Gator Baitin' (The Grateful Undead series Book 2)

by Susan Stec

  She took in a long breath, let it out through her teeth, and in a gruff, aggravated voice began to speak. "We were out at Gatorland, see, checking the woods on the back of the property after we spotted the gator."

  "It was not THE gator, Chick! Tell it like it was or don't tell it at all!" Jake flopped on the hearth. Mom rolled her lips back at him.

  Gibbie hovered with puffed out cheeks while Mom continued. "That's when the curator showed up, thinking he could help. The frigging man was four sheets to the wind—drunk as hell. He had a big shotgun and started blasting the gator, only he didn't do anything but piss it off!" Mom turned to frown at Jake.

  "Have you ever seen an alligator run?" Jake shook violently. "It was big, hungry, deadly, and after my ass! Go ahead, tell me you wouldn't totally freak out," Jake whimpered.

  "Oh, stop being such a drama queen," Gibbie said, leaning against the rock fireplace. He had one knee cocked, foot resting on a small shaving of wood, fingers wrapped around the handle of a sword hanging from a red sash tied around his waist.

  I suddenly felt like a rum and coke, maybe a double.

  Mom hit the counter and got my attention. "I didn't know you would transform into a frigging thirty-foot dragon with purple scales, damnit. You scared the hell out of the man. That's why he started shooting at you! You didn't have to start spitting fire all over the frigging woods either. Jesus!"

  "The man was shooting at me, Chick!" Jake screeched, turning red. "I can't control myself when I get that scared. My body just shifts and then it's all about killing or, well, you know."

  Gibbie flew at me with lightning speed and stopped short in front of my face, reminding me of a dragonfly. "That's when Paul and I got there. Your Mother was trying to put the curator out. She grabbed Jake's shredded clothes and started beating the poor man. And Jake... And Jake…" he said, laughing like hell and buzzing around my head with a shrill vibrating noise.

  I was trying to get past the whole purple dragon thing when Mom gave us another startling visual.

  "And why the hell did you start humping the gator?" Mom asked. "Did you not see the man's horrified face? Hear his screams, for crying out loud? Talk about loose ends!"

  Jake farted several times and grabbed his stomach. "I couldn't help myself. All I could think was rape and pillage. I killed it didn't I?"

  "Uh-huh, and cooked it nice and proper. Then you flew up circling and made me think I was next!"

  Jake blushed three shades of crimson. "I would never!"

  "So let me see if I got this visual correct, Jake. You fired up the curator, burned down half the woods, and butt screwed an alligator to death at Gatorland?" I turned back to my mother who was shaking her head in the aftermath.

  "Well at least someone is getting some," Christopher said.

  Marcus snorted a laugh.

  I literally screamed, "Is the curator alright?" No one but me seemed to be worried about poor Mr. Parsons.

  "Yesss," Mom hissed. "But after the dragon transformed into the little Rican right in front of us, his wanger swinging, he headed right for the old man. And what does he do? He starts slathering the man with his tongue, making all these sucking noises. The old fart thought he was trying to ravage him too, for Christ's sake! Goddamn, he knocked the alcohol-high right out of the poor bastard. Parsons started screaming and knocked me on my ass right next to the fried gator." Mom rubbed her soiled butt, elbows bouncing.

  "I was healing him, Chick," Jake said. "I could have done a much better job if you hadn't grabbed that piece of wood and whacked me upside the head like I was a baseball. You sent me flying."

  "I frigging wanted to knock you to Georgia!" Mom answered.

  Christopher cleared his throat. I turned to look at him and his eyebrows started to dance.

  "What?" I asked.

  "Nothing. I was just wondering if you and I should go out and check on the old guy." He batted his eyelashes and grinned at me.

  Marcus stopped laughing and glared at Christopher. He was clearly not ready to go anywhere near the old guy, and for the first time I agreed with his attempt to discourage Christopher.

  "I don't think…" I started, but Mom jumped in, making it easier for me.

  "I'd just finished planting a nice scene in the man's head, wiping out the mental picture of a purple dragon raping a gator, then Jake starts slobbering all over him. I had to start all over again. We left him in his bed with visions of chasing the gator and a fire he started with his nasty cigarettes and alcohol. His burns were healing well when we left, so I added the knowledge of us coming to his rescue. A bit of a stretch, but a much better vision than the cluster-fuck Jake created."

