Forbidden Fruit

by Nika Michelle

  “So, where you goin’ move to? I mean you don’t know nobody nowhere else do you? We ain’t got no family we know of.”

  “Yes we do. We have a cousin named Demetris who’s a little older than me. She moved to North Carolina when we was little kids. Vernice put me in touch wit’ her today. She’s Vernice’s half sister. They haven’t talked in years, but she suggested I give her a call. She felt that she could help me. I called her and she told me I can stay wit’ her until I can find my own place. She promised to look out for me.”

  “Okay, if that’s really what you want to do,” Maya said looking doubtful. I guess she thought I would change my mind, but I didn’t. A couple weeks later I was on my way to Chapel Hill, North Carolina. Maya promised me that she would come down every other weekend and then move with me after I had the baby.

  Six Months Later

  “Damn Yanna, you big as hell bitch,” Maya laughed as I wolfed down a whole helping of lasagna at the Olive Garden.

  North Carolina turned out to be the perfect place to lay low. I had gotten an apartment three months ago in Raleigh, North Carolina. I was living well and still had money left over from my stash. I was glad I’d learned how to save my money. I hadn’t called or heard from Diablo since I’d left Atlanta. Maya filled me in on how he was doing. They still hadn’t found Ace and decided to declare him deceased. A private memorial had been given in his honor at Shamira’s house. Since there was no body they just got him a burial plot and put up a headstone. They hoped that they would one day be able to actually bury him there.

  “What do you expect? I’m due in a few weeks.” I was talking with my mouth full, so I decided to chew and swallow before I spoke again. “Have you talked to Diablo?”

  “Only all the damn time. He’s always askin’ me why I won’t tell him where you at. I keep on telling him the same thing. She don’t want you to know. He thinks you had the abortion, and I didn’t tell him otherwise. I’ll let you handle that yourself.”

  “And I will, soon as I find out.”

  “Uh huh, but back to your fat ass. You better slow down or you ain’t goin’ be able to lose that extra weight. You still excersin’?” She asked sprinkling parmesan cheese on her baked ziti.

  “Excersin’, girl, fuck that. If I end up fat to hell wit’ it. My lil’ man’s goin’ be all the man I need.” I rubbed my belly and smiled. I’d found out that I was carrying a hard head assed boy. Diablo would be happy to know that, if he turned out to be his son of course.

  “Aww, you made a complete turnaround bitch. You act like you enjoy bein’ pregnant,” Maya grinned approvingly at me.

  “It’s so different when you can actually feel the baby move. It makes it more real. It’s like I realize now how serious this is. I just wanna be a good mother. Besides my pregnancy’s been easy. I hope the labor will. That’s the part that scares the shit outta me.” I sipped on my iced tea and sat my fat ass back.

  “Damn, your labor is goin’ be hard. You ain’t had no dick since you got knocked up. You better stretch that mufucka out. Your tight ass goin’ have to get some stitches,” she teased.

  I looked at her and realized she was right. “Girl please. I don’t care ‘bout no dick. Dick is the reason I’m in this predicament right now. I just wanna have this baby, call El, have the blood test done, and get it over with.”

  “I feel you on that.”

  “I wonder if Ablo’ s got another girl. Princess claims he don’t, but she just don’t wanna hurt me. You probably know too, but just don’t wanna tell me.”

  Maya rolled her eyes. “Girl, forget about Diablo. I don’t know shit about what he be doin’. When I go back to Atlanta I go to see my man, and to take Lex to see her daddy. Of course I visit ma. Fuck him for now and concentrate on givin’ birth to a healthy little boy.”

  Maya had been living with me since I got my own place. She was even planning on going to NC State the following year.

  “I want it to be his baby though. Then I can pretend that nothing ever happened with El. Maybe I can talk him into leavin’ that bullshit alone and get him to come here wit’ me and the baby.”

  “You better hope it turns out that way Ayanna. I would hate it if it’s El’s.” She gave me a sympathetic look and squeezed my hand.

  “What really makes me think it’s El’s is the fact that I had been fuckin’ Diablo nonstop for two years without getting pregnant. Then time I fuck El and the condom broke I’m knocked up,” I said.

  “Don’t look at it like that. It ain’t like you ain’t been pregnant by Diablo before. You ain’t considerin’ movin’ back to Atlanta if the baby’s his? Because I can’t keep bouncing back and forth,” Maya said unable to look at me.

  “But you enrolled in school down here. What the fuck you mean…” The baby was kickin’ the hell out of me.

  “You alright?” Maya asked noticing my discomfort.

  “Yeah. My football player’s goin’ for the field goal right now.”

  “I can’t believe you actually havin’ a baby. You lookin’ good though. You still rockin’ that fly ass shit. You the only bitch I know who rock designer maternity shit. Mufuckas checkin’ your big ass out more than me,” Maya laughed.

  “Whatever, fuck men. Ain’t none of ‘em goin’ be holdin’ my hand in the delivery room.”

