by Amelia Rowe
The world looked different now. And I was a different person in the world.
“I love you.” The words came easily. It was the most obvious statement that I could make, the one thing that I was absolutely certain of in that moment.
He planted a gentle kiss on my forehead. His strength reassured me and gave me the will to go on with the interview.
“Miss Parker, Mr. Nolan, can I get you a cup of coffee before we go in?” Sergeant Willis, who had been one of the first to arrive on scene, asked as he emerged from his office.
“Please,” I said, needing something to revive me. “Has Lucy given her statement yet? Was she badly injured?” We’d seen her, bleeding and terrified, as we left the fourteenth floor.
“Sorry?” he asked, with a look of confusion. “You were the only one we found on the scene.”
I sighed, nodding. She was the one person who had taken care of me up there. And apparently she’d gotten away when my father’s men rounded the other girls up. I prayed that my father hadn’t recaptured her.
A younger officer led us into the meeting room. Coffees were brought in, and Sergeant Willis and another officer I didn’t know yet joined us.
“I know this won’t be easy, Miss Parker,” the officer said. “But we need any and all details you can recall. Even if it doesn’t seem relevant.”
Luke squeezed my hand underneath the table and sat in silence next to me as I recounted everything from the moment I first entered my father’s hotel.
The more I spoke about it, the more I gave life to everything I had experienced, the stronger I felt. I owned my words.
We didn’t emerge from the police station until after five in the morning. My brain was hazy with fatigue but a reluctant energy buzzed through my body. The combination made me nauseous. The moment I sank into the leather seat of Luke’s car, I wanted to sleep. I looked at Luke as we drove through the quiet city. He’d always seen more in me than I saw in myself. In the end, the strength he’d drawn from me saved me.
“How are you?” He gave me a pained smile, resting a hand on my thigh. I wondered if I’d ever be able to make the lifetime of apologies that I owed him. The realization that all he had tried to do was protect me caused me to do something that Gigi hadn’t done enough of and Nina needed to do; I cried.
“Hey,” Luke leaned over when we paused at a stoplight. His nearness soothed me and shattered my heart all at once. He took my cheek in his hand, wiped away a tear, and pressed his lips soft against mine. “I was so scared,” he whispered.
“I’m so sorry,” I sighed, resting my forehead against his. Tears continued to roll down my cheeks. “I wish I could take it all back. Everything I said and did.”
The light turned green at the most inconvenient time. Luke focused his eyes back on the road but kept my hand tightly grasped in his free hand. “Nina, you wanted to believe the best about your father. I will never fault you for that. Ever.”
We spent the remainder of the drive in silence clinging to each other. His statement jolted me from my haze, reminding me that I lost something substantial in this whole ordeal. I’d lost any hope in finding a family with my father and any opportunity at having a family in this life felt like it was dwindling. When we pulled into the parking garage, I sat up straight and faced him.
“I want to meet my brother.” There was a still a chance, after everything that had happened, that I might get to have my family. My brother had come back for me. “Can we go see him?” I needed to see him. I needed proof that he was real. I needed something.
“Nina, I think that’s something you’ll have to do on your own.” He couldn’t conceal the strain in his voice.
“Why?”
He sighed, running his fingers through his wavy hair, keeping an eye on the road at all times. “Right now, I have to stay out of any business between you and Adam. He’s not too pleased with me.”
Even though I wanted to prod for more details, the defeated expression on Luke’s face told me that it had something to do with his involvement with me. After everything I’d put Luke through, I could wait one more night.
We entered Luke’s apartment, and I’d never been so happy to see somewhere ever in my life. The view of the Hudson brought me comfort. This was my safe space. I was at home, here with Luke for the first time. Given the situation with Adam, I probably should have gone up to the penthouse and slept there. But I knew that Luke wouldn’t go there with me, and I couldn’t stand to be away from him. Instead, I walked to his television and turned flipped to the news. When we’d left the hotel, media vans were already parked outside – local New York City news, and national news.
“A developing story coming to us from Manhattan this morning, as the FBI carried out a raid on a suspected human trafficking ring…” one anchor said.
