Gator Baitin' (The Grateful Undead series Book 2)

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Gator Baitin' (The Grateful Undead series Book 2) Page 25

by Susan Stec


  "It's quite simple. I needed a witch stronger than the sorcerer to get her back," he said with scheming eyes directed at me, "someone that would be capable of killing the old man or, better yet, offering him up for servitude." The demon danced around the side of the circle, his eyes questioning mine. "An achievement not easily accomplished, you see."

  My eyes followed his as he held them captive. I felt the others. I smelled them. Pheromones wafted around my nostrils as the demon flicked the shield with his first finger, making it waver. Paul was growling deep in his throat. Gibbie hovered beside me.

  "I cannot believe my good fortune. The joy I feel is delicious. Your ward is well made. I cannot penetrate it. I'm absolutely exuberant, because…you, my little vampire-witch, can offer me all I ask for?" Rafael said, his eyes sparkling with excitement.

  Holy crap, I was scheming with a freaking demon in a clown suit.

  ~~~

  Chapter 28

  Don't let me cross over…

  ~~~

  "Are you saying I'm capable of capturing both of them?" I asked, making sure I'd heard Rafael right.

  Marcus didn't give him a chance to answer. "It's in the demons best interest to have you believe you can accomplish what he asks, Susan. Take heart in the fact you mean nothing to him."

  "On the contrary, dear boy, this immortal's aura is filling the room. She is a strong witch and I smell demon blood in her veins. Being an immortal only adds to her powers. I look forward to a long relationship with her." Rafael's eyes played over my body, making me shiver.

  Mom walked up to the shield demonstrating a perfect Italian, evil-eye, curse which consisted of an emphatic glare and two fingers pointing alternately at her own eyes and, in this case, at Rafael. "Get your filthy eyes off my kid unless you want to wake up with boils on your ass!"

  "On both cheeks," JoAnn said while checking her cuticles.

  "Whoa! Brazen it out, bitch," Zaire snorted.

  "Deee-mon… Demon in the living room," Resi sang, looking at us with one eyebrow cocked.

  "Alright, dead girls, let's try to focus on the issue at hand," Jeni suggested.

  "Believe me, demon guy my sister doesn't take orders very well, anyway." JoAnn was still on page one.

  "I discourage all of you, strongly, against doing any improvising right now?" Christopher said. "We're a little pressed for time."

  The demon had been watching JoAnn with a distracted look of amusement. "Hey demon guy you done window shopping?" I asked. He turned a grin in my direction.

  "And here I thought the smell of witch and demon blood came only from you, little immortal one. However, it seems we have a whole flock of witches." Rafael clapped his hands, purple fingernails clacking.

  "I am not a witch! I only turn animals immortal. And that's a fang thing," JoAnn declared, so totally clueless.

  In a flash, Rafael's eyes glimmered. He licked his lips.

  "There will be no discussion of who has what powers." Dorius turned to each of us with a face full of caution.

  Paul barked an angry growl.

  Rafael dragged his gaze from us to Paul, and then Jake. After careful scrutiny he erupted in laughter. "Shape shifters. This is indeed my lucky day."

  From his position on the couch, Jake burped a short blue flame, singeing a book on the coffee table. I leapt toward the book, knocking heads with Jeni as she slapped the flames out with a leather throw pillow.

  "A Draco Americanus!" Rafael's eyes dilated solid black then sparkled silver and purple. "Blu Lpozane, I believe? Extraordinary."

  Jake farted.

  "For Christ's sake, Jake," Mom shoved her face in a pillow.

  Thin tendrils of smoke wafted from the Jake's nose.

  Marcus calmly said, "Settle down everyone. We—"

  The demon belted a laugh. Jake squee'd and cut a long acrid fart.

  Christopher chortled, "There's methane in a fart. Don't anybody light a—"

  Everyone but Gibbie, yelled, "Christopher!" Gibbie was bouncing off the side of the bubble like a fly against a window pane.

  The maw and nostrils of the dragon flickered across Jake's face as he snorted a ten foot flame, momentary igniting the inside of the bubble right in front of Rafael.

  "Oh look, a snowball of sizzling immortals," Rafael said facetiously, eyes twinkling through the flickering flames.

  "Don't break the bubble!" Resi shouted as she beat the flames with the only fabric pillow which immediately became tinder.

