Sexy Red Hood

by Devoré, Daryl

  "No, no. My fault. I'm so lost." He picked up his ticket and Red's, glanced at them then handed Red's to her. Adjusting his shoulder bag, he asked, "You wouldn't happen to know…" He held out his ticket.

  Red checked his room location and pressed the elevator call button. "This side of the ship. When you get out of the elevator go left. Room should be on your right."

  "You seem to know your way around. Do you work on a cruise ship?"

  She laughed and looked past the ticket at the man. He was nicely built, blue-eyes and blond hair with a two adorable dimples. "No, I've cruised before."

  "This is my first. I'm so lost. Oh, I said that already." He took a big breath and slowly let it out. "Andrew Woodsman. My friends call me Chopper."

  "Hi Chopper. I'm Red Hood." Second cute introduction inside of ten minutes. And on a senior's cruise, at that. "You know, I have to ask - why Chopper?"

  "I'm gonna go for broke here. How about I tell you at lunch? Burgers and beer?"

  His face had that lost puppy look that could melt any girl's heart. It melted Red's. Smiling, she nodded. "Sounds good."

  The elevator doors opened. He put his hand on it to hold it until he entered. "I'll come and get you, say, 12:15?"

  "How about I come and get you, Mr. I'm So Lost?"

  He stepped inside. "Meet me at the purser's desk. I've found that three times already." The doors started to close.

  "OK." Red waved and walked to her room.

  Swiping the pass key through the lock, she opened the door when the light turned green. As promised, her luggage had been placed just inside the room. She stepped around the two suitcases, picked up her shoulder bag and tossed her purse and key card on the desk. A page of Wi-Fi instructions rested next to the flat screen TV. Good. I won't be cut off from the real world.

  Opening her shoulder bag, she pulled out her laptop, turned it on and waited for it to connect to the ship's system. She emailed her mother saying she'd arrived, then checked for messages. Everything else could wait. She was on vacation – sort of.

  Turning around, she continued her exploration. The living room area had a couch with four emerald green throw pillows, two comfortable looking chairs and large seascape hung on the wall, above the couch. A spectacular bouquet of flowers sat on the coffee table. Red pulled the little card out of its holder - Compliments of The Emerald Forest.

  To the right a closet and the bathroom were located. Walking into the bedroom area, Red jumped on the king-sized bed and sighed. A huge bed. Now if I could get Hot and Sexy in here. Or maybe Mr. I'm So Lost. I think I could use a little ship board action and release some pent up frustration.

  Glancing at her watch, she saw she didn't have a lot of time to spare before she was to meet Chopper for lunch. She walked back to the living room to get her luggage, but the view from the balcony stopped her. Sliding the glass door open, she stepped outside. The warm gulf air brushed across her face. We left port? How can a ship this big move and I not notice?

  Captivated by the view, Red watched the waves ripple past and the occasional seagull soar overhead. She inhaled the warm air and let the sun shine on her face. A knock at the door brought her out of her reverie. She crossed the room and opened it.

  "Hello. Did you forget about lunch?" Chopper asked.

  Red glanced at her watch. "Oh good heavens. I was standing on the balcony. I guess I lost track of the time. Come in. Have a seat. Give me a minute to change."

  Chopper whistled as he entered. "Look at this place. This is great. I've got a closet with a bed in it. You've got a palace. And your own balcony." He pointed at the glass doors. "May I?"

  "Go ahead. I'll only be a second." Red grabbed the suitcases and hurried to the bedroom. Rifling through the clothes, she found a tank top and a pair of shorts that didn't look too much like she'd packed for the cruise in under fifteen minutes. As she changed, she caught her reflection in the mirror. Gawd, I look like a ghost. I really need a tan. She slipped on a pair of black Croc flip-flops.

  When she stepped into the living room, Chopper moved from the desk. He pointed at the bouquet. "Nice flowers. Boyfriend?"

  Red shook her head. "No. They're compliments of the cruise line." She picked up her purse and key card. "Let's go, I'm starved."

  Inside the elevator, Chopper said, "I have a confession to make."

  "We've known each other for like five minutes, what do you have to confess?"

