by Anya Breton
“No.”
He wouldn’t let up on it, asking, “Just didn’t want it?”
“I walk everywhere,” I reminded him shortly. “And if I can’t walk to it, then I don’t really need to go there.”
“But there’s so much around here that you can’t get to by walking: Vermont, Maine, Canada,” he said the last almost wistfully.
I didn’t understand what it was about Canada that got everyone so excited.
“I’m good with the Hill until college.” It was a fib. I wanted more than anything to be able to get out of Junction Hill as soon as I could. At the rate we were going, I doubted I’d be able to afford to go to the Tech school let alone a college far from home.
“Where are you thinking of going?”
I glanced at him in confusion. “Hmm?”
His handsome face tilted closer. “To college?”
Addled by the proximity and the question, I stammered, “Oh. I don’t know. I haven’t started looking. Probably someplace warm.”
He offered up an answer to his own question. “I’ll probably go to the same one my dad went to.”
“Which is that?”
“Eastern Illinois.”
I shook my head quickly while turning to him. “Eastern Illinois? I’ve never heard of it.”
“My dad went there because he liked the mascot. He’s got a thing for black panthers.”
My eyes rounded to saucers. He held my gaze firmly until I glanced away. Had Alex admitted that aloud in front of the cameras?
He continued speaking. “Panther is just another word for cougar but he likes to use it instead. He claims it sounds more exotic. Did you know that black panthers are melanistic? It’s the opposite of albinism and a genetic mutation. If you look closely at them you can see the markings in their fur like printed silk. It’s actually cool.”
“Neat,” I said in distraction because I was still wondering why he’d brought this up. And I was still wondering if he could actually shift into an animal. It was too unreal.
“My mom likes white panthers best,” he added. “She says they’re mellower.”
“That must cause arguments.”
There was a wealth of meaning to his final statement. “Sometimes, but in the end Mom always supports Dad.”
I knew we weren’t talking about the white versus black panther discussion any longer. Had he told me that to make me feel better? It hadn’t.
As we neared the fenced-off boarded-up elementary school our chat ended. There was a portion of fencing that had been forced apart. We headed for it.
Carefully we stepped around broken stone, shattered glass and wooden splinters within the school’s old yard. Several of the basement windows were uncovered. In the darkness within I thought I could make out eyes. I shivered without realizing it, worried that those weren’t simply people in there. What if they were vampires?
“It looks like we might have found some squatters in despair,” Alex whispered. “I’ll be right back.”
I watched him take his camera to one of the larger uncovered windows and slip inside. Instantly I began to worry. Even if they were homeless people, what if the squatters had weapons? What if they didn’t appreciate their home being invaded by a punk kid with a camera?
A flash of light startled me. Then two more followed. The click of the shutter closing was audible but quiet. Moments later Alex appeared again.
He dusted off white powder from his black pants. “I think I got what I needed here.”
“Okay,” I drawled in a perplexed voice.
Alex started for the opening in the fence. “What’s next?”
I gestured in the appropriate directions as the ideas came to me. “Um, there’s the old asylum a half mile that way that we’ve already been to and an old mill down by the river. ”
“Let’s do the mill next,” Alex said.
I decided I was in no hurry to go home.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
There was a strange tugging sensation on my sleeve seconds after we’d started walking from the school. I turned back to find Guy’s face instead of the camera directly behind me. He looked at Alex who had also turned. “Can you drop me off at her apartment on the way? We don’t need two cameras on you at the same time.”
“Sure,” Alex agreed with a half-smile.
I returned my attention forward, stealthily gnawing on the left edge of my lip. Guy had been a silent buffer. If he left me I’d be nearly alone with Alex.
To the black Chevy Cobalt we walked, part of the way in silence. As I was coming to expect, Alex didn’t let us walk quietly for long.
“When do you think it will snow?”
“Usually around the beginning of November,” I said while checking the clouds for rain.
His response was a grumbled, “That soon?”
Spying a chance to poke at him I replied, “Yup and it will continue right through until the end of March.”
Alex slowed with an expression of absolute horror filling his face as he stumbled over his feet. “Nonstop?”
I laughed at the reaction. I’d let him off the hook this time because he’d eventually find out the truth. “No. But if we get a good coating and it stays cold then the snow won’t melt until spring.”
“Ugh,” he grumbled, resuming the walk. “I’m both dreading it and excited. I’ve never seen snow in person.”
The idea of never seeing snow in person had never occurred to me. If he’d never seen it in person then he wouldn’t know about the bad parts. “It’s not as neat as it seems on television. It gets dirty quick but they never show the brown stuff on TV.”
“Will you go sledding with me?”
I turned in surprise at his seemingly sudden question. His hopeful expression was so adorable that I couldn’t help but laugh nervously. “I haven’t been sledding since I was ten. I wouldn’t even know where to go now.”
With a soft smile he replied, “We’ll figure it out together.”
“We may have to because I can’t picture you on a sled.” I grinned playfully. “It will be good for a laugh.”
