by Jamie Zakian
Giant knuckles barreled Sasha’s way and she ducked, hurling her fist into a solid stomach. The bitch didn’t move except her head, which cocked to one side. Sasha scurried back, her head clunking against bars. A churning firestorm whirled inside her chest, sucking the air from her lungs.
The huge woman closed in and Sasha swung, but it did nothing to stop fingers from clamping onto her neck. Martha gripped so hard her nails broke into Sasha’s skin. Sasha kicked, landing a few good hits before a fist rocked her gut.
Martha slammed Sasha against the bars, cracking the side of her face. The world flashed to black, and blood filled Sasha’s throat. She gasped for breath while thrown facedown onto the bottom cot.
A crushing weight pressed down atop Sasha, pushing her face into the thin mattress. Heavy breaths flowed over the back of her neck, choking her in their stink. She jerked her hips, tossed elbows as Martha’s hands slid under her shirt.
“How about now, sweet ass?” Martha hissed.
Sasha was flipped to her back, a thick arm dropping across her throat. Tears blurred her eyes, the strangling grip blocking out the flow of air. Her pants were bunched down at her ankles, and fingers rammed inside her.
“Am I taking something from you now, bitch?”
The arm on Sasha’s throat pressed harder, the other hand pounding faster. The burn, the rip of her skin, was nothing compared to the agony of her soul. A red haze crept over the world. She’d claw at the arm crushing the life from her neck, but she wanted to die. She prayed for death. The last thing she had left was being torn from her body, and she couldn’t stop it. No more pride, no more worth. She was an empty shell, hollowed out by the ugliness of humanity.
A numb prickle swept over Sasha. Darkness crept up to claim her senses, and she dove into it.
***
“Get up!”
Sasha groaned. Hints of light trickled in and she tried to pry her eyelids open, but the throb in her head kept them sealed shut. A palm slapped her cheek. The throb jacked up to a thud, and her eyes snapped open.
A guard smiled down at Sasha. His crooked teeth gleamed in the harsh light, begging to be knocked out. He lifted his arm, dropping bright orange clothes on Sasha’s chest. “Get dressed. You have a visitor.”
Sasha sat up, looking down at a hospital gown. Rows of cots filled with battered bodies lined the wall, leading to a big infirmary sign.
“The feds?” Sasha asked, pushing her shaky body to its feet. A million red-hot pinpricks erupted between her legs, and she choked down a scream.
“Your husband.”
“Husband?” Sasha muttered. She turned her back to the guard, since he wasn’t going to look away. Sunlight beamed through the window, glinting off the bars.
“It’s morning?” she said, mostly to herself. Beyond the thick iron bars, she glimpsed her reflection in the cloudy glass. A kaleidoscope of colors painted one side of her face, scrapes and bruises littering the other.
Sasha squirmed out of her gown, every move spreading liquid fire. Streaks of blood crusted along her inner thighs, staining her skin. She looked for something to wash them off with, maybe bleach, but found nothing. The guard behind her snickered, and she hurried to dress. She should be enraged, but all she felt was fear. Terror that the man behind her would start in on her next, shame that she probably wouldn’t be able to stop him. Before the coma, when she was strong, she could fight off an entire bar of bikers. But now, with only half her muscles and no brass to cover her fist, she really was just a little girl.
Her eyes stayed low as she turned back toward the guard. If something horrible was headed her way, she didn’t want to see it.
“You got lucky,” the guard said, pushing her toward the door. “I was just about to dump you back in Martha’s cell, but rules say your husband has the right to a visit.”
A cringe ran through Sasha’s body at the thought of landing back in a cell with that bulldyke of a woman. Whoever this man pretending to be her husband was, she owed him big time.
***
Dez
Dez took deep breaths, but his foot wouldn’t stop tapping the floor. He swore he’d never get this close to a jail cell again, but fucking Sasha. There weren’t even bars on the windows in the family visiting area yet the walls were spinning, closing in on him. He should bolt, send Vinny inside this hellhole. If only. His dumb ass couldn’t go anywhere, not without seeing Sasha and making sure she was all right.
