by Carsen Taite
“You’re thinking again,” Ellery whispered, her voice husky with desire.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry.” Ellery drew a finger across her stomach and Sarah shuddered again. Ellery smiled in response, but the expression was tempered with cautious reserve. “Do you want me to stop?”
Sarah opened her mouth to say I want you on top of me. I want you to ride me. I don’t want you to stop until we’re both screaming so loud your nosey neighbor knows exactly how many orgasms we’ve had, but the words faded at the tentative look in Ellery’s eyes, her tender kisses, and the incredible heat stoked by even her lightest touch. In the face of Ellery’s vulnerability, the most precious gift she could give was control, and surprisingly, she realized she didn’t want to be in charge. She knew exactly what she wanted. “I want you to make love to me.”
No sooner had she said the words than Ellery’s hesitation vanished, and Sarah relaxed into the rhythm of her searing strokes. When Ellery dipped back between her legs and teased her tongue across her clit, Sarah rocked against her and cried out in pleasure as the first waves of orgasm surged through her body. Losing control had never felt so right, and through the blur of climax she had a moment of clarity—Ellery was the reason why.
*
Ellery opened her eyes to complete darkness. Her first instinct was to sit up and snap on the bedside lamp, but as the blur of sleep gave way to intense memories of the last few hours, she resolved she was in no hurry to return to the harsh light of reality.
She inched her hand across the covers until she found Sarah, curled up next to her. She propped up on her elbow and waited impatiently for her eyes to acclimate to the dark. Sarah’s hair fanned out across the pillow, and Ellery longed to reach out and curl her fingers through the dark waves. Instead she closed her eyes and let her mind retrace their lovemaking.
“Who’s thinking now?”
Ellery opened her eyes and smiled at the beautiful woman staring up at her. “I promise my thoughts were relegated to things like will the delivery guy bring the pizza into the bedroom because no way am I ready to leave your side.”
“You lawyers say the sweetest things. And here I was assuming you were thinking lewd thoughts.”
“Who, me?” She blocked Sarah’s mock jab and grabbed her hand. “Oh my, look how weak the big, strong FBI agent is. I wonder what she’s been doing.” A second later, she was laughing as Sarah rolled over on top of her and pinned her arms above her head. “Please, Officer. Don’t stop.”
Sarah dipped down and ran her tongue along her neck to her lips. Ellery lifted her head to meet her in a blistering kiss. As spent as they’d both been an hour ago, she was surprised how quickly her body lit up at Sarah’s touch. She curled a leg around Sarah’s and slid her slick center against Sarah’s thigh.
“Oh my God, you feel amazing.” Ellery’s words were punctuated with heavy breathing as Sarah used her leg to stroke her with ever increasing intensity while she licked and sucked her sensitive breasts. It seemed like only seconds before the rising tide of orgasm rushed through her and she arched off the bed and into Sarah’s tender embrace.
Sarah held her close, leaving light kisses on her forehead, her cheeks, and her lips while she rocked through the receding waves of her climax. Finally spent, she opened her eyes and met Sarah’s intense gaze. “That was incredible.” She looked down at Sarah’s thigh, still between her legs, and she felt another shudder surge through her body. “Truly incredible.”
“Yes, it was. Maybe even a bit beyond incredible. Like make me completely forget about pizza, incredible.”
“Well, I don’t know about that.” She laughed as Sarah playfully twisted her ear. “Cut it out. You’re ruining the mood.”
“Oh, I bet I can get it back.”
“I have no doubt, but if I don’t have something to eat soon, I will die.”
“Die, huh? Well, we wouldn’t want that.”
Ellery watched as Sarah extracted her leg and leaned down to the floor beside the bed. “What are you doing?”
“Saving your life.” She crawled back up onto the bed and flashed her cell phone. “Name your favorite delivery. I’m buying you dinner.”
Ellery started to reply, but the phone in Sarah’s hand started emitting a sharp ring. Sarah looked at the phone, shook her head, and frowned. Ellery willed her not to take the call, not to let anything shatter the playful mood, the breathtaking intimacy of their evening, but she wouldn’t ask.
The phone kept ringing.
“I’m sorry. I have to take this.”
Ellery could only manage a nod as Sarah answered the line with a sharp, “Flores here.”
Resisting the urge to listen in on whatever was so important it was worth interrupting what they’d shared, Ellery climbed out of bed, grabbed her shirt and jeans, and walked out of the room. She dressed in the hall and then made her way to the kitchen. She put a kettle of water on the stove burner to boil and measured out her favorite grind for the French press. While she waited for the water to get hot, she leaned against the sink and stared out the window. It was pitch-black outside, but it felt like morning, or at least it had a few moments ago. Waking up with Sarah, even this late at night, felt like a new beginning, a new day. The orgasm was wonderful, but it was just a bonus. The intimacy of the night had started when she shared her story, her secret, and Sarah, instead of turning away, had pulled her closer. But she couldn’t help but think the phone call broke the spell.
“Hmmm, coffee. You sure do know the way to a girl’s heart.”
