Kiki handed the papers back. “That’s very considerate of the committee, but I’m afraid our gowns are ruined. We won’t be able to perform.”
Sophie put a hand on Kiki’s shoulder. “Wait a minute, Kiki.” She turned to Raymond. “Given the circumstances, can they wear something else?”
Kiki leaned close to Sophie. “We didn’t bring anything else.”
“I’m sure we can come up with something,” Sophie said.
Lillian clapped her hands. “Oh! We could use the drapes like Scarlett O’Hara.”
When Kiki actually checked out the drapes Sophie whispered, “Don’t even think about it.”
“They look too heavy anyway,” Kiki whispered back.
“We’ll think of something,” Sophie promised. “If nothing else, I’ll make a run up to the North Shore at dawn and pick up clothes for all of you at your places.”
“How about the gift shop downstairs?” Suzi suggested. “You think they might have seven of something that matches?”
“I don’t know,” Kiki said. “I have a bad feeling about this. Besides, the gift shop is closed for the night.”
Em was on her feet. The bump on her cheek had gone from red to light blue. “I’ll go down and look in the window. And there might be some crafters who haven’t packed everything up yet.”
Sophie could see Kiki’s mind turning.
“You don’t have to go, Em,” Sophie said. “Stay here. I’ll go with Kiki. We’ll check it out.”
Em pulled her hair back off her face. “This is my fault. I should go.”
“You look ready to drop.” Sophie gazed around the room. “In fact, you all need a good night’s sleep if you’re going to pull it together tomorrow. Clear out, and go back to your rooms. Kiki and I will go down to the lobby and see what we can find.” Sophie turned to Raymond. “Can we make a decision and let you know in the morning?”
“Find me by ten. We need to hold the judges here and get the chairs set up.”
“That would be great. I’ll walk you out.”
Sophie left the Maidens in the process of helping each other off the beds and cleaning up the wine glasses and empty bottles.
Stiff and sore in places she hadn’t known she’d been hit, Em got off the floor and walked out into the hall. She wanted to talk to Raymond before he was gone.
“Can I ride down to the lobby with you?” she asked him.
His smile faded once he was outside Command and Control.
“Sure,” he nodded. They walked to the elevator in silence. He pushed the down arrow, and the car opened immediately and they stepped in.
As soon as the doors closed, Raymond said, “How is Tiko? What happened at the station?”
“She swears she’s innocent.”
“I feel terrible.” His voice was so low she barely made out the words.
“I feel worse than terrible, but I saw her mark those cups and make a big deal out of which was for Kawika, and now we know he was poisoned.”
“She sent them to all the kumu every night. Same thing each time—Kawika’s cup had his name and big stars written on it.”
“Both nights? Did you tell Roland?”
He nodded. “I did.”
“Nothing we can do but wait to see if they find anything in her smoothie supplies.”
“She’s smarter than that.”
“I know.” Em sighed.
“This is all my fault. I had no idea she was in love with me.”
The elevator stopped, and the doors opened. The bright lobby lights made Em squint. Across from the elevator, a maintenance man was on a ladder holding one end of a huge purple and white banner that read WELCOME RHINOS! Another man was giving directions from the floor.
“It’s not your fault,” Em put her hand on Raymond’s sleeve. “The trouble is she’s probably still in love with you, so be careful, okay?”
“Mahalo,” he said, then he added, “you too.”
38
A Crush of Rhinos
Kiki met Sophie in the hall at nine the next morning to look for costumes in the gift shop. Sophie handed her a mug of steaming hot coffee, and they stepped into the open elevator.
“I hope we don’t find anything,” Kiki confessed.
“Oh, come on. You’ve all worked too hard not to dance today.”
“We have no leis, no hair pieces. Everything was ruined last night. I think we should give up.”
“The girls are counting on you,” Sophie reminded her.
The elevator door opened, and they stepped out into chaos. The place was full of men, women and children in matching T-shirts printed with the logos of various Rhino crushes all over the world. The men wore hats fashioned like Rhino horns. Some had on gaudy aloha shirts, and most of them had on Bermuda shorts with dress shoes and black socks.
Three Rhinos approaching the elevator stopped and stared at Sophie’s neon spikes, tattoos and pierced eyebrow.
One leaned close and said, “Hey, Honeybunch! We don’t see anything like you in downtown Duncan, Illinois!”
“Oh yeah?” Kiki grabbed Sophie by the elbow and started ushering her away. “We hunt Rhinos for sport on Kauai,” she called over her shoulder.
Overnight the hotel staff had set up a portable Tiki Bar in the lobby. It was situated between Kiki and Sophie and the gift shop. Rhinos three deep were swarming their new watering hole.
“Louie would love this,” Kiki said.
“Let’s tell the bartender and concierge to spread the word. If the Rhinos take day trips to the North Shore this week, they should stop by the Goddess.”
“Good idea.”
They made it a few more feet before music came blaring over a loudspeaker. “Put your right hoof forward, put your right hoof back, do the Rhino hop. Hop, hop, hop.”
“Look out!” Sophie pulled Kiki out of the way just in time. They ducked into the gift shop and watched the Rhino conga line cavort past the window.
