how long it was going to be like that either.
“Cooper,” I murmured, wiping the dampened hair off of his forehead. His eyes were closed, but I knew he was awake. Wrapping my arm around his stomach I kissed his bare bicep and rested my cheek against his skin. “Cooper, you can do this. You just have to work through it. I know it feels like you’re sick, and I’m sure you’re body hurts like hell, but it will pass. The best thing to do is to keep busy and keep your mind clear.”
“How … long … will this last?” he muttered, his teeth chattering as he spoke.
“It all depends. The symptoms can last from five to ten days.”
Groaning, he sat up in bed and put his head in his hands. “Fuck! How am I going to do this? I didn’t realize it was going to be this hard.”
Last night, I wanted to tell him how difficult it was going to be, but I didn’t want to discourage him. He had been so hell bent on stopping that I had no choice but to support him. Taking Cooper’s hands, I pulled them away from his face and kissed his lips. “I have faith in you, Cooper Davis. You’re the NFL’s star quarterback, and not to mention, you’re one hell of a star in bed. There’s nothing you can’t do, and nothing you can’t overcome. This is your chance to prove everyone wrong … like your parents. Show them that nothing can bring you down and that you will succeed.”
Squeezing my hands, he glanced up at me with his crystal blue gaze. “You believe in me that much?”
I nodded. “And I always will. Right now, you need to get ready for practice. I’ll be there every step of the way.”
“What if I can’t do this, Kate? I feel like complete and utter shit, and all I want to do right now is hit something. I feel angry, agitated. My teeth hurt from gritting them so hard and my heart is pounding so fast it feels like it’s going to explode.” He closed his eyes and hung his head. “What if I do something to hurt you? There’s so many things going through my mind right now, and none of it’s good.”
“Like what kinds of things?” I asked nervously. “The only way you’re going to hurt me is if you do something to hurt yourself.”
“It’s nothing like that, Kate.”
“Then what is it? You know you can tell me.”
Aggression and agitation were two of the main side effects to withdrawals, and I could see it in the tenseness in his body that his concerns were not of hurting himself … but actually hurting me.
Slowly, Cooper lifted his head, his eyes feral and possessive as he trailed them down my body. I swallowed hard and licked my lips, my heart thundering in my chest. “Are you sure you want to know?” he growled, pushing me back onto the bed.
When I nodded, he spread my legs with his knees and pushed his hard cock against me. Looking down at my breasts, he bit his lip and squeezed my breast hard, making my nipple pucker. “Seeing you in my shirt and in my bed makes me so fucking horny I can’t stand it. I know you’re mine, but all I want to do is fuck you so hard that you won’t want to think about another man. I want to see my marks on that perfect skin of yours, I want to flip you around and grab a handful of your hair while I fuck you from behind.”
Groaning, he sat up on his knees and angrily fisted his hands in his hai
r. When he looked down at me his eyes were wild, feral. “You see, Kate. I feel the angst inside of me and all I can focus on is fucking you senseless. I don’t want to hurt you, but the longer you’re here the more I want you. Maybe it’s best that you leave.”
I wasn’t afraid of Cooper, but there was one thing I knew for certain … he wouldn’t hurt me. The stuff going through his head would subside, and in a man with his sexual nature I knew it would only intensify once he got off the pills. Pain pills were known to subdue the libido, and now that it was out of his system it would no longer be a hindrance. It wasn’t a hindrance before; except now it was a whole new ball game.
I would do anything to help him, and if it meant letting him have his way with me then I’d let him. “I’m not leaving you, Cooper. If you want me, then take me. There’s one thing about me that you may not know … I don’t break easily. Do what you have to do to get your mind off of everything. If that means you have to have sex with me ten times a day then so be it.”
For once, a smile spread across his face, but it didn’t last long. “You’re serious, aren’t you?”
Now it was my turn to push him down on the bed. I lifted the shirt off my body and tossed it onto the floor, along with my underwear. The tip of his cock protruded out of his boxers, so I grabbed him firmly with my hand and flicked my tongue across it.
“Does this answer your question?”
Fisting his hands in my hair, he held on tight as I sucked him hard, moving my mouth up and down the length of his cock. A little rough sex wouldn’t hurt, and if I was truly honest with myself I was actually kind of looking forward to it.
Five Days Later
The past few days went by in a blur. It was almost as if Cooper’s mind was in another world, struggling to come back. I didn’t know what I was bargaining for when I agreed to this, but it was all worth it to see the smile on his face when he slipped out of bed this morning. My Cooper was back, and it was over.
“Love, you awake up there?” Cooper yelled from downstairs. “Breakfast is almost ready.”
While he’d slept during the past couple of days, I’d snuck off to my house to grab some clean clothes and document everything that happened in my notebook. From the way he woke up this morning all happy and relaxed, I started to believe that he did let his mind retreat to another place. During practice, everyone thought he was sick. They’d kept their distance, and even threatened to kick his ass if he didn’t go home and get rest. I didn’t dare tell anyone what was going on, not even my brother or Joel.
Thankfully, I was going to be able to put the ending words in my notebook: Mission Accomplished.
Putting on one of my long-sleeved T-shirts and pajama pants, I quickly used the bathroom and washed my face … only to gasp when I looked at myself in the mirror. Even though it felt good while Cooper did it, I had red marks all up my neck from the stubble of his beard. He hadn’t shaved all week, but I prayed the redness went away before the game tonight. September had finally come, but it was still hot outside and the last thing I wanted to do was wear a turtleneck. I had makeup, but I didn’t exactly want to douse my neck in foundation.
