by Pam Uphoff
"Yes ma'am."
***
They stripped the soldiers of anything they didn't recognize. Then a few witches scooped out a long hole. The burial mound was substantial. The Western troops who'd been killed made a smaller mound in front of it. They at least got a few last words. And their relatives will know what happened to them. The strangers? Perhaps word of this will filter through their post head and back to their families.
"Your charge was the last straw. Took out easily half the remaining foot troops." Xen slumped a bit, standing at the foot of the smaller mound. It was close to midnight. The moon was setting, only Garit's lantern shed light on the fresh dirt. "Did they think we could use the soldiers to find their home?" Quicksilver's visualization, that recognition of which world was ours . . .
Garit shrugged. "Damn them. I refuse to be sympathetic toward invaders, no matter that their own officers killed nearly a quarter of them." He shifted, and glanced toward the tavern. "Or, not very sympathetic. It looks like your field hospital is packing up. I need to find a spare mount. Poor Joker. Thank the Old Gods I didn't have Clowny with me."
They walked back together. Xen tried to not limp, to stand straight and not clutch his side. Melt down and go to sleep, right there on the trampled grass.
Great Grand Rufi was standing in the pool of lantern light in front of the Tavern. He nodded a greeting to the two young men. "I got here just in time to see all sort of interesting heroics. And, I might add, an excellent demonstration of how much we need magic users. So, Xen, I'm sending you home to recover, and figure out how to recruit some people."
"Start by training the ones you have already. Umm, who can see the glow." He turned his hand over and had it slapped by his mother. "I'm sure some other people would be delighted to put something together that you could use to find the magically talented people you already have. Starting with Easterly and Deena Janic." He eyed the Great Grand's tired looking face.
"We'll close down the House in Karista. Not sure what, if anything we should do with the women and children, or those idiot men of theirs." The old man looked tired. Sixty-seven of our men, two hundred plus Oners, erased from the face of . . .any and all worlds. How many men has he buried in his fifty years in the army? And now the strong possibility of a war.
Janic walked out and joined them. "I think we can safely say that that spy ring is history. Lieutenant, report to my office in one month, and not a minute sooner. Later if your . . . doctor . . . says so."
"Umm, that bubble and all in the house . . . "
"I'm sure one of us can deal with it, if it needs dealing in the next month." His mother sounded firm.
Rufi and Janic took the hint. He had a vague suspicion she'd been in full Dark Lady mode, and next best thing to a Goddess during the battle. No one was going to argue with her.
I missed all the fighting on the road. I wonder how much magic was flying around? Even Colonel Janic looks . . . respectful.
Wacolm, Easterly and Deena were hovering, and slid in when the others moved off.
"Did I forget about the order to not do anything magnificently heroic?" Wacolm said.
Easterly sighed. "I thought you were a smart ass half trained wizard like the very few others I've ever met. Just please tell me that there was none of that nasty castration business we hear about sometimes involved in your upbringing."
"In these enlightened times, we merely magically suppress hormones in boys until about twenty-two years of age." Xen waved a hand. "Nothing to it really."
Deena glowered. "And this is why all these women want to have your baby?"
"All what women?" Xen looked apprehensively beyond her.
"I kept count. One witch was bragging that she already had, and might just do it again. Six started plotting an assault on your obviously hard pressed virtue. Eight merely sighed and looked wistfully this direction."
Wacolm sniggered. "That's what you get for first looking amazingly heroic, out there fighting all alone, and then standing here all pale and injured. Then mounting back up and heading out again."
"You left out rescuing the kids." Easterly looked around. "I haven't a chance, right?"
Xen looked him over. Scrape on chin, bloody rip in right shirt sleeve. "I refuse to believe you didn't get some sympathy."
"Sympathy, yes. Drooling and panting, no. And to top it off, I'm shoveling out stalls for the next month."
Xen looked around carefully before speaking. "Ah yes. Poor fellow, getting fed by Flare three times a day. And in case you are wondering, no. Never even kissed her. Most likely a virgin. Hell, she's only sixteen. Go admire her horses, make friends with that big old Dun. Bide your time. In the meantime, where's Kipp?"
