“Really?” Nathan’s voice went quiet. “And where are you going to put them?”
Charlotte had a feeling she was in trouble. Christine’s face told her so. But she carried on as if she hadn’t noticed.
“In the saloon, of course. And in our little apartment here. They’ll be up against the walls or hanging from the ceiling. They won’t get in the way, and it will make the place look festive. I…”
“NO!”
Charlotte jumped. She had expected a little resistance but not like this. She glanced at Christine, who was beginning to look uncomfortable.
“I beg your pardon?”
“NO. You’re not hanging THESE up HERE.” Nathan kicked at the paper reindeer Charlotte had drawn and cut out. “I won’t allow it.”
Charlotte flinched as her husband kicked her decorations. She had spent ages decorating them and getting them ready to bring some festive cheer. Christine put down her end of the chain and stood, wiping her hands on her dress awkwardly.
“I’m going to check on the maids and see if they need any help,” she mumbled.
Charlotte glared at her back. “Traitor.”
Christine gave her a helpless look before stepping around Nathan and disappearing out the door. Charlotte was unsure what to do, but something told her to be strong. She stood, adjusted her skirts, and faced her husband, who was glaring at her. She had never seen him this upset before, and she didn’t know what to make of it. Still, Charlotte wasn’t going to back down because her husband said so. She faced him and lifted her chin defiantly.
“Why aren’t we allowed, Nate? It’s only Christmas fun.”
“It may be Christmas fun to you, but this is my home.” Nathan shot back. “What I say goes in my home.”
He was going to pull that one on her? Charlotte felt her anger rising.
“It’s my home as well,” she pointed out sharply. “And I think I shouldn’t need to ask permission to make and hang up decorations in my own home.”
But Nathan was already shaking his head. He picked up the chain and tossed it across the room.
“No, Charlotte.” He swung around on her. “None of this is going up.”
Charlotte couldn’t understand what was going on. Where was the man she had married? The man she had fallen in love with seemed to be a distant memory compared to the man going red with anger. Watching him destroy all her hard work and all her anticipation of the season to come sparked something inside her. Within moments her anger matched his as she began to shout.
“Why are you so mean, Nate? It’s not as if we’re doing anything wrong. We’re just having fun!”
“I’m being mean?” Nathan snorted rudely. “I’m just being practical; you are too ill to be spending all your energy on these. You want this more than you want to be with me.”
“What?”
“You heard me, you are too ill, so I have to be practical to stop you from doing things.”
Charlotte had heard the hurt in his voice and yet she could not wrap her head around it... around what he said and what he really meant. He felt she was neglecting him. Had she been? No, he had pushed her away, had been so strange with her, treating her as if she was useless. Anger flared again, and she clung onto the part of the conversation that she could understand. “You may be practical but forget about it this time.” Charlotte prodded a finger into his chest. “I want to celebrate Christmas, and that means hanging up things I’ve spent a long time making, giving you gifts I’ve given a lot of thought to and spending time with friends and new family. I don’t want to sit in a saloon where nothing seems to have changed, and it’s like every other day. Christmas is different for a reason.”
“Not here,” Nathan snapped back.
Charlotte could see she wasn’t getting through to him. With a frustrated sigh, she went to a nearby chair and snatched up her coat and shawl. Maybe a threat would get it through to him.
“Then you can celebrate it alone,” she snapped. “I’m not staying here while you mooch around grumbling about my favorite time of year. While you spoil my favorite time of year. While you treat me as if I am not capable of anything. I’ll go and stay with Rachel. She did say there was a party she would like some help with.” Charlotte shrugged into her coat and strode towards the door. “I’ll go and do that and stay there until you realize how unfair you’re being.”
Chapter 8
Nathan felt a little panic when Charlotte declared she was leaving. He didn’t want her to leave. Christmas didn’t have the magic it had once had for him when he was younger, but he still acknowledged it. He just wanted her to have a quiet Christmas so she wouldn’t overtax herself and become ill again. Why couldn’t she see he was doing this for her?
Still, he didn’t want to lose his wife because they had a difference of opinion over a single day.
Then, as Charlotte talked and got into her coat, Nathan realized something. She wasn’t out of breath. She wasn’t coughing and struggling to talk around it. Despite her anger, Charlotte’s words were strong and clear.
She didn’t sound ill anymore.
On impulse, Nathan darted in front of Charlotte as she reached the door. Charlotte gave him an exasperated look.
“Get out of my way.”
“Charlotte…”
“No, don’t. I don’t want to hear it.”
She tried to step around him, but Nathan grabbed her arm and spun her around. Then he kissed her. Charlotte let out a noise of surprise and tried to pull away, but he deepened the kiss. Parting her lips gently, tenderly. Charlotte melted into his arms and kissed him back. Nathan pulled back once she had softened in his hold and smiled.
“You’re not out of breath,” he commented. “Thinking about it, you haven’t struggled for breath for a while.”
Charlotte snorted and gave him a frustrated look.