  “I will…what’s wrong?” Maya asked.

  Tears filled my eyes. I knew she would be there. But the question still remained in my mind. “What did you mean by bouncing back and forth? Didn’t you already enroll at…?”

  “Spellman. I got accepted to Spellman,” she said looking at the floor.

  “Spellman!” I yelled. “Spellman? I thought you was goin’ to…”

  She cut me off again. “I was but…c’mon Yanna. I love you, but I finally found somebody and he’s just what the fuck I need. I love him so much Yanna, and I can’t stand bein’ this far away from him. I like NC, but I’m a Georgia peach for life. After you have the baby I’ll stay for a few weeks, but then I have to go. Don’t be mad.”

  “I’m not, just surprised that’s all. I wouldn’t want you to stop your life for me. You ain’t a little girl no more. You gotta do you. I can’t go back to Atlanta until I find out who my baby’s daddy is. Then again I might not ever go back, unless it’s for your wedding.”

  We laughed.

  “Personally, I’m tired of thugs. That’s why I’m gonna get me a job and move outta that shitty ass apartment. I’m goin’ raise my daughter somewhere nice, and safe. I got goals now Yanna. I’m goin’ give Lex what we never had. She’s gonna have a good example to follow. Do you feel me?” She asked.

  “Yeah, I feel you. So you in love now? You sure Maya?”

  “Yes, I’m sure now. I realize that I didn’t really have much in common wit’ Ju or Mel. You ‘bout to be a mom. I’m in love for real. Ju’s in Lex’s life and I don’t have to live a lie no more. Princess and Tre’ back together. Some things have changed for the better. It’s fucked up about Ace though. I wonder what happened,” Maya said.

  “I don’t know. It’s crazy.”

  “Yeah, it is,” Maya agreed.

  “I really miss Diablo Maya. I regret what happened with El. Getting that kinda revenge just won’t worth it.” I shook my head with shame. “How’s mama?”

  “Ma’s good. She was released from the facility a few weeks ago. I forgot to tell you. She got a nice apartment. She seem to be pretty happy. I’m glad she finally off that shit.” Maya sat back in her seat with a satisfied smile on her face.

  “How the hell did ma afford to get an apartment Maya?” The question wiped the smile from her face. “She don’t get that much disability. Is the apartment Section 8 or sumthin’?”

  I noticed the look on Maya’s face. She was squirming uncomfortably in her seat and I knew she was hiding something. “What is it Maya? What the fuck is it?

  “Uh look Yanna. Please don’t get mad. I didn’t want ma in that place anymore either.”

  “What
Maya, spill it,” I said giving her a look that could’ve killed.

  “I had talked to Diablo about a month ago. He offered to help ma. I didn’t want to ask you ‘cause I know you expectin’ the baby and all. She needed a place to stay, so he pay all her bills. Don’t get mad Yanna, ‘cause I…”

  “What? I told you not to let him do no favors for ma ‘cause she might slip up and tell him where I am. You’re so damned hard headed. You know ma’s easily manipulated by Diablo. Damn. I wouldn’t have minded fittin’ the bill for ma. You know that. What if Ablo offered to give her money to tell him where I am? You think about that Maya? And what if wit’ all this freedom and money that Ablo’s givin’ her she relapse. I know I should’ve brought her with me.”

  “I knew you’d be mad.”

  “Damn right I’m fuckin’ mad. You don’t think sometimes.”

  Maya looked at me. “I’m sorry, damn, what you want me to do?”

  “I’m sorry Maya. I just didn’t want him involved like that. I don’t want him to know where I am. That’s all.”

  “I just wanted to put ma somewhere nice. Not no Section 8 or project apartment in a drug infested neighborhood. Ain’t no crack or heroin within’ a fifteen mile radius of where she lives. They even got security out there. There’s no way you can afford to pay her bills wit’ a baby on the way. Babies ain’t cheap. So what you goin’ do?” Maya asked eager to change the subject.

  “About what?” I asked. “You ready to go?”

  “Yeah.” She said and threw a tip on the table. We paid the bill and left.

  “You know your money’s gonna run out eventually. It’s very expensive to raise a baby. What you goin’ do about money?” Maya asked.

  I shrugged my shoulders. I really hadn’t given it much thought. I’d never worked a day in my life. Not any honest, legal work anyway. I only had street knowledge and that had seemed really rusty lately. Living a nice calm life had showed me that my life hadn’t been as wonderful as I’d once thought.

  “You don’t know? What you mean you don’t know? Well how much money you got left?” She asked.

  “I got enough Maya.”

  “Enough for what Maya? Enough for now? Enough for the rest of your life?”

  “Gosh Maya, why?” I asked unlocking the doors with the remote key.

  We got into the car and buckled up. I drove off and Maya sat there in silence.

  She finally spoke. “I’m concerned Yanna. You ain’t never worked and you probably don’t want to. Maybe you should consider getting back together with Diablo. He’d take care of the baby even if it ain’t his. If he don’t believe it’s his just tell him that you were raped, and that’s why you left. Shit, he don’t have to know about you and El.”

