I stared across that row of white faces again.
It struck me that none of them had spoken at all, apart from Ravi and Dorian.
None had so much as moved from the positions I remembered them standing in when we first entered the room. A few were looking at Cowboy and I with significantly more lust in their eyes now, likely from witnessing Dorian feed.
That was the only real change I saw in any of them.
I reached out with my mind.
Charles?
I sent the name tentatively at first. Feeling around in that light-like void, I touched nothing but empty space. I concentrated on my uncle’s presence, putting more muscle behind my thoughts, trying to reach him.
CHARLES! UNCLE CHARLES!! CAN YOU HEAR ME? THEY HAVE BLACK. THEY HAVE HIM, AND I’M TRAPPED… I NEED YOUR HELP!
Nothing.
Inside that darkness, I felt nothing.
No one’s thoughts stirred that space, not even Cowboy’s.
I didn’t feel so much as a whisper of presence.
“Your uncle cannot hear you right now, Miriam,” Ravi said. When I turned, staring at him, he shook his head. “It’s not his fault. We were forced to take him out of play this morning. I’m afraid Charles is one variable we could not accommodate today.”
At something in my expression, he raised his hand, making a kind of peace gesture.
“As far as I know, he is still alive, and back at the hotel. Your husband knocked him out and locked him in a closet of your suite. He was under orders to neutralize Charles, were he to attempt to retrieve memories about our plans today.”
I looked at Black in disbelief, but Ravi kept talking, his voice annoyed.
“Truthfully, you can thank your husband for Charles’ life, not me. I likely would have told him explicitly to kill Charles, had I known your husband would show him such mercy. Usually he is somewhat less… well, restrained. When we give him orders of this kind.”
Still gauging my face cautiously, Ravi shook his head, almost in warning.
“Miri, we didn’t want to do it this way.” He exhaled in a sigh, his hands on his hips. “Even Brick did not wish for this. He sought a peaceful resolution with both of you. Even in the labs and that prison, he only used your husband so badly because he had no choice. He needed his help. He needed it, Miri. Our people were being tortured. They were being imprisoned and murdered en masse.”
Sighing again, Ravi glanced at Black, frowning.
“Our king wished peace after that,” he added, gruff. “He attempted to compensate him fairly, for every inconvenience you and your husband were caused. But it wasn’t enough for you husband. He wouldn’t allow peace. In refusing to meet us halfway, your husband forced our hand. He gave us no choice but to take drastic measures.” Sighing again, Ravi continued to frown at Black, as if he were a disobedient dog. “He is a very stubborn creature, your husband. Too stubborn for his own good, frankly. Even with the blood-link, he is… difficult. But your kind is often challenging to control, and we had little time to bring him to heel.”
I looked at Black, at his motionless face and body.
He still hadn’t looked at me, or at Cowboy.
If he knew we were talking about him, there was no hint of it on his face.
Pain hit at me, worsening as I studied those calm, unfazed eyes.
“What do you want from me?” I said, still staring at Black’s face. “You want something, right? You’ll hurt him, if I don’t give it to you?”
I bit my lip, turning on Ravi.
I knew my desperation was probably audible in my voice.
“I assume it’s something you can’t just force me to do,” I said, folding my arms. “Or I’d be kneeling on the carpet next to my husband. I assume you can’t force Black to do it either, or, given his current state, I suspect you wouldn’t need me at all.” I tightened my arms across my chest. “So? What is it? You already know I’ll do whatever I can to protect him.”
I paused, glancing over the sea of vampire faces. The redhead smirked when I paused on her. Folding her arms, she began giving me a deliberate once-over.
I didn’t wait for her to finish.
I focused back on Ravi.
“That’s how these things always work with your kind, isn’t it?” I said. “You call it negotiation, but there’s never any real negotiation, is there? You inflict pain. You keep inflicting pain until you get the answer you want.”
I paused, looking for any hint on Ravi’s face.
