by Anna Hackett
“Oh, and he quit,” Marcus added.
She started. “What?”
“He quit the squad. Wouldn’t say anything else.”
She closed her eyes. “I’ll talk to him.”
“I never wanted him off the team. I just want Gabe—the steady, fucking excellent soldier—back.”
“He’s not the same man he was a few months back, Marcus. None of us are the same.” And she suspected before the aliens were done, they’d all be forced to do things to survive, things they’d never have contemplated in their lives before the invasion.
Emerson headed down the tunnel. Gabe wasn’t going to let her in. She was going to have to barge in and make him see reason.
She stopped at the comp lab. As always, she rolled her eyes at the sign on the door—Shh, genius at work. The inside was a chaotic mess. Desks topped with comps filled most of the space, and Noah’s team of geeks worked at their computers. The rest of the place was overflowing with computer parts, tools, wiring and other electronic things she couldn’t identify.
Noah looked up from his messy desk. Today his long, dark hair swung loose, brushing his shoulders. “Doc.”
“Hey, Noah. I need a favor.”
He set down…whatever it was he was working on, and inclined his head.
“Gabe’s locked in his quarters, won’t let anyone in. Can you code in my print so I can talk to him?”
“Heard Hell Squad got hit pretty hard. And Gabe brought them all home.”
She nodded. “He shouldn’t be alone right now.”
“All right.” Noah tapped his screen. “Done.” He paused. “Sure you want to take on a brooding, angry solider like Gabe?”
She lifted her chin. “Yes.”
Noah sat back. “Ah, it’s like that, is it? Never picked Elle and Marcus. Santha and Cruz, yeah, they go together like microchips on a motherboard. You and Jackson…that I didn’t see coming, either.”
“I’m in love with him.” God, saying the words aloud made her feel a bit dizzy.
Noah smiled. “He’s a goddamned lucky man. Go get him.”
Emerson hurried down to the section where Gabe’s quarters were. She stood in front of his door, took a deep breath, and entered.
It was dark.
His quarters were just one large room—bunk against one wall, postage-stamp-size kitchenette in the back corner, one sofa making a lounge area opposite a comp screen.
He sat on the couch, still in his blood-splattered armor. He didn’t turn his head.
“Go away, Emerson.”
His voice was flat, dead, empty.
She decided to get mad. It wasn’t hard. She was mad he was hurt, mad he wouldn’t let her check him, mad he’d quit Hell Squad.
“Your team needs you and you’re sitting here in the dark feeling sorry for yourself?”
He turned his head now, his jaw tight. “I said leave.”
God, she really wanted to check him over. She could see the chest panel of his armor was badly damaged. He had to have injuries under there.
“You should be in the infirmary, if not for yourself, for your squad.”
“They aren’t my squad. Not anymore. And they sure as hell don’t need me.”
Her heart beat heavier. “You quit.”
“Yeah. They’re better off without me.”
“You’ve been a key part of Hell Squad since Day One, Gabe…”
“I’m no good for them,” he burst out.
She sucked in a breath. “That’s not—”
“I almost got them all killed.” His yelled words echoed in the small room. He clenched his hands and pressed them to his forehead. “Marcus has just found Elle. Cruz has a baby on the way. And they were both almost dead bodies because of me. Reed’s eye—”
“Is okay.” She didn’t say anything else. She recognized that he needed to get this out.
“I didn’t stay with the team, didn’t work with them, didn’t have their backs. I let a fucking raptor lure me into a trap like a green academy recruit.”
“Gabe, please, listen to me. The mission went wrong, and it sounds like you made a bad choice, for the right reasons. But your team members, they’ll recover, they’re recovering right this instant. You’re a vital part of that team.”
“Not anymore.”
His cold tone said he wouldn’t be budged. God, she’d have better luck talking to a rock.
His gaze hit hers. “I’m better alone. Always have been. No more feelings. I’m not letting them drive me anymore.”
She stilled. “What are you saying?”
