Kendra

by Coe Booth

  “I don’t know about this, Babe,” Kenny says. “That boy is playing games with you and Adonna, and I don’t want you…I know what he had you doing and—”

  “Kenny.” I sigh. “You don’t have to worry about me, not when it comes to Nashawn. I mean, you’re my father. I can’t get into this with you anymore.”

  “Look, Babe,” he says. “You know you can talk to me about anything.”

  “I know.” But it’s hard having this conversation with him. It’s so embarrassing. “I know I can talk to you, Kenny, but I can’t. I mean, I won’t. Anyway, I talked to Renée already and she took me to the women’s clinic, and Renée has a prescription for me when I need it, so—”

  “When you need it?”

  “Well, if I need it,” I say, even though we both know I was right the first time. “Hey, when you were my age, you were doing it with Renée, right? So you have to let me figure out when I’m ready, and you can’t expect me to tell you about it, because it’s gonna be my personal business.”

  “I don’t like this,” Kenny says, grabbing me into a hug again.

  “I know, I know,” I tell him, trying to enjoy this hug as much as the first one even though this time it kinda feels like he’s locking me in his arms and planning to never let me go.

  But he does let go. Finally. I guess his stomach takes over, because he hands me twenty dollars and tells me to go get two plates from Ms. Jenkins before she sells out. “And don’t let Ms. Grier try and talk you into buying nothing from her.”

  I make a face.

  “And bring me back my change.”

  “Yeah, right,” I say. I never gave him back change in my whole life.

  Fifteen minutes later, we’re sitting up front eating. He’s in the driver’s seat and I’m in the passenger’s seat, and we been taking turns getting up and going to the window whenever somebody comes to buy something. But, really, the food is so good I’m hoping people would stop coming for a few minutes, at least ’til I’m finished the peach cobbler.

  Finally, I work up the nerve to ask him, “Where’s Adonna? I didn’t see her once today.” And I been looking, too.

  Kenny shakes his head. “I don’t want you girls fighting and messing up everybody’s block party.”

  He knows where she is. “I didn’t say I was gonna fight with her.”

  He’s looking over at me, trying to figure me out. “I don’t know where she is, but she’s probably over there behind Building C, watching them stupid boys play basketball.”

  I should have known that.

  I stay with Kenny for most of the block party, but I go in and outta the truck and try to have some fun, too. Then, when the sun is going down and things are kinda wrapping up, I tell Kenny I’ll see him tomorrow. But instead of going upstairs, I head straight for Building C before I can think too much about what I’m gonna do. Because the truth is, I don’t really know what I’m doing.

  And of course she’s there, sitting on one of the benches next to Asia. The guys are on the basketball court, playing hard and sweating and looking good. Not that I’m checking them out or anything. It’s just that I can see why she been back here all day.

  I’m not sure if Adonna sees me or not. She’s sitting there sharing a bag of sunflower seeds with Asia, but they’re not talking. It’s like they’re together, but Adonna’s alone at the same time. She looks nice, though. The weave is gone and her hair isn’t all fancy. It’s just combed back in a ponytail, kinda like mine. And yeah, she’s wearing white shorts, but they’re not all that short, at least not for her. The only thing sexy about her is her top, which is kinda tight and off the shoulders. But even that’s more cute than anything else.

  I walk real slow over to where she’s sitting, and when I sit on the other side of her, she don’t get up and move. And she don’t punch me in the face again. So I’m taking this as a good sign. I just sit for a while, not saying anything because, really, what can I say to her?

  It’s Asia that talks first. She whispers to Adonna, “Oh, no, she didn’t.”

  But all Adonna does is shrug her shoulders like she don’t care. And she never looks away from the game.

  Outta the corner of my eye, I watch her watching the guys, and I can see she’s paying a lot more attention to one guy that’s tall and cute but not Nashawn-cute. I never saw him before, so he must not be from Bronxwood. But he does kinda stand out from the other guys. Plus the fact that he’s wearing probably, like, three-hundred-dollar sneakers don’t hurt him none, at least when it comes to Adonna.

  Then I look across from the basketball court to the playground that me and Adonna always used to play in when we were little. We weren’t supposed to go across the street by ourselves, but the swings behind our building were always broken, and over here they had the biggest and best jungle gym in Bronxwood. So we used to sneak over here all the time and, for some reason, when we got here it always felt like we were far away from home. Like we were on our own or something.

  Well, until Nana would come around here and bust us. She always had the worst timing, too. She would show up right when we were having the most fun and make me come home with her. It was so embarrassing, not so much in front of Adonna but in front of all the other kids that would be out here with us. Like everybody else could play all day, wherever they wanted, but not me.

  The basketball bounces outta bounds a foot away from where we’re sitting. Asia jumps up and grabs it before any of the guys can get it, and she runs away from the bench, laughing, trying to keep any of them from getting it back. She’s teasing them, flirting like crazy, and I wonder which guy she has her eye on.

  Next to me, Adonna calls out, “Don’t give it to them, Asia!” And she’s laughing, too.

