by Shey Stahl
Beside me, Adler nudges me, digging into the bowl of popcorn Haisley’s hoarding on her lap. She tries to pull it away, only to have him rip it out of her hands. Then she starts crying. “I had it first!” she shouts at him, tears streaming down her face.
“You’re supposed to share!” he growls back at her.
What a little shit. Boys are such jerks to girls. Revel and Bonner were assholes to Jenna growing up, but I wasn’t. At least that’s what I’m going to tell you. In all honesty, I’m not ready to tell you anything about her other than she was my best friend growing up. I glare at Adler, take the popcorn from him and hand it back to Haisley. “Stop being mean to her.”
He pouts for a minute and then asks, “How many bedrooms does the new house have?”
“Eight.”
Marley perks up and pulls her earbud out of her ear having surprisingly heard that. “Do we all get our own?”
“If you want your own or you can share.”
“Our parents always said we get them eventually,” Adler adds, “but it hadn’t happened yet.”
I don’t know what to say to that. Do you?
Haisley pauses her popcorn feast and stares at me and then my hair. “Did you have your own room?”
Lifting my head up from the pillow, I raise an eyebrow. “When I was your age?”
“Yeah.”
“No. I shared with Revel and Bonner. Grant had his own.”
Haisley’s focus shifts to my hair again. I probably haven’t given you much of a description about me other than being fuck hot. But my hair, it’s also a thing with girls. I wouldn’t say I have curly hair by any means and I usually cover it with a baseball cap, but it’s wavy and thick. Pullworthy as most women tell me. It’s short on the sides but on the top, it’s kind of a mess. One Haisley, the queen of braids all of a sudden thanks to Cat, wants to play with. Now she hasn’t said this to me yet, but it’s written all over her face.
“Can I braid your hair?”
Sighing, my manhood takes a hit, but I don’t want to make the kid cry again. “Sure. Go for it.” And there goes the rest of it.
With a renewed excitement, she jumps up, knocks the bowl of popcorn over and climbs behind me. I have to admit, it’s not all that bad having someone play with your hair.
Marley glances over at us but surprisingly, she doesn’t roll her eyes. Instead, she watches Haisley and then me, an unknown emotion in her eyes. I don’t know her well enough to know what she’s thinking. And then the tears surface. They come out of nowhere. Emotion lodges in my throat. Fear, regret, confusion, they’re all written in her eyes and I don’t know what to say or do. It’s clear seeing Haisley playing with my hair brought it on, but then again, maybe it wasn’t that at all.
I mouth, “You okay?” Should I pull her aside and check on her?
Never one to give her emotions away, Marley shrugs, trying to play it off and places her earbuds back in her ears, closing herself off again.
“You can have your own bathrooms too,” I add, looking to Marley, hoping maybe that might make her feel better. She nods, but doesn’t say anything.
“Thank fuck!” Adler groans beside me, picking up pieces of popcorn Haisley spilled.
I swat at him. “Boy, watch your mouth.”
“What? You’ve never shared a bathroom with four girls!”
“Tell us about Revel,” Braylee whispers, holding up her iPad and the article of him plastered across the news again. This time he made a scene on his latest tour with Taylan Ash.
Rolling my eyes, I shake my head. “He’s a fucking mess.”
“What your mouth, boy,” Adler mocks, laughing and tossing popcorn at me.
Nalani takes the piece beside me and smiles. “Ah, cute!”
We all laugh only to have Haisley yank my head back. “Stop moving.”
I straighten my posture and try to act like I’m a statue. “Sorry.”
The next twenty minutes as we watch the movie, Haisley makes me runway-model presentable, along with makeup because what the hell—I’m stuck at home, might as well let her have her fun. And I gotta admit, I look good with mascara. Adler even lets them do his makeup, too.
“I feel like we’ve lost our manhood,” I tell Adler, looking in the handheld mirror Marley hands me. Yep, she turned off her music and actually participated.
Adler laughs. “You ain’t kidding. But I think my hair looks good like this.” He runs his hands over the spikes in his hair.
