by Tia Siren
Derek stirred first against me. “We better get up before Owen does,” he said, and he slipped away from me a second later, his demeanor changing completely.
The mattress dipped as he sat down on the edge, rubbing a hand through his hair. I resisted the urge to reach out and touch him again. Something about his shift in persona warned me that touching was out of the question now. His spine was stiff as he turned to look at me with conflicted eyes.
“We probably shouldn’t have done that,” he said quietly.
My throat clenched. I didn’t expect Derek to be the romantic type of guy who liked to snuggle after sex, but the abrupt change in his attitude stung more than I cared to admit. This was the worst time to start regretting what had happened.
I sat up, completely naked and still sweaty. The warm summer air washed over me in a welcoming breeze.
“Please don’t start regretting it,” I said. “It’s done and over with. There’s no—”
“I never said it was because I regretted it,” Derek interjected smoothly. “I meant that I know I’m not going to be able to stop now that I’ve had you. That’s what I meant.”
He turned to give me a pointed look. My cheeks flushed when I realized he didn’t regret it. He just wanted me even more. The thought felt thrilling and a bit dangerous at the same time. The last time—
I shut that thought down before it could bloom. Leon isn’t here. Leon isn’t a part of this.
“Oh,” I murmured softly, and I reached forward to touch his shoulder gently. “That’s not a bad thing. I won’t complain.”
I felt the tension in Derek’s shoulders lessen under my fingers. He reached up to touch them lightly before letting his hand drop.
“I have my son to think about,” he said.
My heart jerked just thinking about Owen’s crestfallen face when he had stumbled upon us kissing. He truly had no idea why things were the way they were, but he felt it more than his parents. I only could imagine how traumatized he was over being split between his parents.
“We’ll think of something,” I said. “I’m not looking for a huge commitment either, you know. I just got out of a shitty relationship, and I need some time to figure things out too.”
“What do you suggest then?”
I chewed on my bottom lip in contemplation for a bit. “Maybe we could keep it quiet until we figure things out?”
Derek was quiet while he thought over the suggestion. He eventually turned around to face me in the pale morning light. It gave me another full-frontal view of how sinfully built he was, from his flat stomach and toned muscles to those tattoos in various places.
“That’s not a bad idea if you’re fine with it,” he said.
“No problems with it,” I said, shrugging absently. “So, we have a deal then? Keep it on the down low basically?”
Derek’s lips curved up in amusement. He reached forward to cup my cheek tenderly in the palm of his hand. One of his thumbs brushed against my cheekbone.
“I don’t know how well this will work, but I already know that I won’t ever want it to stop. That’s why I resisted for so long.”
I leaned into the palm of his hand, savoring his calloused skin against mine.
“Me too,” I whispered. “Me too.”
Chapter Fourteen
Derek
Someone knocking on my front door woke me from another series of pleasant dreams that involved Jenna. I lifted my head from the pillow to gaze at the alarm clock next to the bed stand. 2:17 p.m. A few hours of sleep wasn’t too bad considering I’d had a hell of a time trying to get to sleep with Jenna’s sweet scent clinging to my sheets, my pillows, and even my own skin.
The knocking resumed. Irritation swept through me.
Kicking back the light cotton blanket, I made my way down to the front door to find Martha standing on the front porch with a packet of flyers in her arm. I gritted my teeth to keep my irritation in check when she shot me a cheerful smile.
“Our annual neighborhood barbecue is this Saturday evening,” Martha said, extending a flyer to me. “Please bring Owen. I bet he’d like to play with all the neighborhood kids for a little bit.”
“We probably won’t—”
Martha stomped her foot. “Don’t be the Grinch on the block, Derek.” She glared at me, flourishing the flyer. “Just come to the damn thing. Everyone is always nice to you, so it’d be nice to see you there.”
“Fine,” I said, sighing as I took the flyer. “We’ll be there then.”
“Great!” she exclaimed in that cheerful voice. “This flyer has two admissions as well. You can bring a date.”
I sensed the hook for information even though it was subtle. There was no doubt in my mind that Martha wanted to know what was going on between Jenna and me. I folded up the flyer to shove it into my pocket.
“Just Owen and I will be there,” I replied, and I started to shut the door. “Excuse me. I have to take a shower before picking up my son.”
“Hold on.” Martha slammed her palm into the door to keep it from closing. “How is everything going between you and Jenna?”
“Everything is fine.”
“Just fine? There is something going on between you two. I see it.”
Martha was the gossip queen among the other women in the neighborhood. I was sure there were rumors flying around, but I didn’t care to indulge in them. I had nothing personal against Martha besides that the woman was just too damn nosey sometimes.
“Nothing is going on,” I said as calmly as possible. “She babysits Owen for me. I help her out around the house. That’s all that is happening.”
“Before you wouldn’t let anyone besides Hayley and myself watch Owen,” Martha said, narrowing her eyes at me. “There are a few single women on this street who tried for a long time to get your attention. All of a sudden, you’re comfortable with Jenna. You can’t blame me for being curious.”
I stared at Martha as she looked at me without batting an eyelash. There was something else that Martha wasn’t saying. I picked up on the protective tones in her voice when she spoke of Jenna.
