Walking outside again she saw and heard him speak to her quietly, as if not wanting anyone else to hear.
"Can we go somewhere quiet, Isabella? Alone?"
The request startled her as it was something new from Adrian, but she had no reason to fear him or worry about his intentions, so she nodded.
"Of … of course, Adrian. Where did you have in mind?"
"Come. Walk with me. I want to show you something."
They walked down the same path they had that morning, and he led her further down the path that he took each morning to get to the mill. But before the mill came into view he stopped and looked at her.
"I want to show you a place that I found a few days ago. I haven't told anyone else about it because, to be honest, it is quite nice to have somewhere that is just mine for the moment. But I do want to share it with you."
Isabella found herself rather intrigued so nodded at him but said nothing. She then found her hand taken in his as he started to walk with her beside him, off the path and into an area of open ground where only grass and a handful of low growing bushes grew.
They walked a way before he stopped and turned to her.
"Here we are," he said, smiling as if he were showing her a great secret, but she could see nothing different so was only confused. "Sit down. Here."
Isabella followed his direction and the two of them sat on the grass. It was not something that she normally did so immediately she felt different just from doing that, but still the look on his face confounded her. She just could not sense what had him so … excited.
"Do you feel it?" he asked, desperate for her to confirm that he was not imagining things.
"What?"
"Put your hands flat on the ground … like this," he said, demonstrating by putting both palms flat down on the grass. He saw her do the same before he continued. "Do you feel it?"
Finally he saw a look of realization on her face.
"Adrian, the ground is warm - very warm…" she said with a look of incomprehension on her face. "How … how can it be so warm as that, Adrian? This late in the day, with the sun starting to go down."
"I don't know," he said, now feeling even more excited. "I don't know how or why it is happening, but it is happening."
"But is it always like this?"
"I don't know! That is just it - we never come out here after the sun comes down so we always assume the ground is warm from the sun, do we not?" he asked and saw her nod slowly. "But what if it isn't, Isabella? What if it isn't the sun that makes our ground so warm all the time?"
Isabella was stunned. She had been brought up to believe that warmth came from the sun, and that they never went out at night because it would be far too cold without the sun above, in the sky. There had never been any reason to even think about the possibility that the warmth didn't come from above.
"You think that this warmth is coming … from below?" she asked, pointing one finger downward into the soil. She saw him nod, maintaining the large smile of excitement on his face. "But how, Adrian? How could that be?"
"I don't know, but I want to find out!" He paused before speaking more. "But Isabella, I don't want other people to know about this. I don't want to get you - or me - into trouble by asking questions. I will try and figure this out, but with much discretion so that no-one knows I am asking about it. I don't know who knows about this, so I want to be careful."
He saw her nod her head again, slowly.
"Alright, but please be careful Adrian. If someone knows the answer to this mystery and has not been honest with everyone all of these years…"
"Yes, I agree. I don't know who to trust about it. It could be that generations have been telling each next generation the same thing, and no-one knows about whatever it is that is generating the heat. But I don't want to risk the wrong person knowing I am asking questions. Do you promise to keep it to yourself?"
"Yes! Of course. I would not do anything that could result in you getting into trouble, Adrian. You know that."
"Thank you. But Isabella there is something else I wish to talk to you about…"
She saw his face take on a serious unease all of a sudden, making him seem more morose than she had ever seen him before.
"Yes?" she asked him, nudging him to keep speaking even though he did seem extremely awkward in that moment.
"I…" he started but had a moment of panic, wondering if he should say something or if there was a chance that he would spoil things for them. It was such a long term friendship, did he really want to risk upsetting her and ruining it?
He continued to hesitate but Isabella knew him well so sat patiently, watching him in his struggle to find the right words he needed for whatever he needed to say in that moment in time.
"Isabella, have you … wondered … thought about … finding someone to …" He was stumbling, he knew, but kept going regardless. "Finding someone to … pair with?"
Isabella was stunned. He had never brought up this topic - it was one thing that they had never covered in their conversations as friends. As a result she found herself as tongue tied as he had just been, but she could see that he was eager and waiting for an answer.
"No."
"Just like that? You answer so easily…"
"Adrian, you asked if I had thought about it, and I have not. How were you hoping I would answer?"
"I wished you would answer yes, and that you would consider me … you and I … to be suitable for it."
She should have been surprised but she wasn't. Nothing physical had ever happened between her and Adrian but hearing such a declaration … such a question … somehow did not surprise her. And now she realized she was in a position where she could really hurt her close friend if she did not find the right answer to give him.
"I esteem you greatly, Adrian - you know that. And if I were thinking about that yet, I do believe that you would be someone I would be considering. But I'm not thinking about that yet."
"But Isabella, we are 21 years of age! Do you not think it is time?"
