by Leela Ash
“Mom, can I please go play?” He was still just a kid.
His eyes were hopeful and she found it hard to say no to him in moments like this. She would have given him anything, though she really just wished she could change the world in which they both lived. She knew there had to be something better.
“Make sure to stay close hon. Stay where Teresa can see you at least. I am going to grab some alyssum for the salad. I saw some yesterday on the edge of the woods. I will be back in a bit, baby.”
Jessa kissed his forehead and watched him scamper away next door towards his friend’s house. The woman watched him until he caught up with Aidan and he turned to wave to her. That was the pair’s all clear sign.
It wasn’t long before Jessa came across the fragrant white flowers she had been looking for. Bending down to her knees, she quickly pulled out some shears from her pocket to cut the flowers. She was halfway done when she heard a rustling in the brush immediately to her left. Looking up instinctively as to ascertain the cause, she had barely swiveled her head when she felt a sharp, instantly dizzying pain to her temple, even as her world turned black.
Unsure what was going on, Jessa came to a few minutes later with a man on top of her groping her body and trying to rip her clothes off with his rough hands. She immediately recognized him as one of Billy’s friends, but couldn’t quite remember his name. He was not very likeable and she had always unconsciously steered clear of him. Now she knew her instincts had been correct, if there had ever been any doubt.
As the man grabbed her and wrestled with her unyielding body, she didn’t feel fear. It was almost surprising, but she actually felt only regret. She had only just recently gotten the garden the way she wanted it and now they were going to have to leave. If she managed to get out of this, that was.
Shane was only just recovering from his father’s death and a glint of his childhood innocence had finally returned. And now he would lose his little friend, his home, and probably whatever vestiges of a normal childhood she had tried to foster for him. Those were the vague thoughts that went through her mind as she struggled to clear the fog from her spinning head. As her mind cleared further she knew she had to take action.
Turning her head to the side, she searched with her eyes and her free hand for the shears she had held moments ago. She also wished her pants were still on for many reasons, but mostly so she could get at her other weapon, her favorite knife which had been in her belt. Suddenly, she saw the glint of the metal shears to her left, although they were maddeningly just out of reach. Although her mind still felt cloudy and she was just beginning to get a sense of her body being at her command again, the one advantage she seemed to have was that this man was so fixated on violating his prize that he seemed oblivious to the fact that “it”, which is to say that she, was waking up.
He was feverishly pulling her panties down and she could feel his fingers clawing at her crotch as he tried to jam a few fingers inside her. With his other hand he was trying, unsuccessfully as well, to unzip his pants. Frustrated at his inability to multitask at this crucial moment, he quickly withdrew his hand from between her legs, so as to address his damned stuck zipper.
Rebalancing himself on his knees to pull down his vexing pants, he leaned back and away from her just a bit. The subtle shift in his weight offered Jessa just enough freedom to reach the extra inch and wrap her hands around the very welcomed feel of cold hard steel. Seizing the moment instinctively, she adroitly pivoted on her hip, quickly capitalizing on his momentary off-balance posture. The man toppled over and she was now the one in charge.
With surprising speed and agility she straddled him, and just as quickly and unhesitatingly, she plunged the shears into his chest down to the handle. Springing away from him, she watched as the bleeding man reached for her, keenly aware that he might still somehow have some fight left in him. One thing was clear by the shock in his eyes. He definitely had not seen that coming.
Jessa stumbled away from him as his arms quickly fell to his sides and he toppled face first in the dirt, dead. But the bigger danger had not passed. She put her head down to collect her thoughts. What the fuck was she going to do now? The question kept running through her mind. The answer was harder to find.
They were going to have to leave the community. It didn’t matter that the man attacked her. There were many people that wouldn’t believe her and would surely think that it was somehow her fault. She wasn’t very talkative and people found that trait suspicious. Some people felt like women did not have the option to say no anymore, let alone fight back in the new male-dominated landscape. A woman had the choice of finding a man to protect her, or traveling as a gypsy from place to place with the constant risk of being assaulted.
It took a minute for her to realize she did not have any clothes on below the waist and that her shirt was almost ripped off of her. Finding the clothes that had so recently been torn off and dressing herself helped her collect her thoughts even as she touched her head gingerly, feeling a bump forming. Blood had clotted in her hair and smeared her face, even as it mixed with Chase’s blood on her clothes. She walked slowly to the stream nearby so she could take a quick impromptu bath. She was thinking hard about how she was going to get into town in this state without drawing too much attention to herself. She didn’t even notice the man watching her from behind the trees.
***
Michael stepped back and went completely still as she passed. If he had not just witnessed what he had, he would have never believed it. He had come across the two as the man sat on top of Jessa. At first he was unsure what was happening but then had seen the blood on her head and knew something was very wrong. Just then she had started to struggle. Before he could utter a word though, he watched her stab the man to death with one quick strike. Her eyes were filled with an emptiness that he had never witnessed in a person, let alone a woman.
