by Dean Murray
"If I meet someone else who's better able to protect my people, someone whose beliefs I respect and who has the integrity to live those beliefs, then I will turn the leadership of my pack over to them, but otherwise I will do everything in my power—every moral thing—to maintain my position, to protect my people, and grow my pack to the point where we don't have to worry about any conceivable external threat."
"That's an easy promise to make for someone who's apparently manifested an unbeatable power."
I gave her a wry smile. "Nothing is unbeatable—as I'm sure you know. I'm very aware of the fact that you're busily brainstorming ways to get around my ability. Your point stands though. I'm unlikely to have to turn over my position any time soon."
"I guess that leaves us at an impasse then, Alec. You're not willing to hand the reins of power over to me, and I'm not willing to turn the lives of my daughter and the rest of my pack over to you…unless you came here to force me to bend my knee to you."
My beast's response would have been a tsunami of power, an unmistakable, resounding yes, but I was more than just the beast that was angrily pacing back and forth inside my mind. It would be so easy to unleash my power once again, to force her back onto the ground, but that wouldn't buy me her allegiance. It wouldn't even buy me control over her pack. It might grant me a temporary illusion of control, but I needed more than that.
"I'm not going to force you, Jaclyn, but it was only weeks ago that I looked you in the eye and told you that I wasn't my father, that I wasn't a monster. You gave me a time and a place and sent me off to a situation that could have gotten me killed. I trusted you enough to go there, and that decision has shaped everything that has happened since in my life. I trusted you, why can't you do the same for me?"
"I'll admit that you surprised me, Alec. I never expected you to go there, and even if I had, it would have been too much to hope that it would cause you to break with your father. Your actions the last time you were down here have bought you some leniency. I'll let you leave here—the way you came—and not report your presence to the Coun'hij, but that's all I can do for you."
"That's worth nothing!"
Tasha grabbed at her mom's arm—a dangerous thing to do considering the energy I could feel humming off of the other woman—but Jaclyn refused to acknowledge her daughter.
"Be careful, Alec, or I'll revoke that indulgence and you'll find out just how much it's actually worth. You went to Naco as a boy with nothing to lose but your own life. Very little has changed. You're still just a boy—now with a shiny new toy—a boy who has nothing to lose. I have everything at stake. Be glad that I'm not willing to turn you over to your father in the hopes of buying myself a few more months of safety."
I stepped towards her, putting myself in range of her claws if she chose to transform, and I cracked open the rift inside of me, bleeding off some of the electricity dancing in the air between us.
"That's where you're wrong. I have everything to lose. My sister, friends who have been my family since even before I first transformed, new friends who have stood beside me in the fires of hell, they are all at stake here. I came down here to offer you a way out, a way to save your people. I suggest you think about that. You've got a limited amount of time before that offer expires."
Chapter 8
Adriana Paige
The Crazy Cactus Motel
Tucson, Arizona
I'd put on nearly five pounds since our failed attempt at assassinating Kaleb. That was really good for less than three days' time, but Taggart still probably wasn't going to let me back in to take another shot at Kaleb tonight. Doing better than expected with regards to adding weight back on didn't do anything to nullify the fact that I'd lost far too much weight in the last attempt. I was starting from almost zero.
It just went to prove once again that I was an idiot. I'd stayed out of the dream world for days, days in which I could have been adding bodyweight like crazy, but instead I'd basically stopped eating. I'd let myself forget about everything else while I was…grieving…and now I—and everyone else in the rebellion—was paying the price.
I was so screwed up that I barely knew whether I was coming or going, and I wasn't sure how to fix myself. It was more than just about my feelings for Alec, but they seemed to be at the very center of the knot that I was having so much trouble unraveling.
The fact that I'd stayed out of sight once we'd arrived was just another example of that. I wasn't a kid—okay, I was a kid, but I was a kid who'd fought vampires and managed to survive. I should have long since been past the point where I needed to hide away from the guy I was supposed to like.
I told myself that again and again, but it didn't seem to be making any kind of difference. I was still hiding out in the room that Taggart had rented for me at the motel that bordered the RV park where Alec's command vehicle was parked. It had been hours since Alec, Carson and Heath had left, but the only time I'd left had been to bolt down some food.
The knock at my door just as it started to get dark shouldn't have come as a surprise, but it still made me jump. I went over and unlocked it expecting to see Nellie, but instead found Tristan waiting for me.
"Hey."
"Hey, can I come in?"
I closed my eyes for a second, trying to come up with a way to avoid what I could sense coming, but my mind had frozen. The silence grew to the point of being awkward, and then I finally stepped back out of the way so that he could enter my room.
"Tristan, I—"
"You don't have to say it, Adri. I already know what you're going to say, but I need you to listen to me anyway. After the…accident I knew you were hurting. I asked you what I could do to help and you told me that you wanted me to be there for Cindi. I've done that. I left you alone just like you wanted, and I've held Cindi's hand every step of the way."
"I know, Tristan, and I'm really grateful to you."