It’s after midnight by the time they all fall asleep. I have intentions on sneaking back to my room, but I’m trapped by kids. Nalani has her entire tiny body on top of mine, her head on my chest and arms sprawled out. On my left are Haisley and Braylee. On my right, Adler’s using my arm as his pillow and Marley has her legs on mine. It’s like I’m their personal pillow.
I think of Grant. I don’t know why but I do. I picture his face and wonder again why he left me the kids. I hadn’t seen him in years; hell, I didn’t know anything about him other than he was living in Texas and working for his wife’s family. I can’t tell you if these kids are anything like him.
Lying there with a stuffed pig named Poot under my head, I think of Ember. It’s not like my thoughts ever strayed from her. And I still never had the chance to take care of my problem. I don’t know who I drop kicked in a previous life to deserve this kind of torture, but I want to go back and sincerely apologize to them and beg them to deal me another hand. Maybe if I pinch the little one and tell her to cry for Ember, she’ll do just that, and I can convince Ember to come and sleep on the floor with us. Think it’ll work?
You’re right, it won’t. If she hasn’t given in to me yet, no way will she with a bunch of kids on the floor with us.
Line of scrimmage – An imaginary line extending from sideline to sideline where the ball is spotted.
I don’t know why, but the moment I wake up, I check Alessa’s Instagram. Maybe because it’s become a habit at this point? Probably. She’s posted a picture of her and Landon that was taken nearly four months ago when they were in Paris together. They’re standing under the Eiffel Tower. He looks annoyed to be there, and if I remember correctly, he was. He literally begged me to get him out of that trip with her, but I didn’t. I thought it would be good to get him out of town and knew it would drive them further apart. Guess who was right on that? Yes, me.
And guess who he called and talked to that entire vacation while Alessa was off doing whatever it is models do?
Me, again.
Underneath the photo of him, she hashtags a few things. Take a wild shot in the dark as to what they are. Okay, give up? I’ll save you the trouble and just tell you. #blessed #lovers #loveofmylife #loveinparis #fashionmodel #LC and… here’s the cake topper of the hashtags, #hesmine. Bullshit he’s yours.
Bitch, he was mine first. And then I just want to bitch slap myself because what business do I have saying that? He’s a lot of things to me. My friend, my boss, yet at the end of the day, not mine. But damn it, in so many ways he is.
Rolling over on the couch, I think about how nice it would be to have an actual bedroom and how the simple act of moving into the guest house on Landon’s property would accomplish that. I could have a place to paint instead of my closet paint studio. That’d be nice.
Cat emerges from her room, her dreads absolutely perfect and lying nicely over her shoulders. She lies down next to me on my couch/bed and spoons me from behind. She’s a cuddler in the morning. So strange, but I love her.
“Are we going house shopping again?” she asks, resting her chin on my shoulder.
Picking up my phone again, I check the time only to notice I never clicked off Alessa’s Instagram profile. Cat rips my phone from my hands and holds it close to her face. “He’s in Paris? How’d he get there? Who has the kids?”
A laugh escapes me. Wiggling around, I try to get comfortable with Cat practically lying on top of me. “No, honey. He’s in his condo, I think. That was taken a while ago.”
<
br /> She scrolls down from that photo to another one of them on the beach in Mexico. I’m in the distance on a lounge chair, glaring at the two of them. Whoa. It’s pretty obvious I hate her, or I’m in love with him. Turns out, it’s both.
Cat points to the picture. “Her body is ridiculous.” And by ridiculous, you’d think she means good, and sure, it could be if you like that stick-thin model body. Maybe that’s why I’m glaring at her in the photo?
Nope. It’s her passive aggressiveness I can’t stand. And maybe a little bit of her body.
“Does she ever eat?”
“If water and tofu count as food, then yes.” Picking up one of Cat’s dreads on my shoulder, I stare at the twisted hair with my fingertips and then smell it. Her hair always smells like apples.
“Didn’t they break up? Or am I imagining that?”
“They did, but who knows if that’s going to stick. I think they got together while they were in Hawaii.”