“I’ve let all this fucking ugly angriness drive me to be an idiot. Can’t let that happen anymore. Those army doctors who enhanced me, made me stronger, they warned me that the best soldiers didn’t feel. Don’t let anyone too close. ” His gaze was even and direct. “We’re done, too, Emerson. It was never going to work, anyway. It’s better you stay away from me.” He turned away from her.
She knew he was hurting, but his words were still a blow. That he would throw away what they had with such ease. “Gabe—”
“Fuck. Just go, Emerson. I don’t want you here. I don’t want you pushing and pushing, expecting things from me I don’t have to give to you.”
She closed her eyes. The pain was excruciating, making her numb inside. Hadn’t a part of her always worried that Gabe just didn’t feel what she did? Apparently, she’d been right.
She didn’t say anything else. She pressed a hand to her chest, like it would keep her bleeding heart in place and stumbled out of his room.
She didn’t want to go to her quarters, or the infirmary. And she didn’t want to see anyone else.
When she saw patients, she was always upbeat, wore a brave face. But right now, she couldn’t pretend everything was going to be all right.
She started running, with no idea where she was headed.
***
Emerson sat near the raised vegetable beds in the hydroponic gardens, her arms wrapped around her upraised knees. Normally, she enjoyed visiting here. It always smelled fresh and green, and Old Man Hamish always ensured the plants were lush and thriving.
She wasn’t letting herself think or feel. If she sat still and just enjoyed her surroundings, kept her mind blank, it almost worked.
Almost.
Footsteps. Someone sat down beside her and then someone else on the other side of her. She opened her eyes.
Elle and Santha.
Emerson heaved out a sigh.
“I take it that it didn’t go well with Gabe?” Santha asked.
“No.” Her voice was a jerky whisper.
“Want to talk about it?” Elle asked.
“He…doesn’t want me.”
Santha snorted. “Sure he does. He’d just afraid, Emerson. He has been since he lost Zeke.”
“Or maybe before that. Since the army made him different,” Elle added.
Emerson rubbed her cheek on her knee. “He doesn’t want me pushing at him.”
“Maybe, but he needs it.” Santha shifted. “He’s just too alpha to admit he’s scared spitless. Gabe strikes me as the guy who thinks he has to be the perfect super-soldier all the time. Hell Squad relies on his enhanced senses in the field, his strength, his spooky ability to sneak up on the bad guys. He feels if he’s anything less than perfect, he’s failed them.”
“He’s been floundering since Zeke died,” Elle said quietly. “He needs you, Emerson.”
“It hurts,” she whispered.
“Love does,” Santha pronounced.
Emerson’s mind, and her heart, shied away from the word. “Gabe’s a grown man. He has to decide what he really wants. I can’t be his quick fix to get by. Not anymore.” She straightened. “I should get back to the infirmary. I have work to do.”
Santha raised a brow. “It’s always work with you, isn’t it?”
Emerson stiffened. Where had she heard that before? “We don’t all have hearts and rainbows like the two of you.” She pushed to her feet.
&nbs
p; The other women rose, too.
“If you’re looking for hearts and rainbows from Gabe, then I’m not surprised you’re here nursing a broken heart.” Santha’s words were cool and matter-of-fact.
“He’s not that kind of guy,” Elle added.
“No, he’s not,” Santha continued. “Doc, if you want easy, then you leave him alone from now on. Gabe will never be easy or comfortable. He’ll always be intense and dangerous. If you keep expecting easy, you’ll break him.”
“Break him?” Emerson spluttered. “He dumped me!”
Santha waved a dismissive hand. “He’s just running scared and being an idiot. Are you really going to give up on him so easily?”
That knocked the fight out of Emerson. She trembled. “I’m in love with him.”
Relief flashed through Santha’s pale-green eyes. Elle was beaming.
“Good. Then you need a plan of attack to bring him to his senses.” Santha squeezed Emerson’s shoulder. “Sometimes these alpha soldiers need saving from themselves.”
Elle laughed. “Look who’s talking.” Elle ignored the face Santha pulled, and looked at Emerson. “Make him work a little.”