He waited for a second to see if I was going to say anything else, but I couldn't think of anything that wasn't going to make things worse.
"Cindi's getting better, Adri. She still has bad days, but she's well on the way—she's not struggling like you are. She doesn't need me—not like you do."
"No, Tristan, you can't do this right now. You're right, Cindi seems like she's getting better, but that will all evaporate in an instant if you tell her that you're not interested, that you want…"
"She knows, Adri. Every step of the way I've been honest with her. I've been there for her, but I haven't done anything that would make her think we were going to get together. She's great—she has the potential to be really nice, and she's smart and pretty, but she's not you. You don't need anyone else to help bring the good out in you—it's just there, all the time. It's who you are, and that's the most amazing thing anyone could ask for in a girlfriend."
Tears were starting to pool in the corner of my eyes, but I couldn't have said whether it was frustration over having to deal with Tristan, or unhappiness that I'd done so much to prove him wrong over the last few days. I wasn't good or nice, I was a vindictive witch.
"Tristan, you obviously don't understand girls. It doesn't matter how many times you tell her that you only think of her as a friend, or that you want things to always stay just the way they are. She's heard all of that, but she's got her hopes pinned to the idea that someday your feelings are going to change. If you tell her you want to start dating me, she's going to lose it. You'll ruin everything."
Tristan looked like he wanted to get angry, but he just shrugged. "So just like that the matter is closed? Maybe you're right, maybe I don't understand much about girls, but you've got a pretty sizable blind spot yourself, Adri. You refusing to date me isn't going to make me fall madly in love with Cindi. I've stayed here because I wanted another chance with you. If that's never going to happen—if you're never going to give me the time of day—then just tell me now. It will be better for us all."
"I…I don't know what to think anymore, Tristan. For the longest tim
e I thought you were a complete jerk. This isn't the first time that you've led Cindi on, but I guess it's the first time that you've done it at my request. If I still thought that you were that same guy who was playing with her emotions as a way to get at me then I'd be able to tell you that there is no way we could ever be together."
"I'm not that guy, Adri. I never was—not really. Maybe I did some stupid stuff and listened to the wrong advice, but I never wanted Cindi to get hurt—not any more than she deserved. You don't know how hard it was for me to just stand back and watch her scheme against you."
I nodded choppily. "I can imagine. You're right, that wasn't her finest hour, and maybe this is the price that she has to pay for giving into all of the petty jealousy that was so much a part of the cheer squad. You're also right that you aren't that guy. You've done stuff I never would have believed possible for that guy. You fought a vampire for me and then you helped me kidnap a police officer and came with me to rescue my family. I owe you a lot, Tristan—more than I can ever repay."
"I don't want you to repay anything, Adri. You either feel something for me or you don't. It's that simple."
"I…I just don't know. I think I want to. You've turned out to be pretty amazing and if things were different I think we could be good together. If I'd been born without this crazy power maybe we could have made a life together, but I just can't see any way for that to be the case now."
Tristan looked away from me and sighed. "It's Alec, isn't it? I was starting to think that maybe you were ready to move on from him and let someone else into your life."
I shrugged, lips trembling from the effort of trying not to just break down in sobs. "I guess it is Alec. I want to be ready to move on, Tristan. I can't look at him without being thrown back into that building. I don't remember very much of what happened. All I get are bits of memory, the machinery falling, shooting vampires, the complete sense of powerlessness, but it's still too much. I can't deal with him, but I can't seem to just cut ties completely. I've done and said such terrible things lately. I'm not sure that he's ever going to want me back."
"If you're still feeling like that, then you need to go talk to him, Adri. Maybe you're right. Maybe there isn't going to be any coming back from what's happened—for either of you—but maybe it's not too late. All you can do is go talk to him. Tell him how you feel."
"I don't see the point. It's not like he can change the past or magically make my feelings disappear."
"The point is starting the dialogue. I want you and me to be together, Adri, but there's no point in even trying for that right now—not when you're still so caught up in your issues with him."
"I don't mean to string you along, Tristan. If you need to go, then you should go. I'll get Taggart to give you some money. It's not going to be enough to replace what you probably lost when your parents disowned you, but it will give you a start. It's not going to solve any of our problems, but maybe you're right that it's time for Cindi to try going forward without you. It will be a lot easier for her if you just leave than if you end up with me."
"I don't want to hurt Cindi, but I'm not going to sacrifice my happiness for hers, Adri, not if there's still a chance for us. I won't leave—not yet—but I'm not going to stay around forever. Go talk to Alec and figure out if there's even a chance for the two of you. When you're done talking to him, you and I can talk."
Chapter 9
Alec Graves
The Caravan RV Park
Tucson, Arizona
I arrived back at the location where we'd set up in a bad mood, but at least the run back had let me work off the worst of my anger. It gave me time to think, time to decide on a course of action. By the time we got back, I knew what I was going to do.
