by Jill Mansell
‘You’re not serious!’ At last she had Gabe’s full attention. ‘You mean, like swimming with the fishes? She actually threatened you with a concrete overcoat and a trip to the bottom of the Thames?’
‘Not that kind. She offered me money. I was seventeen years old.’ There was a bitter taste in Lola’s mouth now; no matter how compelling the reason, the inescapable fact remained that she had betrayed her boyfriend. ‘And she offered me ten thousand pounds if I’d stop seeing Dougie.’
‘Which you took?’
‘Which I took.’ The bitter taste was guilt; it wasn’t an action she was proud of, hence never having mentioned it to Gabe before.
He let out an incredulous bark of laughter. ‘You let her buy you off?’
Lola shivered as a blast of icy air wrapped itself around her stomach. ‘I didn’t want to, but I had to.’
‘Bloody hell! Ten grand. What did you spend it on?’
Lola hesitated, but it was no good; she couldn’t tell him. Racked with remorse, Alex had begged her never to reveal their secret to another living soul and it was a promise she had to keep. Alex might be gone now but her mother must never find out what had happened. Which meant she must never tell anyone. Choking up at the memory, she said, ‘I just needed it. You don’t understand what a—’
Crackkk.
She froze at the sound of a dry twig snapping underfoot behind her. Swinging round with her heart in her throat, Lola saw the tall figure just visible in the darkness at the entrance to the rose garden.
Not just any old tall figure either. That silhouette was instantly recognizable.
‘Ten thousand pounds,’ said a quiet voice every bit as incredulous as Gabe’s.
Oh God.
‘I don’t understand what?’ complained Gabe, for whom patience wasn’t a strong point. ‘Don’t stop there! What is there to not understand?’
‘I’ll call you back.’ Her hand suddenly trembling with more than cold, Lola ended the call and dropped the phone back into her bag.
Chapter 9
‘Ten thousand pounds,’ Doug repeated, shaking his head.
Lola swallowed. ‘Your mum was desperate to split us up.’
‘I can’t believe I’m hearing this.’ He moved towards her. ‘You wrote me a letter and left the country.’
‘Because that’s what she wanted me to do. Don’t you see? All that stuff I said in the letter wasn’t true!’ Lola knew she had to make him understand. ‘I still loved you! It broke my heart too, I was miserable for months.’
‘Oh, don’t give me that.’ Doug’s tone hardened. ‘I’ve heard some lines in my time, but—’
‘Dougie, I’m not lying! And I’m sorry, so sorry I hurt you. But it was your mother’s idea—she was the one who offered me the money. And trust me, she was desperate,’ Lola pleaded. ‘If I’d turned it down she’d only have found some other way to get rid of me.’
‘Jesus! You could have mentioned it! Did it not even occur to you to tell me what was going on? Did you not think it might have been fair to ask me how I felt about it?’
‘I was going to.’ Lola’s fists were clenched with frustration; not being able to tell him the truth meant he was always going to think she was a mercenary bitch. Helplessly she said, ‘But you were moving up to Edinburgh, you’d have started socializing with all those girls up there…’
‘What?’
‘We were so young! What were the chances, realistically, of us staying together? I knew I loved you,’ Lola rattled on in desperation, ‘but what if I’d said no to the money then a few weeks later you’d met someone you liked more than me? How stupid would I have felt if you’d sent me a Dear John letter then?’
In the darkness Doug raised his hands. ‘Fine. You did absolutely the right thing. Let’s just forget it, shall we?’
Did he mean that? ‘Let’s.’ Lola nodded eagerly, wondering if now might be a good moment for a lovely-to-see-you-again kiss. ‘From now on all that stuff’s behind us, right? We can start afresh.’
‘Start afresh?’ There was a smidgen of sarcasm in his voice. ‘No need to go that far, surely. You’ll be leaving soon enough.’
‘I don’t have to.’ Hurrying after him as he abruptly turned and headed down the path leading back to the house, Lola said, ‘I’ve only just got here! Dougie, it’s fantastic to see you again, we’ve got so much catching up to do.’
‘Trust me, we haven’t.’