His eyes went a little wide. “You’d laugh at me?”
“Oh, yes.” I nodded slowly for emphasis as I held the words out.
Alex feigned a hurt expression. “That isn’t very nice.”
My shoulders lifted in an irreverent shrug that punctuated my reply. “Never said I was.”
His answer was soft. “I think you are.”
I shot a sidelong look at him, seeing he was sincere. “You seem to have some weird opinions, Mr. Chattan.”
“Mr. Chattan,” he echoed. There was an uneasy laugh following it. “That’s my dad.”
The reminder of his family made me clamp my mouth shut. Alex sighed, perhaps understanding why I had. He didn’t speak again until we were seated in the car. It looked the same as it had before, still clean and free from wrappers.
After turning down the volume on a song I’d never heard but thought I might like, he looked at me and asked a dumb question. “So where do you live?”
I turned in confusion. He knew where I lived. He’d dropped me off there.
But the cameras were on us. As far as the documentary was concerned, Alex knew next to nothing about me and I him.
“Down on Eagle Drive.” I pointed to the opposite side of the parking lot. “Take a left onto that road and I’ll tell you where to go from there.”
He started in the direction I’d pointed and commented lightly. “I bet you know all of the shortcuts.”
“For walking, yeah.”
“Ah, right.” He glanced at me in between turning onto the street. “Is that why you work at Burning Idea? Because its within walking distance?”
I bobbed my head in answer. “That and Felix was the first one to offer me a job after I’d interviewed at a few places.”
“Where else did you interview?”
“The pharmacy, Hallmark and the tuxedo shop that used to be down there.”
“Tuxed
o shop?” His eyebrows lifted. “I bet that would be boring.”
I did too. “Yeah, I’m glad I took the job at Burning Idea. I get to do homework there when it’s dead.”
The Cobalt soon pulled up in front of the apartment building. Guy grunted several times as he struggled to get out of the small backseat of the four-door car with his camera. He turned back to wave from the sidewalk.
“Bye, Aeon,” he called to me.
I waved for him. “See you tomorrow, Guy.”
“Guy?” Alex queried after his cameraman shut the door and mine started walking toward his rental car.
Again my head bobbed in agreement. “That’s his name. Guy the camera guy.”
Alex shook his head while driving forward. “I don’t even know my camera guy’s name. I didn’t know we were allowed to speak to them.”
I leaned back in my seat until I could see Alex’s camera guy. “What’s your name, camera guy?”
“Peter,” was the masculine answer we received.
“Hi, Peter. I’m Aeon and this is Alex.” Back to the front I faced but not before casting Alex a triumphant smile. “See? He talks and even has a name.”
The camera guy chuckled from the back seat.
“I think its funny that you’re shy at school and yet you made friends with your camera guy before I even considered it,” Alex commented with a shake of his head.
“Well, we did almost get flattened by a drunk driver,” I told him. Lifting my eyebrows knowingly at him I added, “Then there was that freak attack on my co-worker when Guy got knocked to the ground. He and I have already been through a lot together. I figured if he was going to be following me around for six months then we might as well learn each other’s names.”
Alex’s lips lowered into a frown at the mention of his “freak attack”. I hoped he felt bad. There had been no need for it and Trey was still nursing the wound.
“Besides, I can be not-shy when I want to be,” I added.
“Do you want to be not-shy with me?” He was watching me when he should be paying attention to the road. By the expectant look in his eye, I knew what answer he wanted.
But I couldn’t give it to him yet. Instead I said, “I haven’t decided yet.”
The road claimed his attention once again.
I let out the air I hadn’t realized I’d been holding in when he didn’t growl or slash me with claws.
Alex spoke without looking away from the windshield. “I’ve been wondering something since class. Why did you offer to go on this photo shoot with me today out of the blue?”
My cheeks flushed a little because I hadn’t expected to have to explain why I’d done it. “To be perfectly honest, the twins were yakking about rumors involving you and it made me feel bad for you.”
Alex let out a breathy laugh, a sound that might have been incredulous. “This is a pity date?”
My eyebrows lifted at him. “This is a date?”
His lips slid together as the smile faded. “I guess not.”
Now I felt bad again. He seemed to be good at garnering sympathy from me. “I didn’t exactly have time to get all dolled up or anything,” I added in an effort to sooth any ruffled feathers.
It apparently worked because he was smiling again. “Then I’ll have to try again. I’m dying to see what you look like ‘dolled up’.”
“It’s this,” I gestured to myself. “But I pull a comb through my hair twice.”
Alex’s laugh was lyrical and lovely this time.
It was too nice a sound in my opinion so I focused my attention on the passing street, commenting, “You’ll want to take the next left. Then two blocks after that you’ll turn right.”
With the quick turns in the route to keep him occupied, I was saved from further discussion of dates. It was abundantly clear now that Alex Chattan did in fact like me. His admission in the darkroom hadn’t been enough to make me believe it. But the photo in his locker and his behavior since we’d left school had backed those words up. And he was even doing it in front of the cameras.