“Wasn’t he in Hawaii with Quinn and Kumonde?”
“Yeah, but she was there doing a photoshoot or something.”
“Weird.” Cat hands me my phone back and then stares at me, her wide green eyes assessing. “When are you two going to get together and stop all this nonsense of ‘he’s my friend’?”
As you can see, this is a frequent conversation we have. “It’s complicated, Cat. He’s Landon and I’m me. Clearly, I’m not like Alessa. We’re completely different from one another.”
Cat sits up when I pat her knee so I can get up. “Yeah, you and Alessa are different.”
“So?” Standing, I make my way over to the coffee pot to turn it on. “It doesn’t change anything.”
“What I mean is you and Alessa are different, but you and Landon aren’t. He can’t do anything without asking for your approval and deep down, you love that because he depends on you. And you’re both alike. Running from a past you want to forget.”
I don’t like to talk about my childhood with anyone, but with Landon, it’s always been natural. Probably because he too lost his parents and then later, his sister. Maybe that’s why we bonded so quickly. The day after Eldon died, I met Landon. Three weeks later, Jenna, Landon’s twin sister died. I think having someone with you to pull you through something like that, who has been through it too, is what made us inseparable. I’ve lost my entire family over the years and I’m here to tell you, death sucks donkey dick. It’s inevitable but it still fucking sucks and having someone there to hold you and reassure you it gets easier, means more than you can ever imagine. He was also there for me during Cat’s accident. He held me the entire night as the two of us spent three days in a waiting room together, not knowing if she would make it through surgery. For that reason, he’s my person.
There’s a knock on our door and Cat jumps up to get it. Swinging the door open, she laughs. I peek my head around the corner to see Landon standing in the hall, no shirt on and holding a chocolate syrup-covered Nalani by the ankles. I’m not even joking. She looks like a cute chocolate-dipped baby. On second thought, after yesterday and the poop incident in Landon’s room, I’m really hoping that’s chocolate because if not, what the fuck is this kid eating to do this?
“Marley thinks she owns the bathroom and this one needs a bath. Can we use yours?”
“Most neighbors ask to borrow sugar, not bathrooms.” With my coffee in hand, I smirk at him and lean into the side of the wall.
Cat swipes her index finger on Nalani’s belly and licks it. By the consistency, it’s definitely chocolate, but I’m surprised Cat just did that. Then again, no, I’m not. She turns to me, smiling. “It’s chocolate.”
“I’m glad this is funny to you, but she’s fuckin’ heavy. Can we use your bathroom?” Landon shifts his weight, trying to hold Nalani as far away from his body as possible but she’s wiggling and smearing chocolate all over Landon, plus her face is turning red from being upside down. I can’t help but focus on his muscles because they’re bulging and all up in my face. I want to smear him in chocolate and then lick every single muscle and tight line on his body. And that cut V on his hips… it’s amazing and my tongue definitely needs to explore that and then descend slowly into Cockridge. In case you don’t know it, it’s a thing or rather a very happy place I like to vacation at in the lower regions of a man. Too bad it’s been, like, a goddamn year since that’s occurred.
Landon grunts. “Unless you plan on licking me clean, stop staring and help me.”
Cat’s laughter fills the foyer and I motion for him to follow me. “I wasn’t staring. I was in disbelief you even have that much chocolate in the house. But then again—” Pausing, I turn to look at him carrying Nalani by the feet while she squirms and tries to free herself. “I shouldn’t be surprised at all.”
“No, you shouldn’t,” he mumbles, the stress in his eyes evident when he walks past me and into the bathroom. “Hold still, kid. You keep moving and I’m going to lose my grip on your feet.”
Sure enough, he does and drops her on the marble floor in my bathroom. Don’t freak out. She hit the bathmat and only dropped maybe three inches. Still, it’s enough that she cries and Landon loses his shit.
“Seriously? Goddamn it. I told you not to move!”
“Okay, relax.” I turn him by the shoulders and make him face me. “Calm down. She’s fine. It probably just scared her.”
We glance down at her, still crying but at least now she’s crawling into the tub and tearfully licking her arms free of chocolate syrup.
