Why then was I being stubborn in my refusal of Fiercely?
I struggled not to compare the two, yet I kept thinking that Fiercely accommodated everything I did without question.
I set a boundary, and he towed the line, no arguments.
He did as I bid, and I carried on as I pleased.
In essence, Fiercely endorsed my running roughshod over him.
Realising this, I began to understand why Venomous acted so aggressively to get me to submit to his claim.
He’d recognised the likelihood of my resistance, and decided early on to lock me down tight.
Converse to this tactic, Fiercely backed off, and sought my approval, something in my past life I believed I’d respond positively to.
Ironically, Fiercely Comes the Night wouldn’t get what he wanted acting as he did.
His hesitant courtship and Venomous’ assertive one taught me about myself.
I didn’t want any male I fell in love with to crush my spirit.
Equally, I didn’t want to be the aggressor in my relationships.
Perhaps giving me time to mull over and dissect the situation had me over thinking it.
Did Fiercely expect in time his passive courtship would wear me down?
That in the end I’d roll over and let him in?
If he took the time to really look at it, at me, he was already in there.
Fiercely saved my life.
He’d protected me when the circumstances prevented Venomous reaching me.
That alone earned him a lifetime of devotion if not my affection.
That didn’t mean I’d pretend to feel what I didn’t.
I liked him, a lot, and I was attracted to him physically, but what red-blooded woman wouldn’t be attracted to a fierce warrior with an eight pack, killer smile and the noblest of intentions?
I wasn’t in love with him, though, and I refused to call him my mate when I didn’t feel that way, and hadn’t taken some time to take stock and make the right decision.
It would cheapen the budding friendship between us, and lessen what grew between Venomous and I.
Could I fall in love with him?
Scary as it was to admit, yes.
After talking to Venomous about it, I developed an understanding my love wasn’t diminished by numbers, and he would not see me as unfaithful.
The riot of emotion I felt around Fiercely did have the potential to settle into me loving him.
Based on how he reacted to displays of affection between Venomous and I, would he be comfortable with the physical manifestations of my love?
I worried he looked on my relationship with his guild kin, and expected the connection between us to be the same.
Our personalities would bring forth a relationship of a distinctly other kind.
“Did you hear, my Lumen?” Venomous asked with a caress of knuckles to my hanging jaw. “Soon you will be forever safe, sheltered by our kindred. Are you pleased?”
My mind was stuffed, but I focused long enough to work up a panic over what was to come.
What if the Rä couldn’t see past my occasional neurosis to my better qualities as Venomous did?
“Was it not thoughtful of your second to go out of his way to bring this news so you can prepare?” he coaxed rocking me side to side.
I mumbled, “Sure,” not really paying attention.
Would the Rä forever see me as an offworlder?
An interloper who didn’t belong?
An ugly alien?
Considering the amount of controversy I’d be inviting into his life, aside from the biological tie, why Fiercely wanted to be mine I didn’t know.
We got along well enough before his wanting to mate me, but his decision to push for more confused me.
I knew why I liked him, but what did he like about me?
Was it all biological?
Would it offend him if I asked him to explain what he felt in detail?
Venomous cooed, “And you are pleased by his actions?”
“Mmm.”
“Good.” My male was tenacious in carrying the discussion. “This is wonderful.”
“A most joyous event,” Fiercely ground out.
He sounded anything but happy.
Oddly, it was that which pulled me into the conversation.
Sensing my attention had engaged, Venomous pressed on, determined to make the vision of family he had in mind work. “This is a chance for us all to have a new beginning. Returning home to build a new life. Together.”
Repressing the urge to run off boohooing because I was so bloody stressed, I faced Fiercely and deliberated forcing a smile.
I decided against it because likely it’d appear more a grimace.
For all my dithering, I didn’t want him to get the wrong idea by thinking I didn’t want him around.
Was that healthy?
To want his attention, yet hold him at arm’s length until I was sure he wouldn’t ruin what I already had?
Would it be better to bow to the inevitable and give in, but then wasn’t I just sure a passive courtship wouldn’t win me?
Biting my lip, I eyed him.
He stood before me seeking approval, so could I really call it passive?
Was I being unreasonable, setting a standard he’d never meet because I was unsure of myself?
Should I not give the male a break?
Fiercely Comes the Night wasn’t just impressive to look at, he was gorgeous by any standard of masculinity.
Tall and muscled with strong features that were handsome in a softer, more symmetrical way than Venomous’.
The gold in his septum, ears and brow scales verified his prowess if one acknowledged the Rä way.
The reality was physical looks mattered little.
Gazing at the beautiful face of a soulless brute wouldn’t make me happy for the rest of my life.
After losing my world, my way, I needed to laugh and feel joy.
I needed true desire for the mind, body and soul of my mate, or mates, as the case might turn out to be.
Nothing less would satisfy.
So, I waited for Fiercely to give me a sign.
A sign that made accepting him as my second mate beyond doubt the right thing.
He needed to join my clan and enhance it, not cause friction or foster negative vibes that might destroy what Venomous and I built.
