Pluto’s shoulders tensed at the thought. Both sounded exhausting. “Maybe.”
“It might be nice to have something to bond over. Like you and your mom do. I don’t really get a chance to do any of this stuff anymore, and even my D&D group has dwindled over the years. It would be nice to have a new buddy to do it all with again.” He put the photo back on the desk. “You two get settled in, and then we’ll decide what to eat for dinner, okay?”
He walked out of the office, leaving them, and Fallon dropped her backpack to the floor. “Your dad seems nice.”
“My mom says he’s ‘charming,’ ” Pluto responded.
“Thanks for inviting me,” Fallon said, picking up Pluto’s dad’s dice. “It’s . . . I’m very happy to not be home. Do you think your dad will teach us how to play Dungeons & Dragons? I want to be something cool. With like, a big sword.” Fallon motioned slicing the air with her imaginary weapon.
Pluto laughed. “Having to be in charge of a big sword or being responsible for any sort of adventure would make me too nervous. That’s probably why my dad and I never bonded over it before.”
“You like sci-fi, though. Fantasy’s just another type of imagination.”
“Physics and technology aren’t imaginary.”
Fallon rolled her eyes. “Don’t tell your mom I said this, but I read that Star Trek book. I’m not too convinced any of it could be real.”
Pluto’s dad decided they should order takeout and, as he said, “get a fresh start tomorrow.” Pluto didn’t know what that meant, but she focused instead on the stack of takeout menus her dad handed her for her and Fallon to choose from. Pluto immediately vetoed pizza, and Fallon chose Chinese.
Her dad ordered, and for fifty-two minutes, they sat in silence watching old sitcom reruns on TV until the doorbell rang. “That’s Sarah with the food,” her dad said, jumping up to answer it.
Pluto froze as Fallon asked, “Who’s Sarah?”
Sarah was her dad’s girlfriend.
Her dad opened the door and leaned in to kiss Sarah before letting her inside. “Hi!” she said, entering the apartment. “I’m Sarah.”
Sarah looked . . . well, if Pluto was being honest, she looked alarmingly like Pluto’s mom, if Pluto’s mom ironed her clothes more often and wore dresses. Their hair was the same shade of blond (Pluto was tempted to ask Sarah what her dye number was) but Sarah’s was shorter, cut above her shoulders. Her eyes, though, were bluer and her smile wasn’t the same.
Still, she looked friendly as she kicked off her shoes and crossed the room to join them. “Which one of you is Pluto Jean?” Only her dad ever used her full name. He hated that her mom named her Pluto. Adding her very normal middle name seemed to make him feel better.
“Me,” Pluto said, but her voice was so raspy, the word barely came out at all.
Sarah sat down right next to her. She put her large blue pocketbook down on the floor and reached into it, pulling out a small bottle of hand sanitizer, squeezing out a drop, and rubbing her hands together as she spoke. “I’ve been looking forward to meeting you. Don’t worry, I’m sticking around all weekend. If it were up to your dad, he’d keep you in here the whole time, and where’s the fun in that? I thought this visit called for more of an adventure.”
That made Fallon smile, but Pluto thought staying in the apartment the whole time, instead of facing the outside in the city, sounded pretty good to her.
Her dad set up plastic plates and utensils on the counter for her and Fallon, and he and Sarah ate at the coffee table. Sarah was friendly. She asked Fallon about her family and about the boardwalk; she half-heartedly scolded Pluto’s dad when he dropped lo mein on the floor. (“For someone so organized, your dad’s such a mess.”) She used her hand sanitizer consistently throughout dinner, except for the time she caught Pluto watching her and she dropped it back into her bag instead.
The entire ordeal was a bit much for Pluto, who barely ate anything.
Afterward, Fallon helped Sarah pick out a movie on Netflix as Pluto excused herself to the bathroom. She paused as she passed her dad’s bedroom. The door was ajar, and before she could stop herself, she pushed it open.
His bedroom had a huge window that made Pluto gasp, and she made her way over to it, pushing back the curtain to see the city view.
