Then she remembered. His parents had died in a head-on collision when a teenage girl had swerved into their lane. She had survived and told the cops she’d been crying at the wheel because her boyfriend had dumped her. Of course he’d be concerned that she was too emotionally compromised to drive. “Okay. Thank you,” she said without thinking through what she would do when they got to the hospital.
Xander helped her into the SUV and they immediately pulled out onto the highway. They were several miles down the road before either of them spoke again.
“May I ask what happened? Is there anything I can do?”
Rose clutched her purse tightly against her and softly shook her head. “Thank you, but there’s not much to be done unless you’re an orthopedist. It seems he broke his arm on the trampoline.”
“Who? Craig?”
Rose took a deep breath. She could feel the threads of her deception start to unravel. Perhaps she could take a page from the politician’s handbook and lie by omission. Tell what she had to but not all of it.
“No,” she said. “My son.”
Three
There was a long, uncomfortable silence after Rose spoke. She kept waiting for Xander to say something, but he didn’t. The car just kept steady and even, heading for the hospital. She supposed that she should say something, but she didn’t want to lie to Xander. She’d only ever wanted to protect him from himself. He would’ve done the right thing, which would’ve been the wrong thing for him.
“His name is Joey. He’s part of the reason I ended up dropping out of college.”
She waited for him to push. To ask the big question, but he didn’t. When she turned to look at him, his eyes were laser-focused on the road.
“Is he okay?”
Rose let the air she’d been holding out of her lungs. “My brother says he broke his arm. I won’t know for sure until after he sees the doctor. Hopefully, it won’t require surgery. As it is, he’s going to end up missing the Little League regional championship. He’s going to be crushed.”
“I saw on the news that one of the local teams was doing well.”
“Yes. They won for our county, which made them eligible to play in the regional tournament in a few weeks. It probably won’t be long enough for him to play. I feel so bad for him. He loves baseball.”
“I played in Little League for several years, although we never came close to winning any tournaments. The summers of my childhood were always filled with night games and popcorn from the concession stands. I quit the league when my parents died. Playing in high school was never quite the same.”
“I liked watching you play. And I like watching Joey play, too, when I can go. A lot of times, Craig has to take him because I’m working.”
“That must be hard, missing out on things.”
Rose shrugged away his concerns. Lots of things in life were hard, but you did what you had to do. “Someone has to pay for Little League. It’s not cheap. Neither is clothing a boy that seems like he grows an inch a month. He’s not even a teenager yet.”
“You won’t be able to keep enough food in the house,” Xander said teasingly. “I remember when all the boys hit their midteen growth spurts. Molly was having fits trying to keep us fed. It was impossible.”
“Craig was like that. I think that was half the reason he ended up getting a job at a fast-food place. He ate most of his salary.”
Rose could see the lights of the hospital in the distance. Xander slowed down and pulled into the parking lot near the emergency-room entrance. He found a spot and turned off the engine. She was anxious to get inside to Joey, but she could sense a hesitation in Xander. She waited a moment and at last he spoke.
“Rose, why didn’t you mention that you had a son before? We’ve been talking for hours. I would think that would come up in the conversation.”
Panic seized her, tightening her chest like a vise clamped on to her lungs. Her mind raced for an answer. “Honestly, tonight was about being back in high school again.” These words were true, if not entirely so. “You were attracted to me, just like the old days. I didn’t want to ruin the fantasy of our reunion by mentioning I was a single mother.”
“Why would that ruin it?”
Rose shrugged. “Because then I’m not the sexy girl from high school. I’m the single mother you used to date, complete with her own set of baggage.”
“Everyone has baggage.”
Boy, didn’t she know it. Joey wasn’t even the half of it. “I’m sorry not to bring him up. I’d better get inside. Thank you for driving me.”
Rose reached for the handle of the door but realized as she climbed out that Xander was getting out, too. Was he coming in with her? Why would he do that? Damn it. He was too thoughtful.
She rounded the hood of the car and stepped into his path. “You don’t need to go in with me.”
“I know that.” He ignored her protests and took her elbow, guiding her toward the building. “You’re upset. I’m going to walk you inside.”
With every step closer to the door, Rose could feel the noose tightening around her neck. There was no way that Xander would be able to look at her son and not realize the truth. Until he was about four, Joey had been a towhead and looked more like her sister than anyone. That and distance from Cornwall had bought her time from questions. But now Joey was so much the image of his father that sometimes it was painful for Rose to look at him. They had the same light brown hair, the same wide golden-hazel eyes. Joey had her nose and lighter complexion, but everything else was his father, especially as he got older. In a few years, he’d develop the same strong build and square jaw.
If Xander went into the patient area with her, there’d be no hiding it. Or denying it. As they pushed past the information desk into the E.R. waiting room, she wondered if she should stop and tell him the truth. Put an end to the hiding and the worries. At the very least, warn him before they got inside. They were in the middle of a crowded emergency room, surrounded by strangers with a variety of injuries and infectious diseases. It wasn’t the ideal place or time, but when exactly was? She couldn’t go back eleven years and change things. She either had to tell him or send him home. At least here there were too many witnesses for him to kill her.
