Black Of Mood (Quentin Black: Shadow Wars #2): Quentin Black World

by JC Andrijeski

  No. I could almost see Charles shake his head. His thoughts grew more subdued. No, Miri, not all the time. And even when he’s affected by them, he’s still himself in most regards. He may not know everything he’s doing or why, and he might not be able to remember everywhere he’s been, but they cannot erase who he is totally. It’s more that they can manipulate who he is to get what they want from him. Not dissimilar to how seers push humans.

  Pausing, he added, Well, in the early stages, that is true, at least. Grigiore managed to erase most of the Ariana we once knew. But that took years, Miri.

  His thoughts remained blunt, stripped of feeling.

  I am truly sorry you found out this way, Miri. And I’m sorry you were not consulted as to our plans prior to their enactment. It’s how your husband wanted it. If you had more experience in such things, no doubt he would have included you in the formal operation. As it is...

  He trailed, not finishing the thought.

  Then again, he didn’t need to.

  I understood. I understood just fine.

  When the silence stretched, my uncle gentled his voice.

  I know, Miri, he sent, blowing warmth at me. I know how difficult this must be to hear. But please... trust us. Trust him. He is trying to protect you, in his way. It is perhaps the only way he knows how. Try not to judge his actions too harshly, if you can. If he killed Horne, Garrison and the others, he likely doesn’t remember it. Even in the beginning, Ariana couldn’t recall much of her time with Grigiore, either.

  He paused, his voice holding a harder caution. ...But anything I told her went straight to him. I found that out the hard way, too.

  I heard the implications in his words that time, too.

  Still thinking, I shook my head, pursing my lips. How am I supposed to pretend I don’t know this? How can I possibly act like nothing is wrong?

  You must find a way. Charles’ thoughts remained hard, uncompromising. His life depends on it, Miriam. If you don’t think you can do it, then you need to tell me right now. At my silence, he added in a denser mutter, It’s that, or we pull him entirely. But if we do that, everything he’s done up until now is completely wasted. We’ll be back to square one. He’ll have suffered all this time for nothing. Worse, we’ll have squandered a huge opportunity––

  My thoughts cut in, blunt. Yes. I get it, Charles. I understand.

  Biting my lip, I blinked back another wave of emotion.

  When my vision cleared, I fought to think past my personal feelings.

  I knew he was right. Black wouldn’t thank me if I ended this prematurely.

  How much longer? I sent finally.

  Charles remained silent at first.

  Then his sighed tiredly inside my mind.

  Honestly? I don’t know. When we were last able to speak freely, Black told me he thought it might be soon. But it’s extremely tricky, Miriam, in terms of logistics. We are able to bring him back, but then we must erase our conversations, to keep the vampires from knowing through his blood what he is doing. So, for much of the time, he is not aware of the operation he is conducting at all... not consciously, at least.

  I nodded, even as a cold finger pierced my chest, slanting out my vision.

  The more I thought about it, the more it hit me just how insanely dangerous this was. If Black didn’t know he was running an op, he was a lot more likely to make mistakes.

  One of those mistakes might get him killed.

  Still running through landscape I could only halfway see, I struggled to breathe. I struggled to think.

  But it was too much.

  My mind couldn’t handle everything it fought to comprehend.

  The trafficking Black had been fighting for years. The children. My uncle and everything that happened while we were in Thailand. What Charles did to Black in Paris. That seer hitman, Solonik. My ex-fiancé, Ian.

  Black himself, thin and covered in bites, sweating while he slept, moaning. Sometimes he was shouting when I woke up, his voice filled with rage.

  I understood now, why Charles had been so reluctant to kill Ian and Solonik. He saw any seer with military training, no matter how crazy or dangerous, as an asset he could use in his war against the vampires.

  Remembering Grigiore and the female seer with the hollowed-out eyes, I couldn’t even say for certain I disagreed with him.

  Not anymore.

  WHEN I FINALLY managed to refocus my eyes, the Jackie-O reservoir was back on my left.

  We’d returned to where we started.

  Even as I thought it, Ravi and Dex stepped out onto the path in front of us.