‘But I want to know what you’ve been doing!’ Desperation made her reckless. ‘And you came outside, so that means you wanted to talk to me too.’
Dougie reached the front door and paused to look at her. ‘I came outside for a cigarette.’
‘You smoke now?’
‘Not a lot.’
‘You should give it up,’ said Lola.
A muscle twitched irritably in his jaw. ‘I did give it up. Six weeks ago.’
So her sudden reappearance had jolted him. Lola sniffed the air but could only detect cold earth and aftershave. ‘I can’t smell smoke.’
Dougie pulled a single cigarette and Bic lighter from his shirt pocket. ‘I was about to light it when I heard you talking on the phone.’
‘So you didn’t smoke it, you listened to me instead. See? I’m coming in useful already.’ Reaching out and snatching the cigarette from his hand, Lola snapped it in two and tossed it over her shoulder into a lavender bush.
Dougie heaved a sigh and pushed open the front door. ‘If you hadn’t been here I wouldn’t have been tempted in the first place. If you want to do something really useful you’ll leave.’
‘There you are.’ Adele, flinty eyed, was standing in the hall with Sally beside her. ‘We were wondering what had happened to you.’
‘We’ve been catching up.’ Dougie’s tone was brusque. ‘I’ve just been hearing about the ten thousand pounds you paid Lola to stop seeing me.’
Adele shot Lola a look capable of shriveling grapes. ‘So she told you, did she? Ten thousand pounds, is that what she said?’
Lola’s heart sank like a dropped anchor.
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ Doug demanded.
‘I offered ten thousand. But that wasn’t enough for her. She demanded fifteen.’ Adele shrugged elegantly. ‘And then, when I refused, she started haggling.’
Oh God.
‘So did you,’ Lola whispered.
Doug shook his head. ‘I don’t believe this. How much did you end up with?’
‘Twelve.’
‘Twelve and a half,’ said Adele the hateful witch.
‘OK, but I needed that—’
‘Stop.’ Dougie held up his hands. ‘I’ve heard enough. Now I definitely need a drink.’ He turned and strode back into the drawing room.
Lola watched him go. It probably wasn’t the moment to be thinking this, but he was even more irresistible when he was angry.
‘Now see what you’ve done,’ said Adele. ‘Why don’t you leave before you ruin the entire evening?’
It might have been a tempting proposition earlier but that was before Dougie had turned up. Since leaving was no longer an option—because what if she never saw him again?—Lola said, ‘Look, I’m not as bad as you’re making out. I only took that money because there was an emergency and I desperately needed it. I’m actually a really nice person. Can’t we just forget about all that old stuff?’
I patted your thigh, for God’s sake.
Adele exhaled audibly. ‘None of us was expecting this to happen this evening. I’m grateful for what you did the other night, obviously. But I can’t pretend I’m happy to see you again. Giving you the money was what I needed to do at the time, but I never wanted Doug to find out.’
‘Trust me, neither did I. He overheard me on the phone and I really wish he hadn’t. That’s why I need to
talk to him properly, to explain. Don’t worry, I won’t slag you off.’ As Lola said this she saw Adele wince at the turn of phrase, proving as it did how common she was and how wildly unsuitable for someone as well brought up as Doug.
‘Well, let’s just get through the rest of the evening without any more unpleasantness.’ Adele shook her coiffured hair slightly as if dismissing the thought of it from her mind. Cracking a thin pseudo-smile she said, ‘Shall we go through and join the others?’
‘I’ll follow in a minute, when I’ve just, um…’ Lola pointed to the downstairs loo, dithered over what the polite word for it was, then wondered why she was bothering. ‘After I’ve had a quick wee.’
The cloakroom was small but stylish, all ivory marble and tasteful lighting. A bit too tasteful actually; Lola, touching up her make-up, had to lean right across the sink to get close enough to the mirror to check she didn’t have speckles of mascara on her cheeks.
Lost in thought about Doug and how she might win him over against his better judgment, Lola jumped out of her skin when her phone suddenly rang. Losing her precarious balance and about to topple nose first into the mirror, she put out a hand to stop herself and sent her make-up bag flying off the side of the sink.
