Breaking the Cycle (Rocking Racers Book 1)

by Megan Lowe

“Please keep swearing to a minimum. Obscene, insulting, derogatory, and inflammatory material is not to be posted and/or commented on. I’ll be updating the Ryan Racing pages and checking on yours. If you’re not sure, don’t post it. Once it’s been posted, even if you delete it later, people will still see it, screenshot it, and share it from there. I don’t want you to be angels but I do want you to be sensible. What we’re aiming for here is to give people a glimpse into your lives outside the contrived media spotlight, a behind-the-scenes look if you will. Post stuff like you doing your morning workouts, without your shirts if you want.” Jax and Mav wiggle their eyebrows. “This is all about self-promotion, so promote,” Bria says.

  “Post videos of you training, trying new tricks, or even just tooling around, stuff that makes you look good but at the same time, down to earth and normal. People like to relate to their idols. They like to feel a part of something.”

  We nod.

  “But don’t go over the top. We’re not the Kardashians, so the world doesn’t need to know what you’re doing every minute of every day. Just be sensible. We’re going to build something here. We’re going to make something of this team and give those bigwigs a run for their money, but we can’t do that if I’m putting out fires you guys start. If you’re not sure, ask me. If a reporter is hassling you, refer them to me. This is my job now. Any questions?”

  Jax raises his hand and Bria shoots him a glare. “Not that I doubt your commitment to our cause, dear sister-boss, but have you considered how you’re going to tear yourself away from our big bro over there long enough to deal with our shit?”

  “First of all,” Bria says in a stern voice, “there will be no shit for me to deal with, only business, right?” All three of my brothers nod like the good boys Bria wants them to be. “Good. And second, I’m a talented woman. You don’t need to worry about Reed and me.”

  So it’s just me who’ll be worrying about us. Great idea, leave it to the manwhore. Not that I was a manwhore, but you know… I should be glad she’s still talking about us, right?

  Jax shoots me a cheesy grin. I flip him the bird and mutter, “Fuckstick,” under my breath.

  “So you guys are good with all this? Think you can do it?”

  “Don’t worry, sis,” Mav says as he gets up. “We got this, and if not, we’ve got you.”

  She nods. “I’m always here.”

  “Except when you’re in Reed’s bed,” Jax says.

  She looks over at me and smiles sadly.

  Quietly the three of them file out of the house.

  “Angel,” I say quietly.

  “I think I should go,” she says, and my heart breaks.

  “You don’t have to.”

  “I think it’s best if I do.” She gets up and I follow her.

  “Please, Bria.”

  “It’s not over. We’re not breaking up. I still love you. I just need a little time and space, some time for my head to catch up to my heart.”

  I take her in my arms. She doesn’t fight me, and I don’t know if it makes it easier or harder. “I love you so much, Bria. You’re my whole world.”

  “And you’re mine.”

  “So why are you doing this? Why are you pulling away from me?” I'm on the cusp of sounding whiney. Fuck, who am I kidding? I'm already there, but this woman makes me behave irrationally.

  “I’m not pulling away from you. I’m just getting myself together. We’ll talk soon.” And with a quick kiss, she’s gone.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  BRIA

  The rest of the week passes in a blur. A miserable blur. The more I sit around and sulk, the more I realise how ridiculous I’m being.

  A super-hot, super-loving guy wants me to have his kids. What’s the big deal? Reed won’t leave me hanging, nor will he expect me to give up my career to raise our kids. And really, twenty-two isn’t like young, young. If we wait until my shot wears off in November, by the time the baby comes, if I were to get pregnant straight away, I’ll be twenty-three, and it might be nice to still be young and have a family. Pop and Pa must have been fairly young when they had kids and that worked out well, and my parents were only a few years older than I am now when they had me…. It’s not like I can’t see myself with a baby; I can. Yes, everything with Reed has happened fast, but none of it is anything that I don’t want, and that’s the kicker. I want Reed, I want to be a part of his family. I want to have his children, our children, and if it happens sooner rather than later, then so be it.