  "I don't exactly know where the restaurant is. We might just end up in the engine room."

  She put her hands on her hips. "Oh, so you're just using me as a tour guide?"

  "Yes, but I'll pay for lunch."

  "The food's free."

  He chucked her under the chin. "I can afford free."

  Red laughed. As the elevator doors opened, she led the way to the small restaurant.

  They ordered cheeseburgers, fries and beer, then requested their meal be served on deck. Chopper spotted two unoccupied lounge chairs on the starboard side of the ship, partially in the shade with a view of the ocean, if a person hunched down and looked under the lifeboat.

  Tilting his head toward the boats, he said, "I'm glad we found those. I'll be able to find them when the lifeboat drill happens. It's important you know." His face looked serious.

  Red tilted her head. "Why?"

  "I saw Titanic. Six times. "

  She snickered. "No icebergs in the Caribbean. I think you can relax."

  He pointed at her. "Bermuda Triangle."

  "We're going to Mexico and then to Grand Cayman. Totally different direction. This really is your first time."

  "Does it show? Darn, here I thought I was being as cool as James Bond."

  She rolled her eyes. "I love the view you've chosen for us. Lunch by lifeboat. How…" She caught herself from saying romantic and changed it to "wonderful. I think that's our food."

  The waiter placed their lunches on a side table between them.

  Chopper picked up his beer bottle and held it out to Red. "To my first cruise."

  "To no icebergs in the Caribbean." They clinked bottles in salute.

  To silence her rumbling stomach, Red wolfed down several fries then picked up her cheeseburger and took a large bite. She munched away in silence. Holding a French fry, she used it to point at her lunch mate and asked, "So how did you get named Chopper?"

  He swallowed a bite of hamburger. "Remember my name is Andrew Woodsman."

  Red nodded and took a sip of beer.

  "Woodsman. Lumber jack. Man who chops down trees." He made the motion of swinging an axe.

  "Oh, I get it. Guess Chopper is better than Lumberjack."

  He pointed at her. "And taking a wild stab, you're called Red because of your hair."

  "Not much gets past you."

  "Red Hood, what do you do for a living?"

  She dabbed her last fry into the ketchup. "I'm a junior accountant. My job description reads - a junior accountant's responsibility is to provide accounting support to senior accountants."

  "Sounds exciting."

  "If you think that's exciting, you must have no life." Finished with her lunch, Red wiped her mouth and placed the napkin on the plate. "What does Chopper Woodsman do?"

  "Sixth grade teacher in an all boys school."

  "I was right, you have no life."

  He laughed so hard his beer sprayed from his mouth.

  The waiter walked up. "Can I get anything else for you?" Both shook their heads.

  "I'll sign for the beers and tip," said Red. Chopper was about to protest when she stopped him with a smile. "In honor of your first cruise, I'll buy the first beers."

  "OK. Want to go for a walk around the deck? I've already seen a lot of the inside of the ship and the elevators, now I'd like to see the outside."

  "What, and give up our prime seats?"

  "We all have to make sacrifices." He stood, held out his hand and helped her stand. It was a warm hand, a strong one. As she held it, giddiness overcame her that put a bounce in
her walk and a tingle in her pussy.

  People were everywhere. Both the pool and hot tub were crowded. The tennis courts had four players on the courts and four waiting to play. There were groups of golfers at every hole of the mini-putt course and others standing in line. At the giant chess set, several people were watching while two players battled it out.

  They walked up a staircase to a new level, then paused long enough at a bar to order drinks. "Too many to choose from." Red rubbed her chin. "I think I'll try a Coco Loco with Tequila."

  Chopper's eyebrows rose. "Didn't figure you for the Tequila type. I'll have a Black and Gold Punch."

  When the drinks were placed on the bar, Chopper insisted it was his turn to pay, then he led the way back out into the sunshine. They took their drinks, sipping them, as they continued to explore the various decks.

  Standing in the shade, leaning on a railing overlooking a pool, water slide, hot tub and rock climbing wall, Red asked, "Why are you on this cruise?"