  Now that I knew Mr. Parsons was alright, I started laughing. Rolling with it, I grabbed the counter for support. "Oh, God, I wish I could have been there. Our morning wasn't nearly as exciting. Although, we did see the real fang-sporting gator."

  Marcus cleared his throat. "Chick, we never had a good chance to secure the gator until late morning, and, unfortunately, it slipped through our fingers. Christopher made a valiant effort, but decided to save a mortal when the gator became too much of a threat. I believe he made the right choice."

  He sounded like he was giving a military report to a freaking government official. Sheesh, it was just Mom.

  "It's still early. We'll get him later tonight after all of us rest and feed," Mom said, strutting around the room with her hands in her sooty pockets. Who the hell did she think she was, George C. Scott in Patton?

  "Yep, guess we can just head back out on the lakes tonight. You up for a little moonlight boat ride, Chick?" Christopher asked, jockeying for the position closest to the church, knowing full well Mom hated the water.

  "No. Dorius called. We have to chase down an old man. Eval's father is part of the demon thing the girls are working on. Resi and Zaire are headed here to help. We're going to hit Faith World tonight. You guys will have to hunt the gator. Paul, Jake, Mort and Gibbie can help.

  Christopher gave me a look that had both of us rumbling. I knew he was pissed because they were headed to the church instead of him. I was thinking about my daughter hunting rogues while I went gator gigging. With the new information we had concerning Kim, I knew Christopher wanted to talk to the woman. She looked way too sweet and innocent to be consorting with a demon. I felt sure she had no clue.

  I gave Marcus a warning look as he teased a smile and headed for my mother. He patted her on the shoulder, shooting Christopher a playful grin. I could see Christopher wasn't amused either. He was probably also wondering what Marcus was up to.

  "Let's put this unfortunate incident behind us, Chick," Marcus said with way too much amusement.

  "Over my dead body!" Mom said, glaring at Jake. "If you ever decide to turn into a fire breathing dragon again, you damn sure better clue me in first.""Sorry," Jake whimpered getting another round of laughter from Gibbie.

  Paul walked back in the door. "Wood stove's cranked up. What'd I miss?"

  "You're on lake duty with the other idiots tonight," Mom said, heading for the front door. "I'm going to have a little snack and hit the sack. I suggest all of you do the same." With that, she walked through the door, probably headed for the mall across the street.

  Marcus watched her leave then walked to the stairs leading up to my bedroom. He nodded at me. "You coming, darling?"

  "Daddy, are you and Mommy gonna re-enact the dragon/gator thing?" Christopher teased.

  I ran past Marcus and up the stairs hoping to beat him to the shower.

  I was lathering my body with lavender soap when the door to the shower opened and Marcus' smiling face peeked through. "May I join you, dear?" he asked sticking his hand in the shower with a vibrating disk attached.

  I stared at it, my eyes following his arm to his naked chest. "I think not," I said, swallowing hard.

  "But darling, I just wish to massage your tired body. I could wash your back," he said with a wiggling eyebrow.

  God, it sounded so tempting. He l
ooked so damn good.

  The delay of one of my bitchy remarks had him stepping in, totally naked. We stared at each other as the hot water bounced off my shoulders, beading on his chest.

  I couldn't get my lungs to expel the air I'd just sucked in. I was getting dizzy with it. I reached for the wall to steady myself, getting a sexy smile from Marcus. His eyes moved to my lathered breasts. Animal noises rumbled deep in his throat.

  Drops of water glistened in the rich black curls running from nipple to nipple on his well-muscled chest. Fangs slid from my gums. "So maybe this isn't a good idea," I said, only it sounded like, 'oh aby iss itit a goog idea'.

  The left side of Marcus's mouth quivered upward.

  My eyes slowly followed the droplets zigzagging down a thin trail of hair that led to a very large erection. My hands covered my chest, drawing a laugh out of him.

  I boldly reached down—he slid from my grasp, slowly turning me around. "Only a back rub, darling." He took the soap from my hand.