Ellery kissed her lightly on the lips and started to back away, but Sarah pressed closer. She held up a hand. “Water’s boiling.” She could feel Sarah’s eyes on her as she pulled the kettle from the burner and poured it over the grinds. She pumped the press, staring at the floating grinds as they settled into place, captured and contained. “Do you want your cup to go?”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. Cream and sugar?”
“Cream.”
Ellery nodded. She walked to the refrigerator. In a few minutes, Sarah would be gone, back at work, and she wished she didn’t care.
“Are you going to talk to me or just be my barista?”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“I think you do, but you’re pissed because I’m leaving.”
“I’m not pissed. I’m…” Ellery didn’t know what she was, but whatever it was jammed up her feelings and scattered them all over the place. A little bit hurt, a little bit disappointed. Oh hell, maybe she was mad, but she sure as hell wasn’t going to admit it now. “I assume you wouldn’t leave unless it was important.”
Sarah walked over and stood a few inches away. She didn’t duck away as Sarah put her hand behind her neck and pulled her close. Her kiss was gentle and lingering.
“Being with you like this was amazing.”
“I hear a ‘but.’”
“But I do have to go and it is important.”
Ellery heard the undercurrent. Whatever it was would always trump anything personal between them. Of course it would. Sarah was a natural adversary. A cop investigating a defendant. Funny, she’d left a job that put her at odds with people like Sarah, only to fall for someone who put her right back into the same situation. Rough luck.
Fall for. In that moment, she realized how hard she’d fallen. The old her never would have let her guard down, no matter how attracted she might be to someone in Sarah’s position. Could she really blame Sarah for keeping her distance?
Yes. Because if anyone had any reason to keep their distance, she did. She stood to be hurt the deepest. But Sarah’s career could be at risk, her conscience argued. Just because you were willing to walk away from yours, doesn’t mean she’s willing to put hers in jeopardy over what may only be a fling. But it wasn’t a fling. She’d felt more in one night with Sarah than she’d felt over a lifetime with a string of other women.
“Are you okay?” Sarah asked.
Ellery struggled to recover. Sarah was on her way out the door. She should tell her how she felt, she could ask her to stay, but she didn’t have a strong enough handle on her own feelings to share them, let alone convince Sarah to share hers.
She leaned back in and kissed Sarah, hard and long, enough to leave her gasping for breath and weak in the knees. When she finally found the strength to pull away, she handed her the coffee mug. “Go. I know wherever you have to be is important. But I want you to know that this”—she pointed between them—“this is important too.”
Chapter Twenty
Sarah drove straight to the airport with the windows down and the radio blaring, but neither the wind nor the loud music could drown out her thoughts. Trip had called to say he would be landing at the airport in an hour, but he hadn’t offered any other details about why he was showing up again. As for Ellery, all she knew was she hadn’t wanted to leave, but she’d been relieved not to have to engage in the after sex discussion of what it all meant because she didn’t have a clue.
More easily than she’d thought possible, she’d crossed a line. No matter what she felt in her gut, Ellery was a target of a federal investigation, and the intimacy they’d shared could easily be grounds for termination. In the moment, she had cared more about the electric pulse of Ellery’s touch than the career she’d always put first. Now that she’d fled Ellery’s magnetic presence, she’d expected her good sense to take over, but she wasn’t sure she knew what constituted good sense anymore. The job was fulfilling, but it didn’t stand a chance against the rush she’d felt as Ellery stroked her to orgasm and then cradled her tenderly. She had never experienced such intensity, and she’d never felt so vulnerable after a sexual encounter.
Traffic was light and she made it to the airport in record time. She parked the car, used her badge to speed through security, and made it to the gate with thirty minutes to spare before Trip’s flight was scheduled to arrive. She settled into a seat, leaned back, and closed her eyes, too exhausted to people watch. She’d barely hit the fuzzy edge of sleep before Trip’s gravelly voice roused her.
“Some cop you are. I could’ve had your gun and taken out half the people in this terminal while you were snoring.”
“If I was carrying.” Sarah instantly regretted her words, certain he would never let her hear the end of it. She wasn’t disappointed.
“Going soft. Seriously, Flores, you may not need firepower while you’re working a desk, but as long as you’re on this assignment, I expect you to be prepared for anything. You understand?”
This was the perfect opportunity to tell him why she was no longer right for this assignment, but instead she said, “You really think I need a gun to get close to Ellery Durant?”
He stared at her for a moment and then shook his head. “I think you used other ways to get close to Miss Durant. We need to talk.” His eyes held a mix of compassion and something else. Disappointment?
He knew. She had no doubt, but her mind scurried to comb through the details of the last six hours to figure out how she’d given herself away before she realized what she’d taken for granted. Trip had asked her to get close to Ellery, but she’d been foolish to think she’d be the only one watching her. Another thought occurred to her and she had to know. “Is her house bugged?”
“No, but you were there for six hours. For all those damn HSI agents know you’re just one helluva interrogator, but they don’t know you like I do.”
“Is that why you’re here?”
“Don’t be silly. Like I’m going to fly across the country to lecture one of my best agents. I’m here because some major shit is going down and the director wants me to make sure the agency’s interests are looked after. Getting to scold you for going off book is just a bonus.” He lifted his carry-on bag. “But I can do that in the car. Where’s that fancy ride of yours?”
