by Jack Tunney
I was surprised it neither hurt nor felt good – it just was.
I breathe in deeply as I moved my hand about in the steaming water. I felt nothing, no pain, no euphoria, just a point of nothingness. I moved about in this nothingness until it grew to a cold and sterile place.
I smiled and removed my hand. Somehow it felt right. I went back to the little room I was allowed to occupy in Chan’s home, and slept like I had never slept before.
It was not the sleep of one worn out and exhausted, but the sleep a man who had cleared himself of all petty thoughts confronting him. It was a neutral zone – neither the top of the highest mountain, nor the bottom of the tar pits of hell. There was no reward, and there was no sorrow. There just was, and for that instance, it was more than enough.
The training resumed. Weeks past. I found myself looking forward to the daily rituals. I was no longer bored, I no longer complained, no longer wished for it to be over.
I had found balance.
I also spent a little more time with Shi-Wen. Even though her grandfather didn’t seem to approved, he didn’t seem to mind either.
She was always there to greet me after the hours of training with a cup of tea and a warm towel. They were like champagne and caviar to me. Life had become simple…focused. I knew what I wanted. Best of all, I believed I could grasp it.
The training intensified gradually. Instead of steaming water, I was now sticking my hand into boiling water, yet I was fine. There was no pain, no burning.
After hours of training and meditation, the Wise One made me lay down while he stuck needles into my hand. Some were dipped in stuff that made his herbal tea smell like roses, others were actually heated up and gave off a smell of incense. While I thought it strange, I didn’t question it. I had given myself up completely. All negative thoughts of what could and could not be accomplished were gone.
After a month of this day in and day out, I was allowed a day off. I decided it would be spent with Shi-Wen. We packed a small basket of goodies and headed to the lakefront. Chicago had miles of the stuff along beautiful Lake Michigan. We sat and talked for hours while staring out at the blue water. I smiled and shook my head. She caught this and asked me what I was thinking.
“It’s hard to put into words,” I said, lowering my head.
She touched my chin gently and lifted it so I gazed into her eyes.
“Please try.”
“I feel at ease, Shi. For the first time in my life, I don’t feel the weight of my past is bearing down on me. I used to think it was that way back when I was champ. I used to think I was happy. But that was nothing, nothing real anyway. This is real happiness.”
Shi smiled and moved forward and pressed her lips to mine. It was softly at first, but then as I wrapped my arms around her it grew much more intense. I had kissed other women, but somehow this felt like my first. I wasn’t sure if I knew what love was, but by all indications this was it.
We stayed there the rest of the day until the sun set then walked back toward Chinatown. It was a long walk, but before I knew it, we had reached the outskirts off of Cermak. We turned on to Wentworth and moved down the block.
Chinatown was alive with activity, the many restaurants dotting both sides of the street were doing a solid business, as were the small shops and bakeries. It seemed like the rest of Chicago thought this was a tourist destination, a place where for a few hours they could be in China.
As we got closer to the small shop Shi and her grandfather ran with Chan, I caught the sight of a few of the Russians crossing the street. It was the big goon, Bruno, along with a couple of the boys from the Dragon Q who had roughed me up.
They moved quickly, standing in front of us so we couldn’t pass. I held my arm out and pushed Shi behind me. Bruno smiled as he spoke.
“So, you have taste for chink women. That too bad. You see, I have decided I will have her.” He looked back at the other goons who gave him a chorus of laughter.
He then moved forward like I wasn’t there, reaching to grab Shi who was behind me. I shot my thumb into his throat pushing his Adam’s apple back, causing him to gasp for air. I grabbed his wrist and twisted and spun him around, tossing him over my hip and into the street lamp post.
I turned just as one of the other goons came at me with a switchblade all nice and shiny and seeking my back. I grabbed his wrist with my left hand and pulled his arm and the knife past me while I drove my knee into his crotch. I dropped and spun, bringing his arm up and catching the elbow on my shoulder as I pulled down hard. His scream was barely audible over the snap and crackle of bone and ligament I had just shredded.
I stood over him as he lay on the ground in a fetal position moaning in pain. I turned to await the last goon, but there was no need. Shi was taking him out with a spinning roundhouse kick that crashed his head into a brick wall. He slid down and sat on the sidewalk, out like a light.
I looked at Shi. She was smiling from ear to ear.
“I guess I needn’t worry about protecting you,” I said. “Perhaps I should hire you as my bodyguard.”
We moved to the stairwell and went up to the small apartment. It was dark, so we moved as quietly as possible to my room. She entered first and I closed the door behind myself as I stepped in. The light from the moon glowing through the small window made a silhouette of Shi. I watched as her shadow began to undress. We made passionate love several times until I passed into a deep sleep.
The next morning I woke expecting to see Shi. Instead I stared into the face of her grandfather. He was bent over, staring at me with a big smile.
“Forget training time perhaps?”
I shook my head.
“Overslept,” I said, and moved to grab my trousers.
“Yes, overslept indeed.”