‘Noooo!’ Lola let out a shriek of horror as the bag landed with a splosh in the toilet bowl. Not her make-up… oh God…
It was too late, the contents of her cosmetics bag were already drowned. All her favorite things—lovely eyeshadows, bronzing powder, eye pencils, her three very best lipsticks—were sitting there submerged in the bottom of the loo. And to add insult to injury her bloody phone was still ringing.
‘Gabe, I know you’re trying to help, but NOT NOW!’ Switching the phone off again, Lola surveyed the scene of devastation and let out a groan of despair. ‘Oh hell…’
Then she jumped again, because someone was tapping cautiously on the cloakroom door.
‘Hello? Everything OK in there?’ It was a worried female, possibly Sally.
‘It’s all right. I’m fine.’ At the sight of her all-time favorite Urban Decay super-sparkly mocha eyeshadow, Lola could have cried.
‘Lola? Is that you? What’s happened?’
Seeing as it was Sally, Lola unlocked the door.
She didn’t have to say a word.
‘Oh no, poor you! Crikey, no wonder you let out a screech. I had my handbag stolen once.’ Sally squeezed her arm in sympathy. ‘I mean, having to replace my credit cards and stuff was a pain in the neck. But losing my make-up was just traumatic. When I found out my favorite mascara had been discontinued I practically had a nervous breakdown right there in Harvey Nicks.’
Despite everything, Lola grinned. ‘You’re making me feel so much better.’
‘Oh, sorry!’
‘And we can’t leave it in there.’ Bracing herself, Lola bent down and gingerly picked the unzipped make-up bag out of the toilet bowl then dropped it—splat—into the waste bin beneath the sink. ‘Typical that it had to happen before I had a chance to do my mouth.’
‘Well, I can help you there. You want to borrow lipstick? Just come upstairs with me.’
Everything in Sally’s bedroom was yellow and white and super-tidy. Sitting on the king-sized bed and gazing around, Lola said, ‘This is a great room.’
‘It’d be more great if it wasn’t in my mother’s house.’ Sally grimaced. ‘Not that I don’t love her, but it’s hardly ideal, is it? I’m thirty-six. I was living with my boyfriend in Wimbledon until a fortnight ago but we broke up so I moved in here temporarily.’
‘What happened with you and the boyfriend?’
‘Oh God, nightmare. I’m a walking disaster when it comes to men.’ Sally shook her head. ‘I paid for him to have his teeth bleached as a birthday present because that’s what he wanted. Next thing I know, he’s telling me he’s seeing the dental nurse. So that’s it, I’m single again, back with my mother, and giving up on men. I’m going to buy myself a dear little cottage somewhere in the country and breed llamas instead. Knit my own socks and grow my own jam. Wouldn’t that be idyllic?’ She paused, holding up a fuchsia-pink Chanel lipstick and scrutinizing Lola’s mouth. ‘What kind of color are you after?’
‘Something rusty-bronzy rather than pink, if you’ve got it. Can you knit?’
‘Well, no, but I could always pay some sweet little old lady to do that for me. Rusty-bronzy, rusty-bronzy…’ Sally was busily rummaging through the boxes on her dressing table.
‘If you’d rather live in Notting Hill, my neighbor’s off to Australia next week. He’s letting his flat out for a year.’ Lola couldn’t help herself; it was worth a shot and at least Sally didn’t work in a slaughterhouse.
‘Is he? I haven’t been to Notting Hill for years. Oooh, I know the one you need…’ Sally flitted out of the bedroom, returning moments later with a lipstick in a bullet-shaped gold case. ‘Here you go, it was on the bathroom shelf all the time. Is this more you?’
Lola took it with relief. Versace, no less, and a gorgeous, distinctive shade of russet-red with a brownish-gold lustre. ‘This is exactly me.’ Peering into the dressing-table mirror, she applied it with a flourish and smacked her lips together. ‘Perfect. Now I can face the world again. Does Dougie have a girlfriend?’
‘D’you know, I’m not sure. He was seeing someone a while back, but I don’t know if it’s still going on. You know what men are like, they don’t talk about that kind of stuff like we do.’ Sally fluffed translucent powder onto her nose and said, ‘Why? Do you still fancy him?’