I didn’t know what I was going to do. I’d never dated anyone in all my sixteen years. I had no idea how that worked. There had been a few boys who had seemed to like me but had never had the guts to ask me out. Alex didn’t lack in the guts department. I liked that about him.
If I allowed myself to think about it, I actually liked a lot about him. He was intelligent, kind and didn’t seem to care what anyone thought about him. It helped that he seemed to share my love of photography and Indie music. Plus, he knew my darkest secret. He knew I was truly a freak and yet he still liked me despite it.
Bravely, or foolishly, I hadn’t decided which it was, Alex waded through the crumbling door of the mill building minutes later. He was still on his quest to see if more homeless people were squatting. I stood outside gnawing on my fingernails with Peter the cameraman, worrying that Alex would fall through a floor or have a wall collapse on top of him.
He emerged dusty but unharmed five minutes later and put my fears to rest. It was a little startling to realize that I’d known him for less than two weeks but already I cared about his wellbeing.
“What’s next?” He asked while tapping the grey from his pants.
I lifted my shoulders because I had no idea what was next. “There really isn’t much else except that soup kitchen.”
“I went there last week like you suggested.” Alex started for the car. “It’s just as well that there isn’t another spot. I’m out of cash.”
My forehead knit in confusion. “Huh?”
“Er, nothing.” He changed the subject. “Do you need to get home or can we hang out?”
Hang out? With Alex? I wasn’t sure I was ready for that. And I did have a bunch of homework.
Without looking at him I said, “I probably need to study for my math test.”
Even out of the corner of my eye I could see his bright smile. “Maybe I can help. I’m good at math.”
I heard myself mutter, “Why am I not surprised?”
It was his turn to be confused by something I’d said. “What?”
“Nothing.” And mine to change the subject. “So did you get all of the photos you needed?”
“I think so.” He shook the camera at me. “We’ll see when I develop this roll. The inside of that mill was really neat. I’d like to go back some time when there’s more light from the west.”
Alex spent the time it took us to get back to the apartment explaining all of the neat things he’d seen inside the run-down mill. I glanced at him awkwardly with my hand on the door handle after the car had come to a stop outside the apartment building a few short minutes later. It hadn’t been a date but I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to tell him I’d had a good time. I couldn’t really say that I had. Standing around worrying about his safety hadn’t been my idea of fun.
He seemed to grin, a toothier version of his usual smile. “Is it too soon to ask you for that real date?”
My cheeks flushed and my answer was breathy from nervousness. “No.”
Alex’s grin faded into a serious expression. “When is your next day off?”
“Sunday,” I answered quickly then added more when he frowned a little, “But I’m supposed to finish at five on Saturdays.”
The grin was back. “Would picking you up at seven-thirty on Saturday give you enough time to get dolled up?”
I laughed nervously. “I might only have enough time to run the comb through one and a half times.”
I swear Alex’s eyes twinkled when he said, “Then I guess I’ll have a reason to ask for another one.”
The flush in my cheeks reddened further. I opened the door before he’d see them and think less of me, murmuring, “See you tomorrow.”
His voice softened. “Night, mute girl.”
I was smiling like a weirdo when I walked through the apartment door.
“I was just getting worried about you,” my mother spoke up from the sink without looking back.
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br /> “Sorry, I should have left a note,” I answered in distraction.
She shrugged her narrow shoulders lightly as she fiddled with something beneath the water. “I assumed you were at the library or conned into working more at the store.”
“I have a date,” I told her suddenly in an awed tone.
She turned with round eyes, forgetting to turn off the water. “Really?”
I nodded mutely.
Her surprise turned to happiness as her lips lifted into a smile. “My little girl has a date?”
“Yeah.”
“It’s your first one, right?”
“Yes.”
Her hand came up to her chest to cover her heart, dampening her shirt without noticing. “Phew, I thought I hadn’t missed it but I never know…”
My mouth pursed a little. “I wouldn’t hide something like that from you, Mom.”
“Oh, come give me a hug. I’m so happy for you!” Mom held out her arms. Her hands were making grabby gestures because I hadn’t moved fast enough for her. She wrapped her damp hands fully around me and then asked, “What’s the name?”
I almost laughed at her tactful question. She wasn’t even sure if I liked boys. It made me hug her tighter.
“Alex Chattan, he’s new.”
“Tell me allll about him over dinner.”
And I did, but I left out a few key bits.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Dolled up. That was exactly what I looked like: a porcelain doll complete with ringlets framing my face. I hadn’t let my mom put me into a frilly dress. I might as well have. It was the only thing I was missing to complete the look. She’d done up my face with make-up from her personal stash, forced me into one of her black dresses when she’d heard Alex preferred the color, and then tortured my hair for a half hour.
Mom’s thin index finger and thumb fussed with my curls long after she’d declared it perfect. “It’s called an up-do.”
“It’s called a half hour of my life I can never get back,” I grouched.
Ignoring me she said, “I’d do your nails too but you bite them too much.”
“And he’ll be here soon.”