“I didn’t get it,” she says, picking up the lucky charm and hooking it to the bracelet. “Why you’d be sending random trinkets. Other than you were thinking of me.”
She picks up the Eifel tower, attaching it. “The place I told you I was dying to visit.” Then, the yin and yang charm. “Now, why would you send me the symbol of balance, Hunter?”
I shrug.
“This was halfway through your trip. You felt compelled to tell me you were reaching that place.”
“It’s a charm.”
She places the Celtic knot in the middle of the table. “Would you like to tell me more about this?”
“It’s a Celtic knot.”
“This knot symbolizes love,” she corrects me, tracing the two connected hearts with her fingers.
“Each charm you sent wasn’t just because you saw it and thought something like, ‘she’ll enjoy it.’” She sighs. “You were right. That day, the night of my birthday everything changed. Your letter was a premonition. We wouldn’t be the same again.”
She gives me a small box. I open it. Two puzzle pieces with an inscription. One says You are my, and the other says missing piece.
“Love is a hard concept for me to grasp.”
The corner of her lips stretch. “Falling in love is an art. It takes time to get to know someone so deeply that you can finish their sentences or know what they are thinking without them speaking.” She wiggles her nose. “But we had that serendipitous moment where our souls were able to have a glimpse of ‘what if.’ I think that’s what you said. No one before that day had seen me at my lowest point. I guess you saw the real me, and the scary part is that you liked it.”
She touches the base of her neck with her left hand, swallowing. “I felt that fire in my soul. You created it.” She walks to me, extending her hand. I take it feeling it. “We produce it every time we are around each other.” She pauses. “I. Love. You.” Her voice is firm, sweet and honest.
“I can’t tell you when I fell in love with you. Definitely not when we met, but somewhere in between our fake honeymoon and while you were away.” She moves her hand over the table, caressing each charm. “Every night I had the need to text you, and every day I went to check the mail for your packages. It wasn’t the size, nor the price. It was that even when you were far from me, you still thought of me.
“I wasn’t in love with the idea of you. I was falling in love with the man who made sure that I saw that he was thinking of me. That no matter the distance between us, he was next to me.” She sighs. “I’ll never be ready to handle you. You’re too intense.”
My eyes close, and I take a step back and exhale before opening my eyes.
“So, we’ll have to navigate this life with big warning signs.”
“Warning signs?” I crook an eyebrow.
“Explosive, unstable, insecure, always handle with care.” She smiles. “Those are my labels. Yours are: bigger than life, spontaneous, and not sure how to explain that thing you like to do the most.”
“What thing?”
“Surprise the hell out of me. I don’t like surprises.”
I nod several times. “I can see that being a problem we’d have to work on often. Maybe you should be prepared to receive surprises, at least twice a day?”
She angles her head, laughing. “I can get used to it.” Her hand extends, reaching out to mine.
“I shouldn’t have pretended everything was fine when I saw my parents. That I understood their behavior or feel guilty for not being able to help my mother.” She shakes her head. “I shoved everything away, letting it rot until one little thing created a major catastrophe.”
“It wasn’t little.”
“But it was one thing that as a single situation could’ve been easier to assimilate,” she continues. “I didn’t sleep all night because my dear sister shouldn’t cook—ever. She came barging in looking for tampons. My reactivity to emotions was too high.” She chuckles.
“High is mildly putting it,” I joke, and a humorous smile turns up the corner of her mouth.
“So you’re not ready for us?”
She nods.
“But you’re here.”
“I might never be ready. There’ll be a smidgen of guilt inside my heart that will never go away.” She squeezes my hand. “Like I said, we have to work for this. It’ll be hard. Some days, it’ll feel like we are taking five steps forward, and a couple back.”
She touches the heart charm, her eyes drifting around the table. Then, she looks into my eyes. “But as I learn how to dance through life, I want to do it with you by my side. It’s easier. You make it fun.”
“Are you sure?” I ask, embracing everything she’s saying. My voice shakes, my heart beats fast. “You’re aware that I’m still impulsive.”
She nods in response.
“That one day I’ll buy a ring. I’ll ask you to move in with me, to be my wife.” I pause, walking right next to her and taking her in my arms. “And I hope that you’ll marry me and we will move to the house I bought for us more than a year ago.”
“As long as you understand that I might send you daily texts asking if we are okay and if I’m still enough. That I’ll need to hear those words from you often.”
I nod, agreeing to whatever she wants as long as we can finally be together.
“It’s not because you haven’t loved me enough, but because some days are harder to live with myself than others.”
“Sounds like we can compromise, Miss Beesley. Should we seal the deal?”
“This won’t be easy or simple,” she says, as I pull her closer to me, tightening my grip. She shivers when I brush her lips with my knuckles. “Are you up for the ride?”
I look at those green, expecting eyes. Glad to know we are taking the next step. That we are both aware that our happy ending is going to have ups and downs. But it’ll be our story. “Why wouldn’t I? Have you heard that most people have more fun on a roller coaster than on a fucking merry-go-round?”
Without waiting for her response, I take her face in my hands. For a few beats, I stare, studying the brown freckle in her left eye. The birthmark on the side of her nose and her heart shaped lips. “You’re the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever known.”