He moved from the room and I wondered when Shi had left. I finished getting ready and hurried to the courtyard. The Wise One was already stoking the fire under the black iron cauldron. I removed my shirt and moved over to prepare to put my hand into the boiling water, but when I got there, instead of boiling water, I discovered the cauldron was filled with a strange gray sand. It looked very fine, and I could tell it held heat because the air above it seemed to shimmer. I looked at him. He smiled and pointed to the sand.
“Begin please.” He said.
I took a deep breath and plunged my hand in. I did it several times, each time driving it further in. I moved the hand in and out, sideways. When this session was over, he immediately had me lay on a cot and proceeded to put the needles in. I was too busy thinking of Shi to pay attention. I felt a smile forming on my face. I felt the palm of his hand slap down on my forehead. I stared at him and he smiled.
“Focus please, yes. Always focus you must.”
This went on for a few more weeks and then all of a sudden I came out to the courtyard and there was a cauldron there at all. I wasn’t sure what to expect. I looked around and noticed that the courtyard had been covered with heavy mats. I moved on to the mat and began to stretch, I loosened quickly, so I started doing some Katas. I had just worked up a layer of sweat across my body when the old man stepped on to the mat with me. He held two sparing sticks and tossed one to me. I whirled in my left hand and jumped into a stance. He bowed and I followed suit. Then the attack was on.
The old man quickly took the offensive and before I knew it I was in full retreat, I block or deflected most of his strikes, but more than a few made their way through, and damn if they didn’t hurt like hell. I whirled the stick at his feet causing him to jump back. I pressed on then, trying to connect with a multitude of strikes, all failed badly. He moved a speed and grace that much belied his age. I hit the mat more times than I could count, and I was sore all over. I was starting to get angry though, so I bulled in and at least managed to knock his stick out of his hands, sending it flying across the courtyard. I thrust at him and tried to sweep the stick into his side. It was tough doing this with basically only one hand that could grasp the stick the correct w
ay. He easily caught the stick and use it to catapult me over his shoulders and onto the mat. I looked up in awe as he stood there with my stick and a big grin on his face.
He decided it was enough with the stick and we squared off in hand to hand. I faired a little better…very little. I was getting exhausted, and the old man barely seemed to be breathing heavy. I outweighed him by a good buck twenty, but he tossed me around like a rag doll. I finally managed a few throws of my own, and even a few glancing blows. He bore into hard then. I was kicked, punched, and chopped nearly in to submission. I was always a day late and a dollar short. He was in and out, in and out. Striking quickly and then moving away causing me to exert energy with no reward. I felt my blood pressure rising like an angry bull, still I couldn’t touch him. Then after he had landed several shots to my gut he jumped in the air to land a roundhouse kick to my chest. I screamed out and grasped hold of his ankle. I held it firmly as the old man hung upside down. I raised him up and he folded his arms across his chest and grinned. I laughed.
“What in the hell is so funny.” Without saying a word I just followed his stare. I was in shock at first, but then I felt a thrill run through my whole body. I held him in my right hand…the useless hand. I released the grip sending him dropping hard to the Mat. I stared at the hand in disbelief, stunned as I moved my fingers, even more stunned, as I balled it into a fist.
The old man had erected himself from the mat at that point. He still held that smile.
“It is time.” He said.
“For what?”
“To complete your travels down the long and torturous road.” I thanked the old man and I ran off to find Shi. I was like a kid in a candy store on allowance day. I raced to the store and showed Shi. We hugged and she began to cry. They were tears of joy though. She was truly happy for me. Life was good!
ROUND 11
The next few weeks were a lesson in patience. I had been out of the boxing game for a while, so I needed someone to take a chance on me. This was not an easy task. The boxing world while not always on the up and up, was a well-informed group.
Everyone was aware of what happened to me. While many were sympathetic, they still needed to cover their butts. I went to promoter after promoter, nobody was biting. I ran the gauntlet of gyms in the area, as well as all the trainers I had known and again game up empty. Shi suggested I take a break and we go out one night, just one, to help take my mind off of things.
I finally agreed. I actually was looking forward to a night with her instead of some smelly gym, or smoke filled promoter’s office. We lived in Chinatown, so we both it was time to sample not only some different food, but culture as well.
We agreed on Italian food. I suggested Batali’s on Taylor. It was supposed to be the spot the Italians themselves went to eat. I bought myself a nice shirt and tie, and even a sport coat to go with it from Manny’s place, which always had some used, or slightly damaged stuff at a fair price. Manny gave me a great deal on a black dress shirt, and a white bow tie. It had probably been worn by some dead guy at his funeral, but who was I to complain.
When I arrived back at the little apartment, I was greeted by the Wise One. He stood, as he often did, with his hands folded behind his back. His eyes moved up and down me, assessing the suit I guessed.
He stopped, looked in to my eyes, and shook his head. “Incomplete! Missing something.”
“What? I spent good dough on this display.” I motioned with my hand down the front of the suit.
“Yes, but if going to take granddaughter out on town, suit must be complete.” He stepped forward and brought his hands from behind his back. In them was the nicest fedora I had seen this side of anywhere.
The hat was slightly slouched with indentations on the side, and the color was a perfect match for the sports coat. To top it off, the black band, which wrapped around it just above the brim, matched perfectly with my black shirt. I tilted my head as the old man positioned the hat and adjusted it several times before finally smiling.