Santha eyed Emerson’s lab coat. “He ever see you in anything other than that lab coat?”
“He’s seen me naked.” God, how long had it been since she’d dressed up? Worn something to make herself feel good? “Besides, he really digs the lab coat.”
“I have an idea,” Elle said with a wide smile.
Santha cocked a hip. “And I happen to know that Mr. Broody is attempting to drink himself into a mindless stupor in the rec room.”
Oh? So Gabe wasn’t still brooding in his room.
Santha nodded. “When we’re done with you, you’ll bring him to his knees.”
“And his senses,” Elle added.
Emerson wasn’t sure if she should be excited or afraid. But she knew she couldn’t give up on Gabe.
Chapter Fourteen
Gabe knocked back another shot and slammed the glass down on the makeshift bar.
Beside him, Shaw did the same, then grimaced. “Okay, I think that’s enough of this rotgut.”
The homebrewed liquor wasn’t smooth. It burned all the way down, but at least it was working to cloud Gabe’s head. That was enough for him.
He nodded at the bartender. “Again.”
Shaw heaved a sigh.
“You wanted to have a good time,” Gabe said. “Maybe I’ll get lucky, too.”
Shaw made a choking noise and Gabe grimly drank his next shot. He had absolutely no interest in any of the soldier bunnies flitting around the rec room. He didn’t give a shit if some of the women in the base were frank about the fact they enjoyed sex, and liked it even more with a soldier. In fact, he found the attitude refreshing.
But he had zero interest in any woman…except one.
Shaw coughed and spoke, his voice sounding strangled. “Holy hell. You need to check out the babe who just walked in.”
Vaguely curious, Gabe glanced at the door. And almost swallowed his tongue.
Emerson had just strode in. She stood, hands on her hips, eying the room.
She was wearing her lab coat, but that’s where anything usual ended. Her hair was a sleek cloud of blonde around her face, her eyes were rimmed with something dark that made them look even larger than normal, and her lips were wild red. Her skirt was black, and tight, and while it ended demurely at her knees, there was nothing fucking demure about it. It hugged every single one of her curves. Her top—and there wasn’t much of it—was red and strapless, and cupped her breasts like a lover’s hands. Her outfit ended with red heels that looked like lethal weapons.
Shaw let out a low whistle. “The doc looks miiiighty fine.” The sniper slapped a hand to his chest. “Well, since you said you guys are over, I think I’ll offer to buy her a drink.”
“Shut it, Baird,” Gabe growled. He noticed most of the male heads in the room had turned toward the doc. His pulse was hammering in his ears and he couldn’t drag his gaze off her. Without thinking, he shot to his feet and strode over to her.
When she saw him, her face smoothed out and she cocked a hip.
“What do you think you’re doing?” he said furiously.
“Enjoying myself.”
“You’re dressed like…like…”
Her eyes narrowed. “Like a woman looking for someone who won’t take me for granted? Someone who’ll man up and commit?” She leaned closer. “Someone who isn’t a coward?”
Gabe gritted his teeth. He’d told her they were over. That meant she could fuck whoever the hell she wanted.
Goddammit it, no.
She tossed her head back. “I plan to grab a drink. Maybe find someone to dance with.”
“You want to dance? We’ll dance.” He gripped her arm and dragged her over to the unofficial dance floor.
The one couple swaying to the music of the two guys playing guitar saw them coming. One look at Gabe’s face and the dancers took off. The musicians faltered for a second, until Gabe looked their way. The music resumed with gusto.
He pulled a stiff and pissed-looking Emerson into his arms. Gabe didn’t dance. Ever. He swayed a bit to the beat, which was all he could manage.
“Why are you doing this, Gabe?”
He felt the muscles in his shoulders flex. Damn if he could find any words to explain himself.
“You were pretty clear you don’t want to be with me. That you weren’t willing to take the risk. But you don’t want anyone else to have me, either?”
His hands tightened on her arms.
She sighed. A broken sound that cut through him deeper than a laser.
