“Grateful for what?” I question, pushing her further. “You can trust me, Ali; I’m not from here.”
She stares at me, chewing on her nails, and then nods as if she’s just convinced herself.
“We were just sleeping one night when they stormed in with weapons,” Ali explains. “They gathered people in the square, around the Axis, and forced the rest of us to give up or they’d kill the others.”
“Why didn’t you fight back?”
“Our dome didn’t have weapons,” she explains. “We didn’t have much, really. We had colonized on the outside, years ago before I was born. But it was hard for my dome; not a lot of people survived the first winter.”
“What did they want from you?” I ask. “I don’t understand why they thought you would be a threat.”
“They said they needed workers,” Ali explains further. “In return, they’re helping us rebuild our dome. It was voluntary, the signing up part. I only had to agree to ten years here, then I can return home.”
“Ten years!” I exclaim. Ali winces and shrinks back into the couch. “I’m sorry, but that’s a long time.”
“But my family will be fed and when I go home everything will be better,” Ali says with hope in her large, round eyes.
So, this is Caroline’s ploy—prey on the weaker domes to help strengthen hers to take over the ones that are a threat. Unbelievable. Does this woman have no boundaries?
“Do you want something to eat?” I ask Ali, who’s still shaking on the couch.
“No,” she says. “I better get going. If I don’t hurry I won’t be able to sneak back in before shift change.”
“I thought you said you had a break?”
She shakes her head. “I didn’t want you to think I was bad or anything. You learn how to sneak around this place, when you need to. There are lots of ways to get in and out of the different quarters when no one’s looking.”
“You come back if you need anything,” I say, walking Ali to the door. “I’m serious. Anything at all.”
Ali nods, and then hugs me. She almost knocks me over, and before I can hug her back, she’s running down the walk, away from me. Evan is coming up and almost bumps into her.
“Who was that?” he asks.
“A friend from Laundry,” I say. “Do you know that your mother forces people to come work here?”
“Not now, Nat,” Evan says, looking down at me.
“But she’s just a kid,” I say.
“And her parents probably jumped at the chance to send her here in exchange for food,” Evan says. “I’m not saying it’s fair, but rarely do the adults volunteer in their children’s places.”
“Your people took guns!” I counter.
“Because we’ve been attacked before when we’ve gone to offer peace,” Evan says.
I continue to argue. “She said people were killed.”
“On both sides, usually,” he says. “I’m not saying it’s right, Nat.”
I cross my arms. Why is he being so difficult? “Can’t you do anything?” I ask.
Evan stares at me sternly, as if he’s about to give me a lecture. Then he sighs and runs his hand through my hair. “I can’t stop the way things are,” he says. “But I am trying to make it better. It takes time.”
“But Ali doesn’t have time,” I say. “She’s young; she should be out having fun.”
He smiles at me. “Natalia Greyes, the girl who wants to save the world. Remember when you were the girl who sat at the edge of the dome, dreaming about a better life for yourself? I bet you never pictured you would be fighting for others.”
“There’s a lot I didn’t know back then.” Back when I trusted everyone. I barely recognize that girl anymore.
“I am going to run home and shower and change really quick,” Evan says. “I will be back in a bit; I promise. As for your friend, maybe I can get her reassigned to something better.”
“Thank you,” I say, leaning toward him. My heart flutters as he kisses me goodbye, waiting to hear the words “I love you,” but Evan doesn’t say them. I watch him walk away, and disappointment flops in my gut.
I turn back to the kitchen to have something to eat and hear the door click open. For a moment I’m excited that Evan’s forgot something, but it’s not him. It’s Alec.
“Did you behave this morning?” Alec asks.
“I didn’t leave the house.”
“Good.” He smiles.
I lean back on the counter, crossing my arms. “How much longer until we get to go home?”
“I don’t know. You’ve only been here a week. Are you already sick of me?”
“You know I don’t trust this place. Plus, I can’t stay cooped up inside every day.” I pout.
“You remind me of your mother sometimes.” Alec sighs. For a moment, he looks like he’s miles away, a sad smile drooping the edges of his mouth. I’ve never seen him like this, but honestly, I haven’t been around him much since we’ve been reunited.
He shakes his head, bringing him back into the now, and his eyes meet mine. “Sorry, it’s haunting to see her in you. And,” he adds, “of course you aren’t stuck here. Just be careful.”
I shift uncomfortably from one foot to another, am I a problem? Alec is just looking out for me; he obviously cares about me, as Evan does. Maybe I should keep my head down and not make them worry so much.
“Did you ever see yourself having to watch over me?” I pick at some fuzz on my shirt, trying not to make eye contact.
“Every day since I ran away,” he says. I can feel his gaze bearing down on me. “I knew I had to save you from that place, after what they did to your parents. I just wish I could have gotten there sooner.”
“Well, you came eventually, right?”
He nods and then turns away, busying himself in the kitchen.
Twenty minutes later Evan returns. “Ready?” He beams at me.
“Be good you two,” Alec says as we leave.
