by E. W. Brooks
Edwina looked up at Matthew with a look that read Thank you for saving my life. He looked compassionately upon the beautiful woman he felt an undeniable urge to protect.
“Why do you get so panicky in the water? Hasn’t it proven to you that it will hold you up? Why are you so determined to fight it?”
“I don’t know. I guess I just have trust issues,” Edwina answered, as she dropped her head to hide the embarrassment now making its way across her cheeks.
“Don’t blush. It’s okay. I know you’re afraid of something. Tell me what it is. Do you know who my father is?”
“I’m not trying to be funny, but if you knew who my benefactor was, you’d understand why name dropping doesn’t move me,” Edwina chuckled.
“See, that’s what I mean. This is why I love you,” Matthew said, realizing the words that had just jumped from his lips. It was too late to take the words back, and he meant them. So, he allowed them to linger there in the space between them before he continued.
“My Dad is a NC Senator headed for the Governor’s mansion. Do you know what kind of stress comes with that? I get so tired of having my life examined by these self-righteous strangers, who know nothing about me. It’s like I have to live my life under a microscope. I can’t fuck up like normal kids. I made a deal with the devil just to come here.”
“What do you mean?”
“My Dad wrote me a check for one million dollars.”
“Damn, that’s a lot of cake,” Edwina exclaimed.
“Yeah, but check out the kicker that came with it.”
“Matthew, the man gave you a million dollars. Whatever he wants you to do can’t be that bad.”
“I have to be engaged and ready to be married within 6 months of graduation, or I have to sign my house, car, and remaining checking account balance back over to him.”
Edwina laughed.
“What’s so funny?” he asked.
“Oh, you and your rich white boy problems are funny. It seems to me that your Daddy bribed you to be normal.”
“Be normal? What do you mean?”
“Some kids come to college and meet their husband or wife early on, and then they get married right after college. That’s all he’s asking you to do. He wants you to get serious about something and stop throwing away your life and his money.”
“Well, Iyanla. Thank you for fixing my life,” Matthew joked.
“Somebody had to,” Edwina returned playfully.
“What is your mother like?” Matthew asked, trying to connect with Edwina and get to the bottom of her anguish.
Edwina’s face went blank. The rosy cheeks and small dimples that surfaced when she smiled were gone. Matthew instantly recognized her problem. He was majoring in Political Science, but the things he’d learned in Psychology were definitely coming in handy right now. Maybe I should minor in Psychology, he thought.
“Do you really want to know?” Edwina asked, finally ready to unburden herself. She and Matthew were close, and she believed he could handle the weight of her insecurities without dropping her all together.
“Yes, I want to know what makes you so afraid out there. If you can’t trust the elements, how could you ever trust me?”
Edwina opened her mouth and words just fell out. He wanted her life story and she was ready to share it with someone.
As she spoke about her mother, it was almost as if she were reading something she’d rehearsed over and over in her head. They stood in the water, as Matthew held her in his arms and Edwina’s “Mean Mommy Monologue” began.
“I don’t know when I started to hate her, but I can tell you that I never liked her. When I think of my mother, I never see a woman who tried to uplift or encourage me. I see a small fraction of a woman who, because of her pain, was never able to fully love and treasure me as her gift from The Creator.”
“I could never understand why my attempts at intimate conversation with her would turn into heated arguments months later; with my indiscretions thrown back in my face. My deepest desire was to have her teach me to be a woman, but the truth was, I wanted her to be a mother. Like the one down the street who empowered, uplifted, and trusted. Instead, God gave me one who belittled, discouraged, and doubted me out loud and in front of my peers. I was awarded a broken being who pierced my spirit with venomous words that my psyche is still working to purge.”
“I don’t get it, though. Did my appearance drive her that crazy? Was my self-worth so apparent and seemingly valuable that she needed to subtract from it to add to her own?”
