“Already? What’s up?” he asked.
“I went to town with Kiki today to pick up the registration forms, so it looks like they’ll be dancing in the competition.”
“Good work.”
“And I met Kawika Palikekua. He’s taken over Mitchell’s halau, and he’s not making a secret of the fact he’s more than happy to be in charge. He said Mitchell was training him to be a kumu.”
“Yet Shari Kaui was in line before him. Convenient she’s gone, yeah?”
“That’s what I was thinking. Kawika said he has lots of new ideas he can’t wait to implement. And there’s more.”
“Pretty soon I’ll have to put you on the payroll.”
Em laughed. “I also met a kumu named Jackie Loo Tong.”
“I know him. He likes to gamble.”
“He said he’s willing to bet his dancers will take the top prize now that Mitchell’s gone. He wasn’t mourning the loss of a fellow kumu, that’s for sure, and he wasn’t hiding the fact he was pissed about the way the judging went in recent years because the judges always favored Mitchell.”
“Now the field is conveniently wide open.”
“After meeting those two I think you might be on to something. No love lost between them all. Have you had any other intuitions?”
There was a slight pause before he said, “Just that I should come over after I’m off duty and keep you company now that Louie is spending his nights with his fiancée.”
She fingered Louie’s note, smiling.
“Sorry. He says he’s worn out, and he’ll be home tonight.” Em laughed.
“What’s so funny?”
“If you were really psychic, you’d have known that.”
10
Bringing in Back Up
A handful of Maidens showed up at the bar to dance that night. Afterward Sophie asked Kiki to pass the word there would be an emergency meeting at ten the next morning.
“Why? What’s it about?” Kiki wanted to know. “I can’t just call and ask them to be here without an agenda.”
Sophie knew better. If Kiki called a meeting anywhere, anytime, the others would show up no questions asked. But Kiki wanted to know why, and Sophie could tell by the panic on her face that she was not just on the edge. She was about to topple over it.
“I’ve lined up a couple of people to help you.”
“Who?”
“You’ll find out tomorrow.”
“What if we don’t approve?”
“Kiki, you don’t have time to fart around and disapprove. Competition is less than two weeks away.” Sophie hesitated a minute then added, “Should I call the Maidens or do you want to?”
“I’ll call them,” Kiki mumbled.
“Great. See you all in the morning.”
Sophie watched Kiki weave her way through the room crowded with teetering cocktail tables full of drinks. She greeted locals and stopped to chat with curious tourists who asked about the intricate head lei of woven flowers and leaves that was Kiki’s trademark adornment. As eccentric as Kiki could be, she was often a force to be reckoned with, but the woman had a heart of gold.
The Maidens were all there the next morning, not exactly bright-eyed, but they rolled in on time. Sophie had coffee and sweet rolls ready. Kiki asked for a shot of Bailey’s in hers and everyone else wanted some.
“Coffee and rolls are free, but I’ll have to charge you for the liquor,” Sophie warned.
No one cared.
Flora was at the wide end of the banquet in a muumuu with the hems of her sweatpants sticking out beneath it. It was already in the high seventies outside but it was “fall weather” as far as the locals were concerned. Little Estelle had rolled in on her Gad-About and parked near the stage. She ignored them all, hidden behind the daily edition of the Garden Island news.
“Could you hurry it up with the coffee?” she barked at Sophie. “I can’t read my paper without a cup of coffee.”
“Ignore her,” Big Estelle lowered her voice and leaned closer to Sophie when she passed by. “She’s not reading the paper. Just the headlines.”
“I hear you, Big Estelle.” Her mother snapped the open pages and peered over them. “I have the hearing of a dog.”
“And I have a property to show at eleven,” Suzi Matamoto announced. “Can we get started?”
“Sophie called this meeting,” Kiki said. All heads turned her way.
“Now that you all have your coffee, I have an announcement to make.” Sophie replaced the pot in the coffee maker and then picked up the competition schedule. She walked back over to the tables where the Maidens were waiting and held it up. She waved the list.
