by Allen Zadoff
If Tanya is telling the truth, that means my father is alive. And The Program has him.
It takes everything I have to center myself, remove any trace of upset from my face and voice.
Then I answer the phone.
MOTHER LOOKS OUT AT ME FROM THE IPHONE SCREEN.
“It’s been too long since we’ve seen each other,” Mother says.
Her voice is uncharacteristically warm.
“We spoke yesterday, Mother. Don’t you remember?”
“Of course I do. I meant since I’ve seen you in person, Zach.”
The comment surprises me. We do not see each other in person anymore. I haven’t been in the same space as her since graduation nearly five years ago.
“No more missions. I want you to come home,” Mother says.
I feel the muscles in my face tense.
Mother has thrown communication protocols out the window. She’s used my name, she’s talking about real issues. This is unprecedented.
I keep my breathing steady, return my attention to the phone.
“Why now?” I say.
“You’ve got a birthday coming up,” Mother says.
“Do I?”
“Now you’re the one who doesn’t remember.”
I break protocol and say, “Birthdays are remnants of a life that no longer exists. It’s you who taught me that while I was training.”
“At the time, I was trying to protect you.”
“And now?”
“Nothing has changed. I’m still trying to protect you,” she says.
My senses are on high alert, warning signals buzzing in my head.
“I don’t need hand-holding,” I say.
“Nobody said you did. But even soldiers get leave. They relax and recuperate before heading back into battle.”
It’s true. Nobody can fight forever.
“Come home,” Mother says. “We’ll celebrate your birthday together.”
Two possibilities that I can see:
One, Mother knows exactly what happened at the holding house. She knows I was there, and she may know where I am now. If that’s the case, this is a trap.
Two, Mother suspects but doesn’t know. This offer is meant to bring me close so she can find out the truth.
Then a third possibility occurs to me. What if the offer is legit?
“What do you say?” Mother asks.
I have to make a choice.
A month ago I wanted this, so I will want it now.
“A birthday party? Sounds like fun,” I say.
“Anything you want for a gift?”
“Cash is always nice.”
Mother smiles and her energy lightens.
“I’ll see what I can do,” she says.
I glance at Tanya. She nods, silently urging me on.
Mother says, “I’m pinging your phone with a meet-up location. We will be there at dusk to pick you up.”
“You mean tonight?”
“You should be able to get to the location with time to spare. The instructions will be encoded in the ping.”
“Simple,” I say.
“Zach, I wasn’t lying when I said you were my favorite. Nobody has accomplished the things you have, and in such a short period of time. You are very special.”
I smile, acknowledging the compliment.
“I’ll see you soon, Mom.”
“You will,” she says, and the call ends.
A moment later the ping arrives. I decode it, and a tag appears in a rural area of Pennsylvania near the Buchanan State Forest. That’s where the pickup will happen.
“When and where?” Tanya says.
“A few hours from now in Pennsylvania.”
“Are you going to do it?” Howard says.
“You have to do it,” Tanya says. “If you want to find your real father.”
Is it a trap?
I think back to what Mike said in the coffee shop. The Program is not familiar with insubordination. I see now that he was telling the truth. The Program is confused about me, and they don’t yet know if there’s a connection between Howard and me.
“Can you get there in time?” Howard says.
“If I hurry. Mother thinks I’m coming from Columbus, Ohio. We’re about the same distance from the pickup point, just in the opposite direction.”
I look at Tanya.
What am I going to do about her?
“Zach, can I talk to you for a minute alone?” Howard says.
“Now? Are you serious?”
“It’s important,” he says.
I motion for Howard to come closer to me. I watch Tanya over his shoulder, looking for any sign of movement toward us.
“What about Tanya?” he whispers.
“You can’t trust anything she’s said to you. She’s trained to play a role.”
“What role is she playing right now?” he says.
I glance back at her.
“I don’t know. That’s what troubles me.”
“If she wanted to stop us, she could have done it already. Plus, she saved me from Silberstein. Don’t forget that.”
“Do you really think Silberstein was going to shoot you?”
“It seemed like it. He was freaking out, waving the gun around, shouting for me to get away from the computer.”
Howard seems convinced of what he saw.
“Listen, Howard, I know you like her—”
“You like her, too,” he says.
I pause, frustrated.
“I want you to consider something,” I say. “When the two of you met, it was under extreme duress. There’s a phenomenon called trauma bonding—”
“Shut up,” he says, his face red with anger.
“You’ve been traumatized,” I say. “I think it’s affecting your judgment.”
“What about you? You’ve been traumatized, too. Have you thought about that?”
“I’m not traumatized.”
“You killed Lee and his sister not too long ago. You killed Samara in New York. How many bodies were there before I met you?”
The faces of my targets appear in my mind, flipping over like playing cards.