  Marcus and Paul dove and pinned me to the floor in the middle of the pentagram.

  "We're all going to die and go to Hell!" Making the sign of the cross, JoAnn closed her eyes, fell to her knees and began reverently praying. "…gull of grace, the Lord is with you. Blessed…"

  Resi dropped the pillow a foot from my nose and stomped a dance over it.

  JoAnn prayed, "Holy Mary, mother…"

  "Enough!" Dorius bellowed a momentary silence under JoAnn's incessant drone.

  "…pray for us sinners, now, and at the hour of our death…"

  Jake shrieked, made a hurp-hurp noise then hurled a spray of steam that doused the flames leaving everyone in a fog filled bubble.

  "…my God, I am truly sorry for having offended thee…"

  Zaire and Mom pulled their heads out from under the leather cushion on the recliner.

  "…sins because of your punishment…"

  Mom tried fanning an observation hole in the fog. "Pray harder, JoAnn, we're in purgatory."

  As the fog began to settle I watched Rafael stuff his tapestry scarf in his mouth and burble with laughter.

  Backhanding soggy curls off my forehead, I scowled at the demon.

  Rafael looked down at me with a brazen smile. "Well, that was entertaining.

  I turned my head and stared into Paul's smiling face. "Get the hell off me."

  Marcus stood with the wolf's shirt collar in his fist.

  Paul snarled. Marcus hissed. I got up and pushed them both toward the damp leather couch.

  "Glad we could amuse you, demon." Dorius' voice was not cordial.

  Jake whimpered. Dorius patted Jake's knee and locked eyes with the demon. "Let's get on with this, shall we?"

  Rafael puffed a breath on the outside of the bubble. Polished it with his scarf then taped the surface twice with a long fingernail. "I have what I think you will find to be a lucrative agreement. I am quite certain that you can give me the sorcerer and Erzsebet and in return I will rid you of your burden." He passed around a smile. "With that settled, shall we decide our best avenue of action?"

  Dorius addressed Rafael in a mocking voice. "How can I be sure you will not…misplace her again? I do have a team of Rogue Hunters at my disposal."

  Christopher squirmed beside me. Like him, I wanted to destroy Erzsebet once and for all. I didn't want the rest of the Rogue Hunters involved.

  Rafael's plumage ruffled as his eyes jerked in Dorius' direction, glaring at him for a nanosecond. He quickly became arrogant, throwing his scarf around as he strutted in front of us. "I find it amusing that you have not done so, Dorius. I'm sure there is a reason." His eyes mocked as he judged him. "I can understand your need to keep this discreet. She has quite the beguiling nature, does she not? Surely, you will agree. I let my… well…shall we say I became besotted with her lust for pain and lewd sex and I let my guard down, not unlike you, Dorius. But she no longer amuses me. Does she still amuse you?"

  I looked at the pain in Dorius' eyes. He didn't answer.

  The demon grinned from ear to ear. Turning his back on us, he strutted to the window, pulled his red hat off and fanned himself with it. His long white hair cascaded over his shoulders like wisps of angel wings, billowing out with each wave of his hat. He stood with his feet apart, toes pointing out. The view of his bulbous butt dressed out in purple made a tempting target. My shield was protecting his ass from the toe of my shoe. He had one hand on his cocked hip as he watched the woods waking outside the window, effectively extending the silenc
e in the room.

  Dorius sighed. "I made my choice long ago, Rafael, and I expected you to honor our contract. I will not make the same mistake twice."

  "Is there a way we can destroy her?" I blurted out, getting a mental caution flag from Marcus.

  Rafael slowly turned to me. "There is always a way to destroy, but that would not be to my advantage. And without me, you could not achieve Dorius' desired results." His sardonic grin slid in Dorius' direction.

  Mom shook the pinky she had stuffed in her ear. "This is bullshit. I want the bitch gone permanently. We can handle this, Dorius." Mom tugged her spandex out of her ass. "Kick the demon's ass out of here."

  "That's what I'm saying," Zaire spat.

  "Are you two out of your mind?" Christopher wanted to know, Spidey shoes squeaking as he strutted across the floor. "Erzsebet is in a mirror, for Christ's sake. I couldn't even touch her at the cabin. Can all of you just nip it for at least five minutes?"

  "I'm not fighting a sorcerer." Jake's voice rose in pitch as he spoke.

