And still he kissed her.
Then he did something so shocking and so exciting that it took her breath away.
Lifting her slightly, he brought her down sharply over his manhood, driving it to the hilt into her core.
His kisses drove her wild. Kissing her eyelids, along the sensual curve of her throat, between her breasts and back to her mouth. He braced a hand against the door, his free hand abrading a nipple, then lifting her breast to his mouth, he suckled it.
Repeatedly he thrust into her, her hold on him tightening as her body and soul reached for the pinnacle. Then she felt it. That moment when her entire body tumbled over the precipice, as did Aiden, and together they plunged into a sensual abyss of no return.
It was, as far as Tess was concerned, a wonderful lesson about pleasure she wished could go on forever.
Body spent, she rested against him, the tumultuous flood of desire overwhelming.
Say you love me. Please, say it.
“Sweet, sweet Tess.” With a whispered kiss against her brow, he shifted from her and cradling her in his arms, he carried her to their bed.
Their bed.
Only now Tess reasoned was it theirs. They may have lain together for the last few weeks, but until this moment it had simply been a place of rest. Now it was a place of passion.
Lost in thought, she snuggled up to him, her head on his shoulder, an arm draped across his waist. The moment was warm and comforting, giving her a chance to think.
She loved him.
So what now?
Did she gather her courage and tell him?
No, not yet, Tess decided, quieting the words on the tip of her tongue. Better to protect her heart for a while. Who knew what her rogue of a husband would do next?
“You are staying home today, are you not?” she questioned, surprised by her sudden need to know.
Aiden shifted slightly so he could look at her. “Is it important to you that I stay?”
“I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t.”
“Perhaps you want to keep me in bed.”
A sudden heat stained her cheeks at his truth. “So scandalous.”
“I would have thought you would expect nothing less from a rogue,” he shot back, brow rising.
For a moment Tess simply stared at him. Really looked. His eyes were humor-filled, the color so gloriously changeable. Fine lines were etched at their corners, and his mouth, so grim at times but which could arouse her in so many delicious ways, now curved sensually. She wanted to kiss it. Kiss him.
“You are more than that title, Aiden.”
He shrugged. “Lord Aiden Masters, Earl of Charnley Hall, a captain in the Foot Guards.”
“You’ve forgotten the really important ones,” she said.
“Which are?”
She sat up, not bothering to cover herself, surprised at how comfortable she felt in her nakedness. “Let me see. Firstly there’s loyal.” She reached down and dotted a kiss on his brow.
His brows rose. “What was that for?”
“It’s because you are loyal.”
He reached for her but she pulled away. “Oh, no,” she said wagging a finger at him. “This is my lesson for you. Now,” she said, “where next shall I kiss?”
“There’s more?”
“Oh very definitely. You are adventurous and brave.” And she leaned forward and kissed his left cheek.
“Does that not deserve two kisses, since you offer me two traits?”
“Perhaps I should have added demanding,” she quipped.
“If you had, then I deserve three kisses.”
Tess giggled. “Hmm.” She rested the tip of her finger on her chin, considering his request, when in fact she would kiss him forever if she could. “I think demanding is more a failing, my lord, but perhaps I can offer you more.” And she kissed his other cheek and then added another to the curve of his neck just beneath his ear.
“Too much adoration and my head might get too big.”
“Adoration? Oh, it is not adoration on my part.”
That’s because it’s love.
Aiden flipped her over onto her back and her whoop of surprise echoed around the room. “Aiden?”
“Tess?”
Awareness rushed between them. She wanted him, and his arousal, so potent, proved he wanted her without doubt.
“I feel that your immodesty is not a positive trait.”
“So I’m flawed.”
“Definitely.”
“But you still like my kisses.”
Very definitely.
Aiden’s mouth found hers, and again Tess was lost to the world of pleasure. She wrapped her arms around his neck, drawing him closer. “There’s one more trait, sweet Aiden,” she teased.
“No time. I have other things on my mind.”
“Just as well for this next trait is that you are so very loving.”
The very best trait of all.
…
They woke several hours later as the door to their chamber slammed back against the wall. Aiden bolted upright.
“I cannot wait, Papa. I cannot.” Bursting into the room, Alexander’s chubby little legs rotated like a spinning wheel as he bounded across the room. He jumped on the bed and landed between them.
Aiden stiffened, instantly uncomfortable at having the boy so close.
“What are you doing here? You should be with your nanny. Go back at once.”
“But—”
“Do as I say. Now.”
The boy’s mouth trembled, eyes downcast.
Rousing at his side, Tess touched her fingertips to Aiden’s forearm and despite the moment, desire raged with in him.
“Aiden, he is your son. Let him stay.”
Ice doused that desire. His son. Never. He shrugged off her touch without even looking at her.
“I just have to know.”
“Know what, Alexander?” Tess asked.
Aiden gritted his teeth. God in hell he did not need this. Did not need or want the child so close and be reminded of his failings.
“You are my papa, I know you are. Aunt Mary tells me it is so.”
Aiden remained mute.
His father. His Papa.
In name only, but the boy would not understand the past. He spied hope coloring Alexander’s eyes, which only added to his own disquiet.