Shock kept him transfixed as the woman watched the man die, not a second of sympathy, or any real emotion, apparent on her face. Her face had a hollow look as she stood by, ready to finish the job if needed. Then it appeared that she had a moment of uncertainty. At least that’s how it looked, but as quickly as it was there, it passed, and she apparently came to a decision. He followed from a distance in the brush as she made her way to the stream. He watched a moment longer, till she had stripped at the water’s edge and hurriedly stepped into the water with a small gasp. The natural spring fed directly into it, so he knew how cold it must be.
As much as he would have liked to stay and watch the death dealing wood nymph in all her nude splendor, he also wanted to help her. He hurried back to the house he was staying in at the edge of town as quickly as he could. He got an extra shirt from his bag and returned just as quickly to put it next to her clothes by the bank. He wasn’t sure why he did it, but Michael took her ripped shirt in exchange.
6
Jessa was not sure who had left a shirt for her, but it was probably a man. At least it was a man’s shirt. Whoever it was must have seen what had happened, because her bloody ripped shirt was gone as well. Now, even more ill at ease with the knowledge that someone else knew of what she had done, Jessa completely forgot about her assaulter’s dead body.
What was she going to do? If she buried it, it would give her a bit more time before she would have to leave. Being the shady type that that guy was, everyone would just think he had slipped off and left town. And truthfully she could think of any number of other scenarios that people might assume had caused his absence. There was always some good in the bad if you looked hard enough. Her Mom had taught her that. Maybe she could even stay until fall so she could harvest and preserve enough for the winter on the road. She just had to hope that whoever had left the shirt was a friend, which seemed likely. Still she didn’t like to be out of control. Maybe whoever it was would want something in return for their silence.
Jessa got back to the body, or where it was supposed to be at least, and there was nothing there. She did a
double take to be sure she was in the right place. Sure enough, the blood still coated the ground, but there was no body. She also detected no discernible trail. What could have happened? Afraid that maybe he was somehow still alive, Jessa’s heart sank. She immediately raced back to town to get her son. It didn’t seem possible that things could get worse, but they were, in fact, getting worse and worse by the minute. She ran back in a controlled panic, and was both surprised and relieved to hear her son’s distinct laughter as she approached the end of her street. Blessedly, nothing seemed to be amiss. Still, understandably alarmed by the day’s events, she was walking back to her house when she saw Teresa waving to her.
“Hey Teresa, where’s Shane? Is he ok?”
“Of course, why wouldn’t he be? They are just playing out back. Did you see Mike?”
“No, should I have?”
“No, but Billy has been looking for him for a while. He wanted him to go with him fishing later. Mike was supposed to be getting some worms and bait in the woods. I thought you would have seen him out there. Oh well, I am sure he will turn up. No big deal.”
Jessa said a few more pleasantries and asked Shane if he wanted to come help her make dinner. He declined, wanting nothing to do with chores of any kind of course. She was relieved. She didn’t know why she had even asked him. It must have been habit.
She entered the house alone and as soon as the door closed behind her, she pressed her back against it, breathing slowly. She needed to collect herself. It was upon finally relaxing and calming her mind that she noticed the masculine smell coming off of the shirt she wore. Closing her eyes for a moment, she lifted the collar and inhaled. The smell quickly reminded her of the man she had met the night before, and how he had made her feel in his presence. Just as quickly she put the pieces together.
***
Dinner that night consisted of baked potatoes with butter and sour cream, string beans and a salad. Jessa had just set the table and was going to call Shane in, when she stopped at the kitchen window. Michael was out front playing catch with him and her son was beaming with the attention. Her son missed his father. He missed having a man to look up to and show him the way. Hating to break the fun up, she called for Shane to come in and eat. To her astonishment, after Shane said something to the man, he started to follow the boy into the house. Great, she thought, this is just what I need. Her mind and body were already addled enough.
“Mom, I invited Mike over for dinner. You always say there’s enough for everyone.”
“Of course hon.” she said, even if she wasn’t exactly feeling it.
She patted the boy’s head before she sent Mike a glare with barely contained hostility. Although a part of her knew she should be grateful, what she felt was anger at the knowledge that this man had in a small way “saved her.” She had gotten so used to doing everything on her own that she wasn’t sure she was ready to let down her walls and receive any help. Seeing that look, Mike almost changed his mind about staying for dinner, especially after thinking of the fate of the last man who crossed her. He brushed whatever second thoughts he had aside and chose to follow his impulse and push ahead and pass through the door.
“Welcome, Michael was it?”
She looked at the man again, her face back to neutrality as she awaited his reply.
“Shane, go wash up dear.”
Jessa watched her son huff to the bathroom, a little perturbed his mother had spoken to him like a child in front of his new friend. She turned to speak to Michael, who had suddenly gotten so close to her that she forgot her own words in surprise. She took a step back, but Michael grabbed her gently around her waist and pulled her to him. He huskily spoke in her ear, “I like this shirt much better on you.”
