'You didn't! Oh, Helen, I give up on you, really I do. Men like Ross Maclean are rare and now he's got away. You would have been happy. We all would." She stood and walked to the door, turning to look at Helen ruefully. 'I thought you could live again, live outside this little clan, but maybe I was wrong. The sister I knew seems to have gone for good"
It hit Helen deeply and made her look at herself long and hard as she went to bed. The mirror only told her what she already knew. Inside she was frozen, holding tightly to the shaky security of being herself. Tina had said that the sister she knew had disappeared and Helen knew she was right. She lived behind a wall of fear and ice. Maybe she would never come out again? It had all seemed to be temporary at one time, a little while before she regained her self-esteem, her joy in living, but now it seemed to be her future image.
Her mind strayed unbidden to Ross, to the way she had felt when he kissed her, her cheeks growing hot. She had no idea now whether it was natural or not. Miles had left her in no doubt that she was very unnatural, frigid, ice-water cold. She hadn't felt like that with Ross in that lonely house. There was more to being married than kissing, though. She shuddered, her mind pushing away the vile attention that Miles had forced on her. Could she believe that Ross would leave her alone?
In the morning a letter dropped on to the mat, a long white envelope that made her fingers tremble as she opened it. Miles had started already. His solicitor explained the details, the new circumstances and told her that out of courtesy he was acquainting her with the facts: Miles intended to fight for Tansy. It was no cruel threat. It was cruel reality.
She rang Ross, her heart pounding painfully when he came on the line, so much so that for a second she couldn't speak.
'I...I've had a letter,' she told him when he had stiffly acknowledged her.
'It happens to the best of us.' he informed her sardonically. 'The mail arrives with boring regularity.'
In this mood she couldn't talk to him and she nearly put the phone down, but the night had been long and Tina's face had been drawn and set this morning. She had to continue.
'It was from a solicitor acting for Miles. He intends to go ahead."
'I imagined he would, at this stage. After all, he hasn't had any fun out of the situation yet."
'Help me, Ross!'
The words burst out like a despairing cry and there was silence for a minute before he said quietly, 'How can I? I'm merely your ex-boss, Helen.'
She closed her eyes, clenching her hands tightly, summoning up her courage. 'About what you said. If you meant it, if you still mean it, then I accept.'
'You'll marry me?'
'Yes. I can't run really, can I? It would all happen again, as you told me. He might win and I couldn't bear that. I'll marry you.'
'In that case,' he said softly, 'I'll be there in about half an hour.'
He put the phone down and Helen sat looking at it, her hands coming to her mouth in an unconscious gesture of amnety. Had she done it again? Had she walked yet another time into a nightmare? If she had, then this time she had no excuse. Ross had laid it all on the line, right down to her sleeping arrangements.
'He's come back.' Tina turned to Helen in a belligerent mood as the car stopped at the gate. 'He's not given up. Don't turn him down, Helen. You'll regret it.'
She pounced out to answer the door before Helen could speak and she decided to keep quiet anyway. She had not told Tina about the solicitor's letter. There was now no need for her to know.
She got up and faced Ross with a certain amount of embarrassment when Tina let him in. He just stood and looked at her steadily, watching the colour flood under her skin, and Tina looked both anxious and awkward.
'Do you want me to go out? I can take Tansy out and .. .' She took hold of Tansy's hand but Ross smiled down at the tiny girl, who watched him with huge blue eyes.
'It's bitterly cold out there.' He picked up Tansy with such an air of ease that for a second Helen was in a whirl of uncertainty. He looked natural, like a father. It was astonishingly unsettling. 'In any case,' he added, looking at Tina, 'we need you here, I think. You can help us plan a wedding.'
'You're marrying Ross?' Tina looked at Helen and then scowled ferociously. 'You said ... Do you know what a bad night I've had?'
'She changed her mind,' Ross said smoothly. He put Tansy down and then sat beside her. 'We need a quick wedding discussion because it's going to happen in two weeks, and then we'll go and see the house you'll all be living in.'
'Me?' Tansy asked, trying hard to follow this conversation.
'Especially you,' Ross informed her softly, glancing up at Helen. His eyes held hers and he suddenly smiled. 'A church wedding or a civil ceremony?' he asked quietly.
'I...I don't think I have a lot of choice,' Helen said, colour flooding back into her cheeks. 'I've been married.'
'Is that what it was?' His looks taunted. 'Let's see what we can put up in comparison.' He looked seductive, his eyes veiled, and a shiver ran right down Helen's spine. Of course he was doing this for Tina's benefit, and in a way she was grateful to him. Tina was completely taken in. All the same, his presence was beginning to affect her more each time she saw him, it was beginning to be more and more difficult to look away from those silvery eyes that seemed to touch her like a live wire.
'Gosh! The excitement!' Tina chortled, breaking the spell. 'For a civil ceremony, chief, it's going to be freezing in any church.'
'Well, cherie?' Ross asked, his lips twitching in amusement, his eyes moving over Helen's pink cheeks.
