About to walk out into the afternoon’s fading light, Aiden stalled her, drawing her into his arms. “One more thing before we leave,” he said. His mouth covered hers in a kiss that sucked the life and breath from her, every inch of her body tingling with a ready need for this man.
Could he love her?
She pulled out of his arms. “We need to make haste, lest you want us to freeze.” She had thought loving someone would be simple, but there was nothing simple or easy about this.
Lost in thought, she rode toward the main house with Aiden, but as they passed the ramshackle cottage belonging to the witch, the door opened and the wizened old woman exited.
“Good day to you, your Lordship. ’Tis a fine day.”
Aiden nodded.
“Are you not pleased to see the spring?”
“Spring! The ground is frozen solid, woman, with many parts of the Thames freezing as we speak.”
“Aye, but beneath, the earth begins to thaw, readying for spring, just like love thaws frozen hearts.”
Love.
Tess leaned forward and patted Dandy’s neck. “Do you have enough firewood to keep you warm? If not, I will send Flynn over with a load.”
The woman’s rheumy eyes glistened, and Tess thought she saw a hint of tears. “A little bit of wood for the fire would be mighty appreciated, m’lady. Thank you for your kindness.”
“It is nothing.”
“Nay, it is. The other one would not have been so thoughtful.”
“Other?” Tess frowned, but before the witch could answer, Aiden cut in.
“We need to go, old woman. Best you keep your own counsel.”
“And you, m’lord, think about spring and the thaw.”
Aiden yanked on his reins, digging his booted heels into the horse’s side. Tess watched her husband ride away without a backward glance.
“He does not understand his heart, m’lady. ’Tis as frozen as this land,” the witch said, answering Tess’s unspoken question.
Though the woman’s words were a confusing riddle, Tess nodded. “Another time.” She waved good-bye and she too began to follow Aiden, though she’d only distanced herself by a few feet when the woman’s last words rang in her ears.
“Everything that is frozen does thaw…in time.”
Chapter Sixteen
Beware of a rogue
Beware of his blackmail
For ’tis closer than you think
Mirabelle’s Musings
February 1814
The first sight of his brother soured Aiden’s mood. “What are you doing back here, Jasper? Should you not be up at Oxford, or preferably clearing up your debts?”
“That’s why I am here. ’Tis impossible. I’ve tried.”
“Inaction makes life impossible, brother. Action solves problems. What have you done to solve your problems?”
“I need your help.”
“And I think we’ve had this discussion before.”
“I tried to get a stay of—”
“Execution,” Aiden finished for him.
“’Tis not funny, Aiden.”
“Do you see me laughing?”
Jasper raked his fingers across his scalp. “You don’t know him.”
“Who?”
His brother’s gaze shifted toward the roaring fire. “He’s a rogue .”
“Whom it seems has outwitted you.”
Jasper offered a grunted snort. “This man is clever. He gets you by the jugular when you’re at your weakest.”
“So resist. Pay him. You have some funds in your trust account.”
“Not enough.”
Shock jettisoned through Aiden. “You’ve spent it all? I had no idea.”
“No, you never do. You live in your exalted world, locked away from reality. That’s why Lillian got bored. You weren’t here and when you were, all you thought about was what was happening back on the war front.”
Aiden’s fists curled. “Shut your mouth.”
Jasper smiled, knowing he’d hit the mark. “Don’t like the truth, brother? She came to me crying, holding on to me.”
Aiden sprang from his seat. “Shut up.”
But Jasper didn’t shut up. He shrugged. “Lillian wanted the arms of a lover. Anyone, really,” he goaded.
Aiden’s fist slammed into Jasper’s jaw, throwing him to the floor. For a split second Aiden hovered over him, fist still clenched ready to hit again. Itching to do it. Then reality struck and he sprang back, horrified at what he’d done. He stared down at Jasper, who struggled to get up, one hand rubbing across an already reddened and bruised jaw. A trail of blood trickled from the side of his mouth, his bottom lip punctured.
“You want money. I’ve given you all you’re going to get, Jasper. So I suggest you crawl your way back to the ton and figure out how you’re going to pay whoever it is you owe. I’ve already given you an introduction to the Earl of Beswick’s legal firm. He thinks they may have a position for you.” And with that, Aiden headed for the morning room to lock himself away.
He sank down onto a chair beside the window, staring blankly out across the horizon. Everything was frozen. The river. The land. His heart!
He squeezed his eyes closed. The witch had said that. Frozen like the land. Would it thaw like the spring she talked of? Could it?
Then there were the questions that roamed his brain constantly.
What if he had not gone to the battlefields?
What if he had not married Lillian?
What if he had not promised to protect his family, honor his parents?
So many what-ifs.
Aiden dropped his head into his hands and a vision of Tess infiltrated his brain, pushing scarred thoughts and memories away.
Tess with her glorious hair that washed across his body in a silken wave. Her warmth wrapped around him.
What if he could not thaw?
Alexander. His son. His son.
It sounded perfect. Right.
The door burst open and Tess rushed in. “What has been going on? Barlow informs me Jasper was here and then shot out the door as if the devil was on his tail. You were arguing again,” she accused.