“We will,” I say, leaning over and kissing him on the cheek. His body stiffens. “Promise.” I say it, and I mean it. He visibly relaxes. If it weren’t for Alec, I would still be inside Dome 1618, likely married to Jak, and at risk of being tested on. “Some say I saved the dome,” I say. “But in truth, you saved me.”
I walk away, leaving Alec with his thoughts.
Evan takes me out for lunch to a beautiful little café with sandwiches and coffee—coffee being something we didn’t grow in our dome. As I scrunch up my face with my first sip, Evan laughs and explains it is an acquired taste.
He takes the entire afternoon showing me around.
I recall seeing them from my cell in the Health Center. When we’re back on the other side, I stare at the Axis, stretching far above toward the peak of the dome.
“It seems like such a waste of space,” Evan says, standing behind me. “I’ve tried to explain to Mom that we can open up old sections of the Axis for different projects, but she’s not interested. Her primary concern is the development of the Outer Colony.”
I can feel the heat of Evan’s breath against my neck, and a shiver runs down my spine.
“Are you cold?” he asks, putting his hands on my arms.
“No,” I say, shaking my head and turning toward him. “Why isn’t your Axis fully operational?”
“Part of it is Mom feels that many departments would better serve the people outside the dome,” Evan explains. “Take engineering for example. She has them working out in the field. That’s part of what Alec, Nico, and I help out with.”
“You’re in engineering too?” I ask, hoping that it’s true, that it’s something he can do that doesn’t involve spying on others.
Evan shakes his head. “We’re just scouts. I’m trained in engineering, like my dad. Now I use that skill in my scouting job, just like Alec uses his geology expertise, and Nico her biology. We scout out new areas. Then we report back and send out engineering teams, bio
logy teams, and whatever else is required.”
“Do you want to be an engineer?” I ask Evan, smiling as I trace a finger across his chest. I look up into his eyes as he takes in a sharp breath.
“I–uh … ” He stammers for a moment taken by surprise. “No, not really. I’m into geography. I like mapping things out. I keep sketches of where I go.”
I keep tracing my fingers across his chest, pausing in the middle before I continue down the length of his torso and stop at the top of his pants. I look up and wink at him.
“Does this mean you forgive me?” Evan grabs me by the shoulders. “Because I’ve really missed you.” He leans over and kisses me softly on the lips. His kiss turns urgent, and I pull away, fully aware we are putting on a show for everyone walking past us.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, frowning.
“People are watching,” I say as my face heats up. “I don’t want to get into trouble.”
“I forget,” Evan smiles, “you’re still used to your dome’s rules.”
It’s hard to forget the rules I followed most my life. Back home there were no public displays of anything, let alone affection. To keep the peace, we were expected to live mundane lives and practice them in public.
“I’m not sure which girl to be here. So many different rules,” I say, putting my hand back on his chest.
“Just be you,” Evan says. “That’s my favorite girl.”
My cheeks flush hot again.
“Plus, I don’t think you really followed many rules.” He smirks. “I remember seeing a beautiful girl waiting for the Order to give her an elevator.”
“I never asked them to get out,” I say, punching his arm.
“Oh, that’s right, this really charming gentleman asked them to give you the elevator,” he says.
“Is that what he was?” I teasingly push against his chest. “I could have sworn he was some sort of ruffian.”
“I knew I liked you the minute I saw you.”
I stare at him quietly, unsure of what to say next. My smile stretches so far across my face I feel like I could burst.
“Hey!” Evan says. “I’ve got a great idea. I’m taking you somewhere special tonight. No rules.”
“Promise?” I ask.
He leans over and kisses me again. This time our kiss has less urgency and more yearning.
“Promise.”
Evan takes me home after our afternoon together and promises to pick me up after dinner. He has some paperwork he needs to finish up from this morning, and then he’ll be back to collect me. I hug myself inside all through dinner.
“What’s got you in such a good mood?” Alec asks suspiciously.
“Evan is taking me out for a surprise tonight.” I beam at him from across the tiny table.
He frowns and taps his finger against the table. “I don’t like the idea of you being out past dark,” Alec warns.
“I’m not a kid. Plus, I’ll be with Evan.”
His finger taps faster, and then he frowns at me. “Are you two serious?”
“I followed him here.”
“I mean, are you serious? You know, in other ways.”
“I don’t follow.” But I do. I just wish this conversation would go away. Maybe the more uncomfortable I make him, the more likely he’ll drop it.
“For the love of God, Natalia.” Alec throws his hands up in the air and leans back in his seat. “Did my mother never talk to you about things—you know, about men and women?”
Ohmygawd. I stare at my uncle, open-mouthed, with my fork in mid-air. I shudder as I realize what he is implying. “Are you kidding me?” I ask. “Are you seriously going to have a sex talk with me?”
“Don’t say that word at the table,” he reprimands.
“Well, you insinuated—”
“You know what,” he says, “never mind. I can’t believe I brought it up.”
Finally.
“Me neither,” I say, putting my fork down and getting up to clear my plate.
“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” he says. “Things are just different here. Not everyone has the same ideals as back home. Not everyone waits for marriage.”
