by Tia Siren
Fuck! I pushed my chair back and stood up. “No,” I lied in a believable tone. “I don’t think about fucking you.” I walked towards the massive window behind my desk and ran a hand through my hair. “You seduced me, Amelia, and I feel for it, but I won’t fall for it again.”
“A man is only enticed by a woman who truly beguiles him,” she whispered, her eyes never leaving mine. “You wanted me just as badly as I wanted you.”
“I’m not saying I didn’t. You’re beautiful and sexy, but I didn’t know—”
“Knowing that I was his daughter wouldn’t change how attracted you were to me,” Amelia interrupted. She turned around and walked over to leather couch at the far end of the room to gather her things. I watched her in silence as she made her way to my office door and glanced over her shoulder at me. “I hope you change your mind, Kellan. I promise it would be worth it.”
Amelia’s words hung in the air as she walked out of my office. Once I was alone, I collapsed back in my chair and took several breaths.
In all my years I had never met a woman who got under my skin and caused my body to react the way it did around Amelia. She made me feel like a moth drawn to a flame, ready to throw everything to shit and burn with her. Every inch of me wanted nothing more than to chase after her and surrender to her charms. I wanted to make her mine again, consequences be damned. But I was twice her age, and she was my best friend’s daughter, there was no scenario where following my urges would end well.
After a few moments of breathing and reminding myself who I was, I regained composure and devoted my energy to my work. For the sake of my company and everything I had worked so hard to accomplish, I vowed that Amelia would not get what she wanted from me, no matter how badly I wanted to give in to her.
Chapter Four
New York Fashion Week passed as quickly as it came. I was proud that our agency had had the largest booking rate out of all our competitors. Still, a lot of the girls were left disappointed—which is part of the job, I guess.
With Alex in Milan, I had to handle the stress of it all almost entirely alone. It was weeks of long days sitting through meetings and even longer nights negotiating contracts, and then there was the actual week of the events, which was even busier with me jumping from show to show to make sure the girls were there and doing what they were supposed to do.
The little rest I was able to get was thanks to Amelia, who surprised me more than anyone had in a long time. She was smart, efficient and had undoubtedly inherited her father’s work ethic, which earned her the respect and admiration of our entire team as well as mine. We worked amazingly well together and, with each passing day, I found myself wanting to talk and get to know her better. Whenever that desire hit me, however, I would do my best to push it away.
I was bluntly aware that I couldn’t be trusted around Amelia. Everything about her enticed me. The bold way she flirted with me made my insides quiver, the way her skirt danced around her legs as she walked made my mouth water and the sweet scent of her perfume drove me to edge of sanity. She was like a siren calling me to my demise, which was why I was so wary when I walked out of my office late on a Friday night and saw that the only other lit room was hers.
Unbidden, thoughts of all the sexy fun we could have together in the empty office filled my mind. I imaged myself doing unspeakable things to her in various locations of the office, and the pleasure those thoughts brought me were enough to knock me back to reality. She was Alex’s daughter and, therefore, completely off limits.
Desperate to put as much distance between me and Amelia as possible, I pressed the elevator call button with unnecessary force and focused my thoughts on what kind of takeout I’d order once I arrived home. I was debating between pizza and Thai food when I heard a mixture of gagging sounds and clicking heels coming from the barely lit corridor to my left. I turned to look at what was happening just in time to see Amelia run from her office to the bathroom. With a furrowed brow, I walked over to investigate.
Once I reached the door, I knocked, but no answer came. I tried to open it but it was locked, so I just stood there, in silence, listening to the awful sounds of a person puking. Worry deepened the lines between my eyes as I impatiently tapped my foot on the floor. Moments later, I heard the toilet being flushed, water running from the faucet and steps approaching the door.
I straightened my back just as the door swung open. “Are you okay?” I asked immediately.
“Jesus, Kellan,” Amelia muttered and brought a hand to her chest. “You scared me half to death.”
She closed her eyes and took deep breaths to calm herself down. The worry I felt grew as I ran my eyes over her. She was always so well kept, yet, at that moment, she looked like a freaking mess. Dark circles surrounded her beautiful eyes, her hair was messy, and her skin had a light green hue. My chest ached at seeing her like that.
“I didn’t mean to scare you. I was leaving, and I saw you,” I attempted to explain. Then, I ran a hand through my hair and took a breath, “Are you alright?”
“Of course,” she replied with a fake-ass smile as she walked past me and headed towards her office.
Unconvinced by her words, I followed behind her. My confusion grew when instead of gathering her things to go home, she simply sat behind the desk and went back to work.
“You should go home, Amelia. You don’t look well,” I commanded.
Amelia looked up from her papers and rolled her eyes at me. “I am fine, Kellan,” she told me in a voice completely devoid of her usual flirtatious tone.
Completely exasperated, I blurted out, “If you were fine, you wouldn’t look as awful as you do.” Realizing how harsh my words were, I quickly added, “and you didn’t sound fine in the bathroom.”