  Even I’m smiling.

  The guys surround Asia and she looks like she’s having the best time, with everybody’s attention on her. I could never be that comfortable around guys like that. That’s why I’m lucky to be with Nashawn. I don’t have to go through all those games.

  But since me and Adonna are sitting together, and we’re by ourselves, I figure it’s my chance to say something. So I take a deep breath, one loud enough for her to hear, and say, “I was looking for you all day.”

  Adonna don’t even react. She sits there quiet, still watching Asia and the guys. And for a while I’m not sure she heard me, even though I’m sitting right next to her.

  So I wait for her to say something, and really, it’s kinda hard to breathe. I mean, she can’t just not talk to me. She wouldn’t be like that. At least I hope not.

  Finally, she turns to look at me, and I can only stand to look in her eyes for a second because she’s so hurt and so mad, and I’m the reason for it.

  “What you did was fucked up, Kendra,” she says, keeping her voice down. “I would never do something like that to you, and you know that.”

  “I know,” I say. “You’re right.”

  “And don’t think you’re gonna sit here and I’m gonna forgive you. Because you can forget that.”

  “I’m sorry,” I say, looking her in the eye again. “I’m really sorry. But I didn’t set out to—”

  She shakes her head. “That’s not enough.”

  “I know. But you can’t be mad at me forever. I’m still your best friend. Right?”

  Adonna looks away from me again, but under her breath she says, “Probably.” And that’s a big relief. “But,” she adds, “I’m not ready to be friends again.”

  “Okay,” I say, and I can understand that. I mean, this isn’t like those fights we used to have when we were little. And we had some good ones, too. But no matter what, about an hour or two later, Kenny would make us say sorry and that’s all we needed to go back to playing together.

  So I sit there for a while longer. The guys get their ball back, but instead of going back to their game, they get into a slam-dunk contest, probably because they lost one of their players. He’s over in the corner of the playground talking to Asia, who’s leaning up again
st the fence trying to look cute.

  “I’m gonna be here all weekend,” I tell Adonna a couple of minutes later. “Okay?”

  “Whatever,” she says, and I know she’s gonna make this as hard as possible for me. But, okay, I deserve it.

  Just as I’m about to get up and leave, I see Nana coming across the playground and it’s like I’m having a flashback or something because I know this can’t be happening now. “Babe!” she calls out loud enough for all the guys to hear. “Babe, come out from behind this building. It’s getting dark.”

  My mouth flies open, I’m so embarrassed. But next to me, Adonna busts out laughing, just like she always does, and me and her look at each other for a second. And I know what she’s thinking because I’m thinking the same thing—that this is crazy. That nothing’s ever gonna change.

  I shake my head and give up without a fight. “Yes, Nana,” I say, in that voice that always cracks Adonna up.

  And it works. She’s still laughing as I walk away. And, actually, so am I.

  I mean, really, what else can I do?

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  Special thanks to: My family (Mom, Lisa, Rashid, Mike, Haadiyah, Micayla, Alyssa, Hamza, Hasan, & Halima)—I couldn’t do any of this without y’all!; Samantha—thanks for your endless help, especially with this one!; Denise, Tammy, Mark, & Faith—how did I get so lucky to have you guys in my life?; Kathryne Alfred, Daphne Grab, Lisa Graff, Lisa Greenwald, Jenny Han, Caroline Hickey, & Siobhan Vivian—aka The Longstockings—aka the best writing group ever!; Leslie Margolis, for our Monday marathon writing sessions (with mocha frappés and mosquito bites, of course); Everyone at Scholastic, for being so incredibly supportive of me; Maja, Hans, & the boys, for inviting me to Laurenz Haus. I can’t thank you enough for all you’ve done for me; Marie Brown—you’re the best agent I could ever want. Thanks for being so wise and so funny at the same time; and David Levithan—thank you so much for continuing to believe in me. You’re the best!!!

  About the Author

  Coe Booth started writing “novels” in second grade, then digressed, working with teens and families in crisis in the Bronx and as a writing consultant for the New York City Housing Department. After receiving an MFA in creative writing from The New School, she finished Tyrell. She was born in the Bronx and still lives there. For more, check out www.coebooth.com.

  GO THERE.

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  EDITED BY DAVID LEVITHAN

  Where We Are, What We See

  EDITED BY DAVID LEVITHAN

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  EDITED BY DAVID LEVITHAN

  This Is PUSH

  EDITED BY DAVID LEVITHAN

  Copyright

  No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission of the publisher. For information regarding permission, write to Scholastic Inc., Attention: Permissions Department, 557 Broadway, New York, NY 10012.

  Copyright © 2008 by Coe Booth

  Jacket photo: Diane Allford

  Jacket design by Steve Scott

  All rights reserved. Published by PUSH, an imprint of Scholastic Inc., Publishers since 1920. SCHOLASTIC, PUSH, and associated logos are trademarks and/or registered trademarks of Scholastic Inc.

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Available

  First printing, October 2008

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  E-ISBN: 978-0-545-23175-6