  Everyone in the bubble consoled as they leaned out of Jake's line of fire.

  Dorius growled, "I assure you, demon, I could have the rest of my team here in a heartbeat."

  We all turned to him. We hadn't questioned why he wasn't calling in his Rogue Hunters. We all have our fangs in this one and none of us wants to get back to critter control.

  Rafael's lips spread in a mawkishly sympathetic grin. "Dorius, I will not question your desire to keep this…simple." They looked at each other for a heartbeat; understanding flashed between them. I wondered if Dorius really wanted to kill this woman. Marcus rumbled a warning, nipping my need to ask.

  Rafael bellowed a laugh and rubbed his hands together. "This team can achieve the desired results or I wouldn't be wasting my time. I will never allow her to be destroyed. I would like to make an example of her. She will suffer greatly for the mocking I have received from my brethren, I assure you. Surely you can see my need for retribution, Dorius," Rafael quipped, turning a coy smile.

  "Yes, as I am sure you can also see my need to make this a final arrangement," Dorius replied.

  "Duly noted, do you accept my terms, vampire witch?" Rafael asked, pointing with his toe and raising his eyebrows, head flopping to one side as he looked at me.

  I started to tell him it sounded like a plan to me.

  "Not quite," Dorius said, and my head slowly pivoted in his direction.

  "Then state your contract. I am getting bored with your insolence," Rafael hissed back.

  Dorius stared with unyielding restraint. "We will offer the sorcerer, dead. His soul is yours. Erzsebet will be returned to you the way she left, but only if you send her into the Outerworld of Darkness for one-thousand years, to neither speak with nor see another being, be it human or Otherworldly, during the time served. At the end of her punishment, she must never be allowed to enter the human world again. If she does, in any form, no matter what the reason, you will owe each one of us standing before you a favor to draw on as we see fit."

  Dang, now that was sealing a bargain. I looked at Rafael as he paced the floor in front of my shield. He wasn't looking so feisty at the moment.

  "Shit, almost makes you wish the bitch gets out again," Zaire said.

  "I have a couple of wishes," JoAnn mumbled, plucking her damp t-shirt away from her body.

  "I want the sorcerer alive and the rest of the pact will be honored." Rafael placed deadly eyes on Dorius.

  "We will not give you the sorcerer alive," Marcus interrupted. "We're well aware of the implications if we do so."

  "Then I will not bargain with you," Rafael huffed, waving his brocade scarf around.

  "Ohhh, give me a break," Mom griped.

  "We could put the demon in my decorative Avon bottle until he grants us our wishes," JoAnn tried.

  "He's not a genie, you idiot," I snorted.

  "Wasn't that bottle part of a holiday nativity collection?" Jeni asked.

  Resi's chaotic laughter filled the room.

  "Go ahead. Laugh. Avon bottles are going to be worth lots of money someday." JoAnn skipped through the gates of dementia as she puckered her lips and matter-of-factly nodded.

  "Aunt JoAnn," Jeni giggled, "do you not see the humor in—"

  "Laaadieees!" Gibbie screeched. "Focus!"

  "I will not help you if you do not give me the sorcerer," Rafael pouted.

  "Fine. Hoof it back to Hell," Christopher groused. "We got it."

  "You cannot dismiss me, immortal. The witch called me. I will deal with her. Will you honor my wishes? What say ye, witch?" Rafael asked, flipping the end of his scarf in my direction.

  I pointed at Dorius. "I'd say you're shit out of luck, because he's in charge here."

  "F’n-A," Zaire shouted, pumping her arm.

  Dorius tossed him a grin, albeit an evil one, but nonetheless a grin.

  Rafael stomped his foot, arms swinging, scarf flying. "You anger me! I want the sorcerer!"

  "Jesus, you're worse than my idiot daughters," Mom huffed.

  "Naaan-naaa, niiip iiit," Resi sang.

  "You can't have him alive," Gibbie squealed and buzzed a circle before landing on Jeni's shoulder.

  "Yeah," Christopher added, "so just take the bitch and be glad we even offered to help."

  "Pissing the demon off! Let's stop turning the knife, shall we," Jeni sung as she rubbed Gibbie's little cowboy boots.