“I fell in love with words around the age of ten. That I owe to my mother. Only because I needed the dictionary to figure out what conceited and arrogant meant. I couldn’t understand how such big words applied to such a small child like me, but I guess even then; I was stronger than I realized and she hated my strength. She hated that her stones didn’t break me.”
“I don’t guess I’ll ever know why she couldn’t love me completely. I’ve asked many times in several different ways, but can never seem to get a straight answer. You know what? I don’t try to answer that question anymore. I have come to know that this is an issue best taken up between her and her maker.”
“I never asked to come here. She didn’t either, but we were always two women stuck in a world created and dominated by gloomy and abusive histories. I don’t know when my mother’s spirit was broken, but there was always some secret and inherent need for her to pass that pain on to me.”
“There were times when I secretly wondered when God would allow me to break into small pieces and escape my painful reality. But, for some reason, there was a small resilient voice inside me that encouraged me to hold it all together; despite hurt feelings and welt covered legs that continued to hold me up, irrespective to the stick that met them and left its trace of red marks and scabs.”
“I wonder how those remnants of her anger and insecurities made her feel. She never apologized for them, even when she was wrong. She never apologized for not knowing how to be a mother, and I have never apologized for not wanting her close to me.”
“I am sorry that she is broken, and I am sorry that she tried to break me, but some things are best forgotten. Now she, her race, and everything else about her are dead to me. So, from here on out if anyone asks, my mother is dead. Do you hear me? I don’t care that she still walks around breaking people. I killed her in my mind, and I’ve already buried her. I have no desire to know someone who spent that kind of time trying to destroy me. So, there are no ‘Happy Holidays’ for me. There is only time spent with a woman who loved me until the Social Security check from my Dad’s death ran out.”
Edwina shook her head as the last words left her mouth. She exhaled as their release gave her a freedom she’d never felt. She could understand if Matthew never wanted to see her again. Nobody wants to deal with that type of crazy. She reached for the edge of the pool. She wanted to leave before he could see her tears.
Matthew immediately steadied Edwina’s body and lifted her head to face him. He kissed the tears away, as they fell from her face.
“Don’t worry. I am sorry that you lost your mother in that horrific car crash, but as fate would have it, my father has asked me to bring a date. I guess he wants to check up on my progress.”
“Edwina Edwards, would you please do me the honor of joining me and my family for Thanksgiving?”
“Thank you for your sympathy. It happened so suddenly, and yes, I’d love to accept your invitation,” Edwina answered. The couple smiled, relieved that the truth was finally out on the table.
That was the last time they spoke of Edwina’s mother or the strings that made Matthew dance.
Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner
Marcellus hadn’t stopped smiling since he heard Matthew was bringing his girlfriend, Edwina, home for Thanksgiving. The poor girl never knew her father and was raised by a single mother who got killed in an unfortunate car crash. His heart went out to her, but the truth was, Marcellus had the
young lady checked out. He’d had his banker friend look into her accounts, and she had over half a million dollars sitting in a trust account. He’d had his college buddy find out that she maintained a 3.8 GPA and that her tuition had been paid by Clarke Bellow.
Hot damn! My son has hit the jackpot. No more hood rats around here, he thought as he danced a jig in the middle of his office. The Bellows were one of his largest campaign contributors. These former thugs took their money and made some very smart business decisions. They’d been law abiding citizens ever since, and Marcellus had no problem spending their money, even if they were colored.
***
Edwina gasped as she saw Matthew’s home. It was made of beautiful dark brown brick. As a matter of fact, the mansion looked like it was made of blocks of Hershey’s chocolate. The house itself was immense. Their garage was the size of her home back in Norwood.
“Oh my God!” Edwina exclaimed, “Your house is so big.”
Matthew just laughed.
“My Mother is going to love you,” he said, as he squeezed his girlfriend’s hand.
Edwina’s mind drifted away. She knew Tesha was somewhere drinking with those “friends” of hers. She probably didn’t even notice she was gone. This motherless child quickly put away her thoughts and redirected them to more pleasant possibilities.