  I looked at Maya. She was dead ass serious. “You can’t be for real.”

  “Yes, I am. Shit, c’mon Yanna. It’s not as easy as you think. Your baby is gonna have lots and lots of needs. You might not be able to afford takin’ care of him on your own. It’s a lot harder than it looks. Believe me.”

  “I can handle me and my child Maya. Don’t worry. If times get hard I’ll find a job. I don’t know what I’ll do if it is Ablo’s. He’s gonna wanna know why I left and I’ll cross that bridge when I get there. Okay?”

  We rode in silence for about ten minutes. I couldn’t believe that Maya was quiet.

  “Why you so quiet?” I asked her.

  “Oh, nothing,” she said.

  I laughed. “You’re such a liar.” That’s when the sharp pain hit me in the pit of my stomach. “Oh shit,” I whispered under my breath. Another pain shot through, but it was

  stronger. “Oh my God!” I screamed as the pains hit me faster and harder.

  “You okay?” Maya asked. She looked like she was more scared than I was.

  “No. Contractions. I think the baby’s coming a little early.”

  “Pull over Yanna. I’m gonna drive you to the hospital.”

  I pulled over and we switched seats. Before I could reach over and buckle my seatbelt I felt a wet gush between my legs. “My water broke,” I told Maya.

  “Hold on big sis,” Maya said and stepped on the gas.

  * * *

  Sixteen hours and fourteen minutes later Diontae Cuecell Perez was born. He weighed eight pounds, ten ounces and was 21 inches long. When the doctors handed him over to me I cried like a baby. I didn’t even need a blood test. I already knew. He was without a doubt the son of Diablo Perez.

  “Girl, he look just like Ablo. He’s gonna be so happy when you tell him he got a son.”

  “Yeah, but what if he just look so much like Diablo ‘cause I want him to. What if by the time he’s three or four he start lookin’ like El.”

  “You just bein’ paranoid. He look too much like Diablo and you know it. He could not deny him,” Maya said smiling from ear to ear. “So, when you goin’ tell him.”

  “After I have the blood test done. El’s gonna be up here in a couple weeks.”

  “So you still goin’ do it.” Maya shook her head. “It don’t even have to come to that.”

  “Yes it does Maya. I want no doubts about this being Diablo’s son. Okay. Case closed.”

  * * *

  El came to North Carolina two weeks later to have the blood test done. When he saw me he smiled that sexy ass smile of his.

  “Damn, you don’t look like you just had a baby.” He licked his lips. “How ‘bout we try for another one.”

  Instead of being turned on I felt repulsed.

  “Whatever you say El. We here for one reason and one reason only. So don’t talk to me,” I said and rolled my eyes at him.

  He laughed. “What you mad at me for. I ain’t make you fuck me.”

  “No you didn’t, but you can respect me. It ain’t like that between us. It was one time, and that’s it. I don’t need you to do shit else for me. All I need is your DNA. If I don’t call you he ain’t yours. Okay.”

  El shrugged his shoulders. “Whatever you say. I hope you have a happy fuckin’ family.”

  I rolled my eyes at him. I was glad when I finally left the clinic and headed home. El went his way and I went mine. We had forty eight hours to wait for the results.

  * * *

  “He’s Diablo’s,” I told Maya as I stared at the piece of paper with the results of the DNA test.

  “Told you,” she said. “Now call your man and tell him he got a son that look just like him.”

  “I don’t know if I can right now,” I said.

  “What? Look Yanna, Diablo loves you. Peanut is his son. Go back to Atlanta and be a family. It’s over.”

  “Do you think it’s really that easy? Tell me how I am goin’ to explain why I left? He’s gonna wanna know why I didn’t let him know that I was still pregnant. I don’t know if I wanna tell him. I don’t really wanna expose my son to Diablo’s lifestyle.”

  Maya rolled her eyes at me. “Girl, Ablo goin eat that boy up. You know how bad he wants a son. Shit, he already look just like him. You can’t deny him the right to know his father Yanna. You gotta tell him, even if you don’t wanna go back to Atlanta.” Tears glistened in her eyes. “Even though I’m gonna miss you.”

  “We’ll visit each other okay,” I said with tears in my eyes too. I did love Diablo, but he had hurt me too many times. I had fucked one person and felt like shit. I didn’t understand how he hurt me so easily when I was going through hell. “Part of me wonders if Diablo was ever the one for me. I don’t think I can be wit’ him again Maya.”

  “Then at least let him know about his son. I did it to Ju, and I regret every minute he lost out of Lex’s life. Give him a chance to be a daddy to his child. Call him.” She handed me my cell phone.

  “I’m scared. I haven’t talked to him in so long,” I whined.

  “Call him, or I will,” Maya warned me.

  I took the phone and dialed his number. After five rings I was about to hang up. Then I heard his familiar voice.