“He crawled back again to beg for money.”
“Oh, Aiden. When will this end?”
“When he learns I am not his personal banker.” Aiden stood, massaging one hand with the other.
“You’re hurt.”
“My fist,” he said.
“You hit your brother!” Horror colored Tess’s eyes and ignited a fresh wave of guilt through Aiden. Never in his life had he used mindless violence, and yet, one word from his brother about his errant dead wife and his fist had connected with Jasper’s jaw in the blink of an eye.
Aiden had long ago realized he had not truly loved Lillian. He thought he had, but her duplicity had severed any emotion he had for her, though for poor Lillian the consequences of her actions far outweighed her deed.
It seemed he was surrounded by death. A wintry land in death’s clutches. The death of his wife. The death of emotions, feeling… It had all gone, frozen as hard and as brutally as the land outside and he couldn’t help but wonder if such emotions would ever come back. Did he want them to? And if they did, could he survive?
What he wanted, needed, was Tess. Her warmth. To feel her next to him. “I believe we have an hour before dinner,” he said, gathering her fingers in his hands.
Acknowledgment flickered in her lush green eyes. “There are others about.”
“Easily fixed.” Still holding her hands, he reached over and kicked the door to the morning room shut with his boot, then locked it for good measure. “There, that should sort that problem out.”
“What if someone wants you? Me?”
“They can wait. I can’t.” And he drew her back to the chaise. “An hour might just be enough time.”
“Only just,” Tess quipped and began to unbutton his shirt.
…
As Tess descended the stairs the next mor
ning, she couldn’t have been happier.
In the few months since she’d arrived at Charnley Hall, Mary had blossomed and to everyone’s surprise, she had accepted an invitation from the Earl of Beswick’s sister to spend a week or two in London.
She remembered Mary’s blush as she’d talked of the moody Duke and couldn’t help but wonder—and hope—that there may be a budding romance, perhaps?
Alexander, too, seemed happier, seeking out Aiden’s company. Only yesterday Tess had spied the two of them playing fox and geese. She hadn’t interrupted, but backed away, leaving father and son to their private time.
Then there was Aiden himself.
He loved her each night, and each morning she woke, glorying in the comfort of his arms around her and in the fact that he had not taken to the roads again.
For the first time in a long time, she felt settled and as if she belonged. Though Aiden hadn’t realized the truth about her race along the Thames estuary to warn him, it seemed as if the staff at the Hall had at last accepted her as the lady of the house.
Tess gathered up her correspondence. She’d not replied to Tulip’s letter until now, unsure how to explain about Luther’s dealings or her part in their downfall that night. She dropped her reply on the sideboard at the bottom of the staircase and then headed into the breakfast room where father and son talked.
“Do you think we could make a snowman, Papa? Mama made one with me yesterday, but it needs to be bigger, I think.”
Aiden looked over to her and her heart swelled. It did that a lot lately, though she had not yet told him of her feelings. Oh, she knew he loved her in the physical sense, but the uncertainty of his true feelings kept her own declaration at bay.
Time. Surely in time, his heart would thaw. Wasn’t that what the witch had said?
“What are you two planning?”
“The biggest snowman ever, Mama. Papa said he would help.”
“I did? I’m not sure those words passed my lips, Alexander.”
The little boy’s brows creased, hesitation coloring his eyes. “But Papa, you are tall and big and strong and I cannot do it alone.”
A deep rumble of laughter echoed from Aiden’s chest, his grin broad, eyes sparkling. “Flattery wins, without a doubt, son.”
Son!
Hope bloomed in her heart.
“Your son is a charmer. Something I think he learned from his father.”
Aiden’s eyes captured hers, and she witnessed a fission of sadness, only for it to disappear in a single blink of his long dark lashes.
“Now, Papa, we need a carrot for the nose and coal for his eyes.”
Her husband switched his attention to Alexander. “Anything else?” he asked, his tone filled with barely contained mirth.
The little boy tucked a chubby finger beneath his chin, pondering his father’s question. “No. I do not think so, but do hurry, otherwise the snow will melt.”
“Breakfast first, Alexander, then we may start our adventure, though I do not think this frozen land of ours is going to melt anytime soon.”
“There is definitely something about this family. You all want adventure.”
“And that, m’lady,” said Aiden as he downed his regular morning tea, “is perhaps something you are not averse to.”
“Adventure,” she said, laughing, “No, I think the quiet life I have is just perfect.”
Perfect?
Yes. Yes it was. With Alexander happy, Mary renewed, and Aiden at her side, life was perfect. Nearly. All she had to do was find a way for Aiden and Jasper to repair their familial bridge. And hope that Aiden could learn to love her.
Just then, Barlow entered the breakfast room carrying several envelopes and deposited them in front of Aiden. “A delivery, your Lordship.”
Distracted by Alexander’s chatter, Aiden reached for the first envelope and sliced it open with the ivory-handled opener Barlow left for him. Unfolding the letter, he turned to read it. His sudden curse rent the air. “So it is true.”