  Rafael kicked the shield almost getting a laugh out of me. I swallowed it back, figuring I better try smoothing his ruffled feathers instead. "Look, you're going to get his soul and you're going to get Erzsebet back. We gain nothing except stopping her before the mortal world is up all of our asses. You stand to lose just as much if this continues. You might want to think about what your peers would say if you were the one that caused the mortal world to wake up and smell the immortal decay." I started praying he saw the error of his ungodly ways.

  Very well said, darling, Marcus pushed. I got all cocky and smiled at him.

  Rafael turned that deadly stare on me. "Then state the pact in your own words and be done with it."

  My prayers did an about face. I'd be oh-so grateful if I could remember the frigging thing. I looked at Dorius. He waved me on. "Um, let me see. Uh, we kill the sorcerer and you can have his soul." Dorius nodded, urging me to continue. "Erzsebet will not be killed and you get to take her back just the way she was when she got away from you, but only if you send her into the…the…um…"

  "Outerworld of Darkness," Christopher quickly whispered.

  I smiled at him. "Right, Outerworld of Darkness for one thousand years, and she can't speak with or see anyone while she's there. That means not a human or one of us Otherworld creatures." I was on a roll. "If you decide to bring her out of the…umm, the Outerworld of Darkness…" I said quickly, smiling at Christopher, "...and just to go on record, I'd like to say, I'd leave her ass there." I turned and smiled at everyone, getting a frown from Dorius. "Anyway, after she sits there alone for a thousand years, and then you take her out, if she gets away from you in any way, shape, or form, and shows up back here in the human world, no matter what the reason is…you owe each one of us a favor and we can ask for anything we want."

  I looked over at Dorius. He smiled, and Christopher gave me the thumbs up.

  The demon shook his head, eyes searching the heavens. "I, Rafael, agree to the contract spoken by the witch, and—"

  "Excuse me, but would you mind using my birth name? It's Susan Stech," I said.

  Rafael frowned at me. "If you wish to get technical, immortal witch, I will appeeease you." He scowled, getting all uppity as he strutted around, waving his arms and sealing the bargain in a hurried voice, "I, Rafael, demon in the army of Lord Rahovart, tormentor of the affluent and companion of Satan, do hereby accept the terms of the pact presented to me by Susan Stech, an immortal witch bound to earth." He turned to me and laughed manically. "Is that acceptable, immortal witch?"

  "I'll say. D
amn, you have quite a boss there, poor guy. And I thought Dorius was bad. Now that we have that settled, how's about you tell me how I'm going to accomplish this?" I asked, thinking I'd just cut a deal with a spawn of Satan dressed like a flaming flamingo.

  "Do you wish to bargain for this additional information?" He shook his head. "No? I didn't think so. Now dismiss me please, and do call me again when you are willing to pay for my services," he announced, pompously.

  I raised my hands. "Hold on. At least tell me where you'll be when we kill the sorcerer and have Erzsebet ready for you?"

  "You merely need to summon me. I will take care of the rest." Rafael was smiling at JoAnn. She wiggled uncomfortably. I was about to address it, but the demon faced me with nasty eyes and asked, "May I take my leave?"

  "Ahhh, I'm thinkin'," I said, and looked at Dorius.

  "Let him go." Dorius gave JoAnn a curious glance. "You can summon him again at the site and dismiss him after he has custody of Erzsebet."

  "Okay," I answered meekly.

  The demon cleared his throat.

  "What?" I leered at Rafael.

  "Command me to leave, please."

  "Oh, sorry. You mean I have to tell you to go?"

  "Yesss," both he and Dorius answered.

  "Be gone with you, demon," I ordered with a flamboyant wave of my hand, feeling kind of special.

  And poof, he was gone.

  "Well all-righty then!" Zaire laughed.

  Resi tittered.

  JoAnn got up, walking to the edge of the shield. "Can you let me out? I'm soggy and I feel tainted." She shuddered. "I need a shower."

  I stuck my finger into the side of the shield and it melted away. I was feeling pretty damn happy with myself.

  Mom burst my bubble. "Okay, Miss-Smarty-Pants, tell me how we kill a sorcerer and capture a bitch from Hell?"

  "I'm bringing a gun!" Christopher shouted.

  I glared at him.

  "I don't think a gun is necessary, Christopher." Marcus gave me a hug.

  "That went well, don't you think?" Jeni asked, rubbing her face and hair with a kitchen towel.

  Paul grinned at Jeni.

  Dorius mumbled, "Chick's right. We have to make good on our part of the bargain."

 

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