by Matilda Hart
“Good. Then what I am going to do for you is go along with the story that you did not commit adultery before divorcing your husband as long as you agree to never hurt my brother. If you break his heart, I will make sure that you regret it every day of your life.” I admired her vigor and replied with a smile,
“He is very lucky to have a sister like you but I can assure you, I have nothing but the purest of intentions where Jefferson is concerned.” She smiled and walked toward the door.
“Good, that is just lovely.” She turned and over her shoulder, said “Just be sure to name your firstborn after me. Ta!” She disappeared out the door and it closed in a hurry and I could only think to myself that I was glad for once that I was unable to bear children. I could hear her voice in the hall and I shook my head as the door opened to reveal Jefferson standing in the doorway, sheepishly poking his head through the opening.
“Are you dressed?” He smiled as he walked in, finding me completely decent then giving me an exaggerated, “Damn it.” With a smile, he crossed the floor and I met him halfway in a warm embrace and longing kiss. “I missed you during the night.” He kissed me and said, “Not too much longer and that hell will no longer be my reality for I will be able to hold you in my arms while I drift to slumber.”
“I missed you, as well but I won’t deny that I had some of the most amazing sleep last night. This bed is absolutely the most comfortable thing on which I’ve slept.” His eyebrows raised and he said,
“You have yet to sleep in my bed, but soon.” I shook my head and said,
“What am I going to do with you?” He laughed and replied,
“Keep me and love me forever, I hope.” I wrapped my arms around his neck and raised up on my tip toes so that I could kiss his lips as he placed his hands on the small of my back, pulling me to him as our tongues intermingled within each other’s mouths. A knock on the door pulled us away from one another and as he wiped his mouth, he called for the person on the other side to enter. Janine returned to finish the measurements and Jefferson gave me a secret look of wanting before he nodded to me and left us to conclude the business at hand so that I could look my very best tonight. Before he walked out of the door, he turned and said,
“By the way, the king will be joining us tonight.” He winked at me before pulling the door closed and I was left with nothing but the seamstress and a belly full of nerves to keep me company. Seeing my distress, Janine said,
“Oh, now. Fret not, child. The king is nothing but an overgrown child himself, much like our fair duke, here. Impressing him won’t be nearly as hard as you think and since you are quite talented, I’m sure you could win his heart with your talents if he were not already married.” I felt as if she were implying that I somehow weaseled my way into the duke’s life by somehow manipulating him with my siren song and that couldn’t be further from the truth and I’d have told her so if I was sure that’s what she was getting at but I just kept my mouth closed and smiled.
If I could catch my husband in the act of infidelity then I could be with the man who truly loved me and I loved in return but our timing and circumstance had to be just right or else the whole thing would fall apart. Had we been public about our affair and proof of his mistress could not be attained then I would be labeled a harlot and that’s not what I wanted for myself but if I could get out of my marriage due to his unfaithfulness, then I could be with Jefferson with no guilt hanging over our heads. I prayed that she would be in my bed, actually and the more I thought about it, the more I knew that he would have the audacity to bring her into our home in my absence because that’s just the kind of fool-hearty man he could be. Thomas would see that finally being caught is just what he needs to be the man he wants to be and that’s a father with a wife at home who can provide him with many sons, leaving me free to sing to my heart’s content and finally find happiness of my own in the arms of a man that I love.
Janine left me once she’d gathered all the measurements that she needed and informed me that if I needed anything that I could find her in her work area then gave me directions on how to find it, not that I would remember in this large maze of a house. I smiled as she left then plopped back onto my bed, closed my eyes and thought of tonight’s performance and most of all, how I would manage to keep my composure in the company of the king. Sure, he was just any other man but this particular man had the entire country in the palm of his hand and any person that lived within it was under his rule so that meant that if he so chose, he could have me placed into the darkest dungeon for the rest of my life if he were displeased, though he struck me as a fair and decent ruler.
I stood up from my very relaxed position on the bed and walked to the vanity mirror just in time to hear the knock on my door alerting me that my lunch had been prepared. It was decided that since I would be busy for most of the day that everything would be done in and brought to my room and I would be the one standing still having all of my necessaries performed in my chamber instead of me having to wander the property in search of them. The servant sat the tray beside the chair where I’d asked for it and left me to myself so that I could enjoy my pasta and vegetables. The glass of white wine that had been added was quite the touch and just as I finished, I was once again joined by the handsome Jefferson.
“If you didn’t have all that time and effort into your looks, I’d take you right now and throw caution to the wind.” He ran his hands up my sides from my hips to my breasts and looked at me as if he wanted to devour me live.
“I don’t see why that has to be an issue.” I turned my back to him and wiggled my rear end, which he slapped playfully before holding me against his body from behind and allowing me to feel his sense of urgency.
“My, what have we here?” I asked and he simply replied,
“Dessert.”