It was incredible. The lights from the buildings and cars and streetlamps were bright, and Pluto felt like she could see the whole city and none of the darkness that usually came at night. She placed her hand against the glass, cool against her skin as she watched life unfold around her. Nothing stopped moving in the universe; it was constantly in motion, and that seemed so obvious in New York City.
She looked up toward the sky and saw mostly buildings. The bits of sky she did see were empty.
“Great view, huh?” her dad said, making Pluto jump. “Sorry! Didn’t mean to scare you.”
Pluto looked back out at the city. It kept going. There was no stopping, no stars. There was no moon, and no quiet. Mercury, Venus, Earth, and Mars . . .
“I’m so glad you’re here,” he said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “I think you’re going to love it.”
Pluto didn’t think so. She didn’t think someone like her belonged here.
15
Pluto woke to someone gently shaking her shoulder, Fallon’s voice in her ear. “Pluto?”
Pluto pulled the scratchy sleeping bag over her face and rolled over onto her other side.
“Your dad and Sarah said we’d go get breakfast when you woke up,” Fallon went on. “But it’s . . . almost lunchtime, so they gave me some cereal, and said maybe we could get food later. You’ve been sleeping for a while.”
Pluto felt like she’d hardly slept at all, and she wanted to sleep longer.
The Mars Exploration Rover requires power to move or communicate with Earth. The main source of power comes from the solar panels that sprout from its sides like wings.
Pluto sometimes thought she needed sleep the way the Mars rover needed sun. After using too much energy, she needed to recharge. Until she did, Pluto could not move and could not communicate with anyone on Earth, either.
The air mattress dipped as Fallon climbed back on, lying down next to Pluto. Pluto turned to face her, and slowly blinked open her eyes. Fallon smiled. “You can sleep a little longer, if you want,” she said. “I can read. I brought a book with me.”
The Mars Exploration Rover had backup batteries, just in case the sun didn’t shine. Pluto didn’t have a backup, didn’t have anything to give her an extra boost when she felt like she just couldn’t, unless she counted her medication.
Pluto nodded. Fallon reached into her bag and pulled out a book.
She woke again an hour later, Fallon still reading next to her. Pluto felt the back of her neck grow warm. “You didn’t have to stay,” she said. She wished Fallon hadn’t. Her dad, and Fallon, and Sarah . . . they had all weekend to see post-diagnosis Pluto. It was a lot of hours and minutes and seconds for them to realize exactly what Pluto’s label meant.
The Mars Exploration Rover’s batteries would eventually stop working. There would come a day when it wouldn’t be able to recharge at all.
“I didn’t mind,” Fallon said. “Are you okay?
“I’m tired.”
“Can you get up now, though, you think?” Fallon asked, and as if on cue, her stomach grumbled. She laughed. “My stomach would appreciate it.”
Pluto didn’t laugh, but she did manage to smile.
They took turns washing up and dressing in the bathroom, and then found Sarah waiting on the sofa for them. She was rubbing her hands together and smiled when she saw them. “Oh good!” she said. “You’re awake. You must be starving.”
Pluto shrugged, but Fallon nodded.
“Your dad’s just in his room on the phone with work, but once he’s off, how about we go for some lunch?” Sarah said. “What do you guys think?”
“Tha
t sounds good to me!” Fallon said, before wiping her nose on her shirtsleeve.
Pluto wouldn’t have noticed if it didn’t seem to immediately draw Sarah’s attention. Sarah paused, like she was frozen in the middle of making a decision, but then she made that decision and pulled the hand sanitizer out of her bag. She used it before motioning for Fallon to hold out her hands.
“Sorry,” Fallon mumbled, rubbing the sanitizer in her palms.
“No, it’s okay. Seriously, no worries,” Sarah said, smiling as she dropped the sanitizer back into her bag. “There’s tissues on the counter if you need, though.”
Fallon reached for a tissue.
“Sorry about that,” Pluto’s dad said as he finally came out of his bedroom. “I can’t handle it when people are incompetent. Makes me have to do double the work.” He was buttoning the last few buttons on his shirt. “Let’s get going.”