“Enough. I’m going to wait for Evan outside,” I say. “I don’t want you opening the door with a shotgun to intimidate him.” I don’t hide the sarcasm in my voice.
“Natalia!” my uncle calls to me as I slam the door. I slump onto a bench outside.
After a few minutes, the door quietly opens behind me. Alec comes and sits next to me on the bench.
“I’m sorry,” he says.
“That’s all right.” I play with the hem of my t-shirt, not wanting to meet his eyes.
“No really,” he says. “You’re an adult now; I forget that sometimes. You were so young when I left and there’s a lot I missed out on.”
“Really,” I say, turning toward him, “it’s okay. I know you’re just looking out for me.”
“Your mother used to look out for me, you know?” Alec says, relaxing on the bench next to me. “She’d always warn me about girls. ‘Watch out for her,’ she’d say. ‘She only wants you for one thing.’” Alec laughs aloud.
“Your brain?” I ask.
“Of course.” Alec smirks. “Brains like these aren’t born every day.” He winks. “I just hope that Evan appreciates you, that’s all. I don’t want you to get hurt. I know you’re anxious to get home, but just remember that Evan has ties here. It won’t be as easy for him to leave as it will be for you.”
I quietly mull this information over in my head. I never thought about it being hard for Evan to leave. Last time he left it was to join Alec on a mission to another dome; he always knew he’d be returning if everything went well, but this time he wouldn’t know when he’d come back. Would he really make that decision in the end? Would he really leave everything for me?
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Shoot.”
“What was my mother like? I mean really like?”
“She was amazing, Nat. She was beautiful, smart, and funny. She had this fire inside her. If she was passionate about something, she made it contagious. Everyone around her was easily sucked in.”
“Did you have feelings for her?” I ask, realizing the implications of my words as they come out of my mouth.
“It was hard not to.” Alec smiles, staring off into the distance again. “But no, Nat, I didn’t. I loved her, yes, but as a younger brother loves an older sister. My feelings lay elsewhere back then.”
“Cardinal?” I ask, recalling the look on my former co-worker’s face when I told her my uncle was alive. It was something more than excitement. It was desire.
“What do you know about Gloria?” Alec asks.
I see Evan walking toward us and smile. “I know one thing, Uncle,” I say as I stand and wave to Evan. “I’m pretty sure Gloria Cardinal would throw everything away to see you again.”
I leave Alec behind with a smile on his face. Maybe this is the push my uncle needs to get back home—an old flame.
Evan takes me to a checkpoint at the western corner of the southern quarter. There he’s arranged for us to have a vehicle. His eyes show his excitement but he refuses to tell me where we are going. We don’t drive long, only fifteen minutes outside the dome, but it feels like forever as I wait to see my surprise.
He parks the truck along some trees and points his finger at me. “Wait here,” he says as he gets out. I watch as he runs around the back of the truck over to my door.
“My lady,” he says as he opens my door for me and offers his hand. I can’t help but giggle at the show.
“Are you laughing at me?” He puts a hand on his hip.
“Never,” I say, smiling ear to ear.
We walk into the trees along a path that’s been carved out in the ground. I feel nervous, but excited at the same time for the surprise. What could it be? A picnic? I’m grateful to be able to have
this time alone, away from the rules and eyes of his city.
“You seem different today,” Evan says.
“Oh?” I frown. “Different how?”
“More confident. More sure of yourself. You seem stronger,” Evan says, squeezing my hand.
“I haven’t had a choice,” I say. “It’s been sink or swim these last few months.”
“Oh?” Evan’s voice comes out pained. I glance sideways, but he’s staring at the ground. “Has it been that bad since you met me?”
I stop in my tracks. “What do you mean, bad?”
“If you hadn’t met me then you wouldn’t—”
Either Evan can read my mind, or he’s just as insecure about this as I am.
“Why would you say that?” I ask. “Do you wish you hadn’t met me?”
“I wish I could keep you safe,” Evan says seriously. “I wish I could keep you out of trouble.”
“You didn’t answer my question,” I ask, my voice catching in my throat.
Evan searches my eyes and I feel like he is looking right into me. Anguish grips at my stomach, twisting and turning it violently as I wait for his words.
“Why would you ask that? You know how I feel, I told you. You’re the one who’s had her life turned upside down. I understand if it’s all too much and if you don’t feel the same way.”
“Stop,” I say, feeling his grief. So that’s what this is about. “I thought you were trying to tell me you didn’t want me.” I pull his hand, drawing him close to me, and look up into his eyes.
“As I said earlier, I’ve wanted you since the moment I saw you,” he says through heavy breaths. “I love you.”
Maybe saying it will make it come true.
“I love you too,” I whisper back. The words feel awkward on my tongue, and make my insides swirl. I can’t take it back now that it’s out there, and I’m not sure I want to.
“You do?” he asks in disbelief. “You do!”
Evan grabs me at my waist and throws me over his shoulder. I squeal out in surprise and he spins me around and then puts me down. He grabs my face with both his hands and kisses me hungrily. His lips press hard against mine. His urgency sends electricity through my body.
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