“Nice of you to finally, notice.” She sneered. “I haven’t been short of breath for nearly two weeks. Living in New York wasn’t good for me but if you’re not going to appreciate my efforts and respect what I do then I may as well go back.”
“What?” Back to New York? Nathan felt the panic begin to rise. “You would leave me?”
“Yes, I would.” Charlotte bit her lip, her expression nearly crumbling as tears welled up in her eyes. But she didn’t look away. “I would be the laughing stock of my family because my marriage didn’t work and my health would go downhill again but I’m willing to do it if I’m not wanted or appreciated.” She sniffled and stepped back, squaring her shoulders as she attempted to gain some composure.
The sight of her about to cry had Nathan’s already weakened resolve crumbling.
“I won’t decide anything until after Christmas, though. I would like to spend it with Rachel.”
She turned away, trying to duck around him. But Nathan wasn’t about to let her walk away. The knowledge that he was about to lose his wife made him go cold. It had only been a few short weeks, but he had gotten used to Charlotte being in his life. She was a major part of his day, and Nathan couldn’t think of anyone better than her to be married to.
There was no way he was letting her leave.
He grabbed her and spun her around, slipping his arms around her. Charlotte opened her mouth to protest but was silenced when it was covered with Nathan’s. He kept the kiss firm, not letting up until Charlotte melted into his arms and started kissing him back. Her hands curled into his shirt and fisted against the fabric, pulling herself closer to him.
Nathan could have stayed there all day. But kissing Charlotte wasn’t enough to make her change her mind. Reluctantly he pulled back, cupping the back of her head as he rested her forehead against his. Both of them were breathing heavily. Nathan could feel Charlotte’s heart beating furiously against his chest. For a moment he panicked and then he realized it was not her health but their combined passion that had her panting.
“Don’t go,” Nathan pleaded quietly. “Please. I do need you. I’ve always needed you, and I want you h
ere. I’m just…” He swallowed. “I don’t want to use your illness as an excuse for the way I act all the time. It’s just... I... I so worry about your health, and I worry too much. Every time I see you doing something I have to stop you. I fear you may stop breathing like you did that first day and the air freezes in my chest, and I have to act.”
“That is what you have been doing?” she asked.
“Yes... what did you think?”
Charlotte let a tentative smile cross her face. “I thought you thought I was incapable, that you were stopping me because you didn’t trust me.”
“Never,” he said. “I was stopping you because I care for you and I didn’t want any stress to risk making you ill.”
“And these,” she looked at the now ruined Christmas decorations.
“I’m not a fan of the holidays, and when I saw them and thought that you may hurt yourself on something so trivial, then I just went mad.”
“I understand about the holidays,” Charlotte said. She still sounded breathless. “But can’t you see, Nate? I’m fine. You shouldn’t worry so much.”
“I know. But I do love you, Charlotte.” Nathan smiled at Charlotte’s startled expression. He had never said that to her before. He stroked her jaw with his thumb and kissed her forehead. “I don’t want you to walk away. Just let me work on this thing between us. It’s going to be hard to remember that you’re stronger than you look and I don’t need to treat you like spun glass.”
Charlotte got over her surprise quickly. A dark red blush started across her cheeks, and she smiled. Nathan sagged in relief as she leaned in and kissed him. Then she pulled back and gave him a warning look, a smile still twitching her mouth.
“If you love me you wouldn’t need to worry so much.”
Nathan shrugged.
“Isn’t that what people in love do? They worry about each other?”
“I guess.” Charlotte sighed and looked uncertain. “I guess I’m only just learning about it myself if I’m honest.”
Nathan smiled. “Does that mean?”
“Yes, Nathan, I love you, I love you very much, and it would break my heart to leave you.”
“Then don’t.”
“If things don’t change then I don’t think I know how to stay. How to love you.”
“I can change... now let me show you how to love me and how good things can be.”
Charlotte nodded and opened her mouth to speak, but Nathan kissed her, silencing any further discussion.
Epilogue
Charlotte grunted as she lifted a cooking pan out of the pantry. Nathan’s cook had expressed the need to use it the day before but had been too busy to actually go and find it. Charlotte decided she would do it herself and put it in reach before everyone else came in to work. It was New Year’s Eve; things were going to get very busy in the saloon.
The last two weeks had been bliss with Nathan. He had eased off, for the most part, allowing her more freedom as he understood she wasn’t as ill as she had been before. They had enjoyed a wonderful Christmas, full of friends and celebrations and yet they had found time to spend together. Their love was growing stronger each day, and so was their marriage. True to his word, Nathan had eased up but he still fussed too much and so Charlotte had taken to doing things when he wasn’t looking. It was clear in the beginning that he was struggling a little not to help her. Often, one look from Charlotte and Nathan eased back but not always, hence the early trip to search out the pan.
They had gotten into a routine but then in the last two days Nathan had been slipping back into his previous ways. Charlotte started feeling dizzy and had to sit down often. Nathan would fret around her and refused to let her do anything. Christine had urged her brother not to smother Charlotte again, but Nathan wouldn’t hear of it. He had to take care of Charlotte, and his wife wasn’t to lift a finger. And this was getting Charlotte frustrated.