Her dad opened the apartment door and held it for the rest of them. Fallon stepped into the hallway, and before Pluto could follow her, Sarah gently touched her shoulder. “I don’t mean to overstep, but I don’t think your dad’s on top of things and I need to check. Did you take your medication?”
Pluto blinked, startled and annoyed, even though Sarah was right. Pluto had forgotten about the baggie of medication that was shoved deep in her travel pack. She felt her cheeks turn pink and she looked down at the floor.
“Hey, no worries,” Sarah said. “I forget sometimes, too.”
Pluto’s eyes jerked up to meet Sarah’s. She took medication too? Pluto wanted to ask about it but couldn’t find the words. Did Sarah have bad days too, where she couldn’t get out of bed? Did she worry so hard sometimes it made her sick? Did she get angry, and sad, and scared, without knowing why?
Was she like Pluto?
Sarah must have seen all the questions written on Pluto’s face. She pulled out her little bottle of hand sanitizer, dripped some onto her hands, and began rubbing them together again. “I do this a lot,” Sarah said. “I can’t help it, especially now that it’s in my mind since we’re talking about it. It’s called OCD—Obsessive Compulsive Disorder—and I need to keep my hands clean, among other things. Even if they are clean. Even if I sometimes do it too much and my skin gets dry and raw.” She showed Pluto her hands, where some of the skin on her palms was red and peeling.
It wasn’t the same. But it was the first time Pluto felt like someone could really understand her. “I have depression and anxiety.”
Sarah smiled and said, “So go take your meds, and we’ll get going.”
Fallon ordered a turkey sandwich the size of her head, and Pluto got a BLT. Her dad did, too, but like the big kid her mom said he was, he got his with a side of cheese fries. Sarah got a salad topped with chicken, and let Pluto’s dad pick out the cucumber slices to pop in his mouth.
Sarah used hand sanitizer four times as they ate and excused herself to the bathroom to clean her hands once she was finished. Pluto couldn’t help watching her each time she pulled the little bottle out of her bag. After the third time, Sarah caught her looking and hesitated.
Pluto blushed, feeling guilty for watching. “Sorry.”
“No, no, it’s fine,” Sarah said. “I get a little embarrassed sometimes. When it first started, I didn’t even want to leave the house or tell anyone what was happening.” She was still holding the sanitizer in her hand, her other palm outstretched as if someone had hit pause on her.
“I understand,” Pluto said. And she did. She felt like she understood better than anyone, and she really wanted Sarah to know that. She wanted Sarah to understand her, too.
“So what should we do today?” Pluto’s dad interrupted. He turned to Sarah. “Your niece liked that American Girl doll store, right? We could do that.”
Pluto had not played with dolls since she was five, but of course her dad wouldn’t know that. (She doubted Fallon ever played with dolls, by the horrified look on her face.)
“I think, with it being such a gorgeous day out, it might be nice to head to the park for a walk,” Sarah said. “Oh! We could window-shop on our way. Everyone loves window-shopping.”
Pluto’s dad’s phone started ringing. “I’ll be right back,” he said. “I have to take this.”
He excused himself from the table, and Pluto thought about having to go outside, into the big lively city, where nothing ever stopped, and everything was fast and loud and moving, and Pluto felt small and tired and . . .
“We could always go right back up to your dad’s place if you don’t like it,” Sarah suddenly said. “We can order too much food and watch way too much TV.”
Pluto turned to Fallon, who was waiting for Pluto to take the lead. Fallon, Pluto knew, would go along with anything.
So, it seemed, would Sarah.
They would do whatever Pluto wanted, whatever she needed. Which was . . . well, if Pluto was being honest, it was awesome. She hadn’t felt this in control of anything in her life for quite some time.
“Is the park far?” Pluto asked.
Sarah shook her head. “You probably saw it from your dad’s window. Just a few blocks up from here. We could walk it.”