Only an older sister could say it quite like that, as if it was on a par with fancying Quasimodo.
Lola said regretfully, ‘He’s gorgeous. We were so happy together once and I messed that up. It was all my own fault, I know that, I made a mistake but at the time I didn’t… I just couldn’t…’
‘Oh please, I didn’t mean to make you feel worse. You were only seventeen,’ Sally exclaimed. ‘We all make mistakes at that age. And, OK, Dougie was miserable but he recovered. It’s not like he joined a monastery!’
Grateful for Sally’s understanding, Lola managed a wobbly smile. ‘I’m glad he didn’t. Sorry, seeing him again like this has been a bit overwhelming. But who knows, maybe I can persuade him I’m irresistible and he’ll forgive me…’
The bedroom door, which hadn’t been shut, swung further open. ‘Look,’ Doug said curtly, ‘I really wish I didn’t have to keep overhearing this stuff, but Philip wants to make a speech and he asked me to round everyone up.’
‘OK, we’re done here.’ Sally gaily flipped back her hair and headed for the door.
‘And can I just say,’ Doug fixed Lola with a steely knee-trembler of a gaze as she passed him in the doorway, ‘don’t waste your energy with the being irresistible bit, because I’m not interested.’
Hang on, what were the qualities he’d always admired in her when they’d been a couple? Her eternal optimism and refusal to take no for an answer?
‘You might change your mind,’ Lola said bravely. ‘I’m very lovable.’
‘Not to me.’
‘I could be. If you’d just give me a chance.’
‘Lola, don’t even bother to try. Nothing is going to happen between you and me. After this evening we won’t see each other again and that’s fine by me. So let’s just go downstairs, shall we, and get this farce over with. The sooner it’s done, the sooner you can go home.’
***
Everyone gathered in the drawing room for Philip’s speech. It was sweet, if hard to believe, hearing this nice man speak so movingly about the happiness Adele had brought into his life. Everyone raised their glasses to Adele, then Philip went on to talk about Lola and her actions on the night of the mugging. He concluded by announcing that they were all indebted to her, and that from now on she was part of the family. Cue applause, a toast
and—hilariously—another brittle hug from Adele. It was like being embraced by a Ryvita.
Then the embarrassing bit was over and everyone went back to drinking and chatting amongst themselves. Everyone except Adele, who looked at Lola’s mouth and said, ‘What an extraordinary coincidence, you appear to use the same lipstick as me.’
Oh bugger, bugger. And she knew.
‘Sorry.’ Lola couldn’t believe she hadn’t recognized it earlier. ‘I… um, lost mine and Sally offered to lend me one. I didn’t realize it was yours.’
‘You may as well take it with you when you leave.’ Adele shuddered as if Lola had just spat on the hors d’oeuvres. ‘It’s not as if I’d use it again now.’
‘Everything OK?’ Doug joined them.
‘Lola used my lipstick.’ With an incredulous half-laugh Adele said, ‘I must be old-fashioned. It just seems an incredibly brazen thing to do. So… personal.’
Lola opened her mouth to protest but now Dougie was surveying her with equal distaste, as if she were Typhoid Mary going around spreading her vile germs on other people’s lipsticks. There came a time when you simply had to accept that winning someone over wasn’t an option.
When Lola’s phone trilled for the third time that evening, Adele’s mouth narrowed with fresh annoyance.
‘Will you stop hanging up on me?’ Gabe demanded. ‘I do have better things to do with my time than keep trying to get through to you. It’s not that complicated,’ he rattled on. ‘I just need to know if everything’s going OK. A simple yes or no will—’
‘Are you serious? The contractions are how far apart? Just wait there and stay calm,’ said Lola. ‘Boil the kettle and take deep breaths. I’m on my way.’
Chapter 10
‘I dreamt about him last night,’ said Lola.
Cheryl was restocking the bestseller shelves at the front of the shop. Pausing to gaze at the book in her hand, she frowned and said, ‘Dreamt about whom? Harry Potter?’
‘As if. I’m talking about Dougie, you dingbat.’
‘Oh. You mean you’re still talking about Dougie. Do the words “not a hope in hell” mean anything to you?’