“You know about Jenna’s past,” I said. “Don’t you?”
Martha gave a sharp nod.
“I’ve been where she’s at,” she said, all cheeriness gone. “She’s vulnerable to getting involved with men who aren’t good for her. She’s so young, and she has her whole life ahead of her.”
“I agree with what you're saying. That’s why I’m telling you that nothing is going on.”
“If you’re sure,” Martha said slowly. “Not that I’m implying you aren’t a good man. I just don’t think you two would be a good fit.”
“You’re the one who set this whole thing up,” I said wryly. “You suggested that she come over and babysit.”
Martha dropped her gaze guiltily. “I was thinking about Owen at the time. I didn’t think anything else of it.”
“Right,” I said, rolling my eyes. “You weren’t trying to play matchmaker then?”
“Of course not.” Martha looked mildly offended at that. “I wouldn’t do something like that, because I know how you feel about that sort of thing from past experiences.”
A headache pounded in my head. I wanted nothing more than to shut the door, retreat to the shower, and spend some time with Owen to keep myself distracted from the recent turn of events with Jenna.
“I need a shower, Martha,” I said, not containing my annoyance any longer. “She’s an adult. I’m an adult. If something were going on, it’s none of your business to ask about it.”
“I’m just looking out for her is all,” Martha said defensively. “I wasn’t trying to pry. I just don’t want to see that girl get hurt more. She’s beautiful and young. Her mother is concerned that she won’t complete college.”
“And that has to do with me?” I questioned, arching an eyebrow at her. “Jenna is capable of making decision on her own good will. I don’t even understand why you’re here besides to pester me.”
“I’m not pestering.” She sniffed indelicately. “I’m inviting you to the barbecue. That’s all I’m doing.”
I rolled my eyes in exasperation. “Thanks for the invitation then. I’ll see you Saturday evening.”
“I better see you there.”
A threat dripped off those words, but coming from a petite housewife like Martha made it comical. The only thing she could do was annoy the hell out of me every time we crossed paths. I shut the front door before anything else could be said and headed upstairs for a quick shower. It turned into a steamy one when my mind wandered back to what had happened earlier that morning.
This was what I had feared. I looked down through the steam at the hardness between my legs. I couldn’t figure out what it was about Jenna that brought me in, but now I couldn’t resist it. I had to have her again.
I stepped under the cold water to cool my heated body down. It only dulled the desire to an almost painful ache that I couldn’t stand no matter how much I tried to ignore it. It persisted even after I got Owen home, and when I got up from the couch once again, Owen turned to look at me strangely.
“What is wrong with you, Dad?” he asked. “You keep pausing the game and getting up.”
“I know,” I said, shrugging the tension out of my shoulders. “I’m sorry, buddy. Why don’t you play alone while I wait for Jenna? She should be here any minute now.”
“Fine,” Owen said, visibly relieved at that. “I can beat these levels faster without you anyway.”
He stuck his tongue out before turning around to resume the game. I watched his little fingers work the controller expertly until the front door opened. Jenna stepped inside with a small and bashful smile. My breath caught in my throat at the sight of her in a loose navy romper, her long hair braided loosely. She set her backpack on the ground next to the door.
“Hi,” she said, tucking an errant piece of hair behind her ear. “Is Owen already sucked into his game?”
“I got him started early after he came home with an A+ on his test,” I said. “You shouldn’t have a problem with him tonight.”
Jenna took a step toward me. “I never do,” she murmured. She popped up on her tiptoes to kiss me.
She tasted of iced tea and sugar when I kissed her back. I didn’t care about anything at that moment besides the softness of Jenna’s lips against mine and how warm her waist felt through the cotton fabric of her romper. We pulled back quickly before things escalated. I still needed to have a talk with Owen.
“There’s money on the table to order whatever you two want to eat,” I said, reluctantly letting go of her. “I have to get going to work. I’ll try to be back early if I can…”
Jenna’s lips curved up into a smile when I gave her a heated look.
“I’ll wait up for you,” she said.
I kissed Owen on the head good-bye before leaving. What hope I had to get home early, though, faded away the moment I walked into the percent to find SWAT dressed and ready to go.
“We got a hit on the BigBoy193 you’ve been tracking,” Marcus informed me, adjusting the strap of his bulletproof vest. “He’s in the general area tonight. We’re going to stake him out until we get a positive hit.”
I nodded. “I’m coming with all of you.”
Five hours later, I returned to my cubicle with a relieved sigh. BigBoy193 was a 42-year-old man from Utah with a wife and kids. It never ceased to amaze me how people worked sometimes, how they used trafficking as a way of paying for their family’s needs. I rubbed at the back of my neck while I scrolled through my emails before glancing at the time. By the time I finished the reports, it’d be nearly 5:30 a.m. The prospect of having some alone time with Jenna before I got Owen off to school seemed dim.
And my body ached horribly thinking of it.
I paused halfway through filling out the police reports. Leon Mills. My conversation with Martha replayed in my mind. I typed the name into the system to pull up his picture. Pretty boy. That was all I could think about his perfectly styled blond hair, clean-shaven jaw, and sharp blue eyes. He was smirking in the mugshot, as though he thought everything were a joke.