Ravi frowned, shaking his head. He held up both hands, almost a surrender position.
“Miri, please. Please, my friend. I do not wish to cause any more pain to you or yours. I do know you are loyal to your mate, and while I’d hoped to gain your attention that way… I’d also hope to gain your trust by not abusing that knowledge.” Exhaling a sigh, he lowered his hands back to his sides. “Let us talk about this reasonably, shall we?”
“Fine,” I said. “Let’s talk reasonably. You understand that if you kill Black, you kill me, correct? Or didn’t you know that about our kind?”
Ravi sighed, his hands on his hips. “We are aware of that, yes.”
“And you know that my uncle is more powerful now, than he was when he signed that initial truce with your people?”
Lincoln frowned. That time, a real flash of annoyance crossed his expression.
“Yes.” He shrugged. “We are aware of that, too.”
I looked down at Black, feeling that heavier pain throb in my chest.
“Don’t hurt him,” I said, my voice blunt. “Please don’t fucking hurt him anymore.” I bit my tongue, looking at the vampire’s face. Seeing sympathy in those crystal-like eyes, I shook my head, letting out an angry exhale. “Just tell me what you and Brick want. You already know I’ll probably do it.”
“I am sorry, Miriam.”
“No you’re not,” I said, my jaw hardening more.
There was a silence.
In it, Ravi gauged my face, his expression hesitant, as if he were still choosing words, or perhaps contemplating a different approach altogether. I saw him glance at a clock on the wall made up of orange and green triangles and squares. He exchanged looks with the redhead in the short skirt, who shrugged.
Ravi scowled as he looked back at me.
“What we want is somewhat complicated, Miriam.”
I folded my arms. “I’m reasonably sure I can keep up.”
Sighing, he shook his head. “It’s not that. I am simply not certain I am the right person to explain this to you.”
“Who is?” I said. “Brick? Is that who you’re waiting for?”
Again, Ravi glanced at the clock. Looking back at me, he sighed again.
“We want your help,” he said simply.
“You want my help?” I stared between him and the woman with the long red hair. “Who does? You? Brick? This bitch?” I jerked my chin at the redhead. “What is it with you fucking vampires and your ‘favors’? Why even call them that? Are you really deluded enough to think Black did that work for you at the prison as some kind of charity move on his part?”
“What about what you did for us, Miriam?” Ravi said, blunt. “What about what you did for Brick? For our very king?”
I stared at him, clenching my jaw. “What the fuck are you talking about? All I did for Brick was blow up some of his warehouses. And threaten him, to get Black back.”
Ravi’s expression remained grim, his eyes watching mine. “You really don’t remember, do you? Black told us he erased it, but I couldn’t quite believe it, frankly. Nor could Brick.”
My frown deepened. I looked from him to Black. “Black erased me? When?”
Ravi sighed. “He said he had to. He said you had nightmares… specifically about what you saw in her mind before she died. Unfortunately, according to him, the nightmares didn’t stop after he erased you. You could no longer remember where the memories originated, but you continued to dream about her, and about those labs.”
I frowned, looking between him and Black in genuine bewilderment. I glanced at the redhead, connecting her to the pronoun he’d used.
“Who are you talking about? Whose mind was I reading?”
“Lila’s,” Ravi said patiently. “Brick’s wife.”
I gaped at him. “Brick’s wife?”
“Yes,” Ravi said. His voice remained grim, matter of fact. “You agreed to help Brick diagnose her after she was freed from those butcher’s labs. She is now deceased, and thankfully out of her misery. What they did to her was an abomination.” Ravi’s lips curled in anger. “Your husband erased the whole incident from your mind, Miriam. He also erased a good portion of the weeks directly after, as well. When I read his thoughts through his blood…”
I grimaced, but Ravi didn’t pause.
“…he told us you suffered some kind of breakdown. That you woke to nightmares for weeks until he erased it. He was worried for you.”