  Grayson and I are lounging on the couch, me trying to work up the courage to go and see Reed, when a knock on the door gets us out of our stupor. It opens, inviting possibly the most annoying girl in the world into our space.

  “Ladies,” Jane Spencer says in her sugary-sweet voice.

  “Jane,” Gray and I all but grunt.

  “We were thinking that it’s been a while since we all went out and caught up and with exams just around the corner, now is really the time.”

  “Who and what are you talking about?” Gray asks irritably.

  Jane ignores the tone of Grayson’s question and soldiers on, “Me, Melody, Kimmy, Lana, and Amy were thinking we should go out for dinner, just to catch up.”

  “Why?” Grayson asks with genuine confusion.

  “Because we’re friends, silly,” Jane says as if she’s stating the obvious.

  “Oh right, how could I forget?” Gray rolls her eyes.

  I smother a laugh. “And where were you thinking for this catch-up?” I ask.

  “Well,” Jane says, moving to the edge of her seat, “we’ve been in this town for four years, and it suddenly occurred to us that none of us have seriously made a play for one of the Ryan boys, which is crazy because they’re seriously H.O.T.”

  “Uh-huh,” I say through clenched teeth. There’s no way in hell one of those plastic bitches is getting within a metre of my family without me.

  “Anyway, we heard Reed has a girlfriend now, which is absolutely ludicrous. I mean, he’s a Ryan. Everyone knows they have major mummy issues and will never settle down.” It takes everything I have to restrain myself.

  Beside me, Gray takes my hand and squeezes tight. I squeeze back to let her know that it’s okay. That I’m okay. I know what Reed and I have, and some bimbo won’t convince me otherwise.

  “So anyway, we thought we’d go there tonight and see if we can’t snag us one.”

  “Huh,” Grayson says, nodding.

  It doesn’t escape my notice that there are five Ryans and five in Jane’s little group. Clearly Gray and my roles will be to make sure their cars get home safely.

  “Sounds like fun,” I say, and Gray’s head whips to me. She opens her mouth and I squeeze her hand in warning.

  “Yeah, fun,” she agrees, without any sign of enthusiasm.

  “Great!” Jane says and bounces in her seat. “We were thinking of leaving here at six.”

  “Perfect, we’ll see you then,” I say, and smile sweetly at her.

  She beams at us then dances her way out of our room.

  “What the fuck are you playing at?” Grayson asks me once the door’s closed.

  “It’s Monday night.”

  “So?”

  “So the Ryans are having their usual Monday night review tonight.”

  “Oh,” she says, and I can tell she gets it. “You, my friend, are an evil genius.”

  I rub my hands together. “I’m just working with what God gave me.” We burst out laughing.

  “But are you okay going there? I thought you and Reed….”

  “I just needed a minute, but I’m good now, and if you think I’m going to let the love of my life be around those Barbies while I sit around here making myself miserable, obsessing over Reed and my relationship, then you don’t know me at all,” I say, getting up.

  “That’s my girl.”

  “Eh, I’m more Reed’s, but I’m sure he won’t have any objections to sharing me,” I say and we burst out laughing. It’
s time I went home.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  REED

  I haven’t seen Bria in almost a week. Every day she’ll send me texts telling me she loves me and every day I tell her how much I miss her, miss us and pray that she comes back to me, that “her heart catches up to her head”. Whatever the fuck that means. I’ve been miserable without her and moody as fuck. My brothers have wisely steered clear, but Chris keeps asking where Aunty Bria is. It slays me every time he does. I find myself smelling her clothes, her sweet, fruity scent trapped in the fabric, torturing me. I’ve even driven past the uni a couple of times, hoping that I’ll get lucky and see her, but I never do.

  I’m hit with more reminders as the door to the diner opens and in walk five overly made-up girls wearing scraps for clothes. My heart stops as behind them are Grayson and Bria. She’s even more beautiful than I remember. I shoot her a quizzical look as she stands there, making no effort to come to me. My fears are eased when she smiles, shakes her head, rolls her eyes, and shrugs. Next to her Grayson shoots me a wicked smile and winks.