A buzz rang out, flaring his nerves. He hated that fucking sound. The solid steel door at the end of the room opened, and Sasha limped through it. Dez shot to his feet, gawking as she hobbled over. Them motherfucking feds must have worked her over all night. When she sat down and a cry escaped her lips, he knew this wasn’t the feds’ doing. It was worse, so much worse.
Sasha’s eyes stuck to the floor, a messy tangle of blonde streaked hair failing to hide her trembling lips. Dez grabbed her hand, and she flinched.
“Are you okay?”
“No touching,” a guard yelled from across the room.
Sasha pulled her hand back, glancing at Dez for a second. “Husband?”
“It’s a long story. Otis called New York. A lawyer should be here soon, hopefully work some mobster magic.”
“Really!” Sasha said, her voice cracking.
It took every bit of willpower for Dez to keep his ass in his chair, to keep from wrapping his arms around Sasha’s quaking shoulders.
“Listen,” he leaned on the table, bobbing to catch her gaze, “the next time that bitch gets on top of you, go along with it. When her guard’s down, bash her head against the top bunk and knee the bitch in her snatch. The top cover of the toilet makes for a great weapon. It comes right off and its heavy as shit.”
A hint of a smile lifted Sasha’s swollen cheeks. “I love you.” She latched onto Dez’s hand, pulling it to her chest. “I wish I never left you. I’m so sorry.”
“That’s just prison sadness talkin’.” Dez caressed the back of her hand with his thumb, sliding his fingers between hers. “You’ll be singing a different tune once you get out.”
Sasha shook her head, and a guard seized her by the arm. Dez almost jumped up and decked the fucker, but the guy yanked Sasha away too fast.
“Come on,” the guard said, pulling Sasha toward the door. “The feds wanna see ya.”
“I meant it, Dez,” she said before a metal door slammed shut, stealing her away.
The low buzzers, the clink of metal, sent Dez’s head into a whirl. He had to get out, drive his fist through someone’s face, hug his fucking kid. The image of Tyler’s smile cleared a thick cloud of rage from his mind. Dez climbed his sorry ass out of the hard metal seat, hurrying from the room.
***
Vinny
Vinny sat up straight, rocking the pickup when Dez walked from the county jail. He had a few seconds to clear the worry from his face and go back to pretending not to care about Sasha before Dez reached the truck.
Dez climbed into the driver’s seat, slammed the door shut, and started pounding the shit out of his steering wheel.
“Dude!” Vinny shouted. He reached out, then his brain clicked on. No way was he touching that man’s bulging arm, especially when it was in full-on rage mode.
In a rush, Dez turned to face Vinny. Instinct forced Vinny’s body to recoil, even though he was so ready to throw down. Then Dez collapsed against Vinny’s chest, sobbing. Vinny’s spine locked stiff. He didn’t know what the fuck to do. Dez had never cried before, ever, let alone seek out an embrace for comfort.
“What the fuck happened in there?” Vinny asked, patting Dez on the back.
A sharp ache sliced into Vinny’s chest, cutting deeper as tears soaked through his shirt. He wrapped his arms around Dez. Instant comfort stemmed from the embrace, sending waves of security that shocked Vinny’s core. He didn’t expect this. He had never touched Dez without fury motivating the action. If he had known hugging his brother would feel so good, it probably wouldn’t hav
e changed shit, but he would’ve done it more.
“Whatever it is, Dez, I’m here.”
Dez pulled away from Vinny, wiping his eyes. “That didn’t happen.” Dez hurled a sharp glare, starting the truck.
***
Sasha
Sasha yelped as the guard pushed her into a hard metal chair. Her glare veered to the man, who looked so proud in his stupid uniform. One day, she’d slice the smile from his nasty face.
“Looks like someone had fun last night,” the same fat fed from the night before said with a wink.
“Or someone had fun with you,” his lady fed sidekick added.
Sasha glared at the two fuckers responsible for her torment. Just two more people for her shit list.
“I never caught your names,” she said, staring across the table.
“You ready to talk?” The man leaned back, crossing his arms atop his big belly.