Alexander shifted his gaze to Tess. “So, if Papa is my papa, then you have to be my mama.”
Aiden felt the color drain from his face and his hands shook. He curled his fingers into his palms, nails digging into his flesh. “That is enough. You should not ask such.”
Alexander didn’t move.
“Did you not hear me?”
Tears glistened in the child’s eyes and a wave of guilt washed over him.
He was a child.
His child.
No!
Tess tossed the covers back, surprising Aiden that she wore her nightgown once more. When had she covered herself? While he slept?
He wished she hadn’t. He adored her body. She fit perfectly with him. The feel of her moistness closing over him as he thrust deep into her was embedded into his senses.
A hiccupped sob wrenched Aiden from carnal thoughts and he refocused as Tess scooped up Alexander from the bed, cradling him in her arms. She held herself aloof, staring down her nose at him.
“There is one more trait. Correction, failing, that can be attributed to you,” she stated, her tone wrapped in scorn, the words dripping with distaste.
Aiden’s insides plummeted.
“You are a harsh, pompous, rude man, who has not one wit of tact when dealing with a child who loves you as Alexander does. He is your son, whether you like it or not and love should not be thrown off as if it were something easily abandoned.” She spun from him and walked to the door. “Oh, yes, there’s another title I forgot. It’s Papa.”
…
Aiden had the world on his shoulders.
Guilt. Responsibility. A son he didn
’t want. And a wife he’d been blackmailed into marrying. A wife who loved him and he didn’t even know it.
Tess settled Alexander back with his nanny, promising to read him a story later and closed the door on the nursery.
Back in her room—their room—she was grateful Aiden had vacated and presumed he’d already gone down to take breakfast.
Not bothering to call her maid, she dressed quickly and clutching her shawl closer to ward off the chill to her heart, she descended the stairs.
Last eve she had realized with hope in her heart that she loved Aiden, but the man was ruthless, refusing to allow love to gain purchase. So what use was her love?
As she reached the last stair tread she halted as Jasper strode from the library.
“Good morning, Tess. An agreeable morning for such a festive day, don’t you think?”
“What? Oh, heavens. It’s Christmas. I’d completely forgotten.” Then, for the first time she actually noticed boughs of greenery festooning the doorways. “The decorations, the greenery it’s—”
“I took it upon myself, with the help of Barlow, to put it up. Call it a gift from me to you as our newest member of the family.”
Tears sprang to her eyes as she walked over to him and reached up to kiss his cheek. At the last moment he dropped his chin a fraction and their lips touched.
“Up to your old tricks again I see, Jasper.”
Dressed in dark brown trousers and a crisp white shirt, his jacket crafted from the finest wool, Aiden exited the breakfast room. “Or perhaps my wife is testing the waters.” Though Aiden spoke to his brother, his scowl focused solely on her. His tone dripping ice.
“Aiden! Don’t be so disgusting.”
“Then kindly do not avail yourself of my brother.”
Her cheeks blazed scarlet and a stabbing pain jutted directly to her heart. “Your brother has decorated for the festivities,” she said, confused by Aiden’s vicious verbal attack.
“Which, may I suggest, you call subtle blackmail, Lady Charnley.”
Lady! Not sweet Tess.
“I know my brother. This is his way of trying to gain an ally,” he finished.
“You think I’m that easily swayed?”
“Aren’t you?”
They both knew he wasn’t talking about Jasper, but their night of passion.
Tess disconnected the hold he had on her and turned to Jasper. “Thank you for such kindness,” she said offering him a smile.
“It seems I may have made things worse.”
Automatically she reached out for Jasper’s hand, and then pulled back when she heard a guttural growl from Aiden.
“Time I think I left you and my brother alone.” Jasper doffed an imaginary cap and, sidestepping them, took the stairs two at a time.
Unable to contain her fury, Tess spun round to face Aiden, planting her hands on her hips. “What was that all about?”
“You tell me. You’re one of the culprits.”
“Culprit? You’re being ridiculous.”
“Am I? It was you and my brother I spied kissing—which I believe, as your husband, is my right.”
“Right!” Shock scoured a path through her. Shock and strangely, delight too, for if he was jealous, did that mean her husband cared—even just a little? “Good grief. You’re jealous of me talking with Jasper,” she said with hope.
Aiden’s nostrils flared. “I’m nothing of the sort. I merely advise you to keep away from my brother. He is unreliable, a cad.”
Despite her disappointment at his denial, her laughter bubbled. “Oh Aiden, if you could hear what you say. ’Tis rubbish. Your brother is kind and a gentleman.”
Aiden leaned forward and whispered in her ear. “And broke, too. So I would not bother setting your bonnet in his direction, sweet Tess, for he has nothing to offer. Better you stay with the husband you have, a point that might be worth remembering,” he said, straightening.
The flat of her palm connected with his jaw. “And,” she said, sucking in a lungful of air, “you, too, need to remember that despite what you or my uncle believe I should be, or how I should act, I am no man’s possession. I will not be controlled, Lord Charnley. Now,” she said with a toss of her head, “since it’s Christmas Day, I have things to attend to.” With a sweep of her skirts, she sidestepped Aiden, but as she reached the door that led to the kitchen she halted. She glanced over her shoulder at him. “If you cannot trust me with your brother, then I certainly will not trust you with my body. You, my dear husband, may sleep alone.”