“It’s my job,” I say. “I’m trained to deal with these things. They don’t bother me.”
Howard shakes his head. “I don’t believe that,” he says.
The wind picks up, whistling between the Dumpsters. It catches an empty can and sends it rolling across the dirt.
“You have feelings, Zach. I know you do.”
“You’re wrong about that.”
“I don’t think so.”
“You want me to let Tanya go? Is that what this is all about?”
“I want her to come with us. At least until we find out whose side she’s really on.”
“She can kill you.”
“She hasn’t killed me yet.”
I look at Tanya across the parking lot. She’s looking at the ground like someone pretending not to pay attention while her best friends fight.
I think about the possibility of taking her with us. On one hand, it’s absurd. But what is the alternative? If I leave her here, she can give us away to The Program.
Howard may be right. It’s safer to have her with us.
“We’re leaving now,” I say.
“We?” Tanya says. She looks at me expectantly.
“Together,” I say.
Howard smiles. “This is awesome,” he says.
Tanya smiles, too. “Thank you, Zach.”
“We have to get to the pickup point before sundown,” I say. “No time for a celebration.”
“We should ditch this Accord,” Howard says. He looks around the parking lot, his gaze falling on a little Civic that’s been tricked out, double exhausts poking out the back.
“How about that one?” he says.
“I think you like Japanese cars,” Tanya says.
“His girlfriend’s Japanese,” I say.
Howard blushes.
Then we steal the
car.
FIVE HOURS IS A LONG TIME.
A long time to listen to Howard and Tanya talking in the backseat. A long time to hear Tanya singing along with a country station in a sweet, steady voice.
A long time to think about what I’m doing.
Tanya said my father is alive, a prisoner of The Program. If that’s true, I have to find him and free him.
Maybe Tanya’s right. Instead of moving further from The Program, now is the time to move toward it, to reunite with Mother and play along.
“Did you find anything interesting at the institute?” I ask Howard. “Anything that might give me some insight into where they’re keeping my father?”
Howard says, “The computer in Silberstein’s lab, it’s what’s known as a ‘thin client.’ It’s basically just a monitor with access to the server where the real data is kept.”
“Like a window of sorts?”
“More like a tunnel. But you get the idea. The security setup is similar to the one I found before, but the data sets are different.”
“Different how?”
“The ones I found in New Hampshire were military operations, strategic plans. The stuff at the institute is scientific research, more technical.”
“I’m not following you. Was Silberstein working for The Program?”
“Definitely. But I think things are compartmentalized. He’s walled off from accessing the military information.”
“Chinese boxes,” Tanya says. “Like I told you.”
Howard reaches into his pocket and removes the thumb drive. “The rest of it is here. I need a computer and several hours to sort through it all.”
“We don’t have either of those things.”
I check the car clock.
“I’m running out of time, Howard. And so are you.”
He slumps back in the seat, defeated.
I drive on.
By the time we arrive in southern Pennsylvania, there’s less than an hour to spare before sunset.
I steal a glance into the backseat. Tanya and Howard have fallen asleep. I look at Tanya’s face, and I think about what’s going to happen in a few minutes. I’ll get on a helicopter, and she’ll be alone with Howard.…
I stop on the side of a road about five miles from the pickup point. The motion of the car rocks them awake.
“Are we there?” Howard says.
“Not quite yet,” I say. “I have to talk to Tanya.”
“Not again,” Howard says.
Tanya and I get out and stand in front of the car.
“You’re not taking me the rest of the way?” she asks.
“No.”
“I think you’re making a mistake, Zach. Let me stay with Howard while you go into The Program. I’ll keep him safe, and we’ll both be waiting for you when you come out.”
There’s no guarantee that I’ll make it out. But I don’t broach that subject with her.
I shake my head. “I won’t do it,” I say.
“You’re going to leave him alone out here? That’s crazy.”
“And leaving him with an assassin makes more sense? He’s a lot stronger than he looks. You were with him at the holding house.”
“He’s strong,” she says, “but he’s not trained. He won’t make it out here. Not if The Program is searching for him.”
“Hopefully I’ll get back before they can find him.”
“Hopefully? You’re willing to risk his life on hopefully?”
“I don’t have a lot of options.”
“Are you going to kill me?”
“I’ve thought about it.”
I note a subtle shift in her stance as she prepares herself.
“Why did you help us, Tanya? At the research facility. And after.”
She bites her lower lip.
“Like I told you, I had a mission, and I stayed with Howard because he was my mark. But something happened. I started to get… confused.”
“About what?” I say.
“Why you’d risk your life for Howard when he’s not one of us.”
“He’s my friend.”
“We don’t have friends,” she says.
“I do.”
She stares at me. “How?” she says.