“You ladies are facing some stiff competition at the Kukui Nut Festival.”
Flora groaned and added some tequila from her plastic water bottle to her already spiked coffee.
“None of these women have handled anything stiff for years,” Little Estelle chuckled from behind the newspaper.
“Mother!” Big Estelle rolled her eyes.
Sophie tried to ignore them.
“Not only are you competing with the kupuna from Mitchell’s halau,” she said, “which is now under the direction of Kawika Palikekua, but also Jackie Loo Tong’s halau. And there are two coming over from Oahu and two from Japan.”
“And you all know what they’re like.” Suzie stopped texting, put her phone in her purse and folded her hands on the table.
“They breathe in unison.” Kiki’s eyes flashed around the assemblage.
“They even weigh the same,” Flora mumbled.
Trish Oakely, the photographer, had arrived late but had caught the conversation. She slid in beside Kiki. “None of them weigh over a hundred pounds,” she said.
“Soaking wet,” Big Estelle added.
“Is this conversation politically correct?” Suzi Matamoto glanced at her phone.
“You started it. But it is based on observation,” Trish countered.
“What are we going to do? I think we’re in over our heads.” Lillian Smith had been silent up to now. She appeared to be suffering a sleep hangover. The sun streaming through the window was shining through her teased pink tinted hair. She glanced at Kiki and quickly away as she raised her hand. Her question was directed at Sophie.
“Lillian?” Sophie smiled encouragement. Poor Lil was wound tighter than a ukulele string about to pop.
“Maybe . . .” Lillian cleared her throat. “Maybe we should let Marilyn back into the group. She is a good dancer and . . .”
Sophie could feel Kiki starting to vibrate. She quickly cut Lil off before the fireworks started.
“I don’t think that will be necessary,” Sophie said.
“And I . . .” Kiki started to rise. She’d lost all color except for two bright spots of blush on her cheeks.
Sophie spoke over her. “The good news is that I’ve found you ladies some help. You all know Wally Williams.” She waited while they nodded. “He’ll be happy to help with your costuming.”
Kiki nearly choked on a mouthful of Bailey’s and coffee.
“I design the costumes,” Kiki reminded them once she’d stopped wheezing.
Sophie took a slow, deep breath and smiled. “I think it would be great if you let Wally give you some input . . . just for the competition, of course.”
“He did design for Fernando,” Lillian reminded them. “Those jewel encrusted jackets Fernando always wore were to die for. I can help with bedazzling. I got a Bedazzler kit from QVC.”
“I’m not wearing rhinestones in a competition,” Kiki snapped. “That’s not Hawaiian.”
“I’m sure he’ll come up with something that will win you high points.” Sophie was beginning to doubt the wisdom of trying to help. It was goin
g to be a long, rocky road to awards night at the Kukui Nut Festival.
“Fernando’s costumes could rival anything you’ve ever come up with, Kiki.” Trish got up and went over to the bar to get her own coffee.
“What about the silver lame shark gown complete with the fins for our heads?” Kiki was livid and had given up trying to hide it. “Or those anti-bellum muumuus with hoop skirts and parasols I designed for our Battle Hymn of the Republic Fourth of July medley?”
Little Estelle slammed the paper down on the tray clipped to the front of her Gad-About. “Ohforcrapsake, Kiki. Those skirts were so wide only two dancers fit on the stage at once.”
Flora spoke up. “Yeah, and Lillian, Suzi and me got their hoops all tangled and were stuck in the car for twenty minutes outside Pizza Bowl the night we were supposed to dance at the bowling tourney. If the fire department hadn’t brought the Jaws of Life we’d still be in there.”
“Enough.” Sophie crossed her arms. “Wally has volunteered, and I think he should at least consult on costumes. You’ll certainly need more hands for sewing, hair, and makeup.”