I felt my jaw harden.
Looking at Black, I felt a surge of anger so intense I briefly couldn’t control it. I wanted to believe Ravi was lying. I wanted to believe that desperately––but I couldn’t. I knew what he was saying was true.
Black let me think I was imagining things for weeks.
He acted like he had no idea what I was talking about, when I told him about that woman in my dreams. When I told him I couldn’t remember much from the period right after he got back from that prison, he said I was imagining things, too. He claimed any gaps I might have were simply a product of emotional exhaustion.
He gaslighted me.
He fucking gaslighted me.
It was almost the textbook definition of gas-lighting someone––pretending I was crazy for believing something I knew, deep down, to be true.
There was another silence.
In it, Ravi only looked at me. Then he sighed. “Miri, I’m sure Black had his reasons for doing what he did. Frankly, you might understand our motives better, too, if you knew what your human government did in those labs.” He held my gaze, his mouth hard. “Those experiments put our entire species in danger, Dr. Fox. You cannot expect us to simply sit by, and allow another race to plot genocide against us?”
I stared at him, then looked at Black.
“Why would you come to me about this?” I said, shaking my head. “I don’t have access to the military––certainly not the way Black does. I left years ago. And I was never connected at a high level in the first place, apart from the limited interactions I’ve had with Black’s people, and a few friends I made while I still served. As far as I know, that lab was above Black’s security clearance anyway. He tried to get data from them, and he couldn’t––”
“We know all of that,” Ravi said, raising a hand to interrupt me.
“Then what do you want from me?”
Swallowing, I glanced at Black. Remembering what he’d told me about his parents, I felt that pain in my gut worsen.
Maybe Nick was right about him all along.
Maybe Black really was a sociopath, if he could lie to me so easily. Or maybe Ravi was the liar, and Black only did those things because vampires forced him to. Looking at Black now, that didn’t ring true to me, though. When I shifted my gaze to the vampires watching me, seeing the hunger in their eyes, it struck me that I may never know the truth now.
“It is human nature,” Ravi said. “It is human nature to try and destroy those who frighten them.” He added, “You must see where these experiments and aggressions will lead. There is no way this will bode well for your race, either, once the humans have been alerted to the existence of mine. You cannot truly believe seers can remain hidden forever.”
He paused. His voice turned blunt. “All but a few of the vampire subjects of those experiments are dead. All but two of those who lived are insane.”
I turned, my eyes hard. “Maybe it’s karma. Did you think of that?”
He just looked at me for a moment.
Then he smiled, seemingly involuntarily.
“Fair enough,” he conceded. “But all beings must eat. And we each must look out for our own. Certainly you can’t disagree with that?”
I shook my head. “I wouldn’t assume that I agree.”
A faint smile touched his lips, but he didn’t answer.
Frowning, I looked at Black.
“You still haven’t said what you want,” I reminded Ravi.
Ravi glanced at the clock. Again, he shrugged, meeting my gaze. “I should think that would be obvious. We want your help with the humans.”
“‘The humans’?” I said, frowning, turning. “Which humans? I already told you. I don’t have access to anyone in the military who could help you.”
Ravi sighed, frustration twisting his expression. Raising a hand, he used it to massage his temples before looking at me again, his eyes holding a touch more scarlet.
“Not the military,” he said, shaking his head. “Not exactly.”
“Then which humans? Who are you talking about?”
“All of them,” he said grimly.
I BLINKED, STARING at him. Then I was thinking, turning over his words. Shaking my head at the way my mind wanted to interpret them, I frowned.
“It’s perfectly clear, Miriam,” Ravi said, his voice holding a touch of warning. “We aren’t proposing genocide against the human race. We aren’t proposing anything remotely like that. They are our food source, are they not? That gives them some protection.”
Inclining his head, he exhaled, folding his arms.
“We are simply acknowledging the obvious. Neither of our two races can expect to operate under the radar of humankind for much longer. That single fact requires a shift in ideology… and of strategy. Including between seers and vampires.”