“Crazy buggahs, yeah?” The clerk, a local gal, watched with them for a few minutes. “Pretty soon they’ll be running around naked. We’ve all got bets on how long it takes.” She shook her head and walked back to the register. “How can I help you ladies?”
“We need six matching dresses,” Sophie said.
“But I’m sure you don’t carry various sizes of any one dress, do you?” Kiki crossed her fingers.
“Oh!” The woman studied Kiki. “You folks from the halau that was fighting on stage last night?”
“That’s us.” Kiki shrugged.
“I heard you folks won. Congratulations.”
“Oh, no. They haven’t performed their competition dance yet,” Sophie said. “That’s what we need the dresses for.”
“I heard you ladies won the fight, not the competition.” The woman smiled.
“Mahalo. I guess,” Kiki sighed.
“So, I’ll show you the dresses I’ve got. What sizes you need?”
“Two XXLs, two XLs, one medium and one small.” Kiki turned to Sophie. “I’m not getting one for Little Estelle.”
“No need,” Sophie agreed. “Just be prepared for repercussions.”
Before the clerk could show them the dresses, two Rhinos came rolling in. Sophie told the men to go first.
“We need some scissors, disposable razors and shaving cream,” the taller of the two said.
“It’s a pain you can’t bring that stuff on the plane, eh?” Kiki watched one of them adjust the tusk on his head.
“Naw, it’s not that. One of the guys from our crush just passed out, and we’re gonna shave him before he wakes up.” He laughed like a school boy.
“Wow. I’d like to be there when he wakes up bald.” The clerk handed them some scissors and walked over to a disp
lay of disposable razors.
“Oh, we’re not shaving his head.” The shorter man snorted. “Rhinos’ heads are sacred. That’s where we wear our horns.”
The tall one said, “We’re shaving his—”
“Stop!” Kiki yelled.
“We get the picture,” Sophie said. “And I hope it fades fast.”
39
The Big Performance
Self-conscious of her role in igniting last night’s debacle, Em bought a black baseball cap. Like Marilyn in the disguise, she wore it with sunglasses to watch the Maidens’ competition number by the pool. Em picked up leis at a table in the lobby for all the Maidens and Sophie and Pat and looped them over her arm.
Rows of banquet chairs were lined up out in the open garden area by the pool. Though the mid-day sun was beating down on them, many of the seats were already filled with tourists, a few of the Rhino contingent and other halau from the Kupuna division anxiously awaiting the final results to be announced.
All twelve of the Japanese kupuna were seated together. There were twice as many of them as there were Maidens, but they were definitely the worst for wear. One had her arm in a sling, and most of them were sporting black eyes. One even had a bandage over the bridge of her nose.
Em spotted MyBob in the second row. There were still empty seats beside him, so she hunched down and scooted toward him.
“Are these saved?” she asked.
“Just one for the Sarge.” He patted the seat beside him. “You can sit here.”
She sat down, and MyBob pointed out Danny Cook’s band near the stage. Sophie and the Maidens were lined up nearby. The women were outfitted in items that could be found in most gift and tourist shops on the island, matching pareau in various shades of green and two strands of brown kukui nut leis. Thick haku lei made of various green leaves surrounded their heads. Lillian shaded her eyes with her hand. Flora and Big Estelle were fanning themselves with ti leaves.
“Where’s Little Estelle?” Em had a sinking feeling in her stomach. The Gad-About was nowhere to be seen.
MyBob shrugged. “I don’t know. With any luck they locked her in the van.”
Em couldn’t count on it. Her luck hadn’t been running on high lately.
Over in the nearest pool one of the Rhinos was tossing his head and making rhinoceros sounds in the water. A woman seated in the audience close to the pool yelled, “Enough already!” A hotel security guard walked over and ordered him to quiet down or get out.
Back at the platform stage set up for the performance, Raymond Leahe welcomed the crowd. Em watched the Maidens come to attention as Raymond asked everyone present to join him in a prayer for Kawika who was still in critical condition but hanging on. Once the prayer finally ended, he explained that the Hula Maidens from the North Shore had not had a chance to perform and so they would do so now. Thankfully he didn’t go into why they’d missed their turn, but most of the crowd knew about the fight, just as they knew the contents of Tiko’s smoothie booth had been confiscated and she’d been hauled in for questioning.
“And now,” Raymond said, “the Hula Maidens from the North Shore, under the direction of Kiki Godwin and accompanied by Danny Cook and his band, will dance to ‘Kalo O’Hanalei.’ The taro of Hanalei.”
The audience was silent as the women filed up the steps and took their positions. Sophie and Pat stayed right next to the stage. The musicians started, and someone in the audience yelled out, “Go aunties!”
Everyone started on time except for Lillian. Beside Em, MyBob groaned. The song was simple, fun and the choreography basic. Lillian found the beat half way through, and the Maidens executed the moves perfectly to the end.
Em found herself holding her breath until the finale. She turned to the judges who were stone-faced and serious as they marked their judging forms.
The Maidens exited carefully. Pat was there to help them down the three steps to the cement walkway. They remained in line and walked back toward the lobby doors.