"He came and went with the wizards; he took the boy back with him. We'll work out later who's going to live where." His mother injected. "Obsidian took the baby home. Art is his father. Now, your friends are welcome to visit you in Ash. The corridors are wide open, so just come anytime, and ask anyone for directions to the winery." She turned and poked the God of War. "Take the boy home, dear."
Chapter Forty-one
Summer Solstice 1392
Ash, Foothills Province, Section Two
They came a week later, led by Garit, and found Xen buck naked in the hot springs behind the winery. His mother tossed him some short pants. "Since this group of friends probably still blushes."
"At least you were alone." Easterly grinned, patting Lion while Silky and Blackie sniffed them all.
"You're right, it could have been worse. Having fun shoveling?"
"Oh, yeah. A laugh a minute. If it weren't for the old horse, the company and the food, I'd really hate it." He drummed his fingers. "How did you teach them to not soil their stalls, why can't you teach the cow that, and is it really a good idea to leave them all loose? With, I might point out, a young stallion who is almost old enough to be a problem. And who gelded that chestnut? I want to kill him."
"Umm, you know what I said about wizards, and suppressing puberty? That colt will be just like a gelding until I want differently. Same with the mares. They won't be coming into season unless we want to breed them. Now look, feel free to laugh at me, everyone else does. I talk to horses, and the really smart ones, I understand when they talk back. Pyrite thinks stallions are really stupid and refuses to take any regeneration type potions. And I don't talk to cows."
They swapped looks around. Deena shrugged. "Last week we would have laughed at you. This week, we'll merely think you had some head injuries."
"Anyway, I'm done with stalls. Harry has a new stable boy until you get back." Easterly looked ambivalent.
They all looked thoughtfully at the steaming pool. And then at the Girls.
"No, I am not going to strip and hop in." Deena crossed her arms and looked stubborn.
Lily looked tempted.
"Umm, my mom is at hand, and could probably find something that would preserve you ladies', excuse me, Guards of the female persuasion's modesty without drowning you."
"Hmm, I'll go ask." Deena walked away, and Lily followed. The guys stripped down to almost nothing and eased in.
Deena walked back in a lightweight shift, black, sleeveless, tied at the waist, knee length. "That's all the leg you're going to see, louts. Unless Lily gives into temptation." She climbed in gradually, ouching all the way.
Lily made an entrance in bright blue. Showing every inch of a pair of very nice legs. And cleavage. And back. Arms, too. And the bright blue cloth might hide skin, but it did it by clinging to her shape and certainly displayed it to advantage.
Four male inhalations. Stopping just short of wolf whistles. Lily smirked, and undulated into the pool.
"So, Xen. Hot springs, willing women. What the hell are you doing in the Army, especially shoveling out stalls." Wacolm closed his eyes and sank back blissfully.
"Too many predatory women, mostly older than me, here. A whole big world out there. The two year rotation sounded perfect. Then they ganged up on me and talked me
into another five, with the main job being keeping an eye on the gates. Shoveling stalls was the perfect cover. Plus Harry needed the help, and I like talking to horses." Xen shrugged. "Really, it's been great. Did I missing anything important, sleeping away this last week?"
"Lady Eden gave birth to twin boys." Lily was watching him closely.
Xen winced. "Poor girl. Twins on top of everything else. Is she doing all right? Psychologically? She's got to have a pretty good idea how she's been used."
Deena snorted. "Everyone is arguing about what constitutes a legal marriage, under those circumstances."
Xen blinked. "What does Rebo say about that?"
"He laughs hysterically and says they missed their chance." Deena eyed him. "She spilled the beans, you know. Says you were obnoxious, but didn't actually have sex with any of the women at the orgy, including herself. Why didn't you say so?"
"I was rendered speechless by the presumption that I screwed seven women in less than an hour?"
Deena scowled.
Xen shrugged. "I didn't want to act like I was disassociating myself from them. And by proxy, removing any protection the magical community might extend to them. I . . . was not altogether sure what you arrogant city people might do to a group of inconvenient peasants. And what that could escalate into."