Landon stares blankly at me. “I can’t do this, Em. This is fuckin’ crazy. Every morning it’s something else and they’re out of control.”
“They’re kids. They’re all out of control and yes, you can do this.” Reaching down, I turn on the water to the tub and remove Nalani’s diaper. It’s clear a shower is needed, not a bath so I grab the shower head and spray her down with it.
“Yay! Water!” Nalani giggles, clapping her hands in the water.
With a smile, I turn my head over my shoulder to see Landon watching her, the corners of his beautiful kissable lips pulled up in a smile.
“No one said you had to have this all figured out now, Landon. It’s going to take time and once we find a suitable nanny, it’ll be a lot easier for you.”
He nods, but I’m not sure he believes me. I can tell the last few days have weighed on him. Not only is that first week of training camp always hard on him, but then you add in the loss of his brother and the kids and you have one stressed-out guy.
While I’m washing Nalani, I twist my head once again and look back at Landon. He hates to be out of control. Hates it with a passion and these kids make him feel out of control. I can see it written all over his face.
Our eyes catch, and I smile at him. “You’re doing fine.” There’s a faint blackness under his lashes and his cheeks have pink sparkles on them. “What’s on your face?”
“Makeup.” He pauses and bats his eyelashes at me. “Haisley made me a pretty girl for a night.”
#myheartmightburst
I fight the urge to burst out laughing and fall for him a little more. He thinks he’s doing so bad at this, but it’s instances like this that confirm though while he’s an asshole most days, he cares about these kids, whether he wants to admit it or not.
Landon’s expression softens, and I think he’s going to say something when a waft of smell lingers in the bathroom. It’s not a good smell either. Both of us look down at Nalani in the tub.
I’m sure you can take a wild guess as to what the tub looks like. Nalani’s playing with her own shit in the tub. My eyes slide to Landon who drops his head forward, drawing in a deep breath, then immediately gags, regretting it. “Kids are so disgusting.”
“You have a meeting with your agent at eleven, so we need to make this quick,” I tell Landon as we pull up to the house he’s decided to buy.
Landon nods but doesn’t say anything. Instead, he’s taking in the house and the surrounding property.
&n
bsp; You can’t even call this monstrosity a house. It’s a mansion on 1.6 acres. It’s crazy to think he’s just going to sign papers and it’s his. No mortgage. Nothing. Aside from yearly property taxes which in Seattle are about equal to some people’s mortgages, but whatever.
“We’re gonna have to hire a landscaper,” he notes.
“I’m sure I can ask around and see if there’s a good one.”
“Can I pick my room?” Haisley asks, popping her head between the front seats. She’s like a ninja getting out of her booster seat. One minute she’s buckled and the next, she’s practically on your lap.
“I should get first pick,” Marley adds, tucking her cell phone in the back pocket of her overalls.
Adler barrels out of the Escalade next and loudly disagrees with, “No, I should because I’m the only one with a penis in this family.”
As he gets out of the SUV, Landon gives him a “what the fuck” look. “Um, what about me?”
“What about you?”
“I have a penis.”
Haisley stares at Landon’s crotch area and basically pokes him in the dick. “You do?”
Immediately, he backs away, bumping into me in the process, and grabs his junk. “Hey, don’t touch me there.”
Haisley actually looks offended. “Why not?”
“Because you’re not supposed to touch people’s private parts,” Braylee tells her, rolling her eyes as she holds her DS in hand. “You don’t want someone touching your vagina, do you?”
“Who touched whose vagina?” Cat asks, stepping out of the Escalade last. Yep, she decided Landon couldn’t buy a house without her input too. It’s like we’re the fucking Brady Bunch.
Landon leans into my shoulder. “Can we please look, sign the papers, and get this over with?”
“Yes.”
The real estate agent for the property meets us at the house along with Landon’s agent and manager. He had me buy the SUV yesterday but there was no way I was buying a house without him, so that meant his people had to be here for it. They go through all the legal parts and talk to the owners of the property while Landon and I look around.