by Leela Ash
Carmen sighed. “You were, but I guess we can call it even for now.”
Greg grinned, and Carmen saw once again just how handsome he was. Even more now that he wasn’t acting like a jerk.
“What are you doing out here by yourself, anyway? Where’s Rachel?”
“Oh, she had a long night with Bobby so she’s sleeping in. I needed a walk…”
“And an escape, apparently,” Greg said, flicking her tickets. Carmen pursed her lips and stuck them in her pocket.
“Well, I don’t want to overstay my welcome. Rachel didn’t even tell her dad I was coming.”
“That’s typical. For being such a hardass, Mr. Thomas is a huge pushover when it comes to his daughter.”
Carmen couldn’t help but laugh. “I noticed that too.”
“Well, the least I could do for treating you like shit is to walk you home. Is that all right? It can be kind of dangerous out here. Especially with these new guys hanging around. Tensions are getting pretty high.”
“All right,” Carmen said, relief flooding over her. It seemed like everywhere she went something was going wrong. She might as well be at her parent’s house. “Thanks.”
“No problem,” Greg said, grinning.
Carmen smiled back as they began walking, wondering what it could possibly be like to get involved with a guy closer to her own age. If she was never going to be able to be with Clark again, she was going to have to try it eventually.
13.
Clark paced through the kitchen. He hadn’t seen her leave, but now that Carmen was gone, all he wanted was for her to come back. What the hell was wrong with him?
He thought about going after her, apologizing for his behavior, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. That conversation might lead to other apologies for other behaviors…how was it that this girl was starting to make him question himself so much? He had never thought of himself as a piece of shit before, but now he was starting to question that.
Finally, he heard footsteps heading his way and he peered out the window of the kitchen. He was flooded with relief when he saw that Carmen had come back, but another feeling plagued him when he saw that she wasn’t alone. Greg, one of Rachel’s classmates and quite a playboy in his own right, was walking beside Carmen, chatting casually.
The sight of his dimples made Clark sick with fury. What was Greg doing with his woman? He had half a mind to bound out and give that good for nothing kid a piece of his mind.
But Carmen smiled at him and said good bye, and walked toward the entrance of his house. Clark bristled and retreated upstairs to his bedroom. He couldn’t face her right now. His emotions were all over the place. It had been a mistake to talk to her that morning on the porch as it was. Now look at him. He had been prowling the house restlessly until Carmen chose to return. And now that she had, he was more furious than ever.
He could hear her soft footfalls on the carpet as she walked into the living room, searching for life in every room. She eventually settled into the living room and turned the television on.
The ice around his heart melted when he heard her put the movie on that they had been watching together. She hadn’t gotten a chance to watch the ending. He growled softly to himself. This was too frustrating.
Clark’s cell phone broke into his thoughts by ringing suddenly and he answered it curtly.
“What?”
“How did it go with Lobos today?” David asked eagerly. “I heard some people saw you at the underground palace.”
“Yeah, I was there all right,” Clark said darkly. “But it didn’t go as well as I’d hoped. Lobos seems completely lost. He told me to stand down and let those bastards take our jobs.”
“Are you kidding me?” David exclaimed. “They’re infiltrating the whole place little by little. What are we going to do when there’s nothing left for us? You know idle hands are not a shifter’s friend. If we’re all demoted to omegas while those freaks have all the power, what do you think is going to happen?”
“I know…” Clark said darkly. “But you know what Lobos said. He wants to see where this leads.”
“I don’t think Lobos has a clue what he’s doing anymore,” David said, his voice low and angry. “I don’t think he’s known for a long time. He’s getting old, Clark. You know it and so does everybody else. What if these people are just con artists? They’re moving in when they know he’s weak to take over the pack!”
“Well, why would they even want to do that?” Clark exclaimed. “There’s nothing in it for them!”
But he knew that wasn’t true. He was just so tired of this whole mess. If he admitted there was something deeply corrupt going on, he would have no choice but to stand up and fight against it. But his pack wasn’t ready for that. He wasn’t even sure he was ready for that. Not if he didn’t know that he was going to win.
“Stonybrooke has a lot more resources than you might think, Clark,” David said. “I’m surprised you’re not more willing to stand up and fight this. I don’t know who these guys are or what their end game is, but I know I don’t like it. All of us have a bad feeling about it. And Lobos is old and weak. His mind isn’t what it used to be. Somebody needs to protect him, and protect the pack. And you know who it is.”
David didn’t wait for Clark to reply before he hung up the phone. Clark bared his teeth and tossed his cell phone across the room. Thankfully, it didn’t shatter. He would get it later.
Clark stood up. He had to get some fresh air. The little bedroom suddenly felt suffocatingly small. And the longer he sat in there, the harder it was to keep his thoughts off of Carmen’s body; the soft and sensual tightening of her body around his fingers as he pleasured her…
Clark growled to himself. Why did it seem like nothing was going right? He tore out of the bedroom and down the stairs. He didn’t know what he wanted to do, but he couldn’t just sit still. There was too much going on around him that he didn’t like.