So, yes, he did have to meet a standard.
I had ones to meet myself, acclimatising to a new world and its culture without losing my mind.
I had to put other people first.
It was a frame of mind I was inexperienced with having lost my family young.
Even as he put the happy median I’d achieved at risk, Fiercely had proved he’d protect us and respect Venomous’ place, had he not?
He’d demonstrated a willingness to give me space, took my emotional welfare into account, all at his own expense, giving me time to adjust.
Taking a breath, I asked, “You come from the Eastern province, don’t you, Fiercely?”
It was the first time I’d spoken to him since our confrontation.
“Yesss,” he replied and edged closer. He ran all four hands down his torso to smooth out nonexistent wrinkles in his hardsuit. “It is warmer. Flatter.” He angled his face towards me. “Flowers of red and blue grow from the sands. Our Zýt do not rattle. They have beautiful hoods like Grandfather. Shapes and patterns and colours like you’ve never seen.”
I scrunched my nose at the unfamiliar term. “Zýt?”
The males shared a short, perplexed look.
“Creatures that live in our home,” Venomous said.
“Distant cousins that did not evolve,” Fiercely added.
It sounded as if they were pets. “It sounds lovely.”
He bent until our faces were level, voice lowered as he grinned. “It is.”
“Is the North as pretty?”
“Better,” Venomous assured. “Nowhere on Rök is as scenic.”
“The East is more bountiful,” Fiercely boasted his eyes narrowing.
“But the Northern Warriors Guild is undefeated, and our Hunters Caste superior.”
“They have to be. There is hardly any prey.”
Venomous’ lip quirked, ceding the verbal joust. “Truth.”
Body vibrating joy, he gave me a squeeze.
It told me without words how excited he was to return home after years of slavery.
I latched my gaze onto Fiercely because he’d shifted closer.
Close enough, I felt the heat of his body.
He would be leaving us then.
My stomach knotted. “You’re staying with us for a while? Aren’t you?”
Hearing something indefinable in my voice, he studied my expression.
“For a while,” he echoed.
The tangle in my middle came undone.
My lips curved. “So you’re going to show me around? You’re not going to hide me away?”
Fiercely remained wary, but didn’t conceal the hope that flickered across his features. “We will visit many places once you feel settled. I am honoured to be there as you experience our home world.”
Gosh, but I like him.
I liked that he didn’t pretend he was above showing me he cared, and wanted my attention.
Working with the tentative flow we had going, I wrapped my arm around his waist.
I held both males, and it felt right.
Shy, working through new emotions, I hid my face to speak. “How long until we land?”
Fiercely said nothing.
I felt his arm curl around my back, and another lift, so his knuckles could ever-so-softly rub my cheek.
Pushing aside uncertainty, I nudged into his hand, showing my affection, hoping he gleaned the unsaid in my display of faith.
I kept my eyes averted, but saw his chest flex as he released a breath.
I snuck a look at Venomous.
He gazed down on me with a tender expression then kissed the side of my head. “Nest mate, how long?”
Fiercely’s hand fell. “Less than a span.”
“We will be ready.”
Reluctance threaded the lines of his frame as Fiercely stepped away. “I await you on the command deck then.” With a last look at me, he spun on his heel then left.
Blowing a breath, I peeked at my mate. “This is it.”
“My Rä’Na.” He cupped my jaw, and touched his forehead to mine. “Always do you surprise me.”
My face blanked, my tone nonchalant. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You accepted him.”
Unable to hide my feelings, my gaze skittered from his. “No I didn’t. Don’t assume anything.”
“Lumen....”
Damn him and his sexy rumble of a voice.
I shivered in pleasure even as I glowered. “It’s not like I have much choice.”
“So you accept him?”
I lobbed him a dark look.
His hands went up in the air. “What are you waiting for?
There was a jumble in my head and heart, especially when it came to the subject of how Venomous claimed me.
Fiercely’s claim dug up shit I wasn’t ready to work through.
Part of me rejoiced in being Venomous’.
An unforgiving part that was heartsick, bruised, slashed through my happiness when I least expected it; like right then. “Did you ask to be my mate?”
“What need was there to ask? You are mine. I knew it the moment I saw you. But Fiercely Comes the Night is not me.”
Thoughts untidy, feeling too much emotion to process in a healthy, meaningful way, I traced the engraved gold on his bicep.
My fingers danced from hard metal to scaled flesh. “Whatever.” I shoved hurting, less agreeable emotions deep into the recesses of my mind. “Leave it for a while, okay? It’s him I need to talk this out with, not you.”
“Poor male,” Venomous murmured speaking more to himself than me. “He does not know what to do with you, I think.”
“He’ll have to learn, won’t he? He says he cares, and deserves to be part of this clan.” My chin lifted. “Fine. He has to prove it though. I won’t accept him because his biology is forcing me to. He has to show he can love us.”
“Rä males court their female after the mating, my Lumen. You know this.”
“So? I’m not like the females he knows. I won’t give in just so his feelings aren’t hurt.”