That got him a collection of glares.
Except from Garit, who thought it was funny. "Xen, you have the strangest grasp of the concept of . . . well . . . politicians' honor?" His voice slid into doubt. "Rufi wouldn't . . . "
Wacolm sniffed dismissively. "Of course he wouldn't. Rumor has it Lady Eden's moved to some outlandish village called Ash. Rufi approved, said she deserved something out of life."
"Excellent." Lily looked relieved.
Deena glowered at him. "I will be taking some lessons here."
"Witches are very powerful magic users. Nothing to be ashamed of. The vast majority of them do not throw orgies at the drop of a hat." Xen told her. "In fact, the majority of them have sex only when they want a child."
Wacolm frowned. "Rufi told me I needed a trip up here to start relaxing around magic. He claims there are some gods living here."
Xen smiled at his challenging look. "Define god. If you mean the creator of the universe and mankind, no, no gods here. If you mean four members of a group of thirteen extremely powerful magic users, who overstrained themselves and were overwhelmed by the collective subconscious and force fit into the molds of several archetypes fourteen centuries ago, yes, that sort of god we have."
Easterly squirmed. "I may regret asking, but just exactly who were all those very scary people we saw last week."
"Hmm, well. Harry is the God of Travelers, or roads, or crossroads or whatever. And Lady Gisele, Goddess of Heath and Fertility, was running the medical station. The God of War was the fellow on the humongous black horse. The Dark Lady, who was out there on the merely big black horse, no doubt you noticed bore a striking resemblance to my mother. The God of Love, who is currently the Mayor of Ash, is the fellow on the bright chestnut. The wizards who were draining the power from the laser weapons were led by Master Nil, once better known as King Nihility of Scoone, and Dydit Twicecut, who spent about eight centuries as a large black goat. And there you have it."
Deena shook her head. "Head injury is a whole lot easier . . . "
"I didn't actually have time to check which witches were where." Xen grinned at their glares. "I suspect most of my female relatives were out there. Did you see a spectacular blonde slaughtering bad guys right and left? Never's Rufi's daughter, she's got that bright blonde hair like Garit here. She's my grandmother."
Lily sat up indignantly. "You are the old General's great grandson. Forget about all the gods and assorted hallucinations. I didn't know General Rufi had any children, until these rumors that he had a great grandson in the Army started circulating."
Garit laughed. "Oh come now. I know you've heard Uncle Rufi's stories. Three quarters of them involving his witch daughters. I strongly suspect that you are in the presence of the Boy with the Talking Horse."
Xen frowned. "Stories?"
Deena snorted. "Very silly stories, designed to entertain young relatives. The Boy with the Talking Horse? Oh, sure. Tell me, when you were ten years old did you turn six bandits into big purple bunny rabbits?"
Xen boggled. Finally got his mouth shut. "Oh, well, he may have exaggerated a bit. I was almost twelve."
Fortunately they all laughed. I ought to have tried that on some soldiers. Don't suppose it would have saved them from radio controlled death, though. The goat spell didn't save them. Poor sods. Buried in goat form.
"Where'd you meet Hoon? Was she on the watch list, were you ordered to get close to her?" Lily asked.
He swapped glances with Garit.
"Might as well tell them."
"My poor battered reputation. For just a second I thought it could be saved." Xen sighed. "Our two year rotations were with that lot you've all seen at Hoon's house. At the end of six months at Farofo, we went across the border for immoral purposes. Then six of the ten of us went loopy and went back the next night and picked up six whores to bring along to Fort Otter. And then Karista. When I was checking to see if one of the two kids born about nine months after that little border foray was mine, I realized that Hoon had a really odd X chromosome, and checked with the experts, who said it was the One World magic X, so I reported that to Janic. Apparently that poor idiot Rally looked like the perfect way to infiltrate Karista and government."
Garit shook his head. "And she tried to hang the kid on me, too . . . Xen, can you tell magically?"
"Arg! Yes. He's mine." He took a deep breath and submerged for a long moment. I have two children and I should be raising them. Why did I let this situation develop? Continue? He resurfaced.