I scanned through all the news channels, searching for any news on the other girls who were there. My father was nowhere to be found and neither were the girls. My thoughts trailed back to Lucy, wondering where she ended up. Deep down, I knew the answer was one I didn’t want to hear. She was the girl I’d only spent a day with, but somehow my heart wouldn’t feel settled until I knew she was okay.
Luke wrapped his arms around me from behind, pulling my body close into his. His touch relaxed and soothed my entire body. Finally back where I’d prayed so hard to be, I turned and collapsed into his arms, letting out uncontrollable, tearful sobs.
“I’m so sorry, I was so terrible to you.” I had been. The guilt had been eating at me since I realized that Luke had always been telling the truth.
“Nina, I need you to know something.” He lifted my chin and wiped my tears with his thumbs. “I will always come back for you. Even when you don’t want me to.”
I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled his mouth to mine. His lips parted as he drew me in closer. Without a word, our bodies fell into a familiar rhythm. I shivered as his hands roamed up my stomach, then around to my back. In one swift motion, he pulled the oversized t-shirt off me. Still, I didn’t feel close enough to him. I tugged at his shirt and, getting the message, he removed it. My heart raced with my need to feel him. I had never needed something so bad as I needed Luke then. I pressed my cheek to his chest trying to control my breaths.
“Hey,” a twinge of concern came through his voice. He stroked his fingers through my hair attempting to calm me. “You’ve been through a hell of an ordeal. We don’t have to –”
“You don’t understand,” I unbuttoned my jeans and slid them down my legs. “Right now, this is what I need. I have to know that I’m not alone in this life.” The swelling in my chest warned me that the tears were about to pour out again. For the first time in a long time I felt truly myself. I was Nina, imperfect with all my jagged edges. Gigi was all but dead to me and I needed to push all the bad she’d brought into my life out.
Luke stared down at me, assessing the change that was occurring right before his eyes. As if reading my mind, he leaned down so his lips barely touched mine, and whispered to me for the second time ever, “I love you, Nina Parker.”
Without waiting for a response, he lifted me from where I stood and I wrapped my legs around his waist. I wanted to beg him to stop and repeat himself, to make sure I’d heard him correctly. But, as he held me, he walked and kept his lips firmly pressed to mine all the way to the bedroom. He sat on the bed, our bodies still entwined. I pulled back just long enough to rest my hands on his face. I’d screwed up so bad the first time he told me that and wasn’t going to let that happen again.
“I love you back, Luke Nolan.” With all my heart, I knew I meant it. The moment he registered my response, something in him changed. Luke rested his forehead against mine, sighing as though the weight of the world had been lifted off his shoulders.
“There’s something I need to tell you,” his voice quivered. It was the kind of statement that wrenched the heart with anxiety. Scared of what he might say, I waited until he was ready to continue. “I spent my entire lif
e thinking I was incapable of love. Someone hurt me a really long time ago, and I never recovered.” I couldn’t ignore the raw pain in his voice.
“Who hurt you?” I didn’t know who it was or what they’d done, but I wanted to kill them for it.
“We can talk about that story someday, I promise. I’m not ready now, and I still have a lot of work to do on myself. But I just need you to know something,” he pulled me in close and kissed my forehead. “You changed everything for me. You made me want to get better. You showed me that despite everything, I am capable of loving with abandon.”
Even though my heart was breaking for him, it was enough for the time being. Enough until he was ready to tell me more. Enough to help me understand him. Enough to still know that I loved him no matter what truths he would reveal. Luke rocked us back onto the bed, never breaking from each other. I strained against his body as I grasped at his belt and I felt him smile against my lips.
“I never knew I could love such a greedy girl,” he teased, lightening the mood. He kissed me again then pulled away to remove the remainder of his clothing and put on a condom. The momentary absence of his body from mine only made me more urgent when he returned to me.
Luke leaned over me, resting on his arms. He stared down into my eyes as he slowly eased into me. Only once I felt him completely within me did my body relax. We moved together in slow silence, to the beat of our two imperfect hearts, never looking away.