So much fat, Sasha would have to cut through so much fat to nick an organ.
“We can get you transferred to a private cell,” the woman said, sliding back into her good cop role.
These pigs had nothing on her, and even if they did she’d never talk. Just to spite them, just to keep them guessing forever, she’d never talk.
The door opened and a fancy suit walked in, setting Sasha’s heart to flutter. She knew a city lawyer when she saw one, cleaned plenty of messes for them.
“What’s going on here?”
Both feds stood, puffing out their chests. “Who the fuck are you?” the man asked.
“Lucio Spengotti. Ms. Lazzari’s attorney.”
That took fed man back to his seat and made the bitch fed squirm.
“What’s the charges, Agent Daniels?” Spengotti asked, eyeing the bruises that colored Sasha’s body. “Can I see her rap sheet? I’m having a hard time tracking it down.”
“There aren’t any charges yet,” the fed uttered into his lap. “She’s being detained for questioning.”
Spengotti dropped his briefcase onto the table, propping his hands on his hips. “Then why is she in county lockup?”
“The holding cells at the station were full.” The bitch fed was a pro at the hard stare. It must be a requirement for a woman in their clique, especially a black one.
“I was just at the station. There’s only one person in the drunk tank.” Spengotti had better dagger eyes than the feds. It warmed Sasha’s heart. He turned to her, running his finger along her cheek. “Did they do this to you?”
Sasha shook her head. While the rips and scars were indirectly the fed bastards doing, lawyers liked proof, and she had none.
Spengotti glanced at his watch then back at the feds. “Your twenty-four hours are up. I want my client released, immediately.”
The feds got up, muttered slurs about Italians, and then headed for the door.
“I’ll be waiting at outtake,” Spengotti said. “If she’s not there in thirty minutes, I’m calling the attorney general.”
Once the feds left the room, Spengotti sat on the table in front of Sasha. “Your uncle sends his love.”
“Thank you, Mr. Spengotti—”
“Lucio.”
“Mr. Lucio. You saved my fucking ass.” That could be said on two counts, literally and figuratively.
“It’s not over yet. What do they have on you?”
“Nothing, ‘cause I didn’t do shit,” Sasha said, which was mostly true.
“That’s a good answer.”
The door squealed open, and two guards walked in. Sasha grabbed onto Lucio’s hand. She didn’t want to leave this room, go where he couldn’t see all the horrible things that could happen to a woman in thirty minutes. A wide arm wrapped around Sasha’s throat, and both the guards practically dragged her from the room.
“It’s all right,” Lucio said, stepping back. “I’ll be waiting for you.”
Sasha took one last look at her savior, an angel sent straight from Heaven, before the guards yanked her down the hall.
Chapter Eight
Dez
Dez parked in front of the big house but didn’t kill the engine or look up from his lap. He was too embarrassed. Some man he was, weeping like a bitch in his little brother’s arms. Vinny better not talk about this, ever, to anyone.
“Can you watch Ty for a bit? Kev and the twins together only equal half an adult.”
Vinny chuckled, a sound Dez hadn’t heard in a while. It was nice, brought a bit of warmth into his chest to chase away the coldness that lingered.
“Yeah,” Vinny said, reaching for his door. “Where you going?”
“To find Otis, apologize.”
The passenger door opened but Vinny didn’t get out and Dez wasn’t about to glance over.
“I’m sorry,” Vinny said in a low tone. “What I said last month about me and Sasha being together behind your back all those years ago…it wasn’t true. You shouldn’t believe it.”
“It was true.” That was where Dez intended this topic to end. His now white knuckles should tip Vinny off loud and clear.
Without another word, Vinny climbed from the truck. As soon as the door shut, Dez took off. It wasn’t the bullshit Vinny couldn’t stop talking about that he sped away from. He already knew Sasha and Vinny were fucking back then, a lot, which implied other things. However, beating Vinny’s ass last month over the matter had purged his hatred for their indiscretions.