“Ah, perfect, yes?” he said.
I saw the shine in his eye, which was good enough for me. I picked him up in a great big bear hug and shook him about. He swatted at me in disapproval.
“Aye, please to release. Not rag doll. Old and fragile, yes?”
I did as he asked, feeling a melancholy come over me. I almost came to tears as I choked out a response.
“You are the closest thing to a father I have ever known, sir.” I brought a sleeve to the tears welling in my eyes. “I just wanted you to know.”
He looked at me, eyes sparkling. “Feelings most mutual.”
He bowed and I followed suit. He nodded toward the corner of the room where Shi now stood. I gasped openly. She was beautiful.
She wore a jade green Chinese dress, hugging her every modest curve and making my heart bounce around in my chest. I was wobbly-kneed for the first time in a very long time, but it had nothing to do with taking a shot to the jaw.
We left the apartment and hailed a cab. Taylor Street ran through a predominately Italian neighborhood. Many of the families had come off the boat from Italy looking for a better life. They brought their culture and their food, but they also brought the influence responsible for the local mob.
Batali’s had started as a deli and meat market with a few tables for the truck drivers to stop and get quick, good meals. We entered and were seated pretty quickly. I was amazed by the amount of stares Shi received, but it didn’t seem to matter to her.
The dinner was wonderful. We shared a salad large enough to feed a small herd of elephants. The Calamari was tender as butter. Shi opted for some fettuccini Alfredo, while I ordered the lobster Diablo – a quartet of lobster and mushroom stuffed ravioli, with a red marinara sauce kicked up with some crushed red pepper flakes. We finished up everything put before us then moved on to the Tiramisu desert and a recommended brandy.
When dinner was over, we sat there like two star crossed lovers who had the rest of eternity to talk with each other, which still didn’t seem long enough. I ordered cappuccinos and we sat there sipping the molten hot drink while we stared in to each other’s eyes. Shi smiled, but then cut it off. I knew there was something weighing on her mind.
“Pat, tell me…will you fight again? Will you step in to the ring and forsake all for a chance at the crown?”
I thought about the question for a second, and then grasped her hands in mine.
“Shi, I will do whatever will make you happy. If that means finishing my days as a grocery clerk then so be it. I love you more than words can express Shi. I have an emptiness in my gut that can only be filled in the ring, but if you say the word I will give it all up, I will bury it away.”
I stared at the face in front of me, the face I had grown to not only adore, but love. She raised her eyes and looked into mine.
“Then you must fight, not halfway, but all out. I will back you to the fullest of my abilities, as will my family. Maybe then you will finally have inner peace.”
I wasn’t sure how to respond. I grasped her hands in mine, looked in to those deep green eyes. “Promise me one thing,” I said
“What?”
“Win or lose…you…you will be my wife.” I sat there with more anticipation, fear, and butterflies than in any fight.
She looked at me with tears in her eyes.
“That would make me most happy, yes, most happy.”
I called for the check. After paying, we grabbed a cab back to Chinatown. Her grandfather had long since given up questioning the two of us. We lay in bed wrapped in each other’s arms. I had my arm under my head, thinking about how I was going to get a shot at the championship.
Carmen had pretty much taken over the boxing game, and from the rumors I heard, he owned some Cuban or Mexican fighter who had ascended to the top.
I had my work cut out just getting back in, let alone making my way to a title fight. Still, I somehow knew it would work itself out.
That was the last thought
I had for the night as I fell asleep.
ROUND 12
I started training the next day. I was in good shape from all the working out with grandfather, but boxing was a little different. I started running every morning and set up a heavy bag, as well as a speed bag, under the canopy in the courtyard.
I again started calling trainers and promoters from the old days, however, most of them had either gotten out of the game or joined Carmen’s band wagon. I got the usual run around – check back in six months, or simply no. I was frustrated, but I kept training, and kept spreading the word I was looking to get back in.
After nearly a month of having every door slammed in my face, I got a surprise. I was in the courtyard taking out some of my frustrations on the heavy bag when I heard the old screen door leading from the side of the store bang open.
I didn’t think much of it, just figured it was Shi or grandfather. I kept punching away, my body was covered in sweat, but I felt good. I never thought I would feel my right hand pounding into a bag again.
Then I felt their presence. I stopped hitting the bag and looked over. I was definitely not expecting who I saw. They broke out into loud clapping when they saw I had finally noticed them.
Jimmy Lee and the suave Russian Emir sat in a few of the outdoor chairs lining the courtyard. I snarled as I moved toward them. The Russian held his hands out as I moved in.
“Whoa, cowboy. We come in peace.” Jimmy Lee nodded, motioning me to pull up a chair. I grabbed the towel Emir offered and sat.
“Okay, you have one minute to explain why I shouldn’t rip the two of you apart.”
“We have a proposition I think you will find to your liking,” Jimmy said.
“Doubtful,” I replied. “Thirty seconds.”
The Russian decided to jump in.
“What if we could get you not only back in the boxing game, but also get you a shot at the title.”
I let the Russian’s statement hang for a second. Then I shook my head and started to stand.