  They didn’t block our path, but made themselves visible, wearing suits and sunglasses and looking like F.B.I. agents, or maybe like Secret Service. After a bare second’s hesitation, where I considered making another loop around the reservoir itself, I began slowing my strides.

  A few seconds after that, I came to a stop in front of them.

  Ravi watched me as I walked in a circle, hands on my waist. I turned off my MP3 player when I noticed it was still playing, realizing I hadn’t listened to a single song. Pulling my hood off my ponytail, I took my earbuds out and began stretching my legs. When I glanced over at the others, Ravi was grinning at Cowboy, jokingly asking him if he was all right.

  I frowned, noticing Cowboy for the first time.

  His black Sex Pistols shirt was soaked in sweat. His blond hair was as well, and stuck out all over his head as he threw his head back, gasping to catch his breath. Each exhale made a plume of steam in the morning air.

  When Ravi burst out in a laugh, Dex joined him, grinning.

  “You okay?” he teased Cowboy. “Need some oxygen? Maybe a walker?”

  Cowboy glanced at me, still fighting to catch his breath. Then he glared at Dex, bending down, hands pressed into the muscles of his thighs to support his upper body.

  “You try keeping up with her, brother,” he said in annoyance, still fighting back gasps. “Next time I’ll sit on my ass here, watch one of you jackrabbit after her... see how funny it is then.”

  The others broke out in more chuckles.

  I fought to join their smiles, hoping the look on my face appeared remotely normal.

  Looking at Cowboy, I tried to decide whether I should apologize. Had I really been running that fast? It was hard to pull my mind off the conversation with Charles well enough to care.

  When Cowboy looked over at me, he smiled.

  “Where to now, sister?” His voice reverted to that dry humor of his, despite his heavy breathing. “You want to make me run after the car for awhile?” Dex burst out in another laugh, and Cowboy smiled faintly at me. “Maybe you’d rather go back to the hotel and beat me up in the ring for a spell, instead?”

  He was joking. Obviously.

  Even so, I hesitated, turning over his second suggestion in my mind. Usually I practiced that kind of thing with Dex or Javier when Black was around. He’d told me Cowboy was faster than either of them, though. I definitely needed to spend more time on sight skills, including in the ring. I needed to work on blocking, especially.

  More than that, I needed time to think.

  I definitely wasn’t ready to go back to the suite yet; I needed my head clear before I saw Black. Honestly, I wasn’t sure how I would ever be ready, no matter how much time I gave myself.

  Memories of the night before tried to rise, but I shoved them back angrily that time. I forced the pain back, too, suppressing it violently when it tried to take over my light.

  I had to be ready. I just had to be.

  I met Cowboy’s gaze.

  “Would you mind?” I said. “With the sparring, I mean.”

  Ravi burst out in another laugh. Dex grinned wider.

  Cowboy shook his head, smiling as if in spite of himself. “No, ma’am. I don’t mind.”

  Ravi grinned, nudging Cowboy’s arm. “She’s really got it in for you, cousin. What did you do to her, anyway?” When I glanced at him, the older seer grinned
at me as well. “Actually, I think I might know what she has in mind,” he said, winking. “Want some seer help with that, Dr. Fox? With the, err, less conventional strategies I imagine your husband has been teaching you? Efraim and I would be more than happy to lend a hand... your husband has a few meetings scheduled this morning, does he not?”

  I glanced at him, hesitating. I remembered Black asking me specifically not to work with Ravi. He’d been pretty damned clear about his wishes there.

  Then again, he’d also been talking about sight-work––not sparring. I definitely got the sense it was the potentially intimate nature of sight training that Black objected to, since a trainer had to access the thoughts and memories of their student to be effective.

  There was nothing particularly intimate about getting better at punching and kicking someone in the ring.

  Anyway, Arden wasn’t around.

  “Sure,” I said, after a too-long pause. “That would be great. Thanks.”

  Ravi nodded, motioning with a hand in the direction of the street.

  “After you, sister,” he said politely.

