by Brooke May
What could be the matter?
Maybe he is training, or he was called into work. Yeah, that could be it. His boss has one other person working for him, so maybe that person called in sick.
When I reach his street, I pull into the first available spot I can find, but it’s half a block away from his building. I cut the engine and look up to get out but find Gwen’s Camaro parked closer to the building.
Huh?
Still looking through my windshield, I reach for the box when I see Chamberlain. He is walking out of his building looking in all directions before stepping out to the sidewalk. Then my heart slams against my chest as a crack forms in the center of it. Gwen is right behind him. She hugs his arm to her like I do and rests her head on his shoulder.
I try to breathe, but it is next to impossible. The tears start to well up in my eyes. I hate to say it, but Amber was right. I shouldn’t be here. They start walking toward the pizzeria in the opposite direction of me. Not once does Chamberlain try to break his contact with her.
I grab my lip with my teeth to stop it from quivering and try my best to blink the tears away. I knew I fell too hard too fast. I reach to start my car when a knock on my window scares me. I jump and find Scott beaming down at me. Once he sees me, the smile slips.
“What’s the matter, K.C.?”
I do my best to cover my hurt as I roll down the window. “You scared me.” I try to explain.
“No.” He rests his arms on my open window seal and leans on them. “You look like you’re either about ready to cry or already have.” His concern touches me, but he’s Chamberlain’s friend, so he probably already knows about them.
And that hurts because I consider him a friend as well.
“No.” I shake my head and force a smile. “I just slammed my finger in the middle console while looking for my ChapStick, that’s all.” I look over my shoulder at the cookies. I don’t want them near me now. I grab them and thrust them at Scott. “Here, take these for you and Chamberlain. I have to get going.” I lie and shift my car into reverse.
“Is he not home?” Scott looks at the building. Chamberlain and Gwen are already in the pizzeria. “Why don’t you come in?”
“No! I mean, I can’t,” I answer quickly. “I have a paper I need to write. Talk to you later.” I don’t wait for him to reply. I leave Scott standing in the street, scratching his head in confusion.
I speed away and turn up the radio to try to drown my thoughts and just drive.
Just great.
I groan as “Teardrops on My Guitar” by Taylor Swift comes through the speakers.
I’m halfway home when my phone starts to ring. Pulling it out of my pocket, I see Chamberlain’s name and smiling face. My lip quivers uncontrollably as I silence it and toss it into the passenger seat. I finally let the tears fall.
How could I be so stupid? I loved him too fast. I let everything between us happen too fast. And now, I get to burn with this pain of letting him in. I finally let someone new into my life, and it goes up in flames. I rub my chest as I pull out of traffic and onto the road to home.
It hurts so much.
I slam on the brakes when I reach home and hurry into the house. I don’t go in the side door because I don’t want Fiona questioning my change of mood. Instead, I go through the front door and run into my mother as she is walking by.
“Katherine!” she screeches as I mutter an apology. I don’t want her to see me like this either. She’ll just rub more salt in the wound. “Wait, Katherine Carrie.” I stop with one foot on the stairs.
“Yes?” I try my best to remain calm.
Just a few more seconds and I can fall apart in the safety of my room.
“I have been meaning to speak with you. Your father, Zoey, and I are attending a charity banquet April twenty-third for less fortunate children. We would greatly appreciate it if you would attend as well.”
I don’t process that her tone is fake along with her sincerity.
“Sure,” I mutter before racing up the stairs to my room. I slam the door behind me, continue to ignore my phone, and fall-face first onto my bed, letting out a gut-wrenching blood-curdling scream while the tears choke me.
Chapter Twenty-Five
I’M SULKING, AND I really don’t care. No matter how much Fiona has tried to cheer me up, nothing works. Chamberlain continued to call me last night until I shut my phone off and buried my head in my pillows.
I woke up this morning in the same clothes I wore yesterday. My eyes are red and puffy from crying until I finally succumbed to sleep at three a.m. At one point last night, I had removed my contacts because my eyes had started to burn.