  "Marcus, I think—"

  His hand ran across my shoulders, the smooth soap leaving a goose bump trail as he began to lather my back. "Just relax, Susan." His voice was deep and husky. I was calculating how I could turn this into more than a damn relaxing massage.

  He laughed, sliding the vibrator thingy around the muscles on my back, his other hand holding me firmly in place.

  My body hummed with his touch, a trail of warmth spreading between my legs. I was praying to all that was holy he wouldn't stop there.

  His mouth found my shoulder and walked small kisses up to his favorite spot on my neck.

  "Ah, Marcus, sweetie, just the massage, no sucking, no sucking," I squeaked, trying to gain a bit of control. His teeth nibbled and my whole body rebelled against my words.

  Fangs playfully pricked my skin. I yelped. He softly growled, lips moving to my throat, tongue mingling with the water on my neck. The vibrating massager slid around to my stomach and moved slowly down between my legs. I felt him hard against the curve of my lower back and rise of my ass. With slow silken movements his chest moved up and down on my back. I was losing it. Who am I kidding, I'd lost it the minute he walked into the shower. How the hell am I going to get out of this?

  And then he bit me. Fire coursed through my veins with a burning desire to have him inside of me. My whole body shook with need and frustration.

  I yanked his teeth from my neck, turned, pushed him against the shower door and jumped on. Glass shattered into a million flying pieces right along with any delusion I might have had for an orgasmic interlude. It made a hell of a racket as we fell through the door and landed on the floor with me on top, glass pricking my ass and back.

  I heard footsteps pounding the stairs.

  "Ssshit," I hissed.

  My mother and Christopher burst through the bathroom door.

  Marcus croaked, "Susan got a little—" I wrapped my hands around his neck, giving it a good squeeze.

  "Nice ass," Christopher said.

  While I glared at him over my shoulder, he bent down and plucked a piece of glass out of my butt. "This is gonna generate better visuals than Jake's 'rape and pillage' story." Christopher smiled.

  I turned to face Marcus with a look that nipped his throaty chuckles. "You could've at least locked the door."

  "Go get the goddamn chocolates!" Mom yelled at Christopher.

  ~~~

  Chapter 13

  Rap to the beat

  ~~~

  "Look you little shit, we're going to hunt animals tonight—deal with it—damnit! We're not going off on another one of your side trips. Everyone else will be at the church anyway," I shouted at Christopher.

  We were sitting on the back porch waiting for Resi and Zaire to arrive. I was not looking forward to Resi's gloating. Christopher was only making it worse.

  "Oh, come on! You should've seen Kim talking to the old man. She wasn't acting like all the publications portray her—didn't look like Little-Miss-Innocent to me. Don't you wanna know what she's all about?" Christopher looked at me with hopeful eyes.

  "I think we should at least make an attempt at getting a few critters. Dorius is not in the position he is in with merit. He will figure out what's going on. Is that what you want?" I gave him my best 'listen to me I'm smarter than you are' smile.

  "Bullshit! I'm not going to sit around waiting for your mother to figure this out. We know Kim was talking to the old man—they don't. I say at the very least we take her aside, mention the body at the motel, see how she reacts. I'll read her thoughts and then we'll know for sure who's doing what." He kicked feet incased in cute little Doc Martins as he fished out a pack of Virginia Slims. Lighting one he pushed back in the cushioned porch chair and reached for an ashtray.

  Marcus stepped onto the porch and took a seat across from Christopher. I can settle this argument, Susan. I have a plan for this evening that should suit both of you. Evidently, he'd been eavesdropping again. I really needed to start drinking from him so I could learn how to block him.

  "Like I told her," Christopher said, shooting a thumb in my direction. "You two can take the boat and go gator gigging, 'cause I'm going to the church." He jumped down, stabbing his cigarette in an ashtray on a small table that came up to his waist.

  Marcus locked eyes with Christopher. "The three of us are going to hunt for animals near Howey-In-The-Hills on the other side of the lake. I think that will appease JoAnn and Jeni."

  Christopher started to object, but Marcus raised his hand. "Hear me out."

  Christopher put his hands on his hips and assumed a bratty little boy pose.

  "Kim and Julie reside in a condominium on the lake. The complex has a boat dock. We'd have easy access. Maybe Kim will be home and we could talk with her. If not, at least we can nose around the condominium."