  Pushing any lingering misgivings out of my mind, I began to walk, aiming my feet for the nearest SUV with blacked-out windows.

  Behind me, Cowboy followed, still huffing slightly.

  When Dex pounded him good-naturedly on the back as he passed, Cowboy scowled, shoving the other man off and earning another round of chuckles from the watching seers and humans.

  16

  FIGHTING

  “THIS IS TOTALLY your fault, you know,” Angel informed him, nudging Black with an arm. “All of this angst you’re feeling right now? It’s on you, buddy. Only you.”

  Black didn’t look over.

  His eyes remained on the cluster of people gathered around the elevated boxing ring. He watched his wife’s hands and feet in rote, fighting to concentrate on the strategy behind it, on what she was doing, what she was anticipating, but he couldn’t quite do it.

  He found himself looking at Ravi instead, aware of the connection between the two of them, even as he kept his own light dimmed.

  Music blared from the overhead speakers, some kind of industrial noise that went well with punching and kicking things. It was louder over by the ring, serving to encase the crowd there in a kind of bubble around the two fighters.

  “You’re an idiot,” Angel added. “ID-I-OT.” Nudging him a second time, she leaned deeper against the metal railing separating them from the foam mats on the gym’s floor, gripping a cup of coffee in one hand. “You know she wore that dress for you last night, right? That garter? Those shoes? She’s been trying to get your attention for weeks, dumbass.”

  He turned slowly, staring at her.

  Seeing the faint smile on her full lips, he clicked at her in irritation.

  “Bullshit,” he said, blunt. “I asked her to dress up. It was work.”

  “Idiot,” Angel repeated. “Moron.”

  She watched his face. He could feel her debating how far to push him. He hoped it wasn’t far. He definitely wasn’t in the fucking mood.

  Abruptly, her voice lost its humor.

  “Seriously, Black. What’s up with you? Miri hasn’t said much, but I have eyes. I have ears, too. You were being a dick last night.” Pausing when he scowled at her a second time, she waited through a few seconds of his silence. When he didn’t speak, she added, “That blond chick grabbing you wasn’t your fault, but you playing single guy at the bar most of the night sure as hell was. No wonder Miri snapped. She has a hell of a lot more patience than me.” Angel grunted, taking a sip of coffee. “I would have left with one of those douche-bros hanging on her all night, if it was me... just to teach you a lesson.”

  Waiting through another few seconds, she added,

  “You ignored her for weeks. You ignored her last night until she nearly killed someone.” Waiting a beat, she added, “You didn’t tell Steele you were married. You didn’t even mention Miri in that interview. You didn’t say her name once––”

  “That wasn’t my decision,” he cut in, giving her a warning look.

  Angel’s eyes grew skeptical. “Riiight.”

  His voice hardened more. “Ask her, if you don’t believe me.”

  Angel frowned, glancing towards the ring where Cowboy and Miri were circling one another again. Angel watched them through a few sequences of back and forth, exchanging blows and blocks, until Cowboy backed off, switching his stance.

  She returned her gaze to Black. After studying his face for a moment, she sighed.

  “Well... whatever. I’m not the only one who’s noticed something off with you two. You’re not having second thoughts about this marriage thing, are you?”

  At that, his jaw hardened to granite.

  Tearing his eyes off where Miriam had just aimed a kick at Cowboy’s thigh, her light entwined in Ravi’s, who stared avidly up at her from below the ring, shouting instructions at her, Black faced Angel, leaning his weight on the metal bar.

  “Are you really fucking giving me relationship advice right now?” His voice grew a few shades colder. “How’s your love life, Ang? In fact, where’s Anthony right now? Wasn’t he supposed to be here this weekend?”

  Her amusement faded.

  So did the concern he’d felt behind it.

  Gritting her teeth, she took a breath, as if forcing herself to count to three before she spoke. Taking another sip from the gourmet coffee cup she clutched in one hand, she averted her gaze. He watched her go back to studying the two figures circling one another in the ring.

  Somehow, he couldn’t make himself leave it there, though.

  “Oh,” he added, his voice more surgical. “And how’s Cowboy? You made up your mind if you’re going to fuck him yet?”