"Yes. And I do know that my mother and father wish for me to pair soon, and provide them with another generation of our family."
"Well then!"
"But it is still not something I yet feel that I am ready for. I'm sorry, Adrian. I can see that you wanted me to say yes, and perhaps you wanted me to choose you … and perhaps when the time is right - if you are still free to pair then…"
He looked at her sharply.
"I'm not going anywhere! I want to set up a life with you. I'm not going to pair with anyone else!"
"But how do you know?" she asked and he looked confused by the question. "How do you know that I am who you want to pair with? We are such good friends…"
"Yes! We are good long term friends. We know so much about each other. We know what each other likes and what each other dislikes. What could be a better grounding for a pairing than that, if we are to share the rest of our lives as partners?"
She listened to his justification and could not find any fault with it. There really was not any real reason that she could see why the two of them could not go through the pairing and share their lives so closely entwined. And yet, knowing that justification did not instil in her a desire to do it. But she found she was greatly concerned regarding how she could talk to him about this, without hurting him or making him feel neglected or rejected in some way.
Suddenly he was shaking his head and standing up.
"Don't answer. Your lack of … enthusiasm … shows me how you feel. You don't need to say anything more, Isabella."
She stood up and faced him, before doing something she had not done before. She moved closer to him and wrapped her arms around him, desperate to not let him be upset by her words. And when she was holding him close, she found that it was not at all an uncomfortable thing to do.
Adrian was surprised … shocked … stunned … but welcomed her arms around him, and in return wrapped his around her. With their heads resting on each other's
shoulders, he closed his eyes and breathed in the scent of her, and wished desperately that she could look at him the same way that he looked at her.
Suddenly he felt his body slightly twitch in reaction and it confused him but not enough for him to know that he had to pull away from her.
Withdrawing backwards, he watched her face as she focused on his.
"We should get back to our families. I will walk you to your home."
Silently they walked beside each other, not touching in any way, until they stood outside the house where Isabella lived with her parents.
Before he could move away and leave her, she moved closer to him.
"I love having you as my friend, Adrian. I know that is not what you want to hear, but it is all that I can offer you for now," she said and he nodded at her, resigned to wait for however long he would have to, in the hope that she would change her mind.
3 ~ THE JOURNEY
Trent Solace stood on the summit of the mountain and stared out in all directions that he could see. From where he stood he was amazed at the feeling of intoxication that came from the freshness of the air, and the views from this height above sea level. There were things he had wanted to escape from in his home city. He had not meant to fall in love with a married woman but had done so, regardless. At 30 years old, he knew it was a stupid thing to have done but how could he help it? She had made herself available so easily. She had appeared wherever he was located for his work. She had followed him to wherever he was for his pleasure. She had gone out of her way to lure him after that first time she had seen him, and he had too easily and desperately succumbed to her advances.
Her suggestion for her to leave her husband for him had been what had tipped him over the edge, realizing that it was not love he felt for her at all. Spending time with her like they had been was one thing but marriage had never been on his agenda. No, he had watched his mother and father endure hating each other for too many years when he was a child, and he would never consider marriage a true path for him. It was something that others were meant to do … but not him. He was a bachelor, through and through, and he would happily stay that way.
He could still remember the conversation so clearly.
"I am going to leave him, Trent. I will get the lawyer to draw up the divorce papers tomorrow and then it won't be long before you and I can finally get married," she had said, as if he was not required for any part of the decision making process. "We will have a large wedding, with so many guests. And you don't need to worry about the cost. I will have enough money from the divorce to be able to pay for it all. It will be so big that society page journalists will want to pay us for the exclusive coverage of it…"
He had listened to her go on and on, completely oblivious to the fact that he had not asked her to marry him. That he had not even said anything to her about her declaration that she was going to get divorced.
"Stop!" he had said loudly when he knew he could not bear to hear anymore. "For God's sake, please just stop!"
She had looked at him as if he were speaking another language.
"Stop … what?"
"Just stop … talking," he said, trying to get his breathing, thoughts and speaking under control. "And don't get a divorce because I'm not going to marry you."
"What?" she asked, her head shaking from side to side as if to her he was speaking an entirely different language.
"You heard me. I'm not going to marry you. I'm not going to marry anyone … ever. So don't worry yourself about getting a divorce because there is absolutely no need for it. Stay with your husband. We are done," he had said and just walked way from her. Whatever he had felt for her, it had in that moment instantaneously evaporated, and he knew that was a final judgment on his feelings. The feeling or consideration of being in love with her was gone and he knew it would not come back to him.
As he had expected, she had then increased her efforts to be close to him, no matter where he went or who he was with. So he had done something he had always dreamed of but never gotten around to - packed up an extensive list of small essentials into a tramping pack and left, with full intention of getting as far away as possible from her … and from society in general.