  "Last minute booking. Cheap rate. Cheap is affordable on my salary." He gazed out at the gulf. "I was looking for a change. Something completely different from an all boys private school. How about you?"

  "I was sent here by my mother to babysit my grandmother."

  Chopper pointed out to the crowd of passengers either swimming, or lounging in the sun. "So which of the sweet, little, old ladies is she?"

  Red pointed. "That one. The one on the rock climbing wall."

  Chapter Three

  "Esmerelda! What are you doing here?" Red's grandmother walked toward her, but was unexpectedly hauled back by the still attached safety rope. She twisted around trying to reach the clasp. "Get this thing off of me." The rock climbing attendant unhooked the safety catch.

  Before Red could speak, she heard Chopper's chuckle. She cast a glare over her shoulder. Switching to a grin, she turned back to her grandmother. "Grandma, you're looking wonderful."

  Just above a whisper, Chopper said, "Certainly doesn't look like she needs babysitting. Esmerelda."

  Red gave him a soft elbow to the ribs.

  "Umph."

  "Your mother sent you, didn't she?" She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Oh that daughter-in-law of mine." She kissed Red's cheek. "Hello, love. You're looking pale. But beautiful."

  For seventy-three, Sara Hood was a fantastic-looking woman. Her pixie-cut, silver hair shone in the sunshine and her eyes twinkled as she looked past her granddaughter to the man standing attentively behind. She put out her hand. "Sara Hood. And you are?"

  "Andrew Woodsman." He shook her waiting hand. "At your service."

  The rock climbing attendant discreetly coughed. "Ma'am, may we have the climbing gear back? There are people waiting." His hand waved toward the crowd near the climbing wall.

  "Why don't you take your young man over to the table by…see the waiter there?" Her grandmother pointed to a table. "The ladies are there. Why don't you two join them?" Sara undid her safety helmet as she walked back with the attendant. "Oh, and I'll have a margarita," she yelled back at her granddaughter.

  "Crap! The ladies are here." Red sighed.

  Chopper chuckled. "This sounds like it could be good."

  They walked toward the group of women seated at the table near the railing. "The ladies are my grandmother's knitting group." She made air-quotes around knitting group.

  Chopper snickered.

  "Except they don't knit. They party and chase widowed grandfathers." Red stopped near a table of seven vivacious older women. "Hello everyone. You are all looking fabulous."

  A chorus of "Red!"and "Esmerelda!" greeted them. Red noticed as the women greeted her, they checked out Chopper.

  "May we join you? Grandma should be here in a moment."

  Gallantly, Chopper went to locate two chairs. As he offered one to Red, she leaned in close. "You know you just got checked out by seven grandmothers. And I think the one behind you is about to pinch your ass."

  He plopped his butt onto a plastic lounge chair as Sara joined the party. She glanced at the empty table. "No drink? I'm parched." She snapped her fingers. A waiter scurried over. "Margaritas for everyone." Glancing at Chopper, she asked, "You do drink margaritas?"

  "I do now."

  Sara tapped his arm. "Good answer. Now, introduce yourself."

  "Oh, uh, hi." He waved sheepishly. "My name is Andrew Woodsman. But my friends call me Chopper." He paused as each member of the group greeted him and introduced themself. "I teach grade seven at an all boy's school and this is my first cruise. There you know everything about me."

  Red rubbed her chin. Something puzzled her but she couldn't quite figure out what.

  "How long have you and Esmerelda been dating?" asked the lady seated on his left.

  "We just met," said Red.

  "I knocked her over as she was getting off the elevator." Popping his eyebrows up and down, he said, "It's one of my more effective approaches to meeting a woman."

  As Chopper chatted with the group, Red checked out his profile. His face was boyish with bright eyes and a charming smile. He seemed relaxed with his life and interested in a few days of stress-free fun. Might be interesting - a couple of tumbles in the sheets with this guy. The ladies like him.

  Red blinked as a margarita glass waved about in front of her face. "Sorry. I zoned-out there." She stood. "I am going back to my cabin—"

  Her sentence was cut-off by "But you just got here," and "No. Sit back down. The fun's about to begin."