Pluto’s dad came back to the table. “Okay, you girls are going to have to fly solo today. I have to go fix something at the office; everyone there is useless. But I’ll catch up with you for dinner. How’s that sound?”
“John, really?” Sarah asked, brow creased. “I’m not . . . you really have to go?”
He placed a quick kiss on her cheek. “Just a couple hours. Go to the park. Shop. Have fun. You don’t need me getting in the way.” He turned to Pluto. “Okay, Pluto Jean?”
They all looked at her.
Pluto could say she wanted to go back to bed, and they would let her. She could ask to be left alone, and they would go along. They wouldn’t push her to get a move on if she didn’t want to.
She realized with a jolt that she did want to go.
“Okay,” Pluto said. “Let’s go to the park.”
It was a surprisingly good day. Pluto liked it. She liked the city, she liked being in the city, even though it was loud and it was crowded, and she liked that when she reached for Fallon’s hand, Fallon took it and held it tight the whole time.
She didn’t like all of it, though. She didn’t like the grates that smelled of smoke and gas and garbage, and she certainly didn’t like walking over them, especially when she could hear the subway trains underneath. She didn’t like looking up, up, up at the tall buildings that made her feel light-headed. She didn’t like the way people rushed by and bumped into her and made her lose her hold on Fallon’s hand.
But she liked the way the sun reflected off the windows of the buildings. She liked that the park seemed surrounded by those buildings.
Here in the city, hidden behind the barricade of skyscrapers, you can find isolated green grass and trees and a reservoir, the city’s own little secret wilderness waiting to be explored.
The pigeons reminded Pluto of seagulls, which reminded her of home, so she liked them, too. She liked the horse-drawn carriages, the smell of Nuts4Nuts, the fancy clothes in the store windows.
Fallon liked the clothes in the windows, too, and as they walked along Fifth Avenue, Pluto only realized Fallon had slowed her pace when she gently pulled free of Pluto’s hand. Fallon was staring into a store with elegant tuxes, three-piece suits with different color ties and pocket-handkerchiefs.
Pluto remembered Fallon’s list, that Fallon did not want to wear a dress to her brother’s wedding.
“You’d look really nice in one of those,” Pluto said.
Fallon blushed, but she couldn’t hide her smile.
Pluto liked making her smile.
Sarah got them ice cream, and Fallon and Pluto ate their cones as they climbed the rocks on the edges of the reservoir, looking out at the water and the runners, the ducks and the trees, and—as their backdrop—the New York City buildings.
&n
bsp; “Hey, you two, get together and look here,” Sarah said. “Let me take your picture!”
Fallon and Pluto stood together on top of their rock, overlooking the park, the city, everything, and Fallon pulled Pluto close. They both said, “Cheese!” and Sarah took the picture, and Fallon helped Pluto climb back down.
“I’ll text this to your dad so he can see it and send it to your mom,” Sarah said. “She’ll love this.”
Pluto froze, as Fallon ran over to Sarah to ask if she could see the photo, too.
She hadn’t thought about her mom once all day.
16
Pluto’s dad met them back at his apartment an hour after they got back from their day out in the city. He brought boxes of pizza he said were “the best pizza in the city, so the best pizza in the world,” which made Pluto frown, even though she ate it without comment.
“Can you teach us how to play D&D after dinner?” Fallon had a long string of cheese dangling from her mouth to the pizza in her hand, and she talked even as she tried to eat it.
Pluto’s dad pointed an excited finger in Fallon’s direction, as he said to Pluto, “I like this kid! She’s a good find, Pluto Jean!”
Fallon swallowed the cheese, ducking her head to try and hide her smile.
There are about two hundred billion galaxies in the known universe, and our galaxy is home to at least one hundred billion planets. Still, Pluto ended up on this planet, this Earth. And out of the 1.3 million identified species on Earth, Pluto and Fallon both ended up as people on the same New Jersey boardwalk. When all of Pluto’s friendships were falling apart, when she didn’t know how to be a good friend, Fallon had walked through the pizzeria door.
How to Become a Planet Page 10