He was tired of crowds, he was tired of technology, and he was tired of screens everywhere. Big or small, sometimes he felt like they had taken over the world, and he wanted to be away from it all and touch base with fresh air and nature again.
So he had taken off, driving as close to the mountain he was presently on as he could, before getting out, laden with supplies and essentials, and just walking away.
He had tramped over that first mountain, only to find that once he reached a decent height, on the other side of it - hidden from his initial public view - he could then see another mountain. And so he had tramped down the far side of the initial one, passed through a valley that provided him with the enjoyment of water for bathing, washing his clothes and replenishing his immediate hydration and drinking water supply.
Then he had started to walk up another mountain.
~~~~~
Three mountains over, it now seemed like many months he had been away but he had been tallying the night times in the small notebook he carried with him, and knew it wasn't as long as it appeared.
When he had set out he had wanted solitude and for the duration of time until now he certainly had found it. Even animals seemed to be in short supply where he walked, so sometimes it felt like he was not only the only person on the planet, but indeed the living thing. Initially it had been invigorating. Then it had been lonely.
Now it was just … peaceful. He felt inside of him a beautiful calm - something he had never had in the populated world. Once away from the stresses of daily life, it had been easy for him to realize just how many stresses there had been. Things that shouldn't contribute to stress - sourcing food, keeping warm, keeping sheltered, talking to people - so many things that should be so easy but always had other conditions attached to them. To eat he had to have money - stress. To have money he had to earn - stress. To earn money he had to have a job - stress. To have a job he had to deal with so many people - stress. It went on and on and on. Day after day. And no matter how many things he found to distract him - the many women, including finding a married woman to share pleasure with - the core stresses never went away.
While in the concrete and steel jungle, it was impossible to be away from it. So leave the concrete and steel jungle, he had. And in no way did it compare with how he was feeling right now, enjoying the fresh air that he could lay claim to all by himself.
~~~~~
As always when he reached the heights of each mountain, he looked through the binoculars again, up here on another summit. So much could be seen from this high up, he was thinking to himself, when in the distance he saw something … different.
At first his eyes, through the binoculars, passed over it, but then he found his sight returning to the lie of the line of horizon meeting the mountain line, and he had to look again a third time.
It wasn't a mountain range at all - not at the very top.
It was a structure … something man made. And to have been able to be seen from as far away as he was, it must be extremely immense in size.
~~~~~
He stood for a long time, trying to focus better on it but the focus of the binoculars was already at its maximum point and he couldn't see any clearer from here.
Instead he looked at the distance between where he was currently standing, and where it appeared to be. He would have to climb down this mountain, and then over another two. Then he would be at the base of what he was certain would be the mountain that the structure was sitting on top of.
Suddenly he felt his heart racing and a sense of excitement come over him. He looked up at the sky and hoped for good weather. He knew he had been lucky so far in that regard. With the exception of three nights when it had lightly rained, generally there had not been a drop in sight so he had been able to keep dry, which
in turn meant he had been able to easily keep warm in his cold weather gear.
So far his body seemed to be holding up remarkably well considering he was not a 'tramper' as such. He guessed it was his lifelong dedication to physical fitness that helped him - certainly it helped him to be able to walk extremely long distances without feeling like he was too exerted. Not that he was in any hurry - he had left his job and let a friend move into his apartment so could take as long as he wanted to. He didn't need money and he didn't need any material things from the city. With the exception of a good meal, which he definitely thought about fairly regularly when walking, there was nothing else he desired or needed other than what he readily had access to. He wasn't a hunter - and even if he was, he never seemed to see any animals at all on this trek - but he had learned enough to be able to locate and sufficiently prepare the right flora to see him through. And the extensive bundles of dried goods in his pack, of course, but he rationed them out and only had small amounts on days where he absolutely could not find anything else to eat. It probably wasn't a wise plan - it probably wasn't a right plan - but it was a plan that so far was working for him anyway.
~~~~~
After sitting down on the summit and basking in the warmth of the sunlight up there, he stood up and prepared to leave. In the middle of the day with the sun out there was warmth to be had - with as many layers that he had on - but it was still a freezing climate on the upper half of each of the mountains he had made his way over and around since he had begun on his journey. He was no expert but he had learned through trial and error that it was best to enjoy the top views in the heat of the middle of the day, and then edge down the other side of the mountain before late afternoon, and set himself up with a small camp for the night in the protection of the mountainside.
This night as he lay in his sleeping blanket and tiny pup tent he thought about the structure he had seen. Being the realist he was, he had to allow for the fact that he had been seeing things. It was a mirage. At those altitudes he expected the mind could play extreme tricks on anyone. And yet, even thinking to himself that it could have been a trick of his mind or his eyes, he still felt excitement at the prospect of something being out there.
The Golden Desires Page 2