Usually, working on his bike or the truck would make him feel better, but now he associated both of those things with Carmen. His feelings for her were just one more thing on the list of shit he didn’t know how to deal with. No, he would go have a little talk with Alexander. Maybe that would clear a thing or two up for him.
***
“What do you want?” Alexander asked when Clark stormed through the doors. “You don’t have an appointment. I’m a busy man. Especially now that –”
“Especially now that what?” Clark demanded, lunging toward Alexander and grabbing the lapels of his grey jacket. “Now that your sick little buddies are trying to rule the show and they’ve made you their one-trick pony?”
Alexander smirked and pulled away from Clark’s grip. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Sure you don’t, Alex.”
“It’s Alexander.”
“What’s in it for you?” Clark demanded, letting go of Alexander’s lapel and slamming his fist on the redwood desk separating them. “What makes you think you have a better chance at happiness by betraying your pack?”
“Who says that I’m betraying my pack?” Alexander asked, folding his hands calmly out in front of him. “In reality, is it not my pack who has betrayed me?”
Clark sank down into the chair opposite Alex and stared at him incredulously. “What the hell are you talking about, little man?”
“That’s exactly it!” Alex exclaimed. “That’s the attitude I’m talking about. Not once in all my life has any of you just accepted me as I am. So I’m not a big burly monster. So what? So my inclinations lie more in numbers and statistics over beating someone else senseless. Does that make me inferior? Because you have all certainly implied that it has. I never once felt like I belonged here with you or in this community. Nobody has ever given me the feeling of the belonging you are so passionately defending. You have all betrayed me. I may be a member of the pack but I am not treated like it. You think I don’t know that you all resent me? Make fun of me?”
&n
bsp; Clark sighed loudly, his eyes following Alex as the little man rose from his seat and made his impassioned speech, curling his fist passionately and striking the air above his head with it to enunciate his points.
“Alex, just give it to me straight. Who are the outsiders and what do they want?”
“I know as much as you do,” Alexander said, his beady eyes sparkling. “I don’t know why you insist on trying to pry information from me that I don’t have.”
“Do you really feel like we betrayed you, Alexander?” Clark asked with a deep sigh. “Because you never seemed to want anything to do with us. We tried to include you. We always tried, but you acted like you were above it all. You treated us like we were mindless brutes.”
Alexander pursed his lips defiantly in an expression that nearly made Clark pummel him. “It’s not my fault for stating the obvious. There were far too many times I remember being made fun of for my inclinations. But I’m not just some useless omega, you know. I have quite a lot of power in this town. More than you would ever know. And I didn’t have to shift into my wolf form and pulverize my best friends to get it, either. Unlike you lot. It’s despicable, really.”
“Oh, is it?” Clark growled through his gritted teeth. “And you’re not? Betraying your pack for what?”
“I’d be careful what kind of accusations you make here, Mr. Thomas,” Alexander said, his eyes flashing. “The power dynamics are changing whether you like it or not, and if you want your family to have a nice, secure place in the world, challenging me is not the way to go about it.”
The mention of his family made Clark balk. If anything happened to Rachel because of his big mouth, he would never forgive himself.
“Alex, I never knew you felt that way about us. But we’re still your pack. Maybe if you were honest with us about how you felt, things would have been different. Stewing in your own juices isn’t doing anybody any favors.”
Clark rose and glared into Alexander’s eyes, biting back all of the angry words he wanted to say. If the people infiltrating the hierarchy could take his job, who knew what else they were capable of? Apparently, bullying Alexander into talking was not the course of action to take.
He left, allowing the heavy oak door to slam behind him and separate himself from Alex. Something wasn’t right about all of this. He couldn’t put his finger on exactly what was going on quite yet, but he had confidence that sooner or later, all would be revealed.
Clark could only hope that it wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be.
14.
“Hi…mom?”
Carmen listened to the silence on the other end of the line, her chest tight.
“Carmen?” her mother’s voice finally said. “It’s kind of early for you to call, you know.”
Carmen sighed. Her parents were not early risers. In fact, she was something of an anomaly in many ways, being self-motivated enough to leave the house before 9am and come back early for bed; getting a job while she was in high school and paying her own way through college with grants, scholarships, and good old fashioned hard work.
“Sorry, I know. I thought you’d be awake by 2pm.”
“Well I am, but your father’s not. You’re lucky I heard the phone before he did.”
Carmen sighed. Things were always so strained when her father was around, whether he was on a bender or simply recovering from one. It was usually one or the other.
“Okay, sorry about that,” Carmen apologized again, already regretting the call. “I had a surprise for you.”
“You know I don’t like surprises,” her mother said. Carmen could almost imagine her ringing her hands nervously. Her mother suffered from a well-earned case of extreme anxiety, and it was always worse when Carmen’s father was in the picture.
But for some reason, her mother just couldn’t say no to him. It had made for a very rocky foundation growing up. Most kids don’t wish for their parents to get divorced, but Carmen had. In fact, the school had called with concerns when she wrote Santa a letter in class asking to get her parents a divorce for Christmas.