  I was about to address the nosing around thing. Marcus gave me a stern look. I waited impatiently as he continued. "Later, we can hit the woods near Kissimmee and pick up a few more infected animals. At least we'll look like we've been doing our job." Marcus gave us one of his dazzling smiles. Christopher smiled back.

  I didn't. I couldn't believe Marcus wanted to nose around the pastor's condo, but I wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Before I could add anything to his well contrived plan, I heard the front door hit the wall in the foyer.

  "So where the hell is everybody?" Zaire bellowed.

  "The Rogue Hunters are back," Resi sang, making me wince.

  "Swell," I said, already wanting to slap her.

  "Hush, love, we have one up on them," Marcus said, pulling me from the chair.

  "So, I guess you guys heard we bagged the demon hunter?" Zaire smiled as I walked through the sliding glass doors.

  "Yeah. Good job," I tossed out.

  "Oh, don't be like that, Mommy Dearest. You should be bursting with glee," Resi teased, tossing her auburn hair, green eyes sparkling with amusement, full lips in a pouty grin.

  "Yeah, I'm chock-full of glee," I said, and promptly changed the subject. "Did you hear about Jake turning into a dragon and setting the curator aflame at Gatorland?"

  "No freakin' way!" Zaire strutted across the room, dark, lithe body flexing as she bent and dumped her duffle bag onto the couch.

  What'd Jake look like?" Resi asked all excited. "Damnit, I wish I was there."

  "Your grandmother saw him. We didn't. She said he looked like a thirty-foot, orgasmic, purple dragon," Christopher told them.

  "Deeetaaails!" Resi shouted with a giggle. Marcus chuckled in the background.

  I smiled; finally happy we were talking about something other than them. "Well—"

  "The curator was drunk and started shooting at a gator," Christopher said, taking the wind out of my sail. "The gator got pissed and attacked Jake. Jake transformed, spitting fire all over the place. Your grandmother tried to put the curator out when he got in the way."

  "Holy shit! Did he kill the man?" Zaire's full lips parted, animating steel gray eyes.
r />   "Nah," Christopher said. "Hey, your mother took a shower—"

  I glowered and aggressively ruffled Christopher's hair. "Oh, no, Jake didn't kill the curator." I embellished, "He licked him into a dither. Mom said Jake was huge. Long tail, big teeth, nose blowing smoke, purple and pink scales, silver eyes, orange claws and fire billowed out his mouth."

  I was about to bring it home when Marcus closed my door of opportunity. "Jake fornicated with the gator in dragon form before changing back, and then he licked the mortal." He had his hands in his pockets, looking like this month's cover of Gentleman Quarterly. "Jake was only trying to heal the burns, but your grandmother hit him with a piece of wood before he could finish."

  "He did what with the gator?" Resi's hands flew to her mouth, holding back a giggle.

  "He screwed it to death. Then fried it," Christopher said.

  "Do you have to tell that story again?" Jake walked into to the room in a bright blue suit, pink shirt, matching pink socks, a white tie, and shiny white shoes. "It's so embarrassing."

  "Is my mother making you wear that?" I asked. Jake frowned, running his hands down the front of his white tie.

  "Screw the Miami Vice suit," Resi chirped. "Let's all go outside and you can phase for us."

  "No!" Jake looked extremely tense.

  "Pleeese. I really want to see the dragon," Resi begged.

  Jake shook his head, smoke wafted through fingers covering his mouth.

  "Give it up, man! It's not every day we get to see a real live dragon." Zaire walked up to Jake and threw her arm over his shoulder.

  "Don't make me do this," Jake stammered as Zaire yanked him toward the door.

  "Ladies, this is not a good idea. You don't know what you're asking of him," Marcus warned.

  "Aw, come on. This is a chance of a lifetime," I whined.

  "What's going on?" Mom asked, walking into the living room.

  "Jake's gonna show us the dragon," Resi said, grabbing Jake's other arm.

  "The hell he is!" Mom said.

  "Give it a rest sergeant. You got to see it. It's our turn," I snapped.

  "Susan, this is not a good idea," Mom warned, sounding way too much like Marcus.