I clasped Heath on the shoulder, thanking him for helping us get in and out of Jaclyn's house, and then released him to go back to his people. Carson followed me into the command RV.
"What are you going to do, Alec? I can see by the set of your jaw that you have a plan."
"How are your negotiations with Grayson coming along?"
Carson shook his head. "I'm not sure. He's being evasive. I'm not sure if he's ashamed of his failure when Brandon's people arrived during the rescue attempt, or if he feels that his debt to me has been satisfied. Either way, he's been slow to commit."
I wanted to slam my hand into the countertop next to the sink, but I knew I'd probably crack it if I did. I needed to control myself if I was going to control the situation we were in.
"I need him, Carson. Heath is good, but he's not our guy. I need someone else other than me who has the ability to incapacitate large groups of hybrids if that's what Kaleb and the rest send down to take out the Tucson pack."
Carson refused to meet my gaze for several seconds, but I'd learned to just wait him out. Carson wasn't capable of avoiding the truth for very long. It was part of what made him so valuable.
"I no longer have confidence that I can bring him over to our cause in the time we have left, but there is another option. If you call him directly it may be enough to bring him here."
"I don't understand. I've met him only once, and even that was just a passing encounter—I maybe said all of ten words to him before the rescue operation commenced, and once everything fell apart there wasn't time for proper goodbyes. If you—who've known him for years—can't convince him, then how am I supposed to do it?"
Carson sighed. "I'm sorry, Alec. I wish I could tell you more, but I can't. Even saying this much comes perilously close to breaking an oath I swore years ago. All I can say is that he may listen to you—Grayson is…old-fashioned."
"Fine, text him so he knows I'm calling, and then give me his number and I'll call him right now."
Less than a minute later I was dialing his number from my burner phone.
"Hello."
Grayson's voice sounded different than I remembered, but I couldn't put my finger on what it was.
"Hello. Our mutual acquaintance told you who I am?"
He'd answered the phone without any distortion to his voice, but I didn't have that option. My phone was running a voice-scrambling program that Jack had provided me. I was too much of a known entity. We didn't think that the Coun'hij had managed widespread penetration of the cell companies, but there was no way to be sure, and if they had, then they would be running voice recognition software on all of the calls they could get their digital hands on.
"Yes, he warned me you would be calling."
I wanted to take a deep breath, but I forced myself not to. I needed to sound like I was in control.
"If you know who I am, then you know what I want. Our friend has been asking for your help, but you've been slow to respond. Now I'm the one who's asking."
"What makes you think that my response to you is going to be any different than my response to him?"
There was an edge to his voice now, but I was almost certain that he was testing me, trying to figure out what Carson had told me, trying to figure out if Carson had violated his oath.
"You answered my phone call—that's a good start. Honestly, I don't have any reason to think that you're going to agree to help me. I don't know very much about you at all, but what I do know tells me that I need you here at my side. I know that you can do things, things that nobody else can do. I know that without your help we never would have made it through the first wave back in New Mexico. We might have won still, but when our enemies dropped out of the sky there wouldn't have been enough of us left to put up an effective resistance.
"Some of my people are probably angry that you didn't stop the second batch. Some of them probably thought that you failed. I'm not them. I'm smart enough to know that not every tool can be used in every situation, and that you can't push anyone past their limits. You did what we needed—what I needed—you to do. If you'd been able to deal with the second group that would have been great, but it was my failure that put you in a place where too much depended on you.
"I know that you feel lik
e you failed at some point in the past. I don't know any of the details, but you wouldn't have come to help Carson last time if you didn't feel like you owed him something."
Grayson let silence fill the line for several seconds before he finally responded. "You seem to think that you know an awful lot."
"Maybe, maybe not. I'm building guesswork on top of supposition here, but I'm doing it because I need you. The people we lost last time were on me. Their deaths were my fault because I went ahead with the operation despite knowing that we didn't have enough people to cover all of the contingencies. I need you here because I don't want to repeat that mistake.
"There have been other…developments…since the last time I saw you. I can keep my people safe from most of what I can see coming our direction, but I need people I can trust to back me up in case I get caught off guard again."
"You almost had me." Grayson's voice was bitter. "You were doing so well—right up until you said that. The whole point is that you can't trust me. We're done here."
"I'm offering you redemption! This is your chance. Maybe you won't earn it this time, maybe you won't earn it next time, but eventually you're going to be the deciding factor on one of the battles we're headed into. Every time you save one of my people you're buying yourself redemption. I'm the only one who can offer it to you, and this is the only time I'm going to make the offer."
I couldn't have said for sure where the words came from—they'd just felt right—but they got through to Grayson at least enough to stop him from hanging up on me. He wasn't saying anything, but I could still hear him breathing on the other end of the line.
"Fine. I'll be there in six hours."
"That's not possible. I want you here, but I want you to travel safely—this all falls apart if they track you here."
"They won't track me. Our mutual acquaintance isn't the only one who can call in favors. I'll be on a plane within the hour and nobody will ever know I was on it. Text me the address where you want to meet."