Startled, Tess put aside The Ladies’ Magazine and glanced over at Aiden. His mouth was set in a grim line, his eyes glacial. “Aiden?”
He waved the letter in the air. “You could not leave it alone, could you, Tess?”
Her gaze fixed on the single piece of parchment and it was as if stones suddenly plummeted in her stomach. It took only two heartbeats to retrieve a semblance of calm, though her fingers shook. She linked them together on her lap, out of view.
“Why are you reading my mail? That is a letter I intended to have delivered to Aunt Tulip.”
“Of that I’m unfortunately aware. All this time I’ve wanted to trust you.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Inadvertently, Barlow delivered your letter to me rather than your aunt. It certainly makes interesting reading.”
“You have no right. Give it to me.”
“Too late, since I’ve read it.” He tossed it to her and she scooped it up. “Your words condemn you.”
“Oh, don’t be ridiculous.”
“What does condemn mean?”
In unison, she and Aiden swiveled toward Alexander, suddenly realizing he was still in the room and listening intently.
“Go to your room.” Aiden barked.
“But, Papa—”
“Now! Do not question me.”
The little boy’s mouth trembled, but he scrambled from his chair. He faced his father and his bottom lip stuck out. “I don’t like you. You are a mean papa.” Spinning on his little legs, Alexander raced for the door only to run headlong into a maid as she entered carrying a tray.
“Out!” Aiden’s roar sent the maid scurrying. Alexander followed and in the distance his gut wrenching sobs were clearly audible.
Tess pushed her chair back, the legs scraping on the parquet floor. “How could you? That little boy is sobbing his heart out. All he wants is for his father to love him and in one sentence you’ve destroyed everything.”
“We have private matters to discuss.”
“Rubbish. Whatever you want to say to me can be said in front of others. What I’m concerned about is that little boy. He now thinks his father doesn’t love him, but I gather you don’t hold love in high regard. So what else should I have expected?”
“Exactly. Love is for fools. ’Tis false and sucks you in, destroying what little faith a man has.”
“Do you hear yourself, Aiden? Those are the words of a man who has given up on life, on love, and hope and dreams. I pity you, Aiden, for to not have even an iota of those wonderful emotions must make your life soulless.” Tess spun away from him, aware of the sharp slash of real pain in her heart. It was breaking in two. She reached the door.
“A good try at deflection, Tess, but not quite good enough.”
His accusations stalled her retreat and she turned to face him, head held high, and her grip on the door handle tightened. “I do not know what you mean.”
His mouth quirked ever so slightly, but it wasn’t humor she witnessed, for his eyes were still as harsh as flint. “You’ve lain in my arms night after night and yet we both know it was you who warned Nash and Gibbs.”
He knew all along!
“I warned you! You, my lord! Word came of the excisemen. I wanted to protect you.”
“I did not need your protection.”
He didn’t need or want her love either, so it was just as well she’d kept that hidden.
“No, that’s right, you don’t need anyone. You say you take to the roads to bring Nash to justice, but I think it is because you are afraid to face the life you have. Mary is well and happy now and no longer needs you. Me. I used you to get away from Luther. But Alexander, your son, he needs you, Aiden.”
“He’s not my son. My wife deceived me.”
“I know.”
For a split second, shock played across Aiden’s face, eyes brutally steel-edged. “Mary, no doubt.”
“She trusted me enough to tell me, unlike you.”
“I did not deceive you. I helped you.”
“I was that close to getting him,” Aiden bit out, holding up his right hand, thumb and forefinger slightly apart as if to emphasize his point. The rancor in his voice was clear, eyes blue-black with anger narrowed on her. “But because of you, I lost him. Because of you, your uncle is safe.”
Aiden snatched up her letter to Tulip, and read. “I hear Uncle concluded his business. It would be best if he does not come this way again, for there is great danger afoot. Cryptic perhaps, but a warning nevertheless, Tess.”
“I meant I did not want him to visit Charnley Hall.”
Aiden’s hand curled into a fist, scrunching the letter into a tight ball. “You are lying. You lie to get your own way, just as easily as you blackmail. I will not be manipulated again. Pack your bags.”
His jaw flexed and Tess witnessed the frantic beat of the tiny pulse in his throat. “What?”
“You heard me.” Aiden took his seat, picked up his drink and sipped it as if the brutal words had not passed his lips.
“I cannot leave.”
He stared right through her as if she were invisible. “You have a day to organize what you need.”
“But what about Alexander?”
“He is of no concern of yours.”
“You’re wrong. You may not understand, in fact, I doubt you have the ability in your frozen heart, but I love that little boy as if he were my own child.”
“I never asked you to.” Aiden picked up the second letter from the table, idly fingering the letter opener in his other hand.
Ice slid through her veins, freezing off hope and cloaking her in sadness. “No you didn’t, but you cannot control love, Aiden, or tell yourself who to love and who not to.”
“I thought you were the woman in control of her life.”
“External events yes, but inside, in my heart…” She stopped speaking and shook her head at the futility of trying to make this hardened man understand. “It seems that you do not have a heart at all.”
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