Deena was looking away from him. Garit looked amused. "Tsk, tsk! Just as your reputation was heading the right direction . . ."
Easterly cleared his throat, and looked upslope at the rows of vines. "So, when the God of War isn't off fighting somewhere, he kicks back and makes magic wine?"
"Nah, it's mostly plain old wine, umm, very good wine. But not magic." Xen relaxed as the attention wandered away from his presumed reproductive prowess. And known parental irresponsibility.
"And the God of Roads keeps an inn and tavern." Easterly shook his head. "Nice old fellow. You should have seen what he could do with that spear."
Lily's eyes narrowed.
Xen chuckled. "The Goddess of Health and Fertility plays at village herb wife while lecturing on genetics. The God of Love writes awful poetry and got elected Mayor of Ash a few years ago. The Goddess of Logic lives quietly in Karista spending her time at the University and the Library. The God of Just Deserts spends most of his time on an island, and you really don't want to catch his eye. Or kick one of his dogs." Xen glanced back at his old mutts. Huh. They were not too old to herd sheep, no matter what Uncle Havi said. He'd take them back to the Tavern and get them some new sheep.
Deena scowled. "I hope you realize my dad has had about three litters of kittens since that magic battle. So have the other officers who were there. We all realized that without magical help, we'd have been mincemeat, and, well, looking around, there aren't all that many magic people. Roughly fifty witches and a dozen wizards. No reserves, that was it."
Wacolm snorted. "There were three Land Grant Holders there. All the magical types are being called 'local militia' in the reports. No one wants to put his name to a report about magic." His grin widened. "Rufi said something about getting an officer he knew to write it up. And you being the only magician in the Army, I figure I know who's going to be tapped for the job."
Xen groaned. "There's always Lefty—if he can find him."
Easterly nodded. "They're talking about forming a magic squad. They figure Colonel Lebonift ought to be in charge—but then they'd have t'figure out how t'keep him home instead of exploring all those different worlds."
; Xen grinned. "Yeah. Lefty stuck behind a desk? Not bloody likely. They ought to just grab a good competent organizer and put him in charge. Let all us magic types do the field work." He eyed Wacolm and Parsons.
They were both shaking their heads. No volunteers. Besides, Uncle Lefty outranks them both. I wonder when Easterly was commissioned?
Xen frowned suddenly. "Easterly, do you have a first name?"
"Unfortunately. None of your damn business what it is either."
Xen grinned. "The witches here pick a theme and go through the alphabet. When I was a baby they were almost done with rocks and minerals. Can you imagine going through life as Wollastinite or Urtite? I was a surprise, witches aren't supposed to have male children. Anyway, I'm Xenotine, officially."
"Wollastinite?"
"Yeah, she's one of my aunts, the other is Leopardite. They've been doing mammals lately, and the births have all dried up, most likely because no child should go through life called Yak. I think they're going to abandon that string early, go on to something else."
They were all laughing.
"Xen, I refuse t'believe a word you say. What about Flare?"
"She's some odd sort of wizard, so her name wasn't dictated. The bird names weren't too bad, even though they did start off with Albatross."
Deena sputtered. "I refuse to credit this."
"Well, everyone calls her Teri, except her mother who gave her up for adoption and has periodic fits of attempting to, well, I'm not sure. Make sure she feels guilty for existing or something?"
"All right. Is there anything I should know about . . . Swish?" She bit her lip.
Xen snickered. "Rustle, Swish, Tromp . . . they drew the line at Ululation, fortunately. They're really not that strict about the names. Swish . . . you know the kind of very needy teenager? Demanding, then once she gets what she wanted, it turns out to be a big disappointment and she wants something else? Well, Swish never quite outgrew it. She has three children, Emerald did not inherit any magical ability and has moved to Rip Crossing. Her second daughter, Violet, is fifteen and has not yet grasped Power, so not yet advancing either herself or her mother. As if that will fix the trials of life and make everything wonderful. Swish's third child is Nighthawk. Just be polite. Violet is nice, and will no doubt gossip your ears off." Xen grabbed his head. "Oh. I'm as good as dead."