  Jax and Mav’s heads have whipped up at the new arrivals. I turn to each of them and make a slashing motion against my neck. Bria may have needed time to “get herself together” but I know my girl, and these aren’t friends of hers. My brothers look at me quizzically—apparently there’s a lot of that going around—before they notice Bria and Grayson and nod.

  I go over to greet them.

  “Ladies,” I say. Bria makes no effort to greet me but throws me her mischievous smile so I go with it even though I’m dying to go to her.

  “You’re Reed, right?” one of them asks me, twisting her bleached-blonde hair around her finger.

  “I am, and you are?”

  “Kimmy.” She comes and presses herself to me. I shoot Bria a look and she laughs. Okay then.

  “I heard you have a girlfriend,” Kimmy says.

  “I do.”

  She laughs as do the four other girls with her. “That’s funny.”

  “And why’s that?” I know my reputation’s not great, but geez, ladies, cut me some slack.

  “Because,” another one says, sidling up to my other side, “you’re Reed Ryan, notorious playboy. No woman can ever give you all you need.” She runs her finger down my chest. I grab her hand and throw it away from me. I can feel the steam coming out of my ears.

  Just then Mav and Jax come up to the group, shoving the Barbies aside and embracing Grayson and Bria.

  “Hey, sis, hey, Grayson,” they say, and hug and kiss them both. I don’t miss the extra attention they give Bria.

  “Sis?” the second Barbie asks Bria.

  “Bria’s Reed’s girl,” Jax says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, and I smile.

  “You’re the new girlfriend?” she asks Bria.

  “Yeah, Jane, I am,” Bria says as she pushes through the crowd to me and her rightful place.

  “Hey, angel, I missed you so fucking much,” I whisper before bending down to kiss the shit out of her. “And for the record,” I say when we break apart, “Bria’s not the new girlfriend. She’s the only one I’ll ever have.” I’m dying to do more than kiss her, but I’ll wait. I don’t want to scare her off again.

  “Bullshit,” Jane says.

  “Afraid not,” Jax says. “My big brother is in love and off the market.”

  “Hey, Bria girl,” Pa says as he passes by. He gives her a kiss on the cheek and clasps Grayson’s hand.

  “Get it now?” Mav asks.

  That seems to snap them out of their trance and they turn their attention to Mav and Jax. Their eyes light up when Liam and Chris come out.

  “Aunty Bria! Aunty Grayson!” Chris shouts, and runs into Bria’s arms as she bends down to pick him up. Liam greets both the girls with a kiss, and Jane’s eyes light up.

  Bria sees her and chuckles. So does Jax.

  He slings an arm over Grayson’s shoulders. “Let’s go somewhere more comfortable, shall we?” Grayson shoots him a look.

  “A table, I meant a table,” he insists, holding up a hand.

  Bria goes to follow them but I grab her hand and tug her to me. “I hate to be the needy chick in this relationship,” I say and she chuckles, “but what does this mean?” I refuse to let myself get carried away, not when there’s this much at stake. This girl is my heart and I refuse to fuck things up again.

  “It means I’m here to talk footy with my family.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah,” she says and leans up to kiss me.

  “But—”

  “Let’s talk about it later. The shows will be starting soon.” She pulls me over to the table with the others. I can’t believe she’s here, but that’s all that matters; the rest can come later.

  I pull out a chair for her but when Jane, Kimmy, and the other evil Barbies try to sit down, Chris loses it.

  “You can’t sit here,” he says.

  “Excuse me?” one of the background Barbies says.

  “You can’t sit here,” he repeats.

  “You’ve got to be kidding me,” Jane says as she sidles up to Liam.

  “You heard the kid,” Mav says.

  Liam laughs and sits down, ignoring Jane’s attempt to catch his eye. She takes this as a personal affront and huffs off to a nearby table. We all high-five Chris. Mav goes and grabs Chris’s dinner while Jax gets drinks and nibbles before the game.

  “So, your friends are nice,” I say to Bria.

  She snorts. “No, they’re not, but Gray and I wanted to have a little fun.”