“Now the judges will tally the scores, and in ten minutes we’ll announce the winners of the Kupuna division of the Kukui Nut Festival Hula Competition,” Raymond announced. “Sit back and enjoy the sounds of Danny Cook and the Tiki Tones.”
Em stayed put. The sun was hot, but it felt great to be outside in the trades. On stage, Raymond looked more at ease than the nights before, but he wasn’t comfortable ad-libbing or bantering with the audience between songs. Em found herself wondering if he was really shy or if he had been harboring secret aspirations that had turned deadly?
Finally the head judge stood and waved a sheet of paper. Danny and the band stopped playing.
Raymond said, “It looks like the judges are ready.” He waited while the judge with the tally sheet walked to the stage, accompanied by three women carrying koa trophy bowls.
The crowd shuffled in their seats. The Japanese dancers sat up straighter.
Afraid the Maidens would miss the announcement, Em saw them standing with Sophie and Pat at the back of the audience behind the last row of chairs.
“We’d like to say a big mahalo to all of the entries in the Kupuna division. Keep dancing, ladies. How about a big round of applause, folks?” Raymond waited for the crowd to clap, quiet down and then began again.
“And now, in fourth place, the halau from Tokyo, Hula Halau o’ Ka La.”
Em saw Kiki break into a smile. The Maidens weren’t going to be fourth out of four. The Japanese sat in stunned silence while the crowed clapped politely. Finally the kumu from Tokyo rose and limped up to accept a Certificate of Merit.
“In third place, from Kauai, The Hula Maidens!”
MyBob gave off a shrill whistle and jumped up. Em yelled, “Whoohoo!”
Kiki went to the stage to graciously accept the trophy bowl. She carried it in front of her like an offering to the Gods as she walked back to join the others.
The halau from Oahu took second, and Mitchell’s kupuna took first place.
After Raymond invited all of the division’s competing halau back next year, he called on one of the judges to lead the crowd in singing Hawaii Aloha. Then Em and MyBob made their way to where the Maidens were still waiting at the back of the audience.
“Congratulations!” Em hugged each Maiden and hung a lei around her neck.
“Good work, Kiki!” she said.
“We did it,” Flora shouted. “We didn’t come in last.”
Em walked next to Sophie as they all strolled through the garden to the lobby. They had checked out earlier, and their bags were already packed in their cars. Finally it was time to head back home.
“Are we all here?” Sophie looked around to make sure they hadn’t left anyone behind.
“Where’s Little Estelle?” Em asked.
Big Estelle was looking around as if she’d forgotten all about her mother. “I thought she was at the pool with you.”
“I haven’t seen her,” Em said.
“Me either,” MyBob added.
They all searched the lobby. The Tiki Bar was deserted. Most of the Rhinos had broken up into various conference rooms for lectures. A few Rhinos were sitting around with their families looking over maps and rack cards of Kauai activities. Others were checking out trinkets for sale at a whole new craft fair with vendors who catered more to visitors than hula dancers.
Em looked through the open doors of the hotel entrance. An EMT ambulance was parked out front.
“I’ve got a bad feeling,” she told Sophie.
“Why?”
Em nodded toward the ambulance.
“Uh oh,” Sophie whispered. “You think someone else has been poisoned?”
“As far as I know, Tiko is still in custody.”
“Which would mean someone else is responsible. Have you seen Marilyn around?”<
br />
“No. Not since last night.” They both looked around the lobby.
Just then there was a commotion at the front desk where a man’s voice was raised in anger. He was a middle-aged Rhino in a yellow T-shirt, safari pants and a Rhino horn.
“Don’t tell me to hang loose,” he yelled. “I haven’t seen my father in over two hours. He’s eighty-five and blind as a bat. He could have fallen, drowned, wandered down the beach . . .”
Big Estelle ran over to Em and Sophie. Pat and Kiki joined them, and they huddled together.
“We have to find my mother,” Big Estelle whispered. “Quick.”
“She’s probably snockered in the bar,” Pat said. “I’ll go look.”
Trish and Suzi came strolling up.
“Wait, Pat,” Trish said. “We just left the bar. She’s not there.”
Just then a service elevator opened and the EMTs were inside transporting a gurney with an elderly man strapped down and moaning. The Maidens watched as the EMTs cleared the elevator. Wedged in behind them was Little Estelle on the Gad-About with a Rhino horn on her head.
The man at the reception desk saw the EMTs. “That’s him! That’s my father.” He ran over to the gurney. “Dad? Dad what happened?”
The Maidens edged toward the front door. Em heard the EMT say, “Sorry, brah. He had a heart attack. We’re taking him to Wilcox Hospital, and they’ll fly him over to Honolulu.”
“Where was he?” The son was still frantic.
“He was having sex in an empty conference room. No idea who called it in, but when we got there he was all by himself.”
They rushed out the door to the waiting ambulance.
Big Estelle pressed a hand over her heart. All of the Maidens watched Little Estelle put the Gad-About in neutral. She folded her hands on the steering wheel and smiled.
“Mother . . .” Big Estelle stared in shock at her mother. “Please tell me you didn’t.”
Two To Mango Page 21