“I deviated from my mission a while ago in New York,” I say. “Things started to unravel after that.”
“What does that mean, you deviated?”
“I asked questions.”
She nods. “I’ve wanted to ask questions, too.”
“Have you ever done it?”
“Not until now.”
She sighs and runs her fingers through her hair.
She says, “I understand if you need to—to get rid of me. Just make it quick. You know how to do that.”
“I’m not going to kill you,” I say. “I’m letting you go.”
“How do you know I won’t call Mother and give you away?”
“I don’t know.”
“You’re letting me go when I can be a danger to you? It doesn’t make sense.”
“Earlier you said I should follow my instincts. I’m following them.”
“You’re taking a big risk.”
“I’m trusting you,” I say.
“That goes against your training,” she says.
“So, we’ve both gone against our training.”
I glance at my phone. Thirty minutes until the pickup, and I still have to drive to the location, get Howard situated, and prepare.
“You’d better get moving,” Tanya says.
“Yeah.”
“Be careful, Zach.”
“Stay safe,” I say.
I want to say more, but I don’t. I turn and walk back to the car. The engine is still running. I slide into the driver’s seat.
“You sent her away,” Howard says, hurt in his voice.
“It was the safest choice.”
“For who?”
I don’t respond. When I look up, Tanya is gone.
I put the car in gear and drive.
I TURN ON MY PROGRAM PHONE.
I disengage the leapfrog app, revealing my true location to The Program. With a pickup minutes away, there’s no need to hide anymore.
I use my phone to locate the nearest city that will have a large police force, instructing Howard to make his way there. He’ll tell the cops he’s a runaway who wants to go home. Once he’s in the care of the police, it will be harder for The Program to make a move on him. Howard listens, nodding to show that he understands. He’s made it this far, and if his luck holds, he may make it all the way home.
By that time I will be back with The Program, and I may be able to affect the outcome from the inside, steer Program assets away from him or bury his story entirely. I won’t know until I get inside and understand the situation from Mother and Father’s perspective.
The helicopter passes over the canopy above us.
“That’s my ride,” I say.
“Good luck,” Howard says.
“You too.”
“Will I see you again?”
“I don’t know,” I say.
He steps in and gives me a hug.
This time I hug him back. Hard.
The sound of the rotors changes. The helicopter is hovering over the pickup zone about half a mile away.
I reach into my pocket, withdraw Silberstein’s pistol, and offer it to Howard. Howard shrinks back when he sees it.
“For protection,” I say.
“I don’t need it.”
“I want you to carry it until you get to a city. Then throw it in a river or drop it through a sewer grate. Before you do, wipe it down with a soft cloth or a corner of your T-shirt.”
“Wipe it for fingerprints,” Howard says. “Just like in the movies.”
“Rub hard. You’re smudging out invisible oils that come from your fingertips.”
“I don’t really know how to fire a gun,” Howard says.
“I showed you once before.”
“But I’m
not good at it.”
“You don’t need to be good. Just point it in the right direction and let the gun do the work.”
It takes a lot more training than that to properly use a weapon, but in this case it will have to do.
I can see the helicopter over the tree line a little ways from here. I start to move toward it.
“Where will they take you?” Howard calls after me.
I don’t know the answer to the question, so I just say, “Home.”
I RUN.
Through the woods, up one hill and down another, the thrum of the rotors growing in volume.
I crest the top of another hill and I see the helicopter landing in a small valley with a hill on one side and a river on the other. Together they form a natural defensive perimeter.
I walk down the hill, approaching the aircraft slowly, my hands held away from my body so it’s clear I’m not carrying a weapon.
I can make out a pilot in the front seat wearing a helmet with a reflective visor that covers most of his face. There’s a copilot in the passenger seat, similarly dressed.
The cargo bay door slides open, and a third man steps out. He wears no helmet.
It’s Father, my commander in The Program. He’s come for me himself.
I lift a hand in greeting. I walk toward the open door.
“Hello, son,” he says, shouting to be heard over the noise of the rotors.
“Another helicopter ride?” I say, referring to our last mission together.
“It’s worked for us before. Why mess with success?”
“You want to drive, or you want me to?” I say.
“This time we’re both passengers. It will give us a chance to talk.”
He extends a hand, pulling me up into the helicopter and sliding the door closed behind us.
The helicopter makes a combat takeoff, rising with maximum power. It’s a dangerous maneuver normally undertaken in battle conditions.
“Combat maneuvers?” I say to Father.
“A precaution,” Father says.
I’m confused for a moment, wondering what risk there could be in a rural area of Pennsylvania.
That’s when I understand.
It’s me they’re worried about. I am the risk.
I look around the cargo bay. Two soldiers in combat gear flank us. They are armed and in shooting position, ready to attack if called upon.
Father leans in close so he can be heard.