The marks on my arms and legs were another story. I had hoped they would go away before he saw them, but now that he was back to normal I knew he would see them if he got me into bed. When I got downstairs, Cooper smiled and scooped me up into his arms. My body was so sore I cringed, but bit my lip to hold in the gasp.
“Thank you for standing by me this week, Kate. I can’t tell you how much it means to me. I’ll admit, it’s all kind of a haze and I don’t remember too much, but in the center of it all you were there. Your voice was what I heard.”
“Well, I told you I wouldn’t leave you,” I replied wholeheartedly. “Do you think you’re ready for the game this afternoon?”
Cooper scoffed, “Of course, I am! Except I wanted to ask you if you wouldn’t mind if we skipped the after party tonight. I know this week had to be hard on you, and I thought it would be a good idea if I made it up to you.”
“What did you have in mind?” I asked, smiling from ear to ear.
“Well, I was thinking that since we hadn’t been out on an official date since we started seeing each other, I figured it was time we let the world know we’re together. Are you ready for that?”
“Only if you are,” I teased. “You know that if your women fans see us together you might lose some of them. When you’re not accessible you’re not as appealing to them anymore.”
He gazed at me incredulously. “I don’t care about that, Kate. I don’t want any other woman … I want you. I want them all to know that you’re mine. Now let’s eat and get ready for the game so I can show you off.”
“Shouldn’t it be the other way around? I’m not anything worth showing off, Cooper. I’m not like the models or the rich girls you were seen with out in California. You’re probably going to get hell for being with me.”
“No, I’m not,” he scoffed. “If anything, you are going to get hell. That’s why I want to make sure this is what you want before we start really going public. This is your chance to turn back.”
I leaned up to kiss him gently on the lips. “I told you before and I’ll tell you again … I’m not going anywhere.” That was a promise.
For once in my life I wasn’t in any pain. My shoulder felt the best it had ever been since I injured it and I had Kate to thank for that. I never realized how much better I’d feel by getting clean.
We were in the locker room getting ready to run out and take the field when Evan came up beside me and said, “You look like you’re feeling better today. I must admit the guys and I were worried that you’d flake out on us. You weren’t looking too good this week.”
“Yeah, I wasn’t feeling good at all,” I replied cautiously. “But I think I’m better now.”
“Great! Then you and Kate can come to the party tonight. It’s going to be at Derek’s.”
“I can’t,” I told him, before he could walk away. “I have plans to take your sister out tonight.”
Evan had his back to me, but he turned around slowly and waltzed back over to me. “So you’re choosing my sister over the team tonight?”
“Yes, I am. Is that a problem?”
He stared at me for a moment, but then laughed and slapped me on the arm. “Nope, not at all. There’s going to be strippers at the party tonight, so I guess it’s a good thing you’re not going to be there. I’d hate to kick your ass for drooling over them when you have my sister, especially since Luke seems to not stop talking about her. I didn’t want to ask you when you were sick because you literally looked like you could rip someone’s head off, but he told me about this letter you found. You didn’t write it, did you?”
“What? Hell no, I didn’t write it. Kate chose me before the note even got written. Why would I even do that?” I asked incredulously.
Evan shrugged. “I don’t know, but Luke says he didn’t either. If he didn’t then that means someone else did. I’d like to know who. Whatever’s going on it involves my sister and I don’t like it.”
“And you believe that Luke didn’t do it?” I asked.
He didn’t think twice before responding, “Yes, I do. Luke can be many things, but he wouldn’t lie to me about this. He was the one who came to me. Do you mind asking Kate if she thinks it could be anyone else?”
Sighing, I hung my head and closed my eyes; I knew I should have just told her. “That might be a problem. I never told her about the letter.”
Evan’s eyes went wide. “Why not? Luke figured that was why Kate’s ignored his calls this week. He thought she was mad at him. I think she needs to know.”
Now more than ever I thought so, too. If Luke wasn’t the one who put the note on my car, then who did?
“I’ll tell her later tonight after we go on our date,” I told him. “I don’t want to ruin the evening by telling her before then. Now all we need to do is figure out who put it on my car. Is there anyone else w
ho has a thing for your sister?”
Evan shrugged. “I’m not sure. She’s only ever around the team, so if it’s someone who likes her it could be one of the others. Tonight after your date ask her if any of the guys have been coming on to her. It might give us an idea on who it could be.”
“And if it happens to be someone on the team?” I asked.
“Then we kick his ass,” he replied, cracking his knuckles, “just like we’re going to do to the Seahawks this afternoon. Don’t worry, though, we’ll figure it all out. Right now we need to get our heads in the game.”
Easier said than done when I wanted answers.
The time had come for the game, and now a new worry had fallen in my lap. I hadn’t thought more on the note until now, and as I watched each and every single player walk out of the locker room, I couldn’t imagine that one of them would stab me in the back. If there was one thing I knew for certain, I had to keep my eyes open.
We were up by six points in the fourth quarter with only one minute left to spare. It was anyone’s game so we couldn’t celebrate yet. The call was for me to reverse the play to our running back and have him pass it off to Evan. The only problem I had with that play was that there was too much room for error. My uncle was going to kick my ass, but I had to go with my instinct.
Our full back, Ashton Blake, was one of the fastest runners we had, and that was what I needed at the moment. If we went with our current running back and counted on him to pass the ball to Evan we’d be screwed. I would rather just pass the ball to Evan myself and be done with it, but the Seahawks knew that Evan was my prime choice. I had to switch it up.
“It’s coming to you, Ash,” I whispered low as I passed him to get into position.