“Wow.” Flora’s coffee was gone. She took another sip of tequila straight out of her water bottle. “We’re gonna have a pro do our make up?”
They all started talking at once. Afraid she was losing them, Sophie shouted, “I found you a coach.”
Stillness settled over the bar until the only sounds in the room came from outside: rental cars passing by headed for the nearby snorkeling spots, birds chirping, roosters crowing back and forth.
“What do you mean a coach?” Kiki was gripping the edge of the table now. “Who?”
“Someone to help pull you together before the event.”
“A kumu?”
“Not a kumu.”
Kiki settled back into her chair. “A choreographer?”
“Not exactly.”
“Another hula dancer?”
“No. Not exactly.”
“Then what exactly?”
Just then a person appeared in the doorway. Sophie smiled and waved.
“Come on in, Pat. Meet the Hula Maidens.”
Pat strolled in. Lillian leaned closer to Suzi and whispered, “Is that a man or a woman?”
Suzi squinted at the new arrival and shrugged.
Sophie understood their confusion. Like her, Pat wore a spiked haircut, but that’s where the similarity ended. The tails of a bright yellow aloha shirt with a pack of cigarettes in the pocket hung out over short denim cargo shorts. Pat wore no makeup and no jewelry other than a watch with a camouflage print band. She had on black cowboy boots with white socks sticking out over the tops.
Pat was not as beefy as a man or as curvy as a woman.
Sophie had never asked actually Pat’s sexual orientation. Pat was just Pat. They met in the bar at CJ’s up in Princeville where a group gathered every Monday for happy hour. Since Mondays was her day off, Sophie had started attending the happy hour “meetings” for a change of scenery and a chance to get to know people who didn’t necessarily frequent the Goddess. Pat was a character who was fast becoming a no-nonsense friend. She told the truth and was happy to listen whenever Sophie needed to talk.
The minute Sophie decided the Maidens needed someone strong to pull them together for the competition, she thought of Pat.
“This is Pat Boggs, ladies. From now on Pat will be running your practices.”
“But . . .” Kiki hunched in the banquet seat, frowning up at Pat.
“You’ll still be in charge, Kiki,” Sophie added, “but Pat’s a former Army Drill Sergeant who has volunteered to keep order so you ladies can get it together. That’s the only way you’re going to be ready for the festival competition in time. I’ll say again, Pat is a volunteer, so the less time you waste discussing this, the better.” Sophie was thankful Kiki had backed down for the moment, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t brewing up trouble.
“Pat? Is there anything you’d like to say?” Sophie nodded to the former sergeant.
Pat Boggs eyeballed Lillian and then the others and drawled, “Yeah. First off, I’m a woman, not that that’s anybody’s damn bitness. Second, Sophie’s right, I volunteered for this gig after she told me how y’all can’t walk and chew gum at the same time, let alone dance your way out of a wet paper bag. I guess you’re still plannin’ to compete in the Kook-kooie—or whatever it is—Nut Festival. Looking at you all . . .” Pat hooked her thumbs in her pants pockets and eyed each Maiden in turn, “I’d say we got plenty of work to do and no time to waste. I may be tough, but I mean to do you all proud and get you whipped into shape. If you co-operate, you have my gar-un-tee that you won’t walk out of that competition with your tails tucked between your sissy legs this year. Now,” she turned to Kiki, “when and where is our first practice?”
Sophie watched Pat work the Maiden crowd control. The woman had more than once proven at a happy-hour-gone-wild that she could out shout anyone in a brawl and silence an unruly crowd. Pat could take a beer bottle to the head without flinching, so she wasn’t going to back down in front of Kiki.
As far as Sophie was concerned, Pat Boggs was perfect for wrangling the Hula Maidens and keeping them in line.
11
Congratulations Are in Order
Em walked into the bar just as the Maidens’ morning meeting was breaking up and found Kiki in deep conversation with a stranger by the front door. Em stopped Sophie, who was carrying a tray of refilled ketchup and soy sauce bottles to the tables.