  “You two are evil geniuses,” Mav says, putting down Chris’s mac and cheese.

  “As much as I’d love to take credit, it was all Miss Adams here,” Grayson says as Bria makes sure some of Chris’s dinner makes it to his mouth.

  “So fucking perfect,” I whisper into her ear, and she smiles. God, I missed her.

  With Bria’s help, Chris manages to eat most of his dinner, then curls into her chest and falls asleep.

  “I still can’t get used to seeing Chris with a woman,” Mav says, watching him sleep.

  “I know. It’s weird, isn’t it?” Jax asks.

  “But not surprising,” Liam adds.

  “Nah,” they agree.

  “Fuck that was freaky,” Grayson says.

  “And what’s that, darlin’?” Jax asks her.

  “The way you’re all so in synch with each other.”

  “It’s all part of the Ryan charm,” Jax says and winks at her.

  “We should get him to bed,” Bria says. I nod and help her up.

  Jax, Mav, and Liam get up and kiss Chris on the forehead, as do Pa and Pop when we walk past them.

  “We’re just putting him to bed,” I say to Park as we pass the kitchen.

  “How much did he eat?” he asks.

  “Most of it. Bria made sure it went in his mouth, not on the floor.”

  “Thanks, sis,” he says and kisses her on the forehead. “I’ll be there in a minute. Just gotta prep the rest of this food. Shove it in after 360,” he reminds me.

  “I got it, Park. We’ve done this before, remember?”

  “Except for the times you forgot and then the food isn’t done until after midnight.”

  “That was one time!” Beside me, Bria giggles.

  “Come on, let’s get the kid to bed.” It feels so normal, so right for her to be here.

  I open the door for Bria and she lays Chris down gently, brushing his mop of brown hair off his face.

  “Do you think our kids will be this cute?” she asks.

  “Er….” I stumble.

  “It’s okay, Reed. I’m not going to run again.”

  “Are you sure? I really don’t want to think that I’ve got you back only for you to pull away from me again.”

  She gets up and wraps her arms around my neck, my hands automatically finding her hips. Man, does she feel good.

  “I’m so sorry I pulled away from you. I’ve been misera
ble the past few days but I needed to get my head in the right space.”

  “And did you?”

  She nods.

  “What happened?”

  “I freaked. We slipped into domestic bliss so quickly, and then when you started talking about having babies straight away….”

  “We don’t have to, you know. If you want to wait, I’m fine with it. Whatever you want. I’m at your mercy.”

  She smiles and my heart warms. “I don’t want you at my mercy. I just had to reconcile myself to being in a couple and opening myself up to couple things.”

  “Like having my babies.”

  “Like having our babies,” she corrects.

  “And are you reconciled?” I ask. “Opened up to these ‘couple things’?” I make air quotes.

  She nods. “I am.”

  “And?”

  “And I’ve come to the conclusion that anytime you want to let your guys loose to do their job, my egg will be ready and waiting for them.”

  I swear my heart bursts out of my chest. “Yeah?”

  “Uh–huh. I love you, Reed Cooper Ryan. I love your family, and I want to be a part of it and have my own part of it.”

  “You want babies with me?”

  “I really do.” She cups my face. “I love you, Reed Ryan, and I can’t wait to be a part of your family, whenever you see fit to do that. I think the biggest problem was getting my head around all this happening so soon and being afraid you were going to chain me to the bed and make me keep popping out the kids.”

  I open my mouth to interrupt but she places a finger on my lips. “I know you wouldn’t ever do that to me, but I was scared. I don’t want to be just a baby-making machine. And the more I thought about it, I realised that that’s not what you want for me either. I want to have a career. That together we’re going to grow Ryan Racing.”

  “Yeah, we are.” I bring her closer to me.

  “Plus, I’m a talented woman and can have it all,” she jests, wriggling her brows and laughing.

  I grin. “So true,” I say, kissing her neck.

  “And if not, then we can always get Jax to babysit. He owes us for all the heart attacks I’m certain he’s going to give me.”