Pausing, he gauged my face.
“We are at a tipping point, Miriam. Surely you see that? The humans are on the verge of waging war against both of our races. Their governments are increasingly operating outside of the law. They are developing technologies that are starting to pose a real threat––not only to vampires but to seers, too, as well as to other humans. That window is closing, in terms of our ability to stop them before the threat grows stronger than we are. Therefore, we wish to join forces. To tackle this problem of human overreach head-on.”
Ravi glanced at Black, a touch of anger reaching his clear eyes.
“Given his background with the human military here, it seemed prudent to approach these negotiations indirectly, in the beginning at least.”
“‘Indirectly’?” I let my voice fill with scorn. “Interesting euphemism. I have to assume you mean by feeding from my husband and using your mind-fuck powers to get you access to his contacts in the Pentagon?”
Ravi shrugged. “I’d have to say that’s an accurate translation, yes.”
“So why are you talking to me?” I said, my frustration worsening. “Why not go to Charles? I don’t lead the seers any more than I have influence over human governments.” Realizing how true that was, how peripheral my role in all of this, I scowled. “I don’t know who you think I am, but believe me, Charles would never listen to me about this.”
Feeling my jaw harden as I thought over his words, I clicked my tongue, barely noticing that I did it. I dimmed my thoughts at the same time. Of course, they likely already knew I was half-human already, from reading Black through his blood.
Even so, Black had warned me emphatically and repeatedly, as had Charles, that the vampires would absolutely see my mixed-race blood as a threat. If they found out humans and seers could breed, they would likely try to wipe us out for real.
Folding my arms, I deepened my scowl, aiming it at him.
“If I’m just some bargaining chip for you to use to influence Black and Charles, why bother with explanations? Is this some narcissistic need to be understood? Or random gloating?”
A smile played at the corner of his lips. “Not exactly, no.” He paused, studying my face. “Miri, you are not as insignificant as you would
apparently like me to believe. Far from it.” Pausing, he added, blunt, “Given our conversation earlier, I must assume you won’t remember this either… but Brick took some of your blood when he brought you to meet his wife, Lila. He ran a number of tests on that blood. He did this partly based on a rumor he heard… from one of your uncle’s seers.” Turning his head, Ravi frowned down at Efraim’s body, then looked back at me. “Can you guess what that rumor might have been?”
I bit my tongue. Controlling my expression, I shook my head. “If the rumor was that Charles is my uncle, well, that’s hardly a secret––”
“It wasn’t.”
He continued to watch me, his features motionless. I swore I saw that tinge of scarlet growing around his black pupils.
After that forever-seeming pause, he let out a low laugh.
“I can’t tell if that oblivious look on your face is real,” he said, shaking his head. “I suspect it is not real, which, frankly, is quite impressive, combined with your seeming ability to control your own heartbeat… as well as your body temperature. It’s a pity your husband hasn’t your self-control. I suspect you could give him a run for his money, in the intelligence world.” His smile widened. “Then again, Brick warned me not to underestimate you.”
He paused, that calculating look back in his eyes.
“Regular seer blood dies when it comes into contact with vampire blood,” he said. “Did you know that, Dr. Fox? As a result, our few attempts to turn seers into vampires have met with dismal failure, I’m afraid. Rather spectacularly, in fact.”
Shrugging, Ravi continued to watch me with those predatory eyes.
“For humans, our blood acts as a toxin as well,” he added. “They recover, however, and are reborn via the experience.”
He paused again, gauging my face.
“Do you understand me, Miri?”
I didn’t answer. I was breathing harder, light-headed as his words sank in.
I did understand. In the end, I totally and completely understood.
They were going to turn me into a vampire.
They were going to turn me into a fucking vampire.
That, or they were going to kill me trying.
Black Of Mood (Quentin Black: Shadow Wars #2): Quentin Black World Page 34