My blood boiled. I clicked out before I was tempted to read the police report attached to him. They still had an ongoing case, which meant Leon still had court to argue against the domestic violence charges. The court date was in two weeks.
Rubbing at my face in exhaustion, I realized with a sinking gut that what Martha had said was true. Jenna was vulnerable and in danger at this time. Seeing Leon Mills’s picture had solidified it all in my mind.
I had also taken advantage of the situation, whether or not Jenna was aware of it. There was no doubt she was acting out of defiance, and I had caved into the temptation of it all.
I took the long way back home after clocking out for the morning. I pulled up the driveway right as dawn light spilled into the sky. Owen opened the front door as I walked up the pathway.
“Morning, Dad!” he said cheerfully. “Jenna made me waffles for breakfast this morning.”
I forced a smile at that. “Great.” I scanned his combed hair and fresh clothes. “I see you are ready to go to school too.”
“Yes.” He leaned in to hug me around the legs quickly before peering up at me. “I really like Jenna, Dad. I’ve decided that I like her.”
“I’m glad that you do, Son,” I said tightly. “Go grab your backpack. We have to get going.”
Jenna appeared in the hallway with a smile when I closed the front door. She smoothed Owen’s hair fondly when he darted by her to go back upstairs. A frown tugged at her lips when she caught sight of my expression.
“Are you okay?” she asked timidly. “Was it a bad night, or—”
“Martha came to talk to me today,” I said, and Jenna’s face immediately tightened into a suspicious scowl. “She mentioned something that I think she’s right about, and I’ve thought about it too.”
Jenna crossed her arms over her chest. The smell of her shampoo and fresh soap filled the hallway. She gazed at me intently, waiting for me to continue.
“You’re vulnerable right now with everything that happened to you,” I said. “I thought about it after looking at his court date, which is coming up in two weeks. We—”
“You looked up Leon?”
Her sharp question echoed in the hallway. Anger glittered in Jenna’s eyes as she stared at me with an indescribable expression.
“Yes, I did,” I said. I refused to look away from her. “What happened the other morning shouldn’t have happened.” Tears filled Jenna’s eyes, but I continued. “I’m sorry that I took advantage of the situation. I’m older than you, and I shouldn’t have done it.”
“I’m not a child,” Jenna said, her voice trembling with emotions. “Not everything is about Leon. I don’t know why people keep making it about him. I refuse to regret anything that I do right now.”
“That’s my point. You’re being defiant.”
“Damn straight I am!” she suddenly shouted, wincing when her voice echoed in the hallway. “I am trying to move on with my life. I thought you were moving on with yours, but you’re just being a coward.”
Indignant anger shot through me. “How am I being a coward?”
“Because you think you’re being noble about it, but you’re just afraid to get hurt again because of your past too.” She tilted her chin to look me directly in the eye. “Admit it.”
“That’s not what it is,” I said sharply. “You’re young, Jenna. I’ve already been through a lot in my life. You need to finish college. You need to do fun things again. You can’t be complete coming over here every single night to babysit Owen.”
“Dad!” Owen yelled from his room. “I can’t find my hat. Can you help me?”
I started in the direction of the stairs. Jenna stood rooted in the middle of the hallway as I passed by her, clenching my fists to keep myself from reaching out to touch her.
“I don’t believe you,” she said. “I do
n’t think you even believe yourself.”
“You’re probably right about that,” I said, and I turned to look at her. “It still doesn’t change my mind though. What happened yesterday can’t happen again. That’s it.”
Jenna’s lips thinned into a determined line. “We’ll see about that.”
She turned on her heel before I could say anything else. The door slammed shut a second later, leaving me alone in the dim light of the morning. I sighed inwardly in dread. I had to give it to Jenna. Despite everything she had been through, she was still determined to prove me wrong, and she probably would.
Chapter Fifteen
Jenna
“You slept with him?!”
I grimaced at my mother’s exclamation through the phone. “Just one time. I just thought—”
“Jenna Rose Collins. I raised you better than to run into some strange man’s bed. What were you thinking?”
“I wasn’t,” I said. “It just happened. Neither one of us planned it out.”
The smell of mayonnaise hit me hard as I scooped one cup of it into the cooked macaroni salad I planned to take for the barbecue.
“I didn’t call to talk about this,” I said, stirring the mayonnaise in. “I just wanted a recipe from you is all.”
“Then why did you tell me about what happened?”
“I have no idea,” I groaned out. It had clearly been a mistake to confide in my mother about things like this. “I just needed someone to talk to about it.”
“Well, he does have a point about all of this,” Anna said. “You should be concentrating on finishing your degree rather than babysitting for him. There needs to be a balance in your life.”
“My life is balanced though. What does everyone want from me?”
“It’s not what people want from you. It’s what you want from your life. That’s all I’m saying. That’s what everyone is saying to you. You just don’t want to listen.”
“I am listening though,” I said, running a hand through my hair in aggravation. “No one is listening to me. That’s the problem.”