“I’m falling in love with you, Gabe. How’s that for honesty?”
He stilled, his hands digging into her arms.
She looked up at him, her gaze traveling over his face. Then the expectant look on her face fell. “You’d look less scared if a pack of canids charged into the room.” She started to pull away from him.
He didn’t let her go. “I am scared.”
She went rigid, then slowly relaxed. “You don’t have to work it out alone, big guy.” Her voice was quiet. She held out a hand. “I’ve never been in love, either. Let’s work it out together.”
He stared at her slim fingers. “I’m…not good at this. And I’m not like other men.”
She smiled. “I know. That’s why I love you.”
Damn. His heart hit his ribs so hard it hurt. She loved him? Dr. Emerson Green loved a rough, risky grunt like him?
“I’m dangerous. I don’t even know everything the army did to me. I don’t want you hurt.”
“That’s the one thing I know you’d never do, Gabe. You fight for everyone else, but never for yourself. Sometimes you have to just have a little faith and trust, and take a leap.”
She was right. It was time he trusted the people around him. He grabbed her hand and pulled it against his chest. Her eyes turned luminous.
He hauled her closer. “We do this, I won’t let you go again. You’ll be mine.”
“Good,” she murmured.
He decided it was time everyone knew Emerson Green was his.
He scooped her up in his arms. She laughed, sliding her arm across his shoulders. Around them, the room erupted in catcalls and whistles.
“Where are you taking me, big guy?”
He lowered his voice. “I want to fuck you while you wear only those shoes.”
She sucked in a breath.
“And your lab coat.”
***
Gabe did the calculations. His room was closer.
He slammed the door open and as soon as he kicked it shut, he had Emerson up against the wall, his lips devouring hers.
His hands shaped her hips, then slid up under her skirt. Her glorious curves were bare beneath. No underwear. Hell.
He found the fastening on her skirt. She was making those little breathy sounds that drove him crazy. It took him a few seconds to yank th
e skirt off her. Her poor excuse for a top followed. He groaned. “You are so beautiful, and so sexy you drive me out of my mind.”
Her hands dug into his shoulders. “Gabe.”
Lifting her up, he carried her to the bed and lowered her down. It took him a few seconds to strip off his clothes, then he was lowering himself onto her. He pulled one of her thighs up and around his hip.
She writhed against him. “Don’t make me wait any—”
There was no more waiting. In one swift move, he thrust into her.
Her head flew back and she cried out his name. He buried himself balls deep. He needed her warmth around him. She clung to him, her arms and legs wrapping around him. He felt those wicked heels digging into his ass.
As he moved inside her, she made those little cries again. “Oh, you fill me up.”
And she filled him too—her light filled the hollow emptiness inside him. She helped him chase out the dark.
He rode her hard and fast, and she welcomed every powerful thrust, her hands roaming over every inch of him she could reach.
He felt her orgasm coming in the tightening of her body and his own growing in the electric shocks flicking up his spine. He leaned down and kissed her.
He thrust again and she came. He swallowed her wild cry.
A moment later, he followed her, groaning her name.
Chest heaving, he buried his face in the side of her neck. He’d only been without her for hours, but even that had ripped him up.
She was here, in his arms. Every gorgeous, sexy inch of her. She was so far inside him, he’d never get her out, didn’t want to get her out.
Emerson was all his.
***
Emerson’s internal alarm told her it was morning. She’d learned to trust it, as there was no sunlight in the base to give her body the cues.
She snuggled deeper into Gabe’s chest. Their legs were tangled together and every inch of her felt lazy. His big hand was tracing her back and she smiled at the way he touched her. With a hint of reverence.
Something started beeping, cutting into her sense of peace. Communicator. Dammit. “Is that mine, or yours?”
He moved, reaching out an arm. “Mine.”
She turned, pressing her lips to his skin. Hmm, all that bare chest. He was talking into the communicator, his voice rumbling through his chest. Then his tone hardened and Emerson frowned and sat up, pushing her hair out of her face.