Dez turned onto the road. His tires skipped on sand-covered pavement as he raced up the mountain. There was something much heavier he sought to escape from than Vinny’s bullshit truths. Ever since Sasha was torn from his grasp at the jailhouse, he hadn’t been able to get the visuals of her being raped from his head. The truck’s engine screamed. Not even the rough bounce of the cab as he cut onto a dirt trail could shake the thoughts loose.
The top of a camper peeked over the trail, and Dez slowed his truck. He parked beside a concrete slab which used to hold the warehouse of Ashby Trucking and shut the motor.
“How’d you find me?” Otis asked the moment Dez stepped out of his truck.
“If I were a lonely old dude who lost everything in one day, I’d set up camp in the ashes of my happiest place too.”
“Oh yeah,” Otis said, dropping into a lawn chair outside his camper. “Then how come you haven’t set up shop in Sasha’s bedroom?”
“Asshole,” Dez muttered, standing in front of Otis.
“What’d you want?”
“Come back,” Dez said, before his mind had a chance to think up a non-whiny way to beg.
Otis climbed to his feet, grabbing onto Dez’s shoulder. “What happened?”
“Nothing.” Dez shrugged away from Otis’s grip. “I just…need you home, man.”
“Bullshit.” Otis folded the thin plastic lawn chair, tossing it inside his camper. “I know that look. Something happened.”
Dez almost broke. How free his mind could be if he let the ugliness out of it, but Sasha’s secrets weren’t his to share.
“Tyler keeps asking about you,” Dez said in a somewhat convincing tone. “I had to shut down production today. Kev’s been running the sets, and the clips I’m getting are shit.”
“Right.” Otis shut the door of his camper, fastening its padlock. “Let’s go and pretend like you’re not a lonely old man trying to get back the shit he lost.”
A rumble filled the air as Otis started his truck. Dez strolled toward his own pickup, holding in the witty comebacks his mind was brewing up. He just wanted his family home, under one roof, which wasn’t too much to ask for. So he kept his lips zipped, sunk behind his steering wheel, and followed Otis down the rocky trail.
***
Vinny
Vinny kissed Tyler on the head and scooted off the couch. He could only take about five minutes of that Fraggle Rock shit before flashbacks of bad acid trips streamed through his mind. Right now, a doobie and a beer was required.
He slipped into the kitchen, pulling a joint from his cigarette pack. A flame an
d a puff later, he could breathe. Smoke wafted around his face as he opened the fridge, finding an empty twelve-pack. He snickered, which cleared the smoke from his eyes for a brief second. With a soft sigh, he sat at the table. Just like with every bone Vinny had blown for the last five years, he wished Sasha were there to share it.
“Mommy’s here!” Tyler yelled from the living room.
“Not yet, buddy. Maybe soon.”
“No,” Tyler said, long and loud. “She just got out of a fancy car.”
The joint slipped from Vinny’s hand, landing on the floor as he rushed from the kitchen. When he hit the foyer, the front door creaked open. Vinny stopped short, and Sasha peeked inside. That one glimpse rekindled his anger and soothed his soul at the same time. He would tell Sasha to fuck off, relieve the anguish of having to choose whether to love or hate her, but his weak heart jumped into his stupid throat.
“Can I come in?” Sasha asked, stepping inside without waiting for an answer.
The scatter of bruises that decorated Sasha’s face stole Vinny’s words. Her swollen, cracked lips didn’t hinder her smile, though. In fact, the black eye and puffy red marks were exactly how her face looked in his memory.
“Yeah—”
Tyler pushed Vinny aside, running toward Sasha.
“You came!” Tyler said, wrapping his arms around Sasha’s waist.
Sasha cried out when Tyler squeezed. Tyler jumped, startled, sparking Vinny to rush forward.
“What happened to you?” Tyler asked, keeping a light hold on Sasha’s arm.
“Umm…” Sasha took Tyler by the hand, limping into the living room. “Mommy fell down some stairs.”
“You fall a lot.”
Tyler hopped onto the couch, and Vinny leaned against the doorway. When he saw how Sasha winced as she sat, flinching with every movement, he knew exactly why Dez was fuming.
“Yeah.” Sasha snickered. “I’ll have to be more careful. Holding you makes me feel so much better, though.”