I feel numb.
I called the center to let them know and pass the word on to my students’ parents that I would not be in today. I have ventured out of my room long enough to get something to eat and drink before disappearing again. I’m thankful Zoey and my mother decided to leave for DC today to do some shopping and spend the weekend with my father and the McGarths, minus Timothy who is back at school.
Around lunchtime, I decided the best way to spend my isolation is to finish a paper that isn’t due until after Spring Break, which is next week. I throw my mind into some place other than the thoughts of Chamberlain Lawrence.
It wasn’t until suppertime that I took a break when Fiona brought me a bowl of her homemade cheese soup with a cup of hot tea. She sat with me while I ate and did her best to try to find different ways to get me to crack a smile but nothing worked. I really don’t feel like smiling right now.
“I’m sorry, Fiona, but I’m not in the mood.”
“At least, you finally changed.” Fiona motions to my change of clothes. I traded my jeans and t-shirt for shorts and a camisole. Once I’ve taken my last bite, Fiona pulls me into her embrace. “It will be okay, K.C.” She runs an affectionate hand down to the back of my head. She kisses my cheek and takes the tray to leave. I don’t even have the energy to get up and lock the door behind her. Good thing Zoey is gone. “Good night, baby doll.”
“Night, Fiona. Thank you,” I say weakly as I curl into a small ball in my bed. I don’t want to do anything but lie here. I chose not to have a TV in my room long ago. I rarely watch any as it is.
I pull my duvet over my head and close my eyes. I’m so exhausted, and I didn’t even do anything today aside from writing my paper, which is now done, printed, and ready to hand in.
A gentle knock awakens me. I lift my head and look through the dark toward my door. “I’m fine, Fiona.” I lick my dry lips and lay my head back down. A knock comes again, but this time it is louder. “Fiona.” I groan and bury my face into my bed. “Go away, please.”
It is silent, and then I hear my door creak. I don’t hear any footsteps, but my bed sags from her weight. “Fiona, please go away.” I cry into my bed.
I just want to be alone.
I’m startled when a rough hand comes down on my bare shoulder. “I’m not going anywhere, Katie. Not until you talk to me.”
I jump back on my bed, up to my pillows, taking my duvet with me to cover myself as if it were a shield to protect me from him. “W … wh … what …” I can’t even finish before the tears start to fall again.
Why is he here? How did he get in?
Chamberlain turns on the bed to face me. “What’s going on, Katie?” I can’t make out his face in the dark yet; my eyes have yet to adjust. When I don’t answer him, he stands and comes around to the side of the bed to sit back down in front of me. “Talk to me, baby. Scott said you didn’t look right yesterday.” He places a cautious hand on my thigh. I flinch, causing him to pull his hand back. He runs it over his head and sighs. “Does it have something to do with Gwen?”
I flinch again at the mention of her name and glare at him. “Yes,” I hiss out. “Why bother with me when you have her?”
I still can’t fully make out the features of his face. “She was just playing around, Katie.”
Sure didn’t look like it to me.
He stands and walks over to my double doors that lead to my balcony. He stands there for a beat and then turns back to me before stalking over. “She was helping me with something, but there is nothing going on, Katie.” He sits back down, closer this time.
I can smell his unique scent, and it has my traitorous body going up in flames.
“Helping you with what?” I keep the anger laced in my voice.
“With a surprise for you.” His voice drops and sounds defeated. He moves closer, close enough to rest his forehead on mine. I should move away, but like always, I’m trapped in him. “Forgive me, please?” His plea makes me feel guilty for being mad, but I shouldn’t. I have every right to be this angry. Another woman was cozied up to my boyfriend, and he didn’t even try to stop her!
“Chamberlain.” I push him away and sit up straighter. “You need to set boundaries with her if you plan to continue to see me.” I’m proud for keeping my voice level. I feel anything but rational at the moment. “I get that she is your friend and all, but enough is enough. I won’t make you pick between us, but she needs to know that hanging on you and all that is not okay.”