“No, you most certainly are not like Rä females. Though you drive me to madness, I thank Zython for it.” Venomous urged me towards the nest. “Come. We must make ready. It is time for us to go home.”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Battling the urge to tremble, I stood riveted on the viewing platform of the Trekker.
In front of me was the mother haze.
I focused on the majestic sight of Rök, on the sparkling bands of its silvery ring system.
I did this because all that separated me from the yawning vastness of outer space was a gaseous substance calibrated to turn see-through, and act as a viewing portal, evaporate completely to become a doorway, or solidify into a barrier.
Wearing a sleeveless green softsuit that swept the floor, and exposed my back to the cleft of my bottom, I wore my second choice of the gold necklaces Venomous gifted me, and one of Fiercely’s armbands doubled over on my bicep.
Upon reaching command, he’d taken one look at my gold, glowered at Venomous, and then ripped off some of his own with a gruff request I wear it.
I smiled into my shoulder at the memory.
As we approached the planet, I inched closer to the haze.
I couldn’t help it.
The view was magnificent.
Smaller than Earth, Rök’s curve was a fuzzy white with colourful swirls that made up the upper atmosphere.
Below that were vast stretches of green.
Because of the angle we approached all three moons were in view.
You could see one in the morning, one during the day, and the last at night.
I looked forward to seeing the Bluest Moons, when all three were in the sky together, something that happened once a solar in the North where we were to live.
My mounting excitement had me fidgeting.
Yes, there was a chance Venomous’ kindred would freak when they saw me in the flesh, a chance he’d kept his worry from me, and when we landed, I’d be detained, locked in a dungeon then fed a mouldy crust of alien substance until I perished.
But alien freaking planet!
I was Lumen Young, explorer of the cosmos.
It sounded grand, and my chest puffed up because I felt like a boss.
I might not have been special back on Earth, but I’d survived everything hurled at me once yanked off it.
Fuck it, I’m a rebel cosmonaut.
A welcome presence joined me.
Brawny arms banded about my waist then tucked me into a muscular chest covered in matte black armour.
Stand up collar hugging a strong throat, the anise, etherish tang of the rubbery textile enhanced the earthy scent of the powerful male it sheltered.
Twitchy with anticipation, I twisted my head. “How hot does it get?”
Venomous’ square chin landed on my shoulder. “Very. The sand will burn your feet. I shall carry you until we find you footwear made from a material light enough.”
While the fabricator onboard the Trekker could make boots my size, it was made from a material so heavy, I couldn’t lift my feet.
Venomous nuzzled my throat.
The a’Rä monitoring communications glanced our way, a telling thing.
Its stare lingered on our entwined hands resting at my middle.
The Rä warriors hadn’t grown used to how touchy-feely Venomous and I were.
They didn’t know what to make of us, of me.
Venomous didn’t care what they thought, ignored their censorious reactions, and not once had he withheld his
touch, or withdrawn from mine.
His indifferent attitude was sweetly reassuring, badass, meaning I didn’t freak when I felt eyes on me, which was all the time I was outside our quarters.
As far as I could tell, the Rä were appreciative, if not darn grateful for my assistance when they were captured by the Dei San.
The head bows and claws pressed to secondary hearts proved they at least respected me as Venomous’ Rä’Na.
What more could I ask for?
Less than a span later, Venomous and Fiercely ushered me to the landing bay and led me into one of the small, ten-seat crafts.
The a’Rä pilot, Great Voice to Roar, inclined his head to me as the doors slid shut, tasting my mounting apprehension as his tongue flickered. “Nothing to fear, honoured Rä’Na. We shall land safely.” His attention turned to his dashboard. His voice took on a commanding slant. “Base, domestic planetary vessel originating from the Trekker requesting permission to begin atmospheric entry in quarter-span. Please lower shields.”
I tuned out the radioed response.
Entranced, I gaped as the metal shields slid back from the nose of the bullet shaped transport in concertina folds.
Onboard the Trekker, I’d resolved not to look out the window when on the smaller craft, knowing the immensity of space would overwhelm me.
Yet as we breached the outer atmosphere, I couldn’t peel my eyes away.
The glowing curve of the planet grew larger and brought tears of joy to my eyes.
I chanced a glance at Venomous and my face crumpled.
He wasn’t looking at Rök, his beloved home world, but at me.
The black orbs of his eyes gleamed as they watched me react to what would be my home planet.
He grinned, joy suffusing his rough-hewn features.
His shuddering breath conveyed how important it was to him I be happy.
Pings echoed across the hull, and the craft shuddered with turbulent vibrations.
Jumping, I flung out my hands.
To my panicked mind, I defended against, and attacked whatever came next.
One set of clasping fingers latched onto Venomous’ groin and the other dug into Fiercely’s throat.
“What’s that?” I hissed eyes darting. “Slavers? Pirates?”
“Atmospheric drag,” Venomous wheezed prying me loose. He set my white-knuckled hand on my arm rest, but kept hold of it.
Venomous: Erotic Science Fiction Romance (Alien Warrior Book 1) Page 28