Chapter Eleven
The night of the ball finally came and as I stood atop the grandstand, I looked down to the crowd and saw that they each had an expectant look on their face, as if they’d been waiting for me and the warm round of applause that followed my name was absolutely breathtaking. Never had I felt so adored and appreciated and as I began to sing, I could tell that it was being well received by the pleased look in so many eyes. Keeping mind that I was to show no romantic feelings towards Jefferson, I tried not to look his way as often as I’d liked and that was made difficult by the meddling king and his constant array of women that he kept bringing to his side. Noticing that my loving duke would graciously dismiss each lady with a kind gesture, I caught our beloved king asking Jefferson what was wrong with that one by a shrug of his shoulders and a gesture of his hand as she walked away. Pride filled my heart as I realized that he was keeping himself for me that night and not accepting any of the king’s introductions. They acted as schoolboys, playful and free with the fairer sex as if they were pawns in a game and I wondered how easily I would be discarded once Jefferson had finished with me and that’s when it happened. What was meant to be a rising crescendo came out of my mouth as a donkey’s bray and I felt myself become red all over because I knew that it would not go unnoticed by those actually paying attention to the music. The dancers swept through the ballroom as the duke sat to the right of our king with our queen to his left, all keeping an eye on the public with a wave and nod from time to time.
How terribly boring it must be to have to remain so proper at all times and not even be able to get up and dance because of the worry of remaining proper. Had the king and queen risen to their feet, the ballroom would have parted like the red sea so that they could take as much room as they so desired without the risk of being bumped into by the commoners. King George was quite arrogant and despised the touching of others, even seemed afraid to touch his queen’s hand on occasion, which I always found foolish so the public knew to give him space when he was about.
Continuing past my sour note and feeling like a cod for letting my emotions interfere with my performance, I carried on as if nothing had happened and lifted
my head with pride as I concluded my aria. Upon my final note, the king rose to his feet, giving signal for everyone else to rise and applaud for me and I graciously bowed and nodded with a smile. Jefferson looked at me, winked with a dazzling smile and shouted,
“Encore!” The request was repeated and became a small chant, so I waved my hands to gesture that I would appease the crowd with another song and nodded to the pianist, who began to play another piece that we’d prepared for such an occasion.
After finally being free of my singing requirement, I was free to be a guest of the ball and joined in for a Quadrille, finding that the duke would be looking at me each time I checked to look up at him and each time, he would wink or smile to me and as the dance called for a promenade towards his chair, he nodded to his chambers and bit his lip with a slow nod, causing my heart to race and my feet to lose their dance step. I grinned like a foolish girl, imagining the things that the duke and I would be doing later and I somehow found my place and fell back in line, turned and raised my hand to the side as I curtsied to my partner.
The dance ended and the strings began a waltz, so I exited the dance area and made my way to the side so that I could watch and I felt a hand on my back, pushing me to the dance floor and when I turned my head, I saw that it was Jefferson so I walked into the crowd and turned to face him as I put my hand in his while his hand found itself nestled comfortably on the small of my back. He led me around the dancefloor with such elegance and grace that I felt as if I were floating instead of dancing and no matter how I tried to hide it, I am more than positive that anyone looking could see love in my eyes.
“I have been thinking about you since I saw you last and I cannot wait to get you to my chambers and throw that dress on the floor.” He smiled and held his head up high, turning it to the side and holding it so that he peered over his shoulder and appeared as if he’d just said nothing. I, on the other hand, was attempting to remain my composure and remember the basic steps because the words that he had just put into my ear had my whole body wanting to head up the stairs, down the hallway and into his bed. Through gritted teeth, I tried to maintain my smile as I replied,
“Yes, but for how long, Your Grace? I wonder if I, too, shall be so easily discarded as so many before me.” The smile fell from his face but he forced one to take its place as his hand tightly gripped mine.
“If I have to shout it from the rooftops now to prove my love to you, I will do just so but remember what is at stake if we are found out too soon, my love.” He spun me in a tight circle then began the distinct dip and sway of the waltz once more.
“I just fear, Your Grace; fear that you will grow tired of me and I will be tossed aside for another.” He stopped dead in his tracks and looked into my eyes.
“I could never tire of you and these thoughts need to leave your head. I have spoken my heart so please do me the courtesy of believing me.” He once again took the lead of the dance and smiled to those nearby as we danced past and though I was a bit embarrassed that he had gotten cross with me, I was so happy to have heard the words that he’d spoken for I did believe him in my heart of hearts. If he was at least half as haunted by me as I was of him, there was no way that I could not take him at his word for he was with me every waking hour and even those where I slept. The image of his eyes burned itself into my mind the first time I looked into them and my body yearned for his touch more than it craved the very air that filled my lungs. Through his forced smile, he leaned into my ear and said,
“I shall marry you one day, woman. You cannot get scared and run away now.” He gripped my hand and I looked up to him with tears in my eyes and he just gave me a quick wink and whisked me across the dance floor.