She was dizzy for a reason, and it wasn’t from overwork, and she wasn’t ill. Still, Nathan refused to listen. So, she had taken to being sneaky with what she did; Charlotte would creep around and do chores she knew Nathan would get mad at her for doing. The only thing he didn’t get worried about her doing was her sewing, which was something of a relief. Charlotte didn’t know what she would do if she was refrained from her favorite pastime.
Still, it was annoying and upsetting that her husband had forgotten their agreement not to fret over her doing the simplest of things.
Charlotte managed to lift the pan and was carrying it across the kitchen to the counter when Nathan came in, taking off his apron. When he saw what Charlotte was doing, he dropped his apron and hurried towards her.
“Here, darling, let me take that.”
“I’m fine.” Charlotte adjusted her grip on the pans handle. “It’s not that heavy.”
And it wasn’t. It was certainly lighter than it looked. But Nathan virtually snatched it out of her hands.
“Don’t be daft. You’ll do your back in.”
Charlotte stared at him in surprise, the surprise giving way to annoyance as Nathan lifted the pan onto the counter.
“Oh, come off it!” she snapped. “I’ve been lifting heavy things for ages without you having a heart attack over it. There’s no need to stand over me.”
Nathan grinned and chucked her chin.
“You’re a little weakling compared to me,” he said. “I can handle it.”
Charlotte didn’t know if it was Nathan’s attitude towards her or her raging hormones, but something inside her snapped. She raised her eyebrows and moved towards the pan.
“Did you just call me a weakling?”
Nathan’s face paled when he saw her reaction and he started to backtrack, moving away from her.
“I didn’t mean it like that, Charlotte…”
“Like hell you didn’t!”
With a scream that could have been described as a battle cry, Charlotte picked up the pan and flung it at Nathan. Nathan ducked, and the pan clattered against the door, landing on the floor with a loud bang. Charlotte glared at Nathan, who stared at the pan at his feet.
“See? I can lift it. I can carry it with no problems, and I’m not out of breath.” She jabbed a finger in his direction. “Stop treating me like a little girl, Nate! I thought we agreed you were going to stop hovering over me. I can manage absolutely fine so you can shove it!”
Nathan straightened up, still staring at the pan. Then he looked at Charlotte, his mouth opened and a stunned expression on his face. Then he threw back his head and began to laugh.
Charlotte blinked, her anger dissipating in her surprise. She hadn’t expected this reaction.
“What?” she snapped. “What are you laughing at?”
“You showed me.” Nathan chuckled. He nudged the pan away with his foot and approached her. “You’re definitely a lot stronger than you were before. I guess I don’t need to smother you so much.”
Charlotte was still staring at him as he slipped his arms around her.
“So that was to prove a point?”
“Not intentionally.” Nathan kissed her forehead. “But it’s certainly validated you. You can manage without me.”
Charlotte groaned and rested her head against his chest. “Yes I can, and I’m pleased you finally saw it.”
“Only I can’t manage without you,” he said. “I like to help you because I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“I’m not sure why I love a woman who throws things at me,” he mumbled. Nathan’s body shook as he laughed.
“Do you want a list?”
“Not right now.”
Charlotte lifted her head and raised an eyebrow at him. “What are you going to do when I get pregnant? You can’t stand over me all the time and pregnant women have been doing a lot of hard things since the dawn of time.”
“I understand that.” Nathan grimaced. “I’ll just have to grit my teeth and step back. It won’t be easy, but I’ll do it.”
“You’d be
tter. Or I’ll set your sister on you.”
“I’m scared.”
Charlotte giggled and tugged her head down onto his chest and hugged him before pulling back and looking at his beautiful face.
She was glad that Nathan would step back when she told him she was pregnant. She had been planning to save the good news until after the New Year celebrations. Only, looking at him now, at the light in his eyes and the way his face glowed with love, she couldn’t stop herself. “I’m having a baby,” she blurted out.
Nathan’s face went through a full range of emotion, panic, fear, joy, love, confusion. You name it, and it rolled across his features. “Really?” he whispered.
“Really.”
Nathan let out a whoop and picked her off her feet and swung her round. “You have made me the happiest man alive,” he said before leaning in for a kiss.
Charlotte put a finger between their lips, and he kissed it but was pulled up short of the target he really wanted. “Promise me you will give me some space!”
“I promise.”
Her last thought before Nathan’s kiss swept her away was, did she need to have things prepared to throw at him... just in case he forgot?
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Chapter 1
“Beth, dear?”
Beth Brooker looked up and saw a short, plump woman with graying hair standing over her. There was a slight frown of concern on her kindly face. Clasped in her hands was a mug that had steam coming off it. Beth straightened up, fighting back the urge to shudder as goosebumps crawled across her body, despite the fact that she was sitting right next to the fire. It roared impressively, having been recently made, but she was still cold.
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