Jessa’s body felt electrified like never before, not even with her husband. The man’s touch sent her body on edge and she backed up from his grasp. The knowledge that it had been he who left the shirt only intensified her body’s reaction. She did not feel a danger, but rather a need that could be even more dangerous to the woman. Her body was responding to this virile man. She moved too quickly and winced and grabbed her head reflexively. It was becoming a very eventful, as well as confusing, day for the young woman.
“Let me take a look at that.”
“No. I’m fine. I have taken care of it already.”
“I bet you have. But let me look.”
Michael touched her gently, pushing long strands of her hair back to see the wound. It looked as if she was hit by the butt of a gun and there was a substantial cut. He also noticed flecks of green and a clear jelly on the wound.
“Here, let’s clean it out.”
“It is clean. Those are herbs so it doesn’t get infected.”
“You’re a healer as well?”
Shane came out of the bathroom and Jessa pulled herself from Michael, looking away.
“You ready to eat, baby?”
7
The meal was simple, but delicious. With as much traveling as he was used to, Michael was used to scavenging for what he ate. He couldn’t remember the last time he had had butter. Very few people even knew how to make it anymore. He had not seen sour cream since before the bombs.
“How in the world did you make sour cream?”
“I found some vinegar a while back. You just mix it up and let it sit for a while.”
She made it sound so simple. He guessed it was, but you had to know how to do it. There were other luxuries that he noticed that he had not seen since the time before all the destruction, when society ran like a well-oiled machine. Another luxury was the alcohol that he was drinking, a sort of moonshine. It was strong and he could feel its effects almost immediately with the first sip. As they finished their meal and he drained the last of his drink, he felt an uncharacteristic groggy feeling spread through him, which soon gave way to unconsciousness. The next time he opened his eyes, he was still sitting there, but now with his cheek resting on the table. As he slowly raised his head, he saw that the boy was nowhere in sight.
“Come on big boy, time to go lie down.”
“What was in that drink?”
“Nothing you won’t sleep off dear.”
With him in a more vulnerable state, Jessa leaned in and captured his lips with hers. Her tongue teased his mouth open, before he could reciprocate. She gently nipped his lips as his hand grabbed at her breast. It didn’t matter how out of it a man was, they always had energy for that, she thought. He moaned into her mouth before he passed out completely once more.
Jessa looked down at the man lying unconscious in her bed. It really was a shame, she thought. He would have been one of the men she actually would have considered for a real relationship…or at least for a few romps in the hay. She couldn’t help but look at the bulge that had yet to go down in his pants. She reached out and grabbed it with her hand, saddened further by the size of it. Such a shame, she thought again.
8
Michael woke up with a start and quite a pounding headache. He completely forgot where he was for a minute. He looked around and found himself in Jessa’s bed, but she was nowhere to be seen. Walking through the house, he could see that the essentials were missing. The top drawers of her dresser were open and empty. The once full cupboard was half bare. The woman was gone. Michael’s heart sank.
He was frustrated and a little angry, but a look around her little house made him even more intrigued. For such a small house, every inch was used efficiently. There were plants and herbs preserved and drying in every room that he walked through. He did not even know what half of them were, but it sure looked impressive. There were plants growing indoors, almost as many as there were growing outside. He had the sinking feeling that Jessa had run away, and it was because of his shirt comment. Somehow he had gotten the crazy idea that she would be grateful for his help. Instead, she seemed pissed. One thing had stayed the same since before the bombs, he thought. He still didn’t understand women. Mike would have never told anyone what happened, but s
he didn’t know that. He had scared her off. A wave of guilt and some self-condemnation washed over him. Well, she wasn’t getting away so easily. He would just have to find her.
***
Jessa walked down one of the overgrown side roads on her way towards the coast. She had been trying to decide about their trip for a while and the incident with that creep – that dead creep now - cemented the idea. She was craving the saltwater and Shane had never even seen the ocean before. That was something she wanted to rectify.
She figured that it would take a few months and she had brought enough dehydrated vegetables and jerky, as well as energy cakes she made out of ground acorn, mixed dehydrated berries and animal fat, to make the journey. Shane was understandably not very excited about leaving the little town, though he knew that there must be a reason and listened when his mother woke him up and told him to pack. They each had a full pack on their backs, since what they could carry was now the sum total of their worldly possessions.
He was used to moving around. The last six months had been the longest they had stayed in one place. He knew his mother was fearful of traveling alone and he picked up on her added stress. He was not quite sure what she was afraid of. She would never admit she was afraid, but Shane knew when she was. He liked the idea of traveling again and he always looked at it like an adventure. He was going to miss Aidan and even that new man Michael, but he did not want to stay in that tiny town forever. There were so many things that he was told growing up, the stories of the way the world used to be and he wanted to see more of what was left. Mostly knew he had to be brave for his mom.
“Where are we going Ma?”
“Well baby, I would love to see the ocean again, and wouldn’t you like to see water everywhere as far as you can see?”