'Yes. I...I don't know. I can't think. I'm sure they won't let me marry in church.'
'Oh, I don't know. I imagine I could twist a few arms. If that's what you really want?'
'No.' Helen suddenly remembered Miles. They had married in church. It had been a mockery after all, and this marriage was not for love or anything like it. To love and to cherish was not something she wanted to say under a great arched roof. Her face clouded and Ross frowned for a split second, but he had the situation in hand and was not about to let it deteriorate.
'You can decide later,' he said firmly. 'I think Tina and Tansy should go and look at their new home. We'll go between snowstorms,' he added, looking out of the window at a very threatening sky. 'I have to get workmen into there at once if we're to move right in after the wedding, otherwise I'll be stuck at the White Bear while my family are here.'
'Family!' Tina trilled, scooping Tansy up. 'Come on, pet, I'll get your things.'
As she went out Ross looked at Helen and then came to stand close, his eyes intent on her face.
'Relax, Helen,' he said softly. 'I have every intention of taking care of all of you. From this moment on you can stop worrying and stop being afraid. Nothing can touch you. I'll see to that.'
'I...I thought that before, when I married Miles,' she said hesitantly, stopping when she realised how it would sound. She expected anger but there was none there as she looked up at him.
'Oh, I know there are a few ghosts to fight,' he agreed.
His hands came to her shoulders with great care, his fingers closing warmly around the slender bone-structure. 'I don't believe in ghosts, though, so I don't anticipate too much trouble. This marriage will benefit both of us but there's no reason why it should be so cold-blooded that you'll feel under threat.'
Something in his voice brought her head up swiftly, suspicion and anxiety in her face. 'You said... You promised that ...'
'I'll never demand anything that you're not more than capable of giving, Helen. Get your coat,' he finished quietly.
He let her go and Helen was surprised how light-hearted she suddenly felt. She was under the wing of his power, they all were, and strangely enough she never doubted his word, she never had done, right from the first time she had seen him.
Events swept her forward at an alarming speed. There was no time to change her mind and, in any case, it would have taken more courage than she possessed to do so. Tina was ecstatic, the
fear and worry lifted from her face, her faith in Ross without limit. There were happy discussions about where to place their own furniture and Helen saw at once that Tina recognised home in the old house where they would live. Tansy was delighted with the size of her place, her little feet taking her at great speed from room to room.
With a dominance that left them all breathless, Ross ordered workmen in the day after Helen had agreed to the marriage. Money spoke loudly, after all, and as the house had been empty for only a little while the work was mostly small adjustments and decorating. The interior designers complained endlessly but work went on all the same, especially after Helen learned to copy the hard stare that Ross turned on anyone who appeared to be slacking. The success of that did a lot for her confidence.
She did not go back to work. Tina had regained her nerve now that Ross was to take over their problems but, all the same, Helen felt the need to be close to Tansy and Ross agreed. As far as she could tell he simply plucked a good secretary from one of the other offices and a gloomy phone call from Jeanette assured her that a dragon in spectacles now sat in Helen's chair. The whole building, she was told, simply buzzed with the news of the wedding and Helen felt again the shiver of apprehension when she realised that Ross had lost no time in making it very official.
She knew exactly how official it was when he called one evening at the end of the week with news that alarmed her. She had seen little of him. They were both busy, and as she opened the door for him it seemed to her that she was marrying a hard, handsome stranger. She experienced the same odd shiver of apprehension that had scared her when she had first seen him. Ross was no ordinary man. His wealth alone would have lifted him right out of her sphere even if he had not been so different, so commanding.
He had made no attempt to be close. Their meetings had been as businesslike as the office. Now, as he stepped inside the warmth of the house, she felt like backing away. He was once again as he had been when she had first seen him, his grey eyes pinning her, that crystal gaze leaping out towards her as he stepped inside.
They looked at each other for a second, Helen's eyes darkening with the flare of panic that came every time she realised how committed she was to this enigmatic man.
Tina, on her way downstairs from settling Tansy, greeted Ross with her usual enthusiasm. 'Don't mind me. You can give each other a hug while I put the kettle on.'
'Now that's very understanding,' Ross murmured, his arms snaking out to capture Helen's waist before she could move. 'As a sister-in-law you'll be very acceptable.'
He pulled Helen closer, his eyes at once warning and sardonic, and there was little she could to escape the inevitability of it. In public she would have to play the part anyway, and if Tina knew the true state of affairs she would not be so gloriously happy as she was now.
She tried to submit fatalistically, expecting him to give her a brief kiss and draw back as Tina left, but even as their lips met she knew her mistake. She seemed to be ringed by flame, feelings surging through her like a bush fire, panic flickering among the flames as she felt herself going down in the heat of it.
She stiffened, fighting her way back, but the arms that held her were implacable and she went right down the blazing path, her lips parting with an awesome inevitability as Ross crushed her against him, his tongue probing her mouth. There was no way she could hold back, he took from her everything he could get with masterful ease, his lips moving against hers slowly, dominating her.