Amelia sighed a heavy breath and dropped her pen. Knowing her fiery personality, I watched her and waited for the blunt come back I knew would come. However, she just closed her eyes and hung her head. It was evident that something was eating at her, I could see it written on her face.
“Amelia, what is wrong?” I pressed.
She looked up at me with the pain of hell in her eyes and whispered something I couldn’t quite catch. I stepped a little closer, furrowing my brows with confusion. I asked her to repeat and, unfortunately, she did.
“Kellan, I’m pregnant with your baby.”
Chapter Five
Amelia
Puns aside, there was an impregnated silence inside Kellan’s car. I had no idea where we were going but the way the muscles of his jaw popped told me that I wasn’t supposed to ask, so I kept quiet and stared out of the window.
After about half an hour of that awful silence, the car stopped in front of a tall building with a doorman. Kellan stepped out and started walking, figuring that this was our destination I followed him. We walked through a pair of glass doors and entered a lobby of modern opulence. The floor was made of gray marble, and there was a large chandelier hanging in the center. I knew he was a billionaire, but, for some reason, I was surprised that he lived in a place with such a prestigious first impression.
“You sure know how to impress the ladies,” I joked as we waited for the elevator.
Kellan either didn’t hear or flat out ignored me, either way, the uncomfortable silence became even worse as we stepped into the elevator. I could tell by his pacing that the news I had delivered back at the office was starting to sink in. Panic shone in his eyes and, for the first time, I felt like we were one the same boat.
By the time the elevator came to a stop at the penthouse, my anxiety was at a new high. I felt like I could literally climb the walls of his fancy apartment as I followed him inside and watched as he made it straight for his booze collection. Unable to take it anymore, I said, “Kellan, it’s been half an hour. We have to talk.”
Kellan narrowed his eyes at me and opened—with unnecessary force—a bottle of scotch. He poured himself what I could only assume was a quadruple shot and downed it in one gulp. Annoyed by his behavi
or, I crossed my arms over my chest and stared back at him.
He filled his glass again and leaned against the table. Finally, Kellan’s eyes found mine but still he refused to speak. The intense emotion in his gaze was something I couldn’t comprehend. It was a mixture of fear and anger, and though I understood both emotions separately, combined under these circumstances, they were quite unsettling.
A part of me wanted to go over and comfort him, but an even bigger part of me wanted to keep my distance. I knew that this painful silence was nothing more than a dreadful calm before a storm. Based on the size of this calm, the storm was going to be a nasty one, and I wanted to be as far away as possible when it hit.
When five more long minutes went by without a single word, my body felt like it would explode with anxiety. It was so unfair that he could calm himself with booze and I had to make do with pacing—I hated pacing. However, walking from side to side in his living room allowed me to think and try to understand what was happening inside Kellan’s mind.
All I knew from him was based on what my father had told me, which honestly wasn’t much. However, I did know that he had never had a serious relationship and that he didn’t keep in touch with his family. It was evident that both things were somehow connected to each other and to his behavior now.
In another attempt to start a conversation and, hopefully, appease his mind, I said, “I’m not asking for a relationship, I promise.”
Kellan chuckled sarcastically and downed the remaining contents of his tumbler. Without even looking at me, he reached for the bottle again. It was then that I snapped. This was undoubtedly the most important moment of both our lives and I refused to discuss it with a drunk.
I walked over and took the bottle from him. Looking him in his eyes, I barked, “Stop acting like a teenager and talk to me.”
Fire burned in his eyes as he turned his gaze back to me. “Have you told your parents?”
The intensity and anger in his voice made me tremble. “N-no, I haven’t,” I stuttered.
“Good, don’t.” I frowned at his reply, but Kellan ignored my expression and reached for a different bottle of alcohol. “Just so we’re clear, I’m not going to allow your stupidity to cost me my best friend, my company, my job or anything else I care about. You’re the one who made this mess for yourself so you’ll be the one cleaning it.”
I had always thought that it was a euphemism when people said that words can cut like knives, but in that exact moment, I found out it wasn’t. The bitterness and coldness in his words pierced my heart like a sword. After all of my failed attempts at getting him naked again, I had no delusions that he would be happy about my pregnancy and willing to marry me, but I also didn’t expect him to be such a jerk about it. Suddenly, I was Hulk-level angry.
“I made this mess?” I asked incredulously. “I’m sorry, but did I grow a penis and fucked myself in that bathroom? No, I didn’t. You were just as involved in this baby making as I was,” I snapped with tears blurring my vision.
“Oh, please,” he said, rolling his eyes, “you were begging for it the entire show. Opening your legs and pushing your tits out. What was I supposed to do? Ignore the girl who obviously wants to get laid?”
I raised a brow. “No, but maybe, as a guy who obviously doesn’t want a child popping around, you should put on a freaking condom.”
He rolled his eyes and refilled his drink. I looked at the amber liquid and decided I would gladly give a limb for a sip. I hated being pregnant almost as much as I was starting to hate this overreacting jerk.
“Or maybe, you should be on freaking birth control before seducing a man twice your age.”
Once again, his words hurt me and I hated that they did. I also hated myself for the childish infatuation I had for this man. I hated that it had made me stupid enough to lose my virginity in a public bathroom, with a man who clearly didn’t care about me or the child we had created together.