  Red held up her hand to silence the stream of complaints. "I'm just going to get my sun glasses. I think the sunlight is getting to me." Chopper started to stand, but Red placed a restraining hand on his shoulder. "No, you stay here. I can find my way there and back. It'll take two minutes." She strolled up the deck toward the bank of elevators.

  She sensed he was there before she turned the corner. The smell of his aftershave tickled her nose. As Will's finger pressed the call button for the elevator, his head turned and he smiled. "Hello again. I see you are getting better at walking on a ship."

  Then why do my legs suddenly feel like rubber? And, would it be really obvious if I fainted into his arms? To avoid saying anything embarrassing, Red just smiled and nodded.

  The elevator doors opened. As she stepped forward to enter her flip-flop caught on the edge of the threshold. His strong hands grabbed her. One hand held her waist; the other grabbed her right breast. Her nipple responded to the contact and her pulse quickened.

  When she released her flip-flop and regained her balance, Red looked up into his dark sunglasses. "Well that was embarrassing."

  He lowered his head. "I'm sorry. I was just trying to—"

  "No, I didn't mean the fact you grabbed my boob. I kinda liked it." She felt the blush burn her cheeks. "I meant every time I'm near you, I fall down." Did I just tell him I liked him grabbing my boob? Too much sunshine and Tequila.

  At the same time, Will and Red reached to push the elevator button. Their hands brushed by. Red's hand tingled at the touch. "Fifteen for me." Reluctantly, she pulled her hand away to allow him to push the buttons.

  "My floor, also."

  Oh gawd, I am going to ride up fifteen floors smelling his aftershave. Is there enough time for me to rip his clothes off and jump him?

  "Are you enjoying your cruise, so far?" His voice was like hot fudge dripping down the side of melting ice cream. She wanted to lose herself in it.

  "I've especially enjoyed the parts where I have fallen down and been rescued by you."

  "This evening, after dinner, would you care to dance? There are so few of us under the age of retirement and it would be a pity if you spent the night on the sidelines."

  "I'd like that. I'll probably be sitting with my grandmother."

  "Yes, I have met the knitting club. Charming women."

  Yea, I can see the ladies making a move on good-looking you. Probably dropped their purses or something. Gorgeous guy ahead!! Mass purse dropping alert! They probably have an
App for that.

  The elevator stopped and the doors opened. Red stepped out, pointing to the right. "I'm this way."

  "Alas, I am to the left. Until this evening." He walked toward his suite, stepped into his room and shut the door.

  When Red entered her room she was still smiling and smelling the scent of his aftershave. She tossed her purse and key card next to her laptop. The purse spun a bit and tapped the side of the computer. The monitor lit up. Red wrinkled her brow and titled her head to the side. I left my laptop on? She looked at the open email. It was from work; a brief memo of the corporate success in the past quarter. I don't remember opening that? Haven't had that much tequila. Hmm, must have opened it by mistake.

  She clicked it shut, powered off the computer, then searched her luggage. Sunglasses in hand, she returned to the elevator. As she rode down she was positive she could still detect the lingering aroma of his aftershave.

  Weaving her way through the crowds of people all surging toward the bank of elevators, Red managed to break free of the crowd and joined Chopper, her Grandmother and the "knitting group" at the table.

  "Five minutes and twenty-three seconds." Chopper pointed to his watch.

  "What?" She picked up her margarita and took a sip.

  "You said you'd be gone for two minutes. I thought I was going to have to call the cavalry to locate you."

  The ladies giggled.

  "Will you both be joining us for supper this evening?" asked Sara.

  Red looked at Chopper.

  He shook his head. "I can't. I have homework assignments to grade and put into the computer. I know." He put his hands up in a sign of resignation. "I'm on holiday, but I didn't get them done before I left and I promised myself I'd do them the first night and be done with it. The ship has computers available; I'll find them and finish this up."

  The group protested.

  "It's ok. I'm tired. Probably a bit too much sun and tequila. I'll be asleep by ten."

  "We'll see you tomorrow?" asked the lady on his left.

  He nodded.

  The others stood, said their goodbyes and left to get ready for supper. Red touched Chopper's arm. "Are you sure about this evening?"