I spent the remainder of the ball not too far from his side and the king once more presented him with a young woman to meet and he greeted her politely but when she tried to make conversation with him, he simply excused himself and walked towards the food table. I could hear the king calling to him,
“How will you ever find the one if you don’t at least try one, cousin?” He simply waved the king’s words away as he walked and when the coast was clear, he nodded to me to join him near a large tapestry that hung behind the buffet table. Taking me by the elbow as he pulled me behind the large curtain that covered the back wall, he then wrapped his arms around me and covered my lips with his, moaning lightly as he kissed me with such tenderness that I was beginning to feel as if I must have him sooner than later.
“Oh, I have been wanting to do that all night and I cannot take one more of my cousin’s match-making fantasies. He means well, but…” he took my face in his hands and kissed me once more, sighing as he pulled back from me. “Your kiss. I can’t get enough of your kiss and I cannot wait to get you alone so that I may kiss you properly.” He groaned lightly as his hands reached behind me and grabbed a double handful of my rear. “But we still have a few more hours to wait, my love.” He took my hand, kissed it and disappeared from behind the large drapery, feeling the need for his touch now more than ever and feeling the deep desire for him between my warm thighs.
I stepped out from behind the curtain after making sure there were no nearby witnesses and meandered to the inviting platter of grapes, snagged a handful and walked about as if I were simply enjoying the party and not waiting anxiously for its conclusion. Elizabeth walked up to me and I nodded slightly with a dip and she approached, saying,
“I have sent a rider to watch your home and the report is that your husband arrived this very evening with his young lover in tow, undeniably enamored with each other so if you and my brother are going through with this, I shall send him to return and assure that she is still there tomorrow.” I felt a pang of jealousy, knowing that I was so easily discarded and replaced but I had done the same thing to him. The fact that I had done it in return hardly mattered but if I wanted free of him so that Jefferson and I could be together, it had to be handled just so. I gave her a slow nod and she gave me one in return as she turned on her heels and retreated from my sight and into the crowd.
I had another glass of wine and the second one managed to go straight to my head, so I decided to go and lie down, making eye contact with Jefferson on my way out the grand double doors to let him know that I planned to retire and he acknowledged me with a slight nod and closure of his eyes. Walking up the stairs, I felt as if I were on top of the world but that feeling didn’t last for long because as soon as I flung myself atop the spread of my bed, I fell instantly asleep.
Chapter Twelve
I woke up alone, covered with my head on the pillow and a note on the nightstand. I clumsily opened it to find that it was from Jefferson and it read:
My Dearest Constance,
I did not have the heart to wake you, for you reminded me of an angel and one must not disturb perfection. You can find me in the library once your day begins and I hope you dreamt of me as I did you.
All my love,
J
I smiled and held the note to my chest and quickly threw the covers back as I hopped out of bed and headed for the wardrobe that held my clothing. There was a woman who was to help me dress properly but for the time being, I would forego the constraint of the corset and allow my shift and dress to be enough for the day. Tossing on a pair of boots over my nylon hose, I hurriedly laced them then dropped the tail of my dress, brushed the front and glanced at my reflection. Grabbing the brush, I ran it through my hair and affixed it in places with pins so that the sides were held in place but the length was allowed to fall down my back in dark waves. I applied a minimal amount of color to my lips and cheeks then deemed myself worthy of being seen. Finding something to eat was my main concern and almost as if sent from the heavens, my door opened and one of the house servants pushed in a tray with hot cereal, coffee and an orange. I thanked her graciously and ate my breakfast before leaving to find my love. As per his note, he was in the library with his feet propped up on his desk and his face buried in a book. I crept up as quietly as
I could and just before I sprang my big surprise, he lowered his heavy reading material and said,
“I was beginning to wonder about you.” He smiled and I hopped on his lap as we met in a long overdue kiss and he wrapped me in his arms, protectively shrouding me from any and all harm. I felt safe in his arms, as if no matter what happened, I would have him with me and that would, in itself, be enough to ward off harm. I smiled as I nuzzled my head into his chest and looked at the book on the desk.
“The Works of Plato? Are you a philosopher, as well?” I smiled as he rose to a standing position with me in his arms, cradled safely with no fear of ever falling.
“I am more than just a pretty face, my lady.” He kissed me and I placed my hands on his soft cheeks as our lips touched.
“Aye, you are also quite a lover.” He grinned, for he knew too well that I was right and he knew the power of his touch.
“I have lived my life to find and love you and now that I have, I don’t plan on ever letting you out of my sight.” Just then, he placed me on his desk, stood between my thighs and proved the very point that I was just trying to make.
Just as we planned, we set out for my house with the cover of night at our backs and headed to my house at an hour I was sure Thomas would be comfortably unaware. After meeting with the rider, who confirmed that my husband was in the company of a very pregnant young woman and the only candle light that shines comes from my bedroom window, we decided that it was time to carry on with our plan or otherwise, we may never have the chance to be together. I was sure that the noise of the horses and tack would rouse him from his slumber so the duke remained unseen as I dismounted the carriage and walked toward the house to be met with Thomas and a lantern.
“I’ve forgotten my blue dress and I need it for tomorrow!” I exclaimed as I rushed past him and directly up the stairs as he called my name and ran after me. As I approached my bedroom door, I heard him scream,