Matthew and Edwina pulled up just as a black car with dark windows backed out of the driveway.
“They must have gotten the wrong house,” Matthew remarked, as he placed his Benz in park. “Are you ready, Baby?”
Edwina tried to wish away her nervousness as she responded, “Yes.”
Matthew walked around to open his lady’s door and kissed her reassuringly. He felt her tension dissipate and now they were ready to head to the house. Edwina’s wealthy beau held her hand as they mounted the massive steps that led to the front door.
Matthew stuck his key in the lock as Edwina noticed a legal sized manila envelope leaning against the door. It wasn’t marked Fed Ex or anything else. It simply read: To the Attention of - Mr. Marcellus Marlowe. She handed Matthew the letter as they headed into the biggest house Edwina had ever entered. This house is even larger than the Bellow’s, she thought.
Marcellus heard the click in the door from his private office that sat off to the left of the foyer.
“Hello, Matthew,” his father remarked, unable to hide the large smile covering her face.
“Hi, Dad,” his son returned, “I’d like to introduce you to the young lady who keeps me straight at UNC by the Sea. This is Ms. Edwina Edwards.”
“It’s very nice to meet you Senator Marlowe,” Edwina said with a small smile before extending her hand.
Marcellus quickly grabbed it and placed a kiss on its back.
“No, Edwina, the pleasure is all mine. Anyone that can make my son straighten up and fly right is welcome here. Maybe later you can tell me how you do it,” Marcellus winked.
The group turned, as they heard the sound of a fork hitting crystal.
“Well, I guess that’s your mother’s way of letting us know dinner is ready.”
Matthew smiled. He hadn’t seen Lena in months. She had been a gem since his mother died 10 years ago. She came into Marcellus’ life like a whirlwind, but this Caribbean fireball kept his father happy, healthy, and on his toes. He couldn’t ask for anything more.
“Come on,” Matthew said, as he grabbed Edwina’s hand to introduce her to Lena. He couldn’t wait to see her reaction.
The happy son quickly turned on his heels, “Oh, Dad. This was at the door for you.”
“Thanks, Son,” Marcellus responded, as he hid his uneasiness. “Did you happen to see who left it?” he asked.
“Nah, Dad. Wait, on second thought, there was a black car with tinted windows pulling out of the driveway when we pulled up. We didn’t see who it was, though.”
“Okay, Son. Go ahead and say hi to Lena.”
Lena St. James-Marlowe was the personification of beauty. Her hair fell well below her shoulder blades in soft ringlets. Every hair was perfectly curled and in place. She sat near the head of the partially filled table. A hearty smile covered her face, as she saw her stepson for the first time in months.
“Hey Matt!” she yelled, as he ran to the table to meet her. He hugged her tightly before turning to introduce his future wife.
Lena gasped for air, as she saw the familiar face standing before her.
“Lena, this is Edwina Edwards, my girlfriend,” Matthew smiled.
Lena swallowed hard, as she looked over to her father, Julius St. James. He cleared his throat, and suddenly, Lena was herself again.
“It is great to finally meet you,” Lena coughed, “Matthew and Marcellus have told me so much about you. Please excuse me for a moment. Something weird is going on with my throat.”
“Do you need me, Boss?” asked a huge guy named Jackal.
“No, Jack, I got it. I just need to grab a drink of water. I’ll be right back,” Lena said, as she headed for the door just as Marcellus entered.
“Where are you headed, Babe?” he asked Lena, “You know I won’t cut this turkey until you get back.”
“I just have something caught right here,” she said, pointing to her throat. “I need to grab my inhaler just in case. I’ll be right back, Cutie pie,” she continued. She slapped her husband on the ass and headed to her bedroom.
Lena grabbed her nebulizer to take back downstairs. She pulled a cell phone from her purse and began to dial.
“Hey girl! Happy Thanksgiving!” greeted a jovial voice.