True to his word, Trip didn’t mention the subject again until they were on the road and, even then, not until Sarah brought it up. “Go ahead,” she said. “Let me have it.”
“What’s your take on her?”
“Does it matter? I can tell you right now that you need to yank me off this detail. I’m not objective.”
“You’re never objective. If you think you are, you’re fooling yourself. Every interrogation you’ve ever done, you’ve come at from a point of knowing how you feel about the perp and what he did. It’s your angle and it’s never objective.”
“Ellery Durant is not a perp.”
“Says you.”
“That’s what the agency pays me for.” She sped up to pass a car and then settled into the fast lane. “You spent years training me to construct profiles, read people, and make assessments, and I’m one of the best. I’d bet all the salary you’ve ever paid me that Ellery not only had nothing to do with the bombing, but she didn’t have a clue Naveed Khan was anything other than an honor student on his way to a good college. You saw the report I sent. No one had any idea what these kids were up to. If Ellery were really involved, why would she have quit her practice before the case was resolved? She would’ve done everything in her power to make sure those boys weren’t even indicted.”
“Are you willing to throw your entire career away for some woman you barely know?”
It was a valid question, but Sarah wasn’t prepared to make a choice. Which is probably why you ran out the door before Ellery could force you to talk about what happened between you. If she couldn’t even have the conversation about whatever it was that was happening between them, was it worth risking everything?
She’d spent her entire career taking chances, hunting killers with little regard for her own personal safety. This kind of risk, putting her feelings on the line for a woman who gave her the biggest rush of her life, was what she should be living for. There was no comparing the two. “I know her well enough. And for the record, whatever happened between me and Ellery wasn’t a method of interrogation.”
She felt Trip’s eyes on her and imagined what he must be thinking. To him, the work would always come first, and under his mentorship, she’d never expected to feel any different. He’d been surprised when she requested a transfer and more than a little disappointed to discover she was moving from his elite unit to Dullsville as he liked to call the fraud unit. He’d pulled her back in, knowing she couldn’t say no, but now he probably wished he’d chosen an agent with better judgment. “I’m sorry.”
“Sorry you slept with her or sorry I know about it?”
It was a complicated question, but she didn’t have the energy or desire to sort out her feelings until she had more time, so she settled on the simplest possible response. “Sorry I didn’t quit this investigation first.”
“Don’t be. You’re the best agent I’ve ever worked with. It’s not in your blood to quit anything, and I know you well enough to know you have to see this thing through. And I know you well enough to know that you wouldn’t have risked everything for nothing. All I need to know now is that I have your full focus. You can sort out your deal with Durant later. Understood?”
“Understood. What’s the plan?”
“Based on the information you sent to Peter about Naveed Khan and his pals, HSI got a handful of material witness warrants.”
“So, what? We pick them up, spirit them away, and hold them until we get some answers?”
“I wish. HSI is picking them up, but there’ll be no spiriting away. They’ll be questioned here, and you and I will take turns observing. They’ll be treated like detained suspects with all the usual rights and warnings.”
“This from the director?”
“Pretty sure the chain of command goes all the way to the top on this one. The trial, when it happens is going to be the center of national attention, and they want everything leading up to it to be as transparent as possible.”
“Got it. Where is this going down?”
“Division headquarters. I got them to agree to use our facilities since the local HSI office isn’
t really set up for observation. You up for this?”
Sarah glanced in the mirror. What had been sleepy, post-sex bliss, now looked like full-scale exhaustion complete with dark rings under her eyes and hair that resembled a rat’s nest. “I came straight here when you called. Any chance I have time for a shower?”
“If you have any food in that pristine apartment of yours, absolutely.”
She knew he wouldn’t consider the yogurt and blueberries in the fridge real food, but she really needed that shower. She could always run down the street and grab him a burger if he balked. “Absolutely.”
Trip slept the rest of the drive, and Sarah spent the time sorting through her thoughts. Her only regret of the night had been the abrupt way she left Ellery’s house. Ellery had been right. What had happened between them was important, but she wasn’t sure they meant the same thing by the distinction.
*
The next morning, Ellery sipped from a blazing hot cup of coffee in between yawns and pondered the fact that no amount of caffeine was a substitute for a good night’s sleep. After an evening of incredible sex, she’d expected to fall into a deep and satisfying slumber, but Sarah’s abrupt departure had left her feeling empty and restless. She’d finally rolled out of bed at dawn, and after a few hours listlessly puttering around the house, all she wanted to do was go back to bed.
She knew the reason for her malaise, although she was reluctant to admit it. The entire evening had been intensely intimate, from her confession about her former client to the several orgasms they’d shared. She’d bared her soul to Sarah in a way she’d never done with anyone else, and when Sarah rushed out the door, it was as if she was stealing away with her heart.
“I’m making way too much of this,” she said to the air in the room. They’d been thrown together by circumstance, and faced with the revelation about Naveed, she’d been feeling vulnerable. It didn’t hurt that Sarah was fantastically sexy, but the sex was nothing more than a by-product of ramped up, misplaced emotions.