She felt her body beginning to melt, to curve into him, her mind starting to swim, dazzled and torn by a storm of feeling. She sighed against his mouth, forgetting where she was, wanting much more, hungrily searching for something she had never had and only dreamed of long ago. He almost seemed to hear her thoughts. Unexpectedly his hand lifted and stroked down her cheek, his lips easing to gentleness.
'Wow!' When he let her go, Helen heard the gasp of sound that told her Tina was still there, and Ross lifted his dark head to shoot a brilliant glance towards the foot of the stairs where Tina stood transfixed.
'So what happened to the kettle?' he enquired wryly, and Tina shot off to the kitchen.
'Pardon me.' Her face was wildly pink and Helen's face was little better as Ross turned her to the sitting groom apparently unmoved by the event that had left her dazed.
'I have news and I'd better tell you before Tina rushes back.'
'I don't think she's likely to rush,' Helen managed shakily but he ignored the comment, his manner as brisk as if nothing had happened at all.
'The wedding has slightly grown in size.' He sat down and looked at her so evenly that she began to feel she had imagined that devastating kiss, the way he had held her. 'I had a call from New York this afternoon. My parents are determined to come. They'll be here the day before the wedding.'
'Oh.' Helen looked at him numbly. She hadn't given a thought to in-laws. By the time she had married Miles there had been no in-laws on either side. Now she was faced with the idea of meeting people she had never seen before, wealthy people who had a very grand lifestyle. Ross had said his mother entertained a lot and she knew all about his father. Tom Maclean's hardness was a legend.
'What did they say?' Frantically her eyes sought his, looking for reassurance, but he simply shrugged and looked back, a stranger again.
'I didn't ask for their opinion. I made an announcement and they reacted accordingly.'
'Angrily?' she wanted to know. There was something inside her that wanted to grasp him, to be reassured, but he offered no reassurance. She felt coldly on the outside of things, almost an onlooker.
'They know better than that.' His smile was grim but all the same she had the feeling that he was expecting trouble, that he was angry himself. Hadn't he said that they wanted him to marry an American heiress? This was what the wedding was all about from his point of view, after all. Her eyes clouded with doubt and he noted it.
'My father is going to fold at the knees as soon as he sees you. As for my mother, she knows me well enough. She hasn't succeeded in bringing me to heel in thirty-five years and it's all too late now. There isn't a thing to worry about.'
'Where are they going to stay?' She wanted to keep them at arm's length at all costs. She had agreed to this marriage very unwillingly, the whole thing seeming almost academic, but now it began to look real and she wanted to hold it back, to deny it.
'They have two choices: stay in London and drive up, or sample the White Bear. I think one look at the White Bear and Mother will head back to London at top speed.'
Helen hoped so. If they stayed in London it would cut down the meeting times. She sat in silence, Funning worries past her mind at some speed. There seemed to be a lot of them.
'Heard from Gilford?' His voice was cool authority and Helen looked up quickly.
'No. Why? Have you?'
'Why should I?' he enquired drily. 'He doesn't know about me. That's a little surprise for him.' There was a cold glitter about his eyes that told Helen the surprise was planned as a shock, and she pushed aside her other problems. She had forgotten Miles since Ross had arrived but the threat was still there. If it hadn't been, she would have been at work now, smart, efficient and irritated by Ross Maclean. Instead, she was going to marry him. Her hand went to her mouth, her teeth nibbling at her nails, and when she looked up he was watching, reading quite clearly her hesitance and her anxiety.
'You're in this now, Helen,' he reminded her coldly. 'For better or for worse.' There was a finality about it that held her fast, just as his icy gaze held her fast, and she was glad to turn to Tina as she walked in with tea, her cheeks still flushed but a happy gleam in her eyes.
As it turned out, the Macleans arrived two days before the wedding. It was the week before Christmas and they announced their intention of coming straight up.
'The White Bear it is, then.' Ross murmured sardonically as he came to inform Helen. 'We're having lunch with them today. It will give Mother the chance to get over her hysteria and condemn the W
hite Bear.'
Helen wondered what sort of woman this was who had hysterics and yet held large parties. She had built into her mind a very forbidding picture of them and as she walked into the old inn with Ross she wondered if he had been transmitting his own thoughts to her again. They looked formidable and they were not alone.
'So this is the girl?' Tom Maclean's face gave nothing away. Like Ross he was tall, handsome and autocratic looking, his thick hair white and well groomed. He exuded the same aura of wealth, his eyes piercingly blue. For a moment Helen thought he would make no move to come forward. He had one hand in his pocket, his easy stance telling its own story.
'This is Helen,' Ross assured him. They were almost like two powerful animals, circling for advantage, each obviously aware of the other's dangerous qualities, and she was so enthralled by this attitude that she flinched as Tom Maclean suddenly moved, coming forward to take her hand.
'A blue-eyed beauty,' he said, his face relaxing a little.
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