“Hey, Clarke. Happy Thanksgiving,” Lena returned as her voice trembled with anxiety. “I can’t talk long, but you will never guess who just came to dinner.”
***
Lena returned to a room in the midst of the throes of laughter. The energy was so light and welcoming that entering the room made her smile.
Marcellus was holding his stomach and tears were running down his face. Lena’s father was even in tears.
What could I have missed? Lena asked herself as she sat beside Marcellus. She watched him pull out his pocket square and dab his eyes as he finished off his laugh.
The dinner was a very pleasant one. Edwina seemed to easily find her place in the family’s tall tales and crazy stories. Marcellus was pleased.
“Let’s leave these two women alone. Give them some time to get to know each other,” Marcellus announced as he stood.
Lena smiled, knowing what he really meant was, “Hey guys, come join me in the study for cigars and cognac.”
Matthew planted a kiss on Edwina’s forehead, “Just call me if you need me.” Then the gentlemen followed Marcellus off to his study.
“Sooo, Ms. Edwards,” Lena remarked, trying to hide the venom building up in her veins. “What is it that you’re doing with my son?” Lena asked.
“He saved my Phys Ed grade,” Edwina responded. Her comment threw Lena off.
“What do you mean?” she asked, her voice softening only a tad.
“I have this crazy fear of water, but floating and treading is a requirement of Phys Ed class. I was trying, but I lost it while trying to float one day, so the teacher assigned me a swim coach.” Edwina smiled as she remembered meeting Matthew for the first time.
Lena looked at the smiling and innocent face staring back at her and realized she’d been mad at the wrong person all of these years. It was Tesha she should be angry with. Edwina had no idea what happened all those years ago. Now that Lena finally got the chance to look into the eyes of her dead husband’s bastard, she didn’t have the heart to tell her the things she told herself she always would.
Everyone had secrets and for now. Lena guessed Tesha was Edwina’s big one. She remembered Marcellus telling her this girl’s parents were dead. Lena knew first hand that Mandell was dead, but she also knew Tesha was very much alive.
She Ain’t My Mammy
Edwina was having a great time with the Marlowes. Something was weird about Mrs.
Lena though. She’d been uneasy since her conversation with Matthew’s stepmom. There was something strange, but familiar about this woman. She just couldn’t put her finger on it.
Stop being paranoid! She is a very nice lady. Don’t let your fear mess this up for you, Edwina thought, as she looked down at her vibrating phone. Tesha had been calling non-stop since yesterday, and it had her shook. Things were going too well for Edwina to include the alcoholic disaster in her life. Calamity seemed to follow her wherever she went, and for the first time ever, she was finally free from all Tesha’s bullshit.
Edwina slid her finger to the right, across to the red circle, and ended the call. She threw her head back into the pillow and tried to ground herself in the moment when the phone vibrated again. She picked it up and there was a text message from Tesha this time.
Don’t know me now? It’s okay. I know where you are.
I hope you have some leftovers.
I’m on my way.
“She won’t let me catch a break. Damn.” Edwina said, punching the pillow. “Here she goes messing up something else for me.” she said to herself. Her thoughts were interrupted when the phone rang with a very familiar ring tone.
“Hi Mrs. Bellow,” Edwina greeted her mentor while trying to hide her tears and fears.
“Hello, Edwina. Happy Thanksgiving. Are you and Lena looking forward to all the Black Friday shopping?”
“I wish Mrs. Bellow. I just got the worst text ever. My mom is on her way here to embarrass me.”
“Why would she do something like that?”
“Do you remember the conversations we used to have about my mother and her envy? Well, I haven’t been home or called there since I left for school, and I know she is really heated.”
“How could she just find you like that? Did you post your location on Facebook or Instagram?”
“No Mrs. Bellow.”
“Oh, I got it. You have the location setting on your phone turned on, don’t you?”
“Yep. I wanted to see how long our trip here would be. Matthew wouldn’t tell me.”