When it was over, our exhaustion became unavoidable. Just as I was about to surrender to sleep, he wrapped his arm around me waist and pulled my back into his chest.
After a prolonged embrace, he whispered, “I have an idea.”
“You sure you want to do this?” Luke asked as he shifted his SUV into park. At his insistence, I’d slept, but only for a few hours before I forced him to follow through with his suggestion.
“I have to,” I said.
“Do you want me to come with you?”
I nodded my head. “Could you?”
I stared at the small blue house on Carpenter Drive and wondered what peace I would be disturbing when I knocked on the door. Prior to leaving, Luke had warned me that my mother might not receive my visit warmly. Still, I demanded that we go. But now, after driving two hours, I was reconsidering the step I was about to take. Hadn’t my mother been through enough in her life? Maybe it was better to leave her alone.
“I can’t,” I decided aloud, and turned back to Luke. He only smiled, then took my hand into his and kissed it.
“Nina Parker, if there’s anyone in this world who is capable of facing this, it’s you.”
His confidence in me was the only thing I needed to get through this. Together, we exited the car and began the long walk up the path that would lead me to one more truth.
When we reached the front door, I listened for any movement within the house. There was only silence. Before I could change my mind, I put my finger to the doorbell and pushed. Beside me, Luke took my hand in his and gave it a squeeze. The quiet persisted, and I almost turned back toward the car. But then the front door opened.
The woman staring through the screen door didn’t seem surprised at my presence on her front step. She had dark hair and was shorter than me. A heavy darkness clouded her face. She greeted us with a look that said, I’ve been expecting you.
“You again,” she said, addressing Luke, but looking back at me. I stared back, searching her eyes in an attempt to understand the pain my father had put her through. I’d only been a part of Blake’s warped world for a few days. She’d endured a lifetime of suffering thanks to him.
“I’m not here for me this time,” Luke replied.
My mother’s eyes settled on me. I wanted to beg her to hear me out, not to slam the door on me. But the only thing I could think to say was, “Hi, I’m Nina.”
“I’ve been watching the news.” She ignored me, a tremble sounding in her voice.
“Patrick Blake is going to be caught,” Luke reassured her. “But Rachel, this is Nina. Your daughter.”
The woman looked at me as though she’d just realized I was there. When she didn’t immediately respond, I moved closer to Luke, praying he’d make the mounting doom within me subside. But then, her features softened toward me.
Holding the screen door open, my mother said to both of us, “Please, come in.”
About the Author
Amelia Rowe is the author of all things dark romance. She delights in taking flawed heroes and heroines, sticking them in the same room, and watching sparks fly.
And when she’s not writing? Amelia enjoys being a mom to her two senile, but lovable cats, and living out life in the idyllic Midwest with her very own Prince Charming.
Connect with Amelia!
ameliarowebooks
www.ameliarowe.com
Acknowledgments
It takes more than one person and tens of thousands of words to write a book. Along this journey, I’ve been blessed with endless guidance, support, mentoring, and patience. This book could not have been written without anyone I encountered along the way.
I couldn’t have written this book without my partner in crime and life. I only made it to the end thanks to his encouragement, cooking skills, and tireless, unwavering love.
Of course, to all of the friends and family who offered a listening ear, checked in on me if I went dark for too long, and cheered me on when I questioned my own sanity.
Thank you to everyone at Sterling & Stone for providing the structure, inspiration, and community I needed to believe that I could achieve this goal.
Thank you to the mentors I’ve had throughout life, who taught me what it meant to pursue a passionate life, but especially to Mr. M and Josh who challenged me to keep going when it seemed easier to give up.
To my editor Serena Clarke, who exercised extreme understanding and thoughtfulness when she approached this project. This book would not have half the depth or polish that it does without her magic touch.
And thank you to the entire team at Deranged Doctor Design for taking my sparse vision, honing it, and turning it into a beautiful piece of art.
It’s impossible to define the depths of my appreciation for all of you, but I will never stop trying.