Leaning down, I tilt my head pressing my mouth to hers. She wraps her arms around my neck, and we kiss slowly, swaying. That’s how we stay for a long time. Being in each other’s arms, letting her know with every stroke of my tongue that I love her. That I’ll never leave her. That she has all of me. Just as I feel the chaos inside her mind finally calming, as much as her love for me.
She’s all mine.
The End
Want to see what happens next with the #Everhartboys?
Coming Fall 2017
Fervent
As a former Army Ranger who works for a high intelligence, private security company, I’ve seen my fair share of death, betrayal, and pain.
I’ve lived them.
I trust no one, only my brothers, and my best friend.
I wasn’t always like that. Everything changed the day my parents died and my nation was attacked.
Since then, family comes first. Work is my mistress.
Nothing else matters.
That is, until she walked into my life.
Short dress, long, tanned legs, and honey eyes that make me weak.
She’s chaos.
She’s sunshine and daffodils.
She’s loud.
She’s a fighter.
She’s a dreamer.
She’s everything I hate.
Why is it so hard to walk away from her?
Dear Reader,
Thank you for reading All of You All of Me. This love story is nothing like what I’ve written before. The inspiration came like only Willow could, a big storm of ideas and feelings. Willow and Hunter are characters I met while writing another book I had yet to publish. I knew how emotionally damaged Willow was, and how Hunter would go to the end of the worl
d just to fight for them. And as I day dreamed about their story, I came to the realization that there are many of us who have emotional disorders, but not too many stories about our journeys, our love lives and our ultimate goal to reach a happily ever after.
Disorders like BDP, depression, anxiety and so many others are silent, deadly and misunderstood. It is so hard to explain how somedays one can’t get out of bed, or talk to another person without experiencing physical pain. These disorders affect the person who suffers them as much as their families. I myself have a grandmother with OCD and depression. A mother with BPD and well, I’m not far off since I have anxiety.
My wish after writing this book is to increase awareness, to learn to advocate for one another, and to support each other. It is hard to remember sometimes that we are loves, that there’s always someone who needs us and that we are worth loving, but we are.
Thank you so much for reading this book. For taking another piece of my heart—of myself—with you.
After finishing the book, and if you enjoyed it. Please do me a favor and leave a review. Spread the word telling others about it. Don’t forget that I love to hear from you, my readers, so please don’t hesitate to email me.
Thank you to all of you.
Sending you all my love and lots of hugs.
Claudia B.
THIS IS ONE of the most difficult parts to write for me. I have a terrible memory, and I am afraid to forget anyone. Please forgive me if I do. Before I continue, let me tell you that I’m grateful for all of you and for being part of the world that I’ve created.
So where do I start?
I will start with the amazing group of editors that helped me shaped All of You All of Me. Without you, this story wouldn’t be what it is today. Paulina, Anja Pfiter, Marla Esposito, Robyn Crawford and Virginia Carey.
Stephie Walls who went through the manuscript and helped me polished it when she was swamped. Thank you so much, I’m so happy that I made a new friend.
Kerry, Liz and Gabby who helped me bring Willow’s character to life. The ugly truth of what Borderline Personality Disorder can do to your loved ones and to the person who has the disorder. Michelle R. thank you for answering all my questions, even when sometimes they were ridiculous. I learn a lot about New York because of you.
My beta readers, Mo Stysma (who also did edits), thank you so much for your advice. Yolanda, Colleen, Christine, Raynell, Melissa, Patricia and Stephanie. Ladies, I’m not sure what I’d do without your help.
To Hang Le for taking yet another leap and creating such a gorgeous cover—you complete my books, always. Christine Borgford who always makes the interior beautiful.
Kristi, thank you so much for your friendship, for listening to me and holding my hand when things are just a little too much.
Taylor, thank you for everything that you do while I’m trying to doodle with my words.
To the Book Lovin’ Chicas group, thank you so much for your continuous support. For your daily cheers, and the words of encouragement. I’m grateful for you.
Thank you to all the bloggers, thank you so much for all your support. Your effort and energy are what makes my releases such a success. Thank you so much for everything you do for them.
To my readers, I am grateful to you. Thank you for reading my words, and for supporting my books. Thank you so much for those emails and notes, they mean so much to me.
I’d like to thank my family for their incredible support. Foremost, to my husband. The man who no matter if I have a dark or a sunny day he’s by my side supporting me—loving me.
All my love,
Claudia
Until I Fall
Finding My Reason
Unexpected Series
Unlike Any Other
Unsurprisingly Complicated
Uncharted
Uncut
Undefeated
A Decker Christmas Novella
Life Series
Where Life Takes You
Next To You
CLAUDIA GREW UP with a childhood that resembled a caffeine-injected soap opera. She lives in Colorado, managing her household filled with three confused dogs, a techy-nerd husband, two daughters wrought with fandoms and a son who thinks he’s the boss of the house. To survive she works continually to find purpose for the voices flitting through her head, plus she consumes high quantities of chocolate to keep the last threads of sanity intact.
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All of You All of Me Page 25