“I know, mom. That’s why I’m calling instead of just showing up. I thought I’d spend the summer with you and dad. There’s not much going on on campus and I thought maybe…”
Carmen’s mother was silent for a few moments.
“That might not be such a great idea, honey,” she said finally. “You know, things have just gotten into a good place with your father and me, and I would hate for…”
“You don’t want me to mess it up,” Carmen said softly. Her mother didn’t seem to hear.
“Well, it’s just that your father always worries more when there’s another mouth to feed, and as much as we would love to see you, he’s been under a lot of pressure lately, and…”
“I understand,” Carmen said, a lump in her throat forming. She should have guessed that the second her father was back, she wouldn’t be welcome at home anymore. Her mother cared more about keeping him happy so he would stay home than she did about anything else. It was unhealthy, really.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart. But we’ll definitely see each other during Christmas, won’t we?”
“Of course,” Carmen said, clearing her throat. But the lump wouldn’t go away. She hated her father more than she could ever describe. But in a way, she hated her mother more for her weakness.
“Great! So how have you been anyway? It’s been a while since we spoke.”
“I’m great. I’ve been spending some time with a friend…”
“A boy friend?” her mother asked conspiratorially. Carmen flinched as an unwanted memory of her tryst with Clark invaded her mind.
“No,” she said firmly. It seemed like her mother was overly-invested in seeing her daughter find the man she wanted to marry. Her father had always commented on how weird it was that a girl as pretty as Carmen was didn’t date more. Who didn’t like male attention?
But Carmen had always thought that her parent’s preoccupation with the opposite sex was biased. It was better to be on her own, wasn’t it?
“Well, I hope you have fun with your friend, sweetheart,” her mother said.
“Yeah, she invited me to stay for –”
“Oh honey, I have to go, I think your father is waking up. I haven’t even started breakfast yet.”
There was a twinge of resentment in her mother’s voice, as if she were mad that Carmen had gotten in the way of serving her husband’s every need. But Carmen knew it was because of her father’s terrible temper and tried not to take it too personally.
“Bye, mom.”
But the receiver had already been hung up on her mother’s end and Carmen was left holding the phone with hot, silent tears streaming down her face.
“Why are you crying?”
Carmen’s body was electrified by Clark’s deep voice behind her and she whipped around, surprised by his sudden appearance.
“How long have you been standing there?” she asked, wiping her tears away with her sleeve.
“This is my house, I’ll stand where I want,” he said defiantly, and Carmen glowered.
“It’s still rude to eavesdrop,” she said. “I know about your super shifter senses.”
Clark grinned briefly and took a step toward Carmen. “Are you all right?”
The lump returned to her throat and Carmen could have kicked herself for it. The last thing she needed was to look weak in front of a shifter. Clark in particular.
“I’m fine,” she lied, turning away from him and stalking to the living room sofa. She sat down in a huff and turned the TV on, hoping to tune Clark out and distract herself from her tears, but they were already flooding back.
“You don’t sound fine,” Clark insisted, following her. “Who were you talking to?”
“Seriously, don’t you just mind your own business?” Carmen exclaimed, wiping her eyes quickly and trying to hide her face from Clark.
Clark sat down beside her.
“Usually. But not when people are
feeling so bad. What happened?”
Carmen sighed. “I was talking to my mom.”
“And?”
“And I was hoping to go home for a while. You know, to get out of your hair. But she doesn’t want me there.”
“Why wouldn’t she want you there?” Clark asked, genuinely puzzled. “She’s your mother.”
“Well, she’s not a fantastic mother. And besides, it has more to do with my less fantastic father.”
“I see,” Clark said thoughtfully. “Why?”
“Because he’s a worthless alcoholic, that’s why. She’s afraid if I come home I’ll rock the boat. She says things have been better with him lately. It’s what she always says before they get unbearable again.”
The tears began to spill in earnest and Clark quickly gathered Carmen up in his arms. She couldn’t help but take comfort in the feeling of his strong arms around her, as if he would be willing to protect her from anything. But the pain she was feeling was inside. Not even Clark’s strength could take that threat away. It was always inside of her.
“I’ll tell you what,” Clark said, his deep voice rumbling in her ear. “You can call this your home, for the summer or for however long you want it. All right? I don’t know what made you think I wanted you out of my hair, but I get it. Things probably feel as awkward for you as they do for me. But we can be adults about this, right?”
Carmen nodded miserably against Clark’s broad chest and he kissed her on the cheek, his stubble scraping against her as he pulled away.
“I don’t want you to go anywhere. Not unless this town goes to shit. Then I want you and Rachel to take off somewhere safe while I do my best to take care of it. Understand?”
“Yeah,” Carmen whispered.
“Good,” Clark said, smiling down at her. “I don’t want you to ever feel like you’re not wanted, all right? Your daddy sounds like a fuckin’ moron, if you ask me. And your mom’s too lovesick to see it. You’re better off keeping your distance. Things like that have a way of sucking you in and making you feel like you’re not good enough.”