“Xander?” She hesitated outside the door that would lead to the pediatric triage area. “Before I go in there, I need to tell you something.”
“Right now?” His brow knit together in concern. “Don’t we need to get back there to Joey?”
“I do,” she said. This was the moment. She could confess. The words were on the tip of her tongue. Then she chickened out. “But you don’t. Please go home. It’s late.”
Xander frowned, his hazel eyes searching her face for answers. “Why do you—?”
“Rose!” The triage door opened and Craig came out.
“We’re coming,” Xander replied.
The expression on Craig’s face was unmistakable. Her brother was not Xander’s biggest fan. He’d been around all these years, acting as Joey’s surrogate father. He probably blamed Xander for not being there, although it wasn’t his fault. Rose hadn’t told Xander about the pregnancy, because he deserved a better life. He would’ve walked away from his scholarship to stay in Cornwall and marry her. He would’ve given up his dreams of a life in politics to work some low-pay unskilled job and support his family.
She wouldn’t ask that of him. And she certainly didn’t want to ask him to take her back just for the sake of their child after she’d pushed him away. But maybe now that he was a success and Joey was older, the time had come. Fate seemed to be nudging her in that direction.
None of that mattered to Craig. As far as he was concerned, Xander was guilty of having sex with his little sister and that was crime enough. “We?”
“Of course,” Xander said. “I’m not just going to drop her on the curb and call our date done because her son is hurt.”
“Her son,” Craig repeated with a smirk. His gaze met Rose’s and she fel
t the urge to shrivel up into herself and disappear. Craig had figured out that Xander didn’t know the truth yet. Fireworks were about to fly in the E.R. and he would have a front-row seat. He shouldn’t look so damn smug about it, though.
“Shush, Craig. Come on.” Resolved to her fate, she took Xander’s hand and pulled him behind her. “Where’s Joey?”
Craig pointed down the hallway. “He’s in the fourth bed down on the pediatric side.” He started down the corridor and they both followed.
“Mom!”
The minute her broken child came into view, everything else that was going on no longer mattered. She let go of Xander and rushed over to her son’s bedside. They had his left arm in a sling to keep him from moving it.
She hugged him gently and brushed his damp hair back to press a kiss on his forehead. His skin was pale and moist from coping with the pain. “Hi, baby. How are you?”
“I’m doing a little better,” he said with a weak smile. “They gave me some medicine and it doesn’t hurt anymore. I also can’t feel my lips.”
Rose smiled. “That’s good. Did they take X-rays yet?”
“No,” Craig interrupted. “They’re coming to do that in a minute.”
Rose nodded but refused to turn and look at Xander. Not yet. She wanted to focus entirely on making sure her son was okay. That was the most important thing.
“Hey, everyone,” one of the nurses said, parting the curtains around his bed. She pushed a wheelchair over to where Rose was standing. “I’m going to take Big Shot here over to X-ray to get a look at this arm.”
Rose and the nurse helped Joey out of bed and got him settled into the chair. “Do I need to go with him?” She desperately hoped the answer would be yes.
“No, it’s better for you all to stay out here. We’ll be back in about fifteen or twenty minutes. Take a break. Get a drink. It will be a long night.”
Rose watched the nurse roll Joey away. The minute the chair rounded the corner, she heard Xander’s quiet, even voice from the other side of the hospital bed.
“I think we need to have a talk, Rose.”
She took a deep breath. The moment had come. She had been waiting eleven long years to finally unburden herself of this secret. Unfortunately, it was the kind of secret that was harder to tell the longer you waited. Now she didn’t have a choice. Rose nodded softly and shot a glance at her brother that said in no uncertain terms that he was to get out.
Craig gave her a disappointed look and started backing away. “I’m going to go see what they have in the gift shop. Text me if you need me.” He disappeared down the hallway.
Now it was just the two of them. And the truth.
“Rose...” His voice trailed off in near disbelief. His palm rubbed over his face, then back over his hair. His hazel gaze was near penetrating as he focused it on her. “Do you have something you need to tell me?”
“I think you already know, Xander. Yes, Joey is your son.”
* * *
The room felt as if it were spinning around him. Xander reached out and steadied himself on the footboard of the hospital bed. He tried to take a deep breath, but his chest was too tight to draw in the air.
He had a son. A ten-year-old son. And she’d never told him.
Rose sat down on the edge of the hospital bed. “I found out that I was pregnant about a week after you left for college. I was about to leave myself and I wasn’t sure what to do. I had broken up with you. You were leaving to do great things.... I decided to just start school and figure it out later. I had time.”
“You had a few months, not a few years, Rose.” He couldn’t keep the bitterness of betrayal from his voice.
“I know. I spent a lot of time at the hospital talking to my mother about my situation. It kept her mind off the treatments and how poorly she felt. She walked me through all my options, but I knew that I wanted to keep our baby. It might be all of you I ever had. She urged me to contact you. You know how moms are. She didn’t have much time left and worried about me doing this on my own. She thought you would marry me if you knew.”