“Who’s that?”
“Her name’s Pat. I asked her to coach the Maidens.”
“Looks like she can handle them. How’s Kiki with it all?”
“Going with it for now. She’ll probably lay low and wait for Pat to slip up before she pounces.”
“Hopefully that won’t happen. They need all the help they can get.”
“If anyone can handle them, it’s Pat. How’d you know she was a chick?”
“How?” Em shrugged. “I’m from Southern California.”
They both looked up as Uncle Louie’s faded blue pickup truck rattled past the open window.
“Looks like he got away from Marilyn. Have you even had a chance to talk to him since the big announcement?”
“Not yet. He got in late last night and left early this morning. Left a note about going up to Foodland for some drink ingredients.” Em glanced at her watch. It was nearly eleven. “It took him long enough.”
“Probably grabbed a loco moco plate and stopped by for a quickie at Marilyn’s.”
“Please.” Em shook her head picturing Marilyn’s table littered with takeout cartons full of rice topped with egg, hamburger patties and gravy. “Don’t go there. There’s something about the image of my seventy-three-year-old uncle and his ‘girlfriend’ having a quickie after a loco moco that keeps me from wanting to go there.”
“I hear you.”
Em went back into the office to check the voice mail as Sophie continued to set up before the lunch crowd started to arrive. Em was barely in her chair when Louie breezed in the back door carrying a bag full of mangos and some mango nectar. Smiling and seemingly very carefree for a man his age, there was an old Hollywood personality air about him because of his perpetual tan, snappy Panama hat, and head of full of silver hair. He was a handsome man even when he wasn’t smiling. His stunning smile was always genuine. Louie was warmhearted and cordial and made everyone feel at home in the Goddess—which was his key to holding on to the business for so many years.
“How’s my favorite niece?” It was an old joke, but Louie always chuckled over it. Em was his only niece. In fact, she was his only relative.
“Good. I’m getting ready to call a list of people who want to book catering gigs. How are you?”
“Great! Still living
the dream, that’s for sure.”
“By the way,” she said, sobering, “I haven’t officially congratulated you on your engagement.”
He looked sheepish. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you ahead of time, but we wanted to surprise everyone.”
Em wondered if we or Marilyn wanted it to be a big surprise so that no one could object.
“Have you set a wedding date?”
He shook his head with a smile as he sat down on the corner of the desk. “Not yet. It’s going to take me a while to get used to being engaged.”
Em was relieved. Anything could happen before Louie and Marilyn’s marriage was a done deal. She still had time to find out about the woman’s past.
“You’re okay with it, aren’t you?” His concern showed on his face. “I mean, I know Kiki and some of the other Maidens don’t like Marilyn because she left their group, but she still cares about them. In fact, she was pretty upset when Kiki called and told her that she wouldn’t be allowed to rejoin. I tried to convince her that she was too good for them. She’s danced with some of the best, you know. She danced for Mitchell Chambers.”
“So I hear. She must be upset about what happened to him.”
“You bet. She’s going to the funeral on Saturday. I told her I’d go with her.”
“That’ll be nice.” Considering all the key hula halau players would be attending the funeral and the memorial luau afterward, Em decided she should go too; maybe she’d hear something of interest to Roland.
Louie shifted the bag of supplies. “I’d better get moving. I’m working on a new drink to commemorate the engagement. Marilyn loves champagne and mangos.” His gaze drifted toward the ceiling; his voice took on a dreamy quality. “Why just the other night I was drizzling champagne over her . . .”
“My gosh!” Em jumped up, effectively cutting him off. “Look at the time. I’ve got to start making these calls, and there’s still some planning to do for the art showing in two weeks.”
“Pretty upscale stuff.” He got a faraway look in his eye. “I wonder what Irene would think of an art show here at the Goddess?” He smiled as he always did when he spoke of his first wife.
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