Taking large, calming breaths, I watched as Kellan collapsed onto his couch and crossed his ankle over his knee. Tears welled in my eyes as I continued in a calmer tone, “You’re right, but so am I. We both should have taken precautions, but we didn’t and now we need to figure out what to do, together.”
“Fuck that!” he spit back after another long sip of whiskey. “You’re the one carrying it, it’s your problem. If you want money for an abortion I’ll give it to you, I’ll even drive you to the clinic myself. Aside from that, I want nothing to do with it.”
Being sucker punched in the gut, that’s how his words felt like. I wanted to scream and punch him in the face and break all the expensive looking things in his apartment, but instead, I just cried. I wasn’t ready to be a single mother, but I also wasn’t willing to kill the little baby growing inside of me.
Kellan just sat on his stupid couch, staring at the tears that ran down my cheeks with an expressionless mask on his face. Tired and sick of humiliating myself in front of this man, I wiped the tears away and grew a bit taller in my spine as I turned to walk away.
I was almost at the elevator when his voice sounded behind me again. “What are you going to tell your father?”
“Whatever the hell I want,” I replied as I pressed the call button. “But don’t worry, I won’t involve you. I’m not going to allow my child to grow up knowing that they were fathered by a selfish, pathetic middle-aged man who’s too weak to own up to his actions.”
My words still hung in the air when the elevator arrived at Kellan’s floor. I stepped into the metal cage and looked back at the greatest disappointment of my life. He stared back at me with a mixture of emotions shining in his eyes, but I didn’t have the energy or the desire to decipher them.
I held the storm of tears that were building inside my chest until I was out of his building and in a cab, riding home. I folded my arms around my belly. Despite being sadder and lonelier than I had ever been before, I was glad that at least I had this little being growing inside of me to keep me company. It was hard to explain, but somehow I knew that whatever the challenges ahead, I’d be alright as long as my baby was okay.
Chapter Six
Kellan
Three Months Later . . .
Uneasy wasn’t a word accurate enough but, as I parked my car under the reddening canopy of a three, I decided it was the closest I would get to expressing how I felt. Months had passed since Amelia walked out of my apartment and, as it was to be expected, a lot had changed.
Despite still having an office just down the hall from mine, Amelia and I barely saw each other. Soon after that dreaded night, she asked to be transferred to the production department under the guise that it was her real passion. I knew as well as she did that she was merely running away from the pain and awkwardness between us. However, regardless of her reasons, she seemed to be happy and thriving in her new position.
As for me, well . . . I was miserable in every aspect of my life.
Try as I might, I was unable to flush her words out of my brain. I had tried everything from drinking until I was practically comatose, to fucking random models into oblivion, to working even longer and harder than I normally did, but nothing helped. I still saw the disappointment in her eyes every time I walked in or out of my apartment and the selfish and pathetic middle-aged man who was too much of a coward to do the right thing by his child every time I looked in the mirror. Those things were constant reminders that I was becoming a deadbeat just like my father. That knowledge only served to fuel my self-loathing to the point where I hated myself almost as much as I hated him.
On top of that, I missed Amelia. It was strange to admit it, especially after the way I had behaved that night, but I did. I missed talking and working with her, I even missed her shameless flirting. In the few weeks we had interacted she had brought light and color to my existence, and now that I was back to my usual gray life I felt cold and empty. However, she and her child deserved better than a damaged man who was unable to love.
Desperate to escape m
y thoughts, I opened the door and stepped out my car.
Crisp fall air filled my lungs as I walked toward the studio where our newest model was having her first photo shoot. It had been too long since I had visited a shoot and though it wasn’t my favorite part of the job, at the moment, it was a welcome distraction.
As soon as I stepped into the studio, my lips curled up in my usual smile. For the next few minutes, I walked around the chaotic set greeting the models and the production staff. As per usual, they didn’t seem to mind that I had no idea what their names were. They just smiled back at me and kissed my ass in the same tiresome way most people did.
After a while of talking nonsense with people I didn’t care about, I set out to look for the photographer, who was a good friend of mine. That’s when a familiar face at the dressing area caught my eye.
My heart raced as I took Amelia in. She looked serious and exhausted as she browsed through racks of clothes. Her figure hadn’t changed much, but I could make out the slight curve of her baby bump peeking through her thick jacket. Out of their own accord, my lips curled up into a smile at the sight, but it quickly vanished as a thin, middle-aged woman approached her.
I watched in silence as the woman pursed her lips and looked over the outfits Amelia had selected with disdain in her eyes. My own mouth tightened as I saw her shake her head and pick up a pair of denim pants.
“This is all wrong,” the harpy barked. “What were you thinking? This is a high fashion shoot.”
The woman’s voice echoed through the studio as she continued to belittle Amelia. I was proud of her for keeping a leveled head and not use her father as a way to shut the woman up. It showed a level of maturity and professionalism I couldn’t find in myself at that moment.
“Excuse me,” I called as I made my way toward them. “Is there an issue here?”