His head bobs as I talk. I can see better now, and his eyes are the widest I’ve ever seen them. “I’m serious,” I say as I slump a little.
“I know you are.” He reaches for me, and this time, I don’t flinch at his touch as he wraps me in his arms. This is what I like. I love being with him, but not if it means I have to compete with another woman, one who I know wants him as well. I can handle Amber and the others who pursue him; it’s Gwen I can’t.
Abruptly, he pulls me onto his lap and pulls the duvet around him as well. “I was planning to ask you to come away with me next week while you’re on Spring Break,” he murmurs into my hair as he holds me tight to him.
My arms are pinned between us, so I lie there and stare at my feet sticking out of the side of the duvet.
He wants to take me somewhere?
What does Gwen have to do with it?
Do I want to do this?
Or is it better if we just end this now?
That pains me beyond belief, but I have a feeling dealing with Gwen’s and his relationship is going to be very trying for me and will lead to problems with the two of us.
“Am I forgiven?” Chamberlain nuzzles my ear, causing my body to come back to life after its long day of slumber.
“Yes.” I rest my head on his shoulder. Because I do forgive him, and I do want to be with him. I’ll just have to find a way to somehow deal with all of it. “Where do you want to take me? And what does Gwen have to do with it?”
He kicks off his shoes and swings his legs up onto the bed, lying down completely with me. “I wanted you to come to my grandparents’ cabin in the Berkshires with me for the week. Alone time for the two of us and I can focus on some different types of training while we are there.” He moves me so I’m now straddling his hips and looking down at him. I can’t help the gasp I release as I accidentally rub against his erection. “Sorry, you do this to me every time.” He doesn’t sound sorry at all.
“And Gwen?”
“She was helping me move some equipment that I want to take from the gym with us. We moved some stuff into the back storage room so I can load it better. Then I wanted to change, so we went back to my place and got pizza where Scott met up with us.”
“Oh.” I play with his shirt and lie down with him, resting my head over his heart.
“I’m really sorry, Katie.” He kisses my temple and nestles us down in my bed, making sure we are both covered. I fall back asleep to his heartbeat while ideally wondering how he managed to get here. “Your cookies tasted just like my mom’s,” he whispers as he too drifts off to sleep.
XOXO
I LEAN IN as far as I can right next to the ring as Chamberlain pounds down The Wall. This guy earned his name all right. For the first two rounds, he was holding well against Chamberlain, but now The Wall is crumpling with Chamberlain’s vicious assault.
I find myself bobbing and weaving with Chamberlain as he dodges punches. My hands rise up to guard just like his do. Scott chuckles next to me as he continues to cheer on his friend. Gwen is with us tonight and on the other side of Scott. I’m still not sure how I completely feel about her friendship with Chamberlain, so I am keeping my distance while trying not to look like I am.
Gwen is cheering at the top of her lung but calling him ‘The Predator’ rather than his given name. I don’t feel comfortable calling him that because, for me, he’s more, so much more.
The bell rings, and each fighter goes back to his corner. Scott jumps up, leaving both Gwen and me in our spots while he tends to Chamberlain.
His breathing is a little labored with this match. But his eyes hold a ferocious determination.
He’s going to win.
Before he gets back up to start the next round, he looks directly down at me. He throws me a wink and a grin before inserting his mouth guard.
I love this man.
When we woke this morning, we talked for a good three hours getting everything out in the open. I feel better not bottling it up anymore. I explained how insecure I feel. He told me it is just how I was raised, and that I have nothing to be insecure about. We ended up leaving together and heading to his gym to get ready for tonight’s fight.
Chamberlain goes into a boxer shuffle as he waits for The Wall to approach him. Bouncing on the heels of my feet to my toes, I watch as Chamberlain blocks a few more punches. Then just like a miracle of nature, like a flower opening for the first time, Chamberlain’s movements change, and he starts to pound into The Wall once more, taking him down.