  She turned on him, frowning. “Excuse me?”

  “You heard me.”

  “I heard you. I’d like to know what the hell you’re talking about, Black.”

  “You know exactly what I’m talking about.”

  Her eyes hardened more. “Let’s pretend I don’t.”

  “He wants you,” Black said, blunt. “You know damned well he wants you. And you’re interested...” When she flushed, opening her mouth in fury, he held up a hand, his voice cold. “Spare me, okay? I’m a fucking seer, Ang. You really want to go there with me?” He shook his head. “And fine, whatever, none of my business, right? You two can jerk off at the thought of banging one another all you like. It’s annoying, but hey, it’s not like you’re the only one around here who’s thought about tapping that...”

  When she opened her mouth again, he hardened his voice.

  “...But then I just happened to notice you signed up for regular duty with him. You asked Dex to make him your goddamned partner. Because... what? That won’t complicate things? No way Cowboy will read anything into that––”

  “That was for Nick,” she said, warning. “Nick asked me to keep a closer eye on Miri. He said you had him working some other bullshit, so I told him I would do it. And stay out of my goddamned head, by the way, before I shoot you––”

  “I would have switched you out with Cowboy if you’d asked. You didn’t ask.”

  “Fine.” She made a sweeping motion with her hand. “So switch us out, then.”

  “No,” he growled, glaring at her. “Not now. The schedule is set... and don’t ask Dex to change it, either. The answer is no.” At her disbelieving look, he added, “A little friendly ‘advice,’ Ang, since you seem so quick to dispense it in my direction? Maybe take this opportunity to decide which one of them you actually want... and stop yanking them both around by the dick.”

  Letting out a disbelieving sound, she stared at him. “Are you kidding me right now?”

  “Do I look like I’m fucking kidding?” he growled. “Cowboy’s my friend. I also happen to like Anthony. Maybe stop acting like I’m the one having ‘second thoughts’ about this ‘marriage thing,’ and look to your own goddamned house.”

  Gruntin
g, he averted his gaze, taking a long drink from his own coffee. Lowering the cup, he scowled at her again.

  “You’d better do it soon. Anthony’s not as stupid as you seem to think. And Cowboy won’t wait around forever. If he was half as bisexual as most of the seers around here, he’d probably be fucking someone else already.”

  She stared at him, her eyes holding disbelief, along with a deepening fury. He felt a plume of harder anger leave her, right before she averted her gaze.

  He also felt her bite back a more caustic remark.

  “What?” he growled. “Say it.” When she only shook her head, he hardened his voice. “I can read you for it, you know.”

  “Fine.” She rested her arms on the bannister, her light-brown eyes flat. “For your information, I’m not the one Cowboy wants,” she said coldly. She jerked her chin towards the boxing ring, raising an eyebrow at him meaningfully.

  Letting that sink in for a beat, she added,

  “As for the rest of it, it might interest you to know I wasn’t just yanking your chain, Black. I actually give a shit. And not only about Miri.” When he scowled, looking away, she raised her voice. “I can tell something’s not right with you. I’m not the only one, either.”

  Motioning towards the cluster of people under the ring, she grunted.

  “But you go right on deflecting. It’s obviously working so well for you right now. Keep pretending you don’t care half of your staff is watching your wife do high kicks in short-shorts. Or that your buddy Cowboy has his hands all over her, whether they’re ‘sparring’ or not. I’m sure it’s a lot more fun to beat up on me, just for trying to talk to you. Maybe you’d rather if I was shit-scared of you, too, like most of your employees––”

  “I asked her to work on sparring,” Black growled. “I asked her to, Angel.”

  “Then why the hell are you hiding over here with me?”

  Black’s jaw hardened.

  Thinking about her words, he grimaced. Without meeting her gaze, he turned on his heel, aiming his feet for the boxing ring. He didn’t look to see if she followed him.

  He didn’t bother speaking to anyone when he walked up to the ring, either. He just stood there, arms folded over his chest, still fighting to control his anger, despite the smiles and nods he got from those who noticed him.