“I would have.”
Rose turned and looked him straight in the eye. “I know. That’s why I didn’t tell you.”
Xander had a hard time processing what she was saying. “You didn’t want to marry me?”
“Of course I wanted to marry you. I wanted to go to D.C. with you, but it just wasn’t meant to be. I didn’t want you to marry me just because of the baby. That wasn’t the path you were on, Xander. Look at all you’ve done in the last eleven years! All that you’ve accomplished... None of that would’ve happened if you had come home and married me.”
Xander opened his mouth to argue with her, but he was struck with the truth of her words. She was right. Even if she had moved to D.C. with him and they’d gotten an apartment in family housing, finishing school would’ve been challenging. He’d had a full-ride scholarship with books, room and board, but it wouldn’t have covered baby food and clothes and diapers. He would’ve had to work. It was hard enough to finish school without the distraction of a young family at home.
“It wasn’t your decision to make,” he said instead.
“I couldn’t let you give up everything you worked so hard for because we made one little mistake.”
“Little? He’s ten years old.”
“I know that I should’ve told you later, maybe, when he was older and you’d finished school. But the longer you keep a secret, the harder it is to tell. I didn’t even know where to start.”
“So you just waited until you had no choice? No wonder you didn’t want to go to dinner and didn’t mention your son all night. Even when you had the chance, you didn’t want to tell me. You’ve had all these years to do it, but no, you wait for the worst possible time. I’m about to start my reelection campaign. My book comes out in two days. I don’t need any scandals right now.”
He watched Rose’s expression crumble into tears and his chest ached for her, even though he didn’t want it to. She had lied to him. Hidden his child from him. And yet she had done it for him. She’d sacrificed her own dreams, her own life, to raise Joey on her own and allow him to live his dream.
He wanted to be angry with her. To shake her and let out some of his pent-up aggression, but he just couldn’t do it. Instead he sank down onto the foot of the bed. “Please stop crying,” he asked.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “Everything I’ve done was to protect your dream. It never occurred to me that Joey and I would still be a liability to your success this far down the road.”
“Well, we’re lucky, I think. The reporters got bored with me very early on and spend most their time digging up other people’s scandals. But the spotlights will be on me during the book tour and the reelection.”
“Can we keep it a secret for a while? No one else needs to know yet, right?”
“Perhaps. If we can keep this quiet for a little while, I might be able to defuse the damage. Compared to the things my colleagues have gotten into, this is hardly headline news.”
“Okay,” she said, her voice quiet.
“Who knows that I’m his father?” Hopefully, the information hadn’t spread too far. The fewer people who knew, the easier it would be to contain it. Given that Molly didn’t know, it had to be pretty hush-hush.
“For certain? Just the two of us, since Mom passed a few weeks after he was born. My brother knows, but I’ve never told him directly. He’s just pieced it all together over the years.”
“How did you explain it to everyone else?”
“I went away to college. I came back a couple years later with a little boy. When people asked, I told them a story about an ill-fated fling at school with a jerk that didn’t love me. Everyone seemed to take it at face value. At the time, there were bigger stories than the father of my child.”
Xander frowned. What did she mean by that? “Bigger stories about you?”
“Not directly. It was several years ago and not important.”
Xander doubted that, but it seemed he could only pull one secret from her at a time. “I’m surprised no one ever asked if he was mine.”
“People around here don’t see Joey very much. He goes to school in Torrington and I only bring him into Cornwall when I don’t have anyone to watch him and I have to work. If people suspect, they’ve been polite enough to keep it to themselves for the most part. A notable exception was Christie Clark, that catty girl from school. She went to Western Connecticut State, too, and saw me pregnant in the grocery store one day. She asked if you were the father and when I told her no, she told me I was a fool for letting the wrong guy knock me up. I wanted to punch her in the face and I was hormonal enough to almost do it.”
Xander felt awful. He knew Rose didn’t have it easy in this town as it was. Her family had never had much money and she’d never fit in the popular set. This probably made it that much harder for her.
“I’m sorry you felt like you had to go through all of this alone.”
Rose smiled and waved her hand dismissively. “I wouldn’t trade Joey for the whole world. Things may not have always been easy, but if I went back in time, I’d make the same decisions. Well, except maybe I would’ve punched Christie Clark.”
At that, Xander had to chuckle. Christie had been a real bitch in school. She thought she was better than everyone else and would always complain loudly that she never understood why Xander had chosen Rose when he could’ve had her instead. He would’ve sooner stuck his penis in a box fan.
“So now what?”
Xander looked up at her. She was right. Joey would be back in a few minutes and they had a lot to work out. They could rehash the past and the hows and the whys for hours, but they needed a plan going forward. “I think you’re right. I say we agree to keep this quiet for the time being. Especially where Joey is concerned. He’s got enough to deal with right now without all that piled on top.”
“Agreed,” she said, looking a touch relieved. She didn’t look as if she were ready to deal with the fallout of her secret, either. “We won’t tell anyone until we determine the timing is right for us both.”
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