Chamberlain backs him into a corner, continually throwing punch after punch. I’m mesmerized by the way his muscles tighten as he extends his arm into the punch. I’m dazzled how his sculpted back moves with them, adding more force to each blow. It feels like everything is in slow motion. I should think something is wrong with me by thinking about how handsome and hot my man is as he beats up another, but I don’t. I feel everything in my body tighten and grow needy for his touch.
“Come on, Chamberlain.” The clock is ticking down. This is the first match I have seen where Chamberlain hasn’t knocked out his opponent. That is what makes it exciting. It’s something new and different.
“Let’s go, Predator!” Gwen cups her hands around her mouth to amplify her voice even more as she shouts for him.
“Cheer for him louder, lil’ bit. You may give him enough of a surge to go for a knockout before the bell.” Scott encourages me and goes back to his own cheering.
I start to bounce more, feeling an adrenaline rush hit me. “COME ON, CHAMBERLAIN! WIN!”
I think my voice surprises him because his attack stops and The Wall lands a blow right to the side of his face. “NO!” Scott, Gwen, and I all shout at once. This can’t happen. He doesn’t need this with his big fight coming … up.
It hits me. The day my mother asked me to come to a charity function is the same as his fight.
Oh, no.
Chamberlain stumbles back a step or two before shaking it off and going back on guard. Thirty seconds remain on the clock, and he makes a push to corner The Wall again. He manages that while going back into his attack mode. He beats on The Wall until he drops to the canvas on one knee, blocking his head the best he can from Chamberlain. The bell rings and the referee peels the two away from each other.
It’s over. I take a deep breath and loll my head back. Before I can look back up, Scott has my hand in his, and he is guiding me to Chamberlain’s corner. Chamberlain is leaning over on his knees as he tries to catch his breath.
“You did great, buddy.” Scott slaps him on the back, causing Chamberlain to look up. His deep blue eyes are really dark at the moment as they settle on me. “I do have to give you crap, though, because you were thrown off by your girl.”
“That’s because this was her first time cheering loudly.” His voice is deep and extremely calm. I bl
ush and look down at my hands. He’s right, though; usually quietly, I’m cheering for him. But it felt great to yell for him. “Come …”
“You did great!” Gwen jumps between us, cutting him off. “You need to stay focused better, no matter who is cheering for you,” she scolds him with a playful frown. My shoulders drop.
Chamberlain stands, making her step back and right into me, causing me to stumble and fall onto the canvas. I stay down there with my hands supporting me in a sitting position, looking down. My previous excitement has evaporated. I want to go home, or at least, get out of here.
Two wrapped hands appear behind me and go to my waist, bringing me back to my feet. I know it is Chamberlain. He brings his chin down to rest on my shoulder after pushing my hair out of the way. “Hey, panda.” His voice is light and playful, like he doesn’t know that I don’t want to be here.
“Hey,” I reply weakly. He pulls me against him as if he now senses my feelings. “Great fight,” I say brighter, even though I fake it. I turn in his arms. “Ready to see if you won?”
His frown line appears, right between his eyebrows, as he stares down at me. “Okay.” Concern forms on his face as he draws my hand into his. We walk into the center with the referee and The Wall who stands by himself. I look over to find Scott biting back a laugh with his hand while Gwen has a mixture of delight and frustration on her face.
What’s that about?
The referee grabs each of the fighters’ wrists as the winner is announced. Everything is pretty deaf for me as Chamberlain is announced the winner, and his arm is raised to the heavens. Once the referee lets go of him, he circles his arms around me, bringing me back to the present and focusing on him. “Let’s celebrate,” he whispers against my mouth as he kisses me passionately.
We pull away, causing my own to heat. “Do you mind if we just go back to your place? I don’t feel like dealing with the bar.” The couple of times I have gone with them, I learned to stay in my seat, and even though I may have had to go to the bathroom, I would hold it until we got to his apartment. I’m tired of dealing with Amber, and I’m also thinking of Chamberlain. He doesn’t need the alcohol with his upcoming fight.