Refusing to offer a hint of penance, Tess immediately went in search of her maid, startling the staff as she walked into the kitchen.
Everyone stopped their tasks, and though several curtsied, most simply stared wide-eyed as she entered their domain.
Her composure barely held in check, she searched out Maria. “Please arrange for my clothing to be taken to the yellow room close to Alexander’s.”
A soft gasp echoed around the kitchen, but Tess refused to acknowledge it.
“He…he needs me close by,” she said by way of a flimsy excuse.
She chose not to linger but had barely climbed two steps before she heard a flurry of voices erupt behind her, questions flying back and forth.
“Has he tired of her?”
“Is she like the other one?”
The other one?
Tears welled, overflowing.
What now? Love him, without it being returned? Or make her own way as she had planned?
But what about Alexander? What about Mary?
Though Tess had only been at Charnley Hall a short while, already sweet Mary with her sad eyes and gentle nature had found a place in her heart, as had Alexander. How could she leave them?
Reaching the top of the stairs, she stumbled along the hallway and bypassed the room she’d shared with Aiden. She all but fell through the doorway to her new room, closing the door behind her. Slumped on the bed, she dropped her head into her hands.
Stay? Or go?
In her heart she knew it was not ultimately Mary or Alexander who stopped her from leaving, but her love for Aiden. A love that wouldn’t go away.
A tap on the door and Tess sniffed back her tears. “Come in.”
Maria entered, carrying an armload of Tess’s clothes. Saying nothing, Tess stood back as the maid efficiently stored her possessions.
Task finished, Maria rubbed her hands down her apron. “Would you like some assistance, m’lady?”
What she wanted was…Actually she didn’t really know anymore. She offered a forced smile. “No, I’ll be fine.”
With Maria gone, she poured water from the pitcher into the bowl and with a linen cloth washed quickly and then chose a gown of dark blue velvet. Dressed, she spied herself in the mirror. The first thing that sprang to mind was, would Aiden like it?
She shook her head. How stupid. It did not matter if he did.
Oh, yes it did.
Heart heavy, uncertain about her future, Tess found Jasper and Alexander playing a game of fox and geese in front of the roaring fire. Mary scribed in her journal, a relaxed smile on her face. It warmed her heart that her sister-in-law was happier day by day. Mirabelle’s Musings seemed to be helping, too.
Not the same could be said of Aiden.
Her husband sat in a wingback chair in the corner of the room, a brandy in one hand and wearing the most ferocious scowl.
“Mama, Mama,” Alexander’s call beckoned.
Mama!
Hearing that single word, her heart bloomed. They played for some time and once the game ended, Jasper delighted them with adventure stories of dragons and brave warriors. Then he talked of highwaymen and Tess snuck a peek in Aiden’s direction. His mood had not changed one iota.
The day progressed and she, Jasper, Mary, and Alexander took a walk to the river, deciding to make a snowman on their return.
Aiden stayed silent and aloof, refusing to join in, and as early evening settled and dinner was announced, Mary
took Jasper’s arm. At the doorway, Alexander’s nanny beckoned him and Tess turned to Aiden. “Can Alexander not dine with us?”
Aiden slugged back the remnants of his drink. “He is a child. He eats in the nursery.”
“Surely on a special day like today, and with your family all around you, he should be included.”
Aiden’s mouth thinned. “Do not interfere, Tess. It’s none of your business.”
“You keep saying that, but as your wife I have a right to be involved.”
“A stolen right,” he countered with biting sarcasm.
Her hands curled tight, an action he must have noted.
“Calm down, dear wife. One would not want you to lose control. Again.”
She exhaled a hard breath. “And you would do well not to patronize me. This is not about…about what happened between us last eve,” she said determined to hold her head high and not falter beneath his glaring inspection. “but about your son.”
“My—”
“Son,” she reiterated.
“You do not know what you are talking about.”
Tess didn’t deviate. “Yes I do. We’re talking about a child. A child who needs his father. When I lost my parents I grieved deeply, but I also remembered the wonderful life they had given me. The fun and laughter, the lessons I had learned. What will Alexander remember of you?”
And with that she turned away from the man she loved but did not understand, and walked out of the room and upstairs to the nursery.
Alexander’s beaming smile greeted her. “Mama!”
“Would you like to eat with the grownups, Alexander?” she asked.
His eyes lit up. “With Papa?”
“Yes, with your Papa.” Tess hoped Aiden would not balk.
She should not have worried. Much. Though a strained affair, Alexander’s youthful exuberance and delight at being included meant he never noticed a thing.
Chapter Fourteen
Love can be hidden
Love can be lost
Beware of what you wish for
For there is no turning back.
Mirabelle’s Musings
December 31st, 1813
For nigh on a week Tess kept her distance from Aiden.
Hoping the solitude of the frozen countryside and the paths along the river, now frozen